• Member Since 19th Mar, 2017

Johnny B Mediocre


psst it's me I'm a horse

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Total Words: 17,647,929
Estimated Reading: 7 weeks

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E
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She tries to provide a living example. Demonstrating how much better things could be when you're just happy and willing to get close. Of course, there are those who say that Izzy gets a little too close. But when she's in a new place every day, the disorientation is almost constant and she just needs to center on something sort of familiar... then at least there's other ponies. Frequently at a proximity of roughly seven tail strands.

Maretime Bay isn't fully comfortable with that. Which may be why the bulk of it just took out a restraining order. Trying to get Izzy to back off, just a little, until she learns to respect personal space.

Or maybe they're just trying to make an example out of her.


Cover art from a vector capture by Lavender-Bases.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (4)
T

This is an anthology of silly, cute, unrelated short stories about Anon, Chrysalis, and their friends and family. It takes place after Bed Bug, Lovesickness, Run Without Debugging, and Gamophobia, but reading them is not required to understand or enjoy this story.


Being married to the ex-queen of the changelings, Chrysalis, is an interesting experience. Having five little bug children running around doesn't make matters any easier. That said, one thing is certain...

There's more than enough love to go around.


Rating for occasional no-no words and sex jokes/innuendo.


Now featuring art of the bug children!

Chapters (7)
T
Source

Fizzlepop Berrytwist, now acclimated to Ponyville by Twilight's recommendation, was invited to a party for Gummy's birthday. She didn't want to go, but she went anyway, and found herself being alone, again. Like always.

Fortunately for her, a human by the name of Anon was not a fan of being alone. And he was going to make sure she wasn't alone any longer, even if it meant embarrassing her the whole time.


Art by TenebrisNoctus (source for direct link to picture).

Inspired by The Darkest Moment - Say Your Sorries (And Goodbyes).

Pre-read by: Chaospaladin and Rikkity.

Chapters (1)
T
Source

Anon was holding Princess Celestia's forehooves.

He doesn't know if she liked it.

She did. A little more than Anon thought.


Dedicated to the horse homies, NorrisThePony (you're welcome) and Odd_Sarge (who will most likely ask me why I'm SMIRKAING again).

Art by blackkaries (linked in source).

Now with an audio reading done by The Mystery Fluttershy Fan!

Chapters (1)
E

One week after Starlight Glimmer suffered a "relapse" during some long-overdue friendship lessons, Spike found her reflecting and lamenting in her bedroom. After some urging from the dragon, Starlight admitted she wasn't sure if the Mane 6 (save for Twilight) had truly accepted her as "one of them." But most of all, the reformed friend-in-training legitimately wondered if a pony with her past even deserved friends at all.

Naturally, Spike had some things to say about that.

Chapters (1)
E

Covers removed from his bed. A warm spot on the mattress right next to him. Strange voices and shadowy figures haunting his sleepy, delirious mind. These are but a few of the odd occurrences that have been plaguing the Anon household.

Tonight, he's going to get to the bottom of it all.

Chapters (1)
E

This story is a sequel to I'm Gonna Put Some Cake In Your Eye


Kisses. They're basically Pinkie Pie's favorite thing, right behind parties and baking and her friends and her family and Gummy and...

Well, she really likes kisses. Specifically, giving kisses. And now that she's married, she can do that as much as she wants!

Get used to it.

Chapters (1)
T

Sire's Hollow is a quaint little town not too far from Ponyville. Anon would never have any reason to set foot in the place were it not for his best friend, Sunburst, asking him for a massive solid:

Keep his mother, Stellar Flare, preoccupied for a few days while he conducts research on the town's recently discovered magical properties.

Sunburst loves his mom, and they've worked through their communication issues before, but as head of the Sire's Hollow Development Committee, she would never approve of the tests he intends to run. So, Anon will act as a "distraction," allowing Sunburst to get done before she notices.

He does a better job than either of them were expecting.

Chapters (1)
E

Once again, Anon, Twilight and Rarity are all single on Hearts and Hooves Day.

They've learned to make the best of it.


A Hearts and Hands Week bonus story!

Chapters (1)
E

Ever since they met, Anon has acted strangely around Discord. He's used to this, of course. Being the "Lord of Chaos" means that most creatures prefer to keep a safe distance from him. And for good reason! Reformed though he may be, it'd be foolish to lower one's guard around him.

Perhaps Discord isn't as good at reading emotions as he thought.


Day #6 of Hearts and Hands Week.

Chapters (1)