• Member Since 29th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 10th, 2015

Mayhem Darkshadow


Edgar Deutschland!!!

E
Source

After a tragic incident occurs Fluttershy disappears from sight. As the days roll by her absence starts to worry ponies, especially her best friends. After a quick get together it is decided that Rainbow Dash should be the one to figure out what's going on. The problem is she doesn't believe she'll be able to help, especially if her being caring and compassionate is required.

Edited by: psychohooves and Avatar of Shadow

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 59 )

YAY a new story... y you no on skype? :rainbowwild:

Very touching story, only one thing I noticed.

Rainbow Dash shook her head and then raped her hoof hard on the door persistently.

I think that may be the wrong word.

2930429

I am but I don't use it that much :twilightoops:

2930483

Thanks I didn't see that. Fixed it :raritystarry:

It was definitely good; my only gripes would be that there were more breaks than necessary, and I don't think Fluttershy would have been able too form such a long, coherent recounting of the events concerning Angel's death.

Good work! Hope the FBC can help it get featured! :pinkiehappy:

2930536

Thanks Doc. Getting your approval means a lot :twilightsmile:

Ok I cried

Love how you wrote this, you got Flutters an Dash's personalities spot on. This is being favourited and uprated.

:pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile: / 5

2930568

Thanks mate glide you liked it :moustache:

2930614

You just seem like a cool guy who knows his stuff :twilightblush:

2930649

"Log entry 7: I've managed to convince them of my superior English skills. Next step: indoctrination."

:pinkiecrazy:

2930483

That, out of context, just gave me horrid pictures...

2931395

Me too. Reminded me of the fic Rainbow Dash and the Kitchen Sink :twilightoops:

2931395 Well, hey, unless you are into that kind of thing:trollestia:

2931441

GTFO I FOUND SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES ME!

2931434

Thanks. Im hoping so I put a lot of work into it :yay::moustache:

"I was enjoying the beautiful night with Angel as I went about my nightly routine of tucking in and saying goodnight to all my animals whose homes were outside. Normally, Angel would be snuggled up in his little basket, but lately he would join me, wanting to enjoy Princess Luna's beautiful night. I didn't mind of course. In fact, he was essentially the alpha-male to all my animals. If I couldn't get their attention, Angel always could.
I walked over to the chicken coop with Angel. He really was my favorite assistant, as I would always tell him. I proceeded to check inside the coop to say goodnight and count the chickens, but I noticed something was... off... One of my chickens appeared to be missing.
I looked around to see if I could find my chicken, but much to my surprise, Angel was missing too. I called out to him and finally spotted him... He was running towards.... *gulp* The Everfree Forest... chasing after that chicken...
I chased after him as fast as I could, calling out to him to stop. I wanted to get them before we got even close to the Everfree Forest's entrance, so I ran as fast as I possibly could.
I begged him to stop, feeling my heart race as we got closer and closer to the entrance of the Everfree Forest. And... That's when it happened...
Three massive Timberwolves appeared suddenly at the entrance of the Everfree Forest... Almost instantly, they tore to shreds and devoured my chicken. My little Angel stood there in pure horror, too scared to move. And when I finally got close.... It was too late...
The wolves torn to shreds and devoured my little bunny, just like they did to my chicken. It was horrifying... I begged them to stop, but they only rubbed the whole scene in my face by flashing their blood coated teeth and growling fiercely. I couldn't contain my anger and unleashed my stare upon them, so full of hatred and pain that it even caused the Timberwolves to scurry away, yipping in fear. After they were gone, I collapsed on the ground and wailed in sorrow... My little Angel... He..... He was gone... Forever...."

Just no.

If Fluttershy really was in such state you describe, everything she'd say would be something like 'Angel... Dead... Timberwolves... Dead!' I suggest you to rewrite this monologue.

A good story otherwise.

2931817

A good idea. I'll consider it :twilightsmile:

2932004

I didn't write that actually one of my editors did. We are going to talk about it tomorrow :moustache:

:pinkiesad2: So much D'awwwwwwww

Excellent work here. Keep up the good work and remember to keep on crusading!:pinkiehappy:

Excellent work. I love friendshipping :pinkiehappy:.

2933217

A nice break from the norm I thought :yay:

2932004 :facehoof: i sorta agree but... when my dad died i wasnt all dad...cancer...dead... though some people are how you described... not trying to be a butt hurt...
i loved this story :pinkiehappy:

2935057

Naw I've been gone all day :duck: I am going to here in a bit

2935036 I'm not saying she would be exactly how I said. But she for sure would not speak like she's trying to re-tell a novel.

Sorry for your dad.

Comment posted by I HV NO FEAR deleted Jul 26th, 2013

2936680 i understand where youre coming from and thanks... ive felt like crap ever since he died...

2940118 When has it happened? I mean, if you're okay with telling, of course.

2940135 two years ago, he died of colon cancer. :fluttercry: he was my role model in life

2940173 Oh. I am really sorry for your loss. *pats on the shoulder*

2940192 thanks... i needed that... :pinkiesmile: its just...my life has sucked so bad cause of this...:pinkiesad2:

2940215 As cliche as it sounds, but I don't think your role model would be happy to see you sad like this. It's okay to mourn, but I suggest you not to let this ruin all your future life. :pinkiesmile:

2940247 :twilightsmile: I know, but sometimes its kinda hard, :pinkiesad2: but i promise not to let it ruin my life. ill be as happy as i can be. :pinkiesmile:

Shame this didn't get more love. I really enjoyed this one. It was a joy editing it for you. Keep it up. :twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

2940274 That would be just great!

2940283 ive been writing alot latley and its been helping me a lot. i have a story im working on right now ill tell you when its done so you can read it ok?

2940290 aight, I'll give it a read. But I'm gonna be 100% honest about it, okay?

2940319 of course my other stories are up. they are called A World Torn (not my best), Against all odds thats my better one. My newest story Two sides of the Storm is getting some love as well and the one im currently working on is called Along Came a Broken Heart

Daw, flutterdash FRIENDshipping, love it :pinkiesad2:

This was awesome.

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