Footnotes:
[1] He was, after all, a mere corporal. Full control of the autonomous nervous system isn't attained until the rank of sergeant, just after you gain the ability to sleep with your eyes open, but just before you learn to speak without moving any part of your face.
[2] A fool's errand even when the benighted and spoiled little foal mistakenly thrust into the body of a full-grown unicorn was trying to behave. These days Spinning Top, bless her, had an entire office just for dealing with him.
[3] Musicians can be so difficult to work with.
[4] Chiefly, they were unprintable.
[5] Or so that they may never be found again. It is amazing how many hare-brained schemes by eager cabinet ministers end up with the files 'lost', the transcripts 'mislaid' and the copies 'tragically flung into the moat and set on fire'.
[6] They didn't really have a proper name. One reporter dubbed them the Shadow Council which was preposterous, entirely too dramatic and cast a blameless group of selfless public servants in an unfairly negative light. Or so Spinning wrote in the relevant press statement. The reporter, incidentally, was reassigned just two days after penning the article. To report on the weather in the San Palomino desert. This gave him a good deal of time to ponder his situation. The words 'sunny' and 'hot' are, after all, quite easy to spell.
[7] The rooms were named by the Princess who was, in that century, in something of a puckish mood. Other rooms include the 'Salon of Desperate Yellows' and the 'Irritatingly Long Gallery'. Luckily for school tour guides in the subsequent centuries, the name "Hall of Phallic Pillars" was vetoed, with as much tact as possible, by the then Cabinet Secretary. Sadly this act of heroism remained unrecorded by pony history.
[8] A number of ponies would take one good look at his scruffy mane and dispute the point.
[9] A place such as this did not employ 'bouncers'. Perish the thought. However, sufficiently annoyed, the magnificently liveried guardsponies would demonstrate a facility with bouncing, and, indeed, splatting, that'd be the envy of any salt-lick on the wrong side of the tracks.
[10] Well, more magical, anyway.
Acknowledgements, special thanks, and image credits
This story has been pre-read by Bad Horse, a noted scholar of pony words and the author of a great many lovely stories, and Dagger Tongue who is the proud co-author of On Wings of Change. A little bird tells me that he's also going to write a story of his own, so do be on the lookout for that. Varanus, who I feel needs no introduction, was also of great help with certain grammatical problems and, also, caught that I had forgotten my own character's name at one point.
Bad Horse's profile.
Dagger Tongue's profile.
On Wings of Change
Varanus' profile
The cover image is by the inestimable KP-ShadowSquirrel who has kindly agreed to let me use it here. The original image can be found on the artist's DA profile, or by following the link below.
KP-ShadowSquirrel's DA profile.
Original image..
I hope you enjoy the story, and thank you for reading!