Anon is a villain. Not a particularly good one, but... he’s a villain. Let’s see what stupid shit he did this time.

A one-shot inspired by “If movie Villains didn’t waste time”

But yeah it probably is. This is going to be my take in the Generic Anon in Equestria trope, freestyled from the beginning of Bridle Gossip at the request of the purchaser. Shennanigans shall most likely ensue. Contains excessive philosophical discussion, pseudoscientific worldbuilding mumbo jumbo, and a light dash of casual humor.

Cover art by Twitter artist Andaluce!

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Featured seven fucking days running since 2/13/2021 holy shit you guys this is insane :0

Check out a sweet audiobook reading of the first half of the first chapter here, by a wonderful fan ^^.

After failing a math test, Anon returns home to her adoptive mother; Twilight, who attempts to teach Anon basic math. Unfortunately for her, math is harder than it appears.
Will Twilight learn a lesson?
Will Discord cause chaos?
Is Princess Celestia too fat?
Will Anon get the cake?
The answer is mostly yes.

My entry, and now the winner of the Anon Filly Contest
Featured on the day of its posting; 3/6/2020!
and
With a reading by StraightToThePointStudios!

Anon has been forced into Canterlot's throne room. Even worse, Princess Celestia is inside of it. Crying silently.

Welp, there's only one real solution here.

Boops.

Now's the time to hope this isn't a crime of any sort, and that he isn't sent to the sun anytime soon.

First publicized story- would definitely appreciate criticism.

And being completely honest- this was made in under an hour. A product of sudden inspiration.

Edit 5/17/19: Christ, featured less than an hour after it was posted and generally liked- i'm honoured. Glad you all enjoyed my silly little story!
As of 12/12/22, this still manages to appear on popular stories and featured occasionally when I post, which I cannot fathom-

Now featuring a Ko-fi for the generous, looking to help me out or the folks I want to support in my life.

A human baby, weak and fragile, is found by queen Gaia, the ruler of Equestria.Together with king Solaris, the two adopt you as their son.
Join our little prince in his times of joy and in his times of strife. With friends by his side and his little sisters, our prince will understand that friendship is magic. For he is, after all, the elder brother.

Insipred loosley onThe monster of Canterlot and (very loosley on...) The love of the sun (can't add a link because it's against FimFiction rules, go figure)
A little something I wanted to share, hope you enjoy...

Octavia, going on a rather extended tour with her orchestra, has charged Vinyl Scratch with the care of a human that she's been caring for: Anonymous. At his size, the ponies and their world is amazonian to him. Not only is the human smaller than Vinyl, but she must care for him until Octavia returns. Normally, something that wouldn't be a problem for a unicorn, but an accident from years past adds a strange twist to her endeavors.

I don't know, I suck at descriptions.

You are Anon, one of the unlucky saps who went through a power lotto and came out with the ability to walk on clouds. Less a power and more a quirk, you are left on the sky city known as Cloudsdale, your only friend being Rainbow Dash, the coolest pony who has adorable gushes here and there.

Though the problem is that she's also a lesbian with no chances of her being bi. So you've pretty much crashed and burned on that potential love. Fortunately, her mom sets you up with the next best thing: herself.

Art by dsp2003

You are the son of Anon, a person who came to Equestria and had romantic misadventures with the ponies he met. Eventually, he married into the Pie family and fathered you. This made you have the best aunt in the world: Pinkie Pie.

However, tragedy struck, leaving you to be a broken person with Fluttershy having to pick up the pieces.

Obvious Hurt/Comfort story is obvious.

Despite the cover, this is an Anthro!Equestria.

This story is a sequel to Happiness is a Warm Pony

As you pull it out of the box, you see that there's a design of a pony-- a mare-- printed on either side. She's blue-"furred", with a lilac mane and tail, falling down her back in waves. She stared up at the ceiling with blue-iris eyes. Then you realize it. An image of a mare-- sewn into a pillow-- one as tall as you are. Of course. This is a dakimakura. And a darn well-made one at that; the pony printed on its faces is amazingly lifelike.

Then it speaks.

Coverart by Badumsquish (not on Fimfiction).

In the three months you, Anon E. Mous, have been in Equestria, no other pony you know is as unique as Ginger-Bread.

Besides her unfailing companionship, when most other ponies would avoid you, out of fear, or of paranoia, she also likes to snuggle up with you late at night, with her heating-elements keeping you warm, and your arms wrapped around her body, making for a pleasant night of comfort for the two of you.

Oh, and she makes toast.

Coverart by Badumsquish (not on Fimfiction), and approved by Obselescence.

Dedicated to anyone who is spending Valentine's Day alone.