Blah Blah Blah, Chaos
Discord blinks. It isn’t often that he, the Lord of Chaos, is left completely flabbergasted by someone else. He is supposed to be the unpredictable one. It takes a special kind of someone, a particularly insane action, a wholly unexpected turn of events to render him speechless.
Why, then, does Anon offering him a rose make him feel so confused?
“Er… what is this supposed to be, exactly?”
Anon, who is quite sweaty and red in the face, tries desperately to avoid looking Discord in the eyes, choosing to instead focus on the grass of Ponyville’s local park instead.
“I-it’s a Hearts and Hooves Day gift.”
“...You’re serious?”
“Yes?”
“...Hm.” Through the use of what could only be chaos magic, the rose’s stem begins to extend, the bulb being pushed through the air in all manner of twists and twirls like a particularly complex bendy straw before coming to a stop right in front of Discord’s face. He grabs the elongated stem, which then shrinks back to a normal size starting with the bit in Anon’s hands. “I suppose this is the part where I’m supposed to say ‘thank you.’”
“You don’t need to say it,” Anon mumbles. “I’m not expecting you to be flattered or anything, I just didn’t want to regret not giving you something.”
“What would there be to regret?!” Discord’s body begins to elongate much like the rose just did, slowly twisting downwards and surrounding Anon, but never actually touching him. He stops only when their faces are directly facing each other. “What do you have to gain from getting me something for this stupid holiday?!”
“...” Anon says nothing for a moment, though his face grows even redder. When he does speak up, his voice is quiet, barely even a whisper. “I thought that’d be self-explanatory.”
“Why this out of the blue?!” In the blink of an eye, Discord turns blue. “You don’t even like me!”
If you were to ask literally anyone, they would agree. Anon and Discord aren’t known for getting along, much to the chagrin of Fluttershy. They met shortly after Discord’s “reformation” thanks to Anon’s friendship with Twilight. Moments after being introduced, Anon shook Discord’s paw, smiled, looked him dead in the eyes, and said “if you dare to lay a talon on my friends, I will make being turned to stone look merciful.”
Discord was, of course, not even remotely intimidated by the threat. Anon is about twice the height of an average pony and has a fair amount of endurance. Unfortunately, that is where his positives end. He has no magic, he isn’t strong, and most importantly, he couldn’t hold a candle to Discord were they to get into it.
However, telling him that would further upset Fluttershy, who immediately chewed Anon out for making assumptions about Discord. So, they bickered every so often, with Anon insisting he was “keeping an eye on him.” Although Anon would be somewhat vindicated when Discord relapsed during Tirek’s rise to power, he never gave Discord any worse than a stern talking to (and a “talking to” he most certainly gave that day).
After that, Discord noticed something strange about Anon. They started to converse more and more frequently, and Anon seemed less distrustful as time went on. Discord simply interpreted this as a natural result of them being in close proximity more often than before thanks to their mutual friends.
Then, out of the blue, Anon started to grow distant once more. His words were colder, his demeanor more hesitant. He snapped at Discord more often, and while this gave him a good laugh more often than not, it still confused him (and led to more bickering). Fluttershy would typically be required to break up the flushed, angry Anon and the laughing, amused Discord.
And now he’s trying to give Discord a rose? For Hearts and Hooves Day?
“Th-that’s not true,” Anon mumbles, his eyes darting every which way.
“Look, I will admit,” Discord starts as he uncoils around Anon and shrugs four sets of shoulders that he now has for some reason, “that I am new to this whole ‘friendship’ thing.” He makes air quotes with his talons while speaking. “But even I know when someone doesn’t want to be around me!”
“I do want to be around you.” Anon’s voice is a bit louder and a bit clearer, but still not exactly confident. “I… I want that a lot, actually.”
“Well.” Discord closes his eyes and sticks his nose to the air, then his head begins to stretch higher and higher as he continues to talk. “You sure don’t act like it. I much prefer it when my enemies are open about not liking me. It’s much more fun that way, you know.”
“I was nervous, okay?!” Anon finally shouts, causing Discord’s neck to suddenly stop stretching. He looks down a couple dozen feet towards Anon, who continues to stare at the floor. “You’re just… you’re really cool, and when I’m around you, I feel like… not that.”
“Cool?” Discord questions as icicles suddenly form along his brow and horns. Slowly, his neck shortens to a normal length, allowing him to get a better look at his human friend, who is still staring at the grass below. “I’ve been called many things, but ‘cool’ is not one of them. I don’t particularly appreciate lies, and believe me,” he growls as a confused frustration becomes more clear on his face, “as a pathological liar, I know when I’m being lied to.”
“Then you should know that I’m telling the truth.” Anon suddenly looks up, locking eyes with Discord as his expression hardens. His cheeks are still red, but his eyes are now much clearer and more determined. “You don’t have to be my special somebody or whatever, anyway. Just… just forget it.”
Anon clicks his tongue and turns around, causing Discord to teleport in front of him with a snap of his talons.
“You’re sending me a lot of mixed messages, you know,” Discord says as two more Discords appear on either side of him and speak in unison. “You like me? You think I’m cool? You think I’m just going to accept this rose while you stomp away like that?”
Anon glances at Discord’s paw, noticing that he’s kept the rose in pristine condition even through his near non-stop shapeshifting and reality bending.
“You don’t have to. I just said that.”
“But, again, what do you hope to gain from me accepting it? Power?” All six of the Discords’ arms puff up with muscle. “Money?” His eyes turn to the Equestrian symbol for bits. “Or is it some kind of prank?” The three Discords suddenly twirl around each other, morphing together and forming one complete Discord once more. “...Actually, that option sounds the most believable.”
“For the love of Celestia, I am ATTRACTED to you, Discord!”
Discord freezes. Physically this time, as opposed to with icicles. This is the second time now that he’s been left speechless today.
“...You wanna run that by me again?”
“You’re the worst,” Anon mumbles before locking eyes with Discord once more. “I like you a lot, Discord. I… I didn’t know how to express that. You’re not exactly easy to approach…” Anon begins to trail off, but he slaps his cheeks in an effort to regain his resolve. “I consider you a dear friend, but I’d like for you to maybe be more than that.” Anon’s voice cracks multiple times, but he still manages to squeak out his intentions. “I-if you want.”
Yet again, Discord blinks. He’s having déjà vu. Apparently, his first instinct was correct.
And that only makes him more confused.
“...Well.” Discord clears his throat. Quite literally, as he takes his head off, sticks a mop down his neck, and removes several layers of unidentifiable goop before haphazardly scattering it along the grass and placing his head back where it belongs. “It’s quite presumptuous of you to assume that the Lord of Chaos himself would accept your proposition.”
“Yeah, I figured as much.”
Anon turns around again, but rather than Discord appearing in front of him, he simply feels a bird-like hand grab his shoulder and stop him in his tracks. He doesn’t look back.
“But the Lord of Chaos wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t do the unexpected every now and then.”
Anon’s eyes go wide, and he feels his heart skip a beat.
“D-does that mean you’ll–”
“Oh, goodness,” Discord chuckles as he removes his hand and floats into Anon’s peripheral vision while laying on his side in midair, “take me out to dinner first or something.”
“I-I mean… it is Hearts and Hooves Day. I can probably get us a last-minute reservation somewhere if I call up Pinkie.”
“That was supposed to be a joke.” Discord’s expression droops (literally). “You’re going to have to get better at recognizing those if this is going to work out.”
“You’re really giving me a shot?”
“Eh, why not?” In an uncharacteristic move, Discord looks away. Not even he is able to fully hide his increasingly flushed cheeks. “It might make for a nice change of pace. Besides, a free dinner is a free dinner.”
“Wait, so you weren’t joking?”
“Oh, I was! But now that you’ve offered, who am I to refuse?” Discord teleports directly in front of Anon again, now with two very large bags slumped over either shoulder. “Oh, but I simply must get ready before we go. Pick me up at five!”
“I–”
“Ta-ta!”
Discord snaps his talons one final time and disappears out of sight, just in time to leave Anon reaching out to the open air where he was just floating.
“I don’t know how to get to your dimension, though!”
After an awkward moment, Anon sighs. Slowly, his anxious, tired expression turns into a relieved smile. An incredulous laugh escapes him, and it takes him some time to compose himself enough to begin making his trek to Sugarcube Corner. If he’s gonna get that reservation, he’d better tell Pinkie as soon as possible. Just that thought alone is enough to get him laughing again. Finally, after all these months…
He managed to tell Discord how he feels.
There. It's done. I did it. I wrote the Anon/Discord fic. Never ask me for anything ever again.
(I'm kidding! 
)
As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!
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Aww omg, this may have come out four days after my birthday but it’s still a great present, even unintentionally 😄
attracted to discord huh, guess it not surprising with John de Lancie voice
I did not expect this of all things.
this has awoken something inside of me
It was cute and kinda fun!
A Discord and Anon fic? And Anon is acting like a tsundere? Bloody hell, I did not know I needed this… On top of that, this had me smiling the whole way through, because it just works! Gah, so good!
M/M ships seem to get the most cringe reactions on this site but this story is at least halfway believable, and it's cute in an awkward way.
I wouldn't mind seeing an Anonamiss/Discord Ship.
Maybe???
11823403
Dont like it dont read it.
11823463
Meh, somehow my comment has almost as many downvotes as the story. I don't care. Runic is a shipping master. Almost everything he writes is prefect. But I've never seen him do a female Anon.
11823468
I thought you wrote "M/M ships are the cringiest thing on the site." Sorry about that, thats my bad-
11823475
It's okay. I actually wrote an entry for the M/M ship contest last year. It didn't do well but I was still learning how to be a better writer. This story was better than what I wrote.
wipes a stray tear
When I asked you to make an Anoncord fic several (many?) months ago, I never expected for you to actually follow through with such request. I don't know about others who might've asked that too, but an Anoncord-shaped hole in my heart had been filled today. It feels so precious and right! Thank you.
...
Now, we must take it a step further beyond. We can't stop on what we achieved. 'Anon x Smooze' should be the next one. They will mix like water and slime, I guarantee
11823238
💀
amazing fic omg, such a unique ship too
Cute
njnj
11823550
This has the potential go wrong in all sorts of horribly graphic and tentacle-y ways.
11823805
Enticing, right?
Like being submerged into a viscous, warm bath full of snot...
Sequel?
I liked it, I didn't expect to be enjoying an Anon fanfic with Discord, but it was something nice. It also makes it a little different than what I usually see on fimfiction.
That's why I give it four stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐
A good oneshot
Was a good read. Great work.
Finally, a fic that abides by one of the most vital and basic facts about Anon. A fact that most stories forget.
Anon is a faggot.
Good read.
Thanks for the birthday present)))
I'm not a fan of gayness and the like, but love has no limits and barriers.
story 5/10
Not for me but have a like anyway.
11823816
Anonocord will always be the best ship.
11823238
“Hello gay couples, random stranger here, sorry but I just don’t agree with you guys having the right to love who you choose or the fact your sexuality exists in the first place. lol. But I do find reading about it kind of hot, just keep it to a fantasy cause real life love is a no no in my books. Sorry uwu.”
Girl you are a complete 🤡
11823390
That's not a tsundere.
A tsundere is "I - I don't even like you! Baka!" Anon is more like, "I - I know you probably don't like me and you can ignore everything I'm telling you here." Tsunderes play hard to get because they're ashamed of their feelings. Anon here isn't ashamed of his feelings, he's embarrassed because he feels unworthy of Discord's affection and he expects to be rejected. Don't remember what kind of dere that is, but it's not tsun.
(BTW, dere means sweet and tsun means tough, that's where the term comes from. We also have deredere which is Fluttershy, kuudere which is "cool but sweet" and is like one of those characters who's mostly aloof and cold but turns out to be loving, and yandere who seems sweet but is crazy.)
11823238
You are not a clown, you are a entire circus
Did you know that salary of a clown is 50.000$ and you are doing it for free
Unfortunate that there is a homophobic comment in here
It is very interesting to see how such drastically similar personalities match up. Especially a Discord and
our 4chan unhingedAnon.I got a suggestion for a ship if you feel like you are running out: Anon x Anon Mare. Squaring Anons is like having the rawest, unfiltered humanity being subjected to ponykind. Even Discord is not immune to this contentious bomb.
I will not suggest the Filly Anon because that is pretty sus. Unless it is a middle aged Anon turned filly joke, which is still kinda sus.
11824792
Don't make homophobic comments if you don't want to be called a homophobe, its really not that hard.
*cough* BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD * Tis the right chaos
*blinks*
*blinks again*
I.....
This had gone to 0 of my expectations and instead was better than I thought it was going to be while also going 100% in a direction I did not expect....it was like hunting a deer then the deer turned into a drill and dug underground while I was lining up a shot...that's actually how I feel rn btw...just the shear what the hek just happened feeling...but it feels good to so....I don't know what I'm feeling.