80% Dashier

You sighed as the cool breeze of Cloudsdale swept past you. You were one of those humans who got to Equestria with a cool new power… Well, that’s the premise, at least.

In reality, you got the short end of the stick. Every other hero you knew had shit like “get progressively stronger each time this power is passed on”, “exploding punches”, “gravity”, “speed”, fuck, even the lameass power of talking to the creatures of the ocean, which was later proven to be the most badass thing you can ever have considering that Cthulhu is one such creature.

Instead, you got the power to walk on clouds. That’s it. You walk. On clouds. You can’t even think of a cool use for it. You just walk on clouds. You still had to get a lift from your friend, someone who had been blessed with the basic flying brick package, and he’s often going around playing exterminator in wherever Chrysalis is hiding.

So more times than not, you were stuck in the clouds, waiting for what was basically Superman if he worked for Uber and Pest Control as double duty to come and pick you up once he was done going Injustice: Gods Among Us on the Changeling remnant.

It was a very shitty life, one you would definitely have words about with the asshole who placed you in this world with shitty powers in the first place, but the only glimmer of happiness was that, due to your cloud walking, you often visited, admittedly by most if not all fans of the show, the coolest and most badass pony: Rainbow Dash.

But that was merely that. A glimmer. Rainbow Dash, much to your chagrin, confirmed the theory most bronies had and was a lesbian. You didn’t know who she was bucking, but you had some hopes it was Fluttershy. Cute ship.

But still, you liked Rainbow Dash. Your chats with her have, while not pleasant, been quite an experience. Every time Rainbow Dash would gush about the Wonderbolts or Daring Do, you just want to hug her and pet her like the little Dashie she was.

Just that every time you tried, she’d often either ignore your affections, or worse, whack you with her bushy tail. Doesn’t really hurt as much as she had wanted it, but it did leave a lasting impact on your psyche.

So when it finally came time for her to outright label herself as a lesbian, you instantly gave up and fell to a depression. There was some solace though. A while after Rainbow Dash’s parents got word of her being a Wonderbolt and the resulting conflicts that rose from it, Rainbow Dash grew mellow enough with them to pop over their house. Often, you’d come for the ride.

In a way, Rainbow Dash’s parents were probably the best surrogates to parents you could have. Well, Scootaloo also thinks so, but that’s beyond the point. When Rainbow Dash came out of the closet, she also did it in front of her parents. Naturally, they cheered and applauded. But once she left to go visit her girlfriend, Dash’s parents turned their attention to you.

“Eh, that’s okay, sport. Plenty of fish in the sea.” Bow told you as he playfully punched your elbow.

“Yes, I’m sure you’ll find someone…” Windy blinked for a moment, trying to find the best words. “Well, no pony can be cuter than our daughter!” Windy’s freckled cheeks propped up as she smiled. Of course she’d have bias. But, your frown caught her attention. After a glance to Bow, Windy patted you on the back with a wing of hers.

“Come, I have an idea.” She trotted as you followed her to the living room couch, where she laid down, legs sprawled as if she were someone’s cat. She flopped a bit, her back resting against the back cushion and showing you her soft belly and chest fluff. “You know, genetically I’m 80% Rainbow Dash.” She said.

Was she… seducing you!? In front of her husband? What kind of messed up shit is this? Does Bow get off to NTR? As if to answer you, Bow pushed you.

“Go at her.” He smiled. Well, he wasn’t angry, that’s for sure. Even when he’s essentially giving up his wife to you, you couldn’t even detect a faint hint of resentment. He really wants you to have his wife. You turned to Windy as she began to whistle to you. You felt a little faint. Windy Whistles was the closest thing you have to a mom in this universe.

“Is something wrong?” Windy asked you. Your heart sank as her smile turned upside down. She really wanted what was best for you. Best you can do is play her game. You got onto the couch as she grappled you. Your head instantly smothered into her fuzzy chest. “Mmmmm! I haven’t held someone like this since my little Dashie got her first nightmare about moving out!” She nuzzled you.

However, you didn’t resist her tight grip, instead, you held her, your hands rustling through her soft feathers. She was right, she has Rainbow’s genes in her, and you loved Rainbow Dash. But the difference was clear as night and day. Rainbow Dash is pretty egotistical, can be an outright asshole at times, and on her off days (which she can have plenty of), she can be a total bitch despite being so cuddly when it comes to gushing and boasting.

Windy Whistles, however, was one of the nicest ponies you’ve met. Not only did she treat you with the same amount of care that she gave Rainbow Dash, but also to Scootaloo, even regarding her as the little daughter they never had. Perhaps it was a case of empty nest syndrome and that the parents needed to shower the love they had for Rainbow Dash to new avenues to prevent themselves from going mad from the isolation.

You just continued to hug the soft, fuzzy mother of the pony you loved. With the cool breeze sifting through the house, the linen smell of Windy’s fur as her feathers tickled your fingers, and a brief kiss on her cheek, you felt extremely relaxed. As soon as you wiped out, you could feel a heavy blanket wrapped onto you.

You woke up an hour later. Windy was gone, helping Bow make dinner for them and possibly you. You smiled, but then looked down onto the cloudy carpet and frowned. You definitely feel like one of those fat, chubby nerds who insist on living with their parents. A basic NEET freeloader. Hell, you knew someone who was like this: Zephyr Breeze. Though he was less fat and more skinny.

But before you got up and tried to leave, Windy went back to the living room.

“Dinner will be ready soon. How do you like your steak?” She asked you.

“Um… I might need to head.” You sighed. “I don’t deserve to be here.” You said. Windy then flew to you and gave you a big hug. Instantly you were brought back to that feeling of calm relaxation.

“Nonsense! You’ll always be a member of this family! We like having you around!” She said to you. You smiled and gave her ear a scritchie.

“You mean it?” You asked.

“Of course we do!” You thought back to how they might have empty nest syndrome. You looked at Windy’s happy, pretty face. How could you break it? You had to protect that smile. So you smiled back.

“Rare.” You chuckled. She smiled and went back to the kitchen. You looked at the time. Huh, your friend was taking longer than normal. Ah well, he probably needed to execute Chrysalis in a lengthy video to show Celestia as proof of her death. Nothing for you to worry about. You just went to the kitchen. You never filled that void with Rainbow Dash’s love, but hey, at least you filled it with someone who was 80% as cool as her.

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Comments ( 12 )

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The Bricklayer

The Bricklayer #1 · May 24th, 2017 · · 1 ·

Well, this is a new one. It's cute in a way, but I have to say, it's way too short and there's a lot of things that could have been expanded upon. Just for that, I can't really like or dislike this fic. There's nothing that really puts me over into one of those two territories.

HumanSVD

HumanSVD #2 · May 24th, 2017 · 3 · ·

Interesting. Was expecting this to be sexual but it wasn't.

Vik

Vik #3 · May 25th, 2017 · · ·

8186820 Me too

Anyway, this was a good story. I don't usually like "human in Equestria" stories, but I liked this one.

Dash32

Dash32 #4 · May 25th, 2017 · · ·

RARE steak?! Ew!! BURN IT!! I like mine well don

Aurora Dimmet

Aurora Dimmet #5 · May 25th, 2017 · 2 · ·

8187212

There's anon as in "this is a gender neutral audience avatar striving to put you in the story" and there is Anonymous, which is... his own thing. Technically founded in the same roots, but still winds up being a wholly different entity. 99% of the time male, usually with a very unrealistic and singular personality somewhat based on a stereotypical 4channer.

Assuming the first when the story plainly implies or tells you the anon is male is not the best use of your logical faculties. Instead, assume that it is the latter.

SunBlaze