Trigger warnings: no sex, brief raunchiness, consent is not one of the reasons
(One of these days I'll figure out how to write consent.)

Everyone dreaded when Pinkie Pie was "it" in Truth or Dare. Already much clothing had been lost. And there were few secrets Pinkie Pie didn't know about the girls now.

Only one had yet to be broken.

"Truth… or dare?" Pinkie Pie said, menacingly.

"Truth," Sunset Shimmer replied.

Pinkie Pie took a breath, and then said the most embarrassing and raunchy question she could think of.

"Do you wanna screw a horse?"

What happened next would change all of their lives forever.

On the last day of school before summer vacation, Cheerilee informs her students that she's going to pursue her doctorate in Fillydelphia, and won't be returning as their teacher in the fall. Her friends and students alike spend her last night in Ponyville bidding farewell and showing their appreciation for her, each in their own unique way.

But one student, in particular, has a hard time coping.

Originally written for the Writeoff Association's July 2016 prompt* and published under the title Bonitatem Doce Me, this story has been revised, rewritten, and expanded from its previous version. Featured on EqD on 8/9/16. Also featured in the Royale Canteloupe Liberty.

*which it won!

Twilight attempts to lose her virginity at a party during her college years.

The keyword being 'attempts'.

An entry into FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns contest.

Ever wondered what Sunset does for a job? Mechanic, maybe? Computer analyst, perhaps? How about a waitress at a sushi bar?

Wait... what was that last one?

Silly little thing I came up with after the reveal of the "Sunset Sushi" Mini (which is utterly adorable!}

When a rogue group of Changelings threatens Canterlot, it's up to Princess Celestia Donald J. Trump to defeat them!

Can the God-Emperor save the day? Or will the bad hombres be his undoing?

Edited By James Fire.

A satirical piece.

I have lived my entire life among the ice at the top of the world with my pod. I knew little of the world outside of the ways of We of the Sea, and as a filly, that suited me just fine. But one day, the steel whales came, and on their backs, they carried creatures not unlike myself, yet wholly different. For while I swam in the sea, they walked on the land and flew through the air. Yet they reminded me of my kind, so curious, so tragic, and so infinitely precious. Where they did not understand, they sought to learn with a foolish stubbornness. Where they wandered far from home, they extended their hooves in friendship.

Where they waged their wars, they fought with a violent savagery that was frightening to me.

As I held a dear friend close, the breath fleeing from his body, I only wanted to know one thing.

Why?

Cover art and inspiration by JhonnyRebel. Pre-reading provided by djthomp.

Featured on Equestria Daily!
And an awesome reading by Illya Leonov!
Another awesome reading by Scribbler!

Russian translation of this story can be found here, courtesy of NovemberDragon!

Pinkie Pie preemptively apologizes to Twilight: she's going to ruin their friendship.

Twilight agrees.

Pinkie suits her better as a girlfriend anyway.

When the Royal Wedding scatters defeated changelings all over Equestria, a member of the hive winds up being captured in Ponyville, tied up, stunned, repeatedly shot by a cannon, and held against his will.

The truly frightening part is he’s starting to like it.

Thank you to my twisted editors: Tek, Seether00, GameKnut, Cerulean Blue and Peter
The picture Pinkie Pie uses Party Canon is from Atmospark at DeviantArt

This story is listed as comedy⁽*⁾ because the author has an odd sense of humor. No changelings were harmed⁽¹⁾ during the production of this story, despite what the newspapers printed or the ongoing lawsuit from the ESPCA⁽²⁾. The management would like to remind all readers to spay and neuter your pets. Unless your pet is a changeling, in which case…

(*) Dark humor, to be exact. If you are someone who finds pleasure in the misfortune of others, enjoys watching the occasional inept chainsaw juggler or cheers during a NASCAR crash, welcome home. Also, get help.

(1) Excluding blunt trauma, thermal impingement, chemical exposure, radiation, thaumaturgic infusions, and confetti ingestion. All characters represented, including changelings, are the exclusive property of Hasbro, no matter what they may shout at you from between the bars of their cell. Any violence or pain inflicted on the changeling in this story was simulated on a stunt changeling with special effects and mirrors. Except for the cannon. There is no truth to the rumor that Queen Chrysalis provided the stunt changelings from a supply of disobedient changelings in her dungeon⁽³⁾.

(2) Equestrian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Arthropods

(3) The Changeling Kingdom does not have dungeons. They have Call Centers. It explains a lot, actually.

Here is a link to some appropriate background music to listen to while reading: Piotr Tchaikovneigh’s 1812 Overture

Additional Note: This story is tagged Sex because it has the occasional reference to… well, sex. There are no explicit references, but there are things.

Being a Princess is exhausting. Royally exhausting. Everyday, it feels like Twilight wanted nothing more than to get away from the world.

Not like doing so was hard. In fact, she made visits to the human world whenever she could to visit her boyfriend of a few years, Flash Sentry; he was one of the few things that kept her sane.

Yet, deep down, she knows it can't go on forever. Can she really break both of their hearts for the sake of her status as a princess?

Contains Flashlight shipping, meaning sappy romantic dorks. You've been warned.

Both Princess Celestia and Luna have come to the conclusion that Twilight Sparkle is ready for the next step in her alicorn training.

And all she has to do is turn around.

And take a deep breath.