Applejack, while surveying the border between Sweet Apple Acres and the Everfree forest, stumbles across a perfectly ordinary, garden-variety talking snake. In an apple tree. The mane six, of course, decide to be neighborly.

What's the worst that could happen?

A story with religious themes, funny and thoughtful in equal turns, and without any super-depressing grim-dark or blatant preaching. It was conceived, written and edited in just three days, and won first place in the "Deal with the Devil" Writeoff competition. You can find the original (unedited) version, along with plenty of other great entries, right here. It's been awhile, but be sure to check them out if you haven't already!

Bon Bon's voice is funny, and that's about all that anypony who meets her notices, as her marefriend Lyra soon steals the spotlight with her explosive personality, strange obsessions, and curious beliefs. And why not? Bon Bon is, after all, a perfectly ordinary, boring pony in every way but two: her voice, and the carefully kept secret that she isn't really a pony.

(Edit:) Now with an annotated version, courtesy of the incomparable Shoggoth Lord!

The business of government never stops, and paperwork never rests, even on Hearthwarming. But this particular Hearthwarming, Cabinet Secretary and tea enthusiast Dotted Line plans to do his level best to see it, at least, take a break. His ponies need to go home to their families, and he, well, he has plans this Hearthwarming.

Apple Bloom wants to see her parents, the Cutie Mark Crusaders want their cutie marks, so they do the the only logical thing and try to raise the dead.

Can these three amateur necromancers pull it off without bringing back something twisted and wrong or a horde of the undead?

Tagged 'Sex' for a bumper crop of farm innuendos.

To Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia, it is a simple surprise visit to Canterlot. To the ponies of the Equestrian Civil Service, it is twenty-four hours of chaos, politics, weaponized dessert, politics, underhooved manipulation of media, politics, and things batrachian and tentacular. Who said bureaucracy isn't exciting?

A day following his horrific attack on both Canterlot and Ponyville, Tirek returns to lay claim on what remains. Including the dead.

Because they're all dead, right? Like, seriously, there's no way they could've survived that, right?

Right?

Chrysalis kidnaps Rainbow Dash and holds her for ransom.

This same Rainbow Dash also happens to be engaged to the immensely powerful Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Chrysalis is not a very smart changeling.

Fillydelphia! City of a thousand glittering opportunities! Come to Fillydelphia! Get your mane cut! Divorce your spouse! Buy a chariot! Rent a condo! Fillydelphia! The city that glows like the gin blossoms on its mayor’s face!

Trixie and Gilda have been in Fillydelphia for some time, and it’s almost, but not quite, to their taste. There’s no good work — at least, no good work with monthly paychecks, annual performance reviews and a promotion track that doesn’t involve murder — for a travelling illusionist and an uncertified bouncer, so to cover the rent they’ve had to resort to bad work.

Well, not bad bad work. And certainly not that sort of bad work. The hours are good, the pay is more than adequate, and the people they meet are interesting.

They cater to a certain clientele, ponies who know it’s not just what you have in life that makes you happy, but what you don’t have. Like vengeful rivals. Or snitches. Or nosy detectives.

Or dead bodies.

When that is the particular problem, Gilda and Trixie get a call. For a reasonable price and a good reference, they’ll make your problem disappear...

For years, Twilight Sparkle and Queen Chrysalis have been at each other's throats. Both have experienced victory over the other, and both have experienced defeat. Out of all the creatures in Equestria, none despise each other the way the pony Princess and changeling Queen do. They seemed destined to remain locked in battle forever, or at least until one is finally dead at the hooves of the other. The cruel insults, the vicious loathing, and the powerful spells that have passed back and forth between them at each meeting have become the stuff of legend.

Imagine Twilight's surprise when she finds out changelings consider this dating.

And now they're married.

***

Sequel: Pony Courtship Rituals

***

Some beautiful fanart of the end of chapter three was done by Dmann892; you can see it here.

More awesome fanart, this time from chapter one.

Now with a TvTropes page (obligatory TvTropes warning goes here).

If you want a Russian translation, you can find it here.

There is now a reading of the story on Youtube, which starts here.

Maud and Boulder share a strong bond. But why...? Boulder is just a rock, right?

Written for my amazing friend Striving Scholar for winning first place in my very first Snippets Contest!