• Member Since 30th May, 2013
  • offline last seen May 21st, 2023

Cyanjames2819


Um... hi. I like reading, writing and drawing. Sorry, I don't take commissions/requests anymore, I don't trust myself in finishing them. Have a nice day/night, everyone.

Comments ( 133 )

Good job. This is catching my interest. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Im gonna go rest my sour headaches.

Hmmm, I wonder how naughty this Fluttershy can get? Did she can create a certain well know princess? You know depth down, you would love to know what is a royal meange a troa

Where do I begin?

The dialogue is AWFUL... beyond words...

We are expected to believe that Fluttershy is suddenly this sex crazed dominatrix person without any sort of explanation aside from "Oh.. she's horny".

The story itself is cringeworthy at best.

The "writer" (I use that term lightly) is obviously shoehorning themselves into this story as the protagonist (who in all honesty is amazingly flat with no defining characteristics)

The "erotic" parts are incredibly generic and horribly written (much like the entire story) and consist of "dick" "flower" "moans" and the usual words used in "stories" like this.

And the dialogue (which was already bad) is made WORSE by having two characters talking in the SAME PARAGRAPH...

Please oh please oh please oh please.. don't continue this...

Sorry, but I don't really listen to people like you. I ain't perfect and so are you.
So talk bad all you want.

2683268

Really? Of course no one is perfect, but that's no excuse to not improve. If I posted stories here I'd take all the critique I could get. I want to be the best person I can be, why don't you?

As for the story, I have to agree with MilkshakeCadenza. Fluttershy seems pretty out of character to me, there's barely any description or variety in the words, and it's very confusing when two characters talk in the same paragraph.

2683320 Of course I'm gonna try to improve, I just don't like being talked/messaged that way. And yeah, Fluttershy is out of character, just trying a little experiment, doesn't hurt. And besides, these are just fictional characters and I'm sorry if any of you readers aren't satisfied with this. Similar things happened with characters like Cupcakes with Pinkie, Molestia and Lunaughty.

I will try to improve on making stories, it'll just take time, that's all. Giving me a few tips won't hurt as well.

Weird, I though Shy will be dress in…the opposite of that, you know the one that love to be punish it. And since Luna want to join the fun why don't you make what every one is thinking. Shy and Luna in church tight school outfit, they want fun, they will unless the beast with that, yeah I will like to see that. Shy go to fast and awake the beast inside Winter, to experience the most intense and wild sex to the point of sex coma. And Luna barely able to stand up.

Oh an idea, can you explore the fetish of master? I know Shy is the one that love to be dominated, I just know it, there must be a collar with her name in some place in the house…or can be a special birthday after dark gift from Winter

Yar,I have a question.Who in the seven seas is Winter?Is he made up or something?:rainbowhuh:

Here is some........spam?:ajsmug::applecry::ajbemused::ajsleepy::applejackconfused::applejackunsure::coolphoto::derpyderp1::derpyderp2::derpytongue2::fluttercry::flutterrage::applecry::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::fluttershysad::heart::pinkiecrazy::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::pinkiesad2::pinkiesick::pinkiesmile::fluttershyouch::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowderp::rainbowhuh::rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild::raritycry::raritydespair::raritystarry::raritywink::scootangel::trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::twilightangry2::twilightblush::twilightoops::twilightsheepish::twilightsmile::twistnerd::unsuresweetie::yay::trixieshiftright::trollestia::moustache::facehoof::eeyup::duck::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:

2744910 Basically, he's a human trapped in Equestria, tried to go back home with the help of Twilight's knowledge of universe to universe jump and Celestia's power, but fails and lost all his memories about his home and everyone (Human friends, family). Now he lives with Fluttershy in their cottage happily ever after. Read 'Ink' if you want to learn a little more about him.

Well I really don't like to much of the tie up, but I do have some suggestion the all famous triangle, the double finger in both of them, and some lactase. I was hoping he can teach Shy and Luna how pleasure a nipple can get and lactated in a totally different form.

So Luna as well, I wonder if she were sad when she find out Shy start a relationship with Winter and fear that she will no longer help her with her urges, then confess that she has a little crush on both of them, and then ask them both if they would like to add a 3rd one in their relationship, a secret one, like a fuck body. I can imagine that happening

it seems that Winter is having the time of his life. Keep up the grate work!

My, my its looks like some mares like a little rough, something tell me, in future chapters Winter will take a leap of fate and give a "personal" gift to her.

Ah leash and a dog collar with the name of her on a plaque. I only saying something tells me that is just a matter of time before Shy will start asking him if she can call him master.
Oh I will also like to see Luna asking to be punished,

Great job I can't wait to see what will come up next

Good chapter, i am looking forward to the next one :)

Men that was a good chapter, I wonder what will happen next, je perhaps Luna will a collar for her own, after all she is a naughty little mare, and if I am correct, they like to be spank too

OOOHHHHH SWEET CALESTRIA!!!! *WING BONER* :twilightoops:

XDi don't understand why this has bad rating....

3046732 I guess it's because of what I did to Shy and Luna, and possibly my writing. But as long as readers keeping reading, I'm willing to keep it going.

Now that was hart worming and funny with the kids. Keep up the grate job you are doing. :pinkiehappy:

Badly written, lightning-fast paced, many punctuation, spelling and grammar mistakes, flat, not much of a transition (if any) from normal Fluttershy to in-heat Fluttershy, not to mention she is completely out of character, dull scenes, this What's-his-face human OC... Shall I go on?

In short, this story? Was heinous.

At least you tried.

And I'm still on the first chapter!

Her stomach was twice its size now

Twice it's size as compared to what? You need to point out a frame of reference for this.

Sapphire helped her out a little more, sense she was pregnant and all.

Sapphire? Who dis? Sapphire Shores? Where did she come from?

"Oh, you sure, I'm mean that's too…" I cut her off.

Her... who? Derpy or Dinky? Also, there ought to be, at the very least, a question mark after "you sure,". It is a question.

Thank you sire

Sire? Or sir?

Slowly, my penis started to make a bulge in my pants. "Mmm" she smiled and slipped her hoof in my pants and shorts, "Getting hard are you" she started slip my pants and shorts off.

I'm surprised you didn't make this a full-blown run on sentence.

Her smell just intoxicated my whole senses

"Her smell just overwhelmed all my senses." Would be a better line.

And please. Don't get me started on the tense shifts. I'd never stop.

baby safe toys

Implying that there some baby toys designed to harm?

"Who's the two cutest little foals!? You are!" Luna played peekaboo on the floor with our kids.

Where did Her Highness come from?! Also, you forgot her character tag.

Is there going to be sex in every chapter?

Aaaaand that's enough of this for me. Imma go shower and hit the hay.

female women

*sigh* I'm a bad liar. Anyway, there are male women? That's kind of a total failure.

3056439 pfft wait until u see the cliff hanger that i gived him since he needed my bf help with part 2 but i helped him instead since my bf is in the medical room resting up and if u don't know who i'm talking about for the cliff hanger i'm talking about the person who owns this clop fic for me i would really say clop/fan fic >:3 and no the owner of this clop/fan fic is not my bf :/ :facehoof: i would have put his name after i typed this *yawn* hmm i'm tired i need some sleep .... note to self hit my bf's twin brother across the head for being a dick :facehoof: ~shadowgod's gf

Did she just talk to my tush? :rainbowlaugh: made me laugh for the day.

Je I kind of wonder what they do for birthdays? Did Shy and Luna wrap themselves on nothing but gift paper and transform into antropormorfic ponies versions of them? Did Shy get to be wash by her husband? Yeah, I'm curious about what they do in annual celebrations

Okay everybody/pony, here's the new deal with this fic. I will be taking requests and I will try my best to finish them all. So post a comment on what you like to read next after "Part 2". And if you don't mind, I will post your username on the Author's Note for your idea of the chapter. Till next time, have a nice day and good reading. The reason for this is, I'm running out of ideas, so Post!:flutterrage:

3087933 Ps. I will send you the chapter if it is what you ordered and make a few changes under your accord.

Have a nice day.:twilightsmile:

a good slice of life chapter. i do hope to see more of them. keep up the good work.

Boy its looks like Fluttershy like to bite when reaching her orgasm, I wonder if she like to be biting? I mean she like to be dominant and to be spanked, I bet someone biting her specially with the canines will draw her crazy, and maybe one bite into her privates or flanks can even make her come right in the spot

3056955 the guy does get a little batter with the chapthers too (sorry for the bad grammer im english is not my natural lenguega):twilightblush:

Je well that is one hell of a party gift, I wonder what will they will be next? Bath Luna, cover Shy in whip cream for her? a special massage from Winter? I can't wait to see

A Nice Chapter. I can see why the Princess Luna and Celestia do not wont to lose him to that demon that is taking him over. He and his family has become more then just good friends, but family.

Keep up the good work you are doing on the storys and I hope to see more soon.

Dragonfox

Aww…Luna looks like he loves him too. I wonder what will happen if she latter own get herself pregnant? Did Winter and her will have to get married and he will have to become a prince?

Oh I also wonder if she or Fluthershy will love if Winter defend their honor if some bully start to pick on them, like Blueblood or Gilda

3234482 encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTcV23ryM_dFILCWqwO2Nrw-c4lLlxI5zq_rikD-74ZPxPAe32K encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSPxL2Yolmg1XqU3fALUD6-eYx8O9xYe-xTmhYCfVTjCp4NJbHSDg (open the images before reading the rest of this it will make sense .-.) winter is a prince :trollestia: i'm not telling who is his real father is ^.^ i'm not going that far :pinkiecrazy: all i can tell u that his father is one of my FC ponies who is a alicorn >:D and it will be in a shocking chapter :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiecrazy: ...... now i gotta tell the owner of this clop fic who is mu buddy :3 who i am helping him making this clop fic :twilightsheepish: to put in a chapter of my fc pony with all the other characters of his clop fic :3

My word app is kind of busted, but I had no idea how long it would be with chapter 12. I didn't realize it was above 5 thousand words. Man, I love my busted app now.:pinkiesad2:

Have a nice day everyone and good reading :pinkiehappy:

3236820 Oh, and ah, thanks for the support everyone. Love you all :pinkiehappy:
"Epic Bro Hoof!" :flutterrage:

Jeje, now I see, why Shy loves him so much, he really had won his place and I will not be surprise if she will let him do whatever she want to her.
Oh maybe even in his birthday she likes to cover herself in present rope and nothing else. Or put cake on her naked body with a party cone and say happy birthday big boy, blow up the candle and enjoy your cake. Maybe even with Luna

P.S: Wait Shy is still in an antropormorfic pony body? Is she decided to stay that way? Because if that is the case, I would think Winter will had some idea for their anniversary and gave her a wedding dress to try on.

Je I knew eventually you will put a scene where they sleep in the famous 'connect way' do they already try the 69? I will not be surprise if they try that or the triangle with Luna

WoAh when did this story get 50 dislikes?

3400936 Don't know why, they probably only read the first few chapters. I don't really care about the 'dislikes' though, I'm just writing for the people who are still reading it.
I'm just contently studying about Equestria's past, the European medieval times, armory, weapons and all that for "Divine" and thinking of what to do in "Mending the Broken". Aaaaand, thinking about interstellar space travel, life on other planets, where the nearest star systems are and anything that involves space, high-tech technology, the nature of planets and ETs.
Yeah, I feel like Twilight stuck in her studies and I'm loving it.:pinkiehappy: I mean I always loved learning new things, but planning and applying them in stories is heck of a lot more fun. I feel like Einstine.:moustache:
Well! That's enough of me, have a nice day!:twilightsmile:

3400995
True so…when the next chapter will come up? very soon?

3464319 Next Week! I'm working on it right now so it should come up next Friday.:twilightsmile:

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