Mwah Mwah Mwah!
You remember the conversation like it was yesterday. You had just gotten home from your wedding reception (an incredibly grand affair) with your newly wedded wife, Pinkie Pie, by your side. You were absolutely exhausted, and while Pinkie still happily skipped along with a spring in her step that was even more energetic than usual from her, you saw a very, very faint outline around her eyes.
In other words, she was absolutely exhausted, running only on excitement-fueled adrenaline.
As the two of you entered your shared home, Pinkie ran in front of you with a mixture of passion and concern on her face.
“Nonny?”
“Pinkie.” Your response was nonchalant as you closed the door behind you.
“I have a super-duper important question. I mean, I probably should have asked you this before we got married, but I was just so excited that I kept forgetting.”
“Shoot,” you said with a tired smile.
“Are you okay with kisses?”
“...Kisses?” Your amused smile only grew. “Pinkie, we’ve kissed before. Dozens of times, in fact. Heck, we’ve kissed, like, twenty times today alone. Of course I’m okay with kisses.”
“No no, I don’t mean normal kisses. I mean like… a lot of kisses.”
“Er… what’s the difference?”
“This is a kiss.” Pinkie hopped up into the air and placed a smooch right on your nose, drawing a chuckle out of you. “And these are KISSES.”
You blinked. For a second, it looked as if Pinkie disappeared. However, the next thing you knew, you were being pelted with quick, tiny pecks all over the place. Basically anywhere with exposed skin was fair game, but she was clearly targeting your face more than anything. Ironically, she never once touched your lips. She moved so quickly, you could barely track her as she practically flew through the air around you and continued her assault of smooches.
Then, without warning, she stopped right in front of you.
“You know, like that.”
“...Hehe. Pinkie, I couldn’t even see you doing that.”
“But you FELT it, riiiiiiiiight~?”
“Well, yeah, of course I did.” You scratched the back of your head. “I can’t say I didn’t like it.”
“So–”
“Yeah, I’m cool with… ‘a lot of kisses.’”
“Yay!”
Before you could respond to her excitement, she disappeared yet again as you were pelted with another barrage. Even through the whirlwind of love assaulting your senses, you heard her continue to speak.
“I’ve always wanted to do this and it’s been super hard to keep it in but this is only something you can do to someone you really really love and they have to be okay with it and my sisters aren’t and it made Gummy lose his appetite so I’ve never had the opportunity to really let loose and I’m glad you’re letting me do it!” The assault suddenly ceased as you felt Pinkie wrap herself around your chest in a tight hug, which you gratefully returned. “I love you so much!”
“I love you too, Pinkie.”
And despite remembering that conversation like it was yesterday, it was, in fact, not yesterday.
It was two days ago.
Now, as you finish your workday as Mayor Mare’s accountant, you wonder what it is that you really signed up for. You’ve barely made it two steps out of Ponyville Town Hall, and already you feel a familiar sensation.
Kisses. Dozens upon dozens of kisses. Quick at first, but soon slowing down as your wife lingers a bit longer on your cheeks.
“Hiya, Nonny! Or should I say… Hubby~~~~~~~~~~~~~!”
“That is way too many tildes.”
“How was your day?”
“Not too shabby,” you respond as you walk down the road. You fold your right arm to catch the hanging Pinkie, holding your comparatively small wife with one arm as you make your way home. “Finally managed to close the Miller account.”
“You’ve been trying to do that for months!” Pinkie’s words are interrupted by another smooch being placed on your cheeks between each word.
“Y-yeah…” Although the situation is weird, you can’t help but smile anyway. You love this mare so darn much. “What about you?”
“My day was super-dee-duper!”
“You said that yesterday.”
“I know! I mean, my days are usually super-duper, but now I get to go home with YOU after work! What could be better than that?!”
You let out a laugh as you use your free hand to stroke the back of her poofy mane. The two of you are getting a few looks, but frankly, you don’t really care.
“Don’t worry,” you say warmly as she coos at your touch. “I feel the same.”
As you cross through your front door and enter your home, the barrage of kisses resumes in full force.
“You really like kissing me, don’t you?”
“It’s a love language!”
“So it seems.”
“You can tell me to stop any time, you know! I won’t be mad.”
“Nah, you’re good.”
If it makes her happy, it makes you happy.
And this really makes her happy.
You sit on your sofa, quietly reading a book that has you completely engrossed.
“Whatcha got there, Nonny?”
Pinkie looks at you with bright, inquisitive eyes as she places herself in your lap and lays her head on your chest, shuffling to look up at you beneath your book.
“Purple Is Your Color, it’s called. It’s really engaging. I haven’t been able to put it down since I started.”
“W-well, do you think–”
You chuckle.
“Go ahead.”
She doesn’t respond, choosing instead to immediately begin planting smooches everywhere she can reach. In an effort to tease her and keep it from getting too out of hand, you clamp your elbows gently on either side of her, holding her still against your chest. Everything else aside, she’s incredibly soft and comfortable to hug.
You should probably get used to this.
Yeah, you really had to get used to it. It’s been a few weeks now, and Pinkie’s blink-and-you-miss-it smooch attacks have become commonplace. After work, while relaxing at home, both before and after dinner, before bed, after waking up, walking from one place to another, any time you’ve settled down somewhere, any time you haven’t settled down somewhere… basically, so long as you’re available, you’re free game for her ever-unfulfilled need for kisses.
You don’t have the heart to tell her to stop. Yes, it’s cute. Yes, it makes you feel loved. And yes, it’s easy to not pay too much attention to it. But even you have to admit…
Sometimes, it’s a bit much.
Such as right now, while you lie in bed desperately wanting to get some sleep. You had to attend a big conference with some of the wealthier families in central Equestria earlier today. Politics and all that. While you don’t have a problem with that per se, there can be no doubt that it’s extremely taxing both mentally and physically.
Hey, keeping your back straight for that long is hard!
However, even though you haven’t felt fatigue this strong in ages, sleep evades you. Having a hyperactive pink pony wife smothering you with kisses will do that to you. Something something “watching someone else drown while you’re dying of thirst” and whatnot.
“Hey, Nonny?”
“Hm?”
Pinkie suddenly stops to place herself right on top of you. She’s got mass in all the right places, but she’s still extremely light. She falls asleep right on top of you all the time, and you don’t really mind. If anything, it’s a new form of comfort for you.
However, the concern in her eyes makes your heart drop.
“What is it, Pinkie?”
“Are you okay? Are my kisses getting annoying?”
“N-no, Pinkie. You’re totally fine!”
You give her a smile, but her concern only grows. She’s a verifiable expert at reading others. You, specifically, are like an open book to her. She knows you’re not telling the whole truth, and she doesn't have to say a word to get that out of you.
You don’t have the heart to lie to that face.
“Fine,” you sigh. “Look, Pinkie. I’m not annoyed. It’s something you love doing, and frankly, I love it when you do it, too.” You poke her in the cheek while giving her a warm smile. “It reminds me that you care. That said, sometimes it’s a little much.” Your eyes glance to the side. “Like when I’m trying to sleep.”
“...Oh.” Pinkie seems to deflate, her eyes becoming downcast and her usually poofy mane losing just a bit of its poofiness. You’ve seen her worse than this, but her disappointment couldn’t be any more obvious. “O-okay. Thank you for telling me. I’ll just, uh…”
She starts to climb off of you, but before she can, you wrap an arm around her. She blinks, looking at you with confusion.
“One more time before I fall asleep. Make it count.”
She hesitates for a moment before a gentle smile comes to her face. She’s known for her smile, but for most ponies, a “Pinkie Pie smile” is one of excitement. It’s a smile that brightens your day and makes you think that fun is about to be had.
For you? This is a Pinkie Pie smile. It’s quiet. Subdued. Warm. It doesn’t make you feel like you’re going to have a great day, but it does make your heart feel full. That smile alone makes you proud to have married her.
With the color and life returning to her mane, she takes a deep breath. After a brief pause, she moves faster than the eye can see. No longer is your wife, Pinkamena Diane Pie, lying on your chest. Instead, a pink whirlwind of smooches and love assaults your senses. Your face, your chest, your arms, everything is fair game. You can barely process the soft, shockingly gentle lips grazing your body over and over again.
All you can really do is smile.
…Or is it?
Just as it seems as though she’s slowing down, you move with surprising speed as well. Pinkie’s eyes go wide as she finds herself caught, your hands on both of her cheeks bringing her to a sudden stop. She locks eyes with you for just a moment before you pull her inwards, causing a quiet “eep!” to escape her just before you press your lips against her own.
It’s far from the first time you’ve kissed before, but you’ve never given one back in the midst of her kiss barrages. The fact that you not only interrupted her, but also returned the sentiment tenfold in a single strike is enough to send shivers down her spine.
Doubly so when a tongue slips into her mouth.
You’re not quite sure how long you stayed connected with her. Realistically, it was probably a few minutes, but when you’re with her, time always seems to fly. Eventually, however, you’re forced to part, both of you gasping for air as a thin trail of saliva keeps you connected.
Thanks to your bold, unexpected actions, you’ve left Pinkie completely speechless.
“Sorry, I forgot to ask,” you chuckle. “Are you okay with my kisses?”
She stares at you with wide eyes for a moment, the only action she’s able to take being a single blink. Then, without warning, she collapses on top of you, wrapping her arms around you and burying her face in your neck.
“Abso-posi-lutely,” she whispers.
With a contented smile on your face, you wrap one arm around her torso and place the other on the back of her head before gently stroking her soft, beautiful mane. It doesn’t take long until the excitable, hyperactive party pony is peacefully taken by sleep. You continue to stroke that mane of hers until you, too, feel yourself finally lose your grip on consciousness
…Yeah. You could get used to this.