What if the villains were allowed to win without a fight? Would all of their plans bear them the fruits they so desired?
Probably not, especially when their royal adviser is Twilight Sparkle.

A collection of (continuous) One-shots in which our heroes don't have any epic fights with villains, and simply allow the power of logic to crush all of the hopes and wishes of the would-be rulers of Equestria.

Currently up: Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra (bonus chapter - the fight is so not-epic it happens off screen).

For years, Twilight Sparkle and Queen Chrysalis have been at each other's throats. Both have experienced victory over the other, and both have experienced defeat. Out of all the creatures in Equestria, none despise each other the way the pony Princess and changeling Queen do. They seemed destined to remain locked in battle forever, or at least until one is finally dead at the hooves of the other. The cruel insults, the vicious loathing, and the powerful spells that have passed back and forth between them at each meeting have become the stuff of legend.

Imagine Twilight's surprise when she finds out changelings consider this dating.

And now they're married.

***

Sequel: Pony Courtship Rituals

***

Some beautiful fanart of the end of chapter three was done by Dmann892; you can see it here.

More awesome fanart, this time from chapter one.

Now with a TvTropes page (obligatory TvTropes warning goes here).

If you want a Russian translation, you can find it here.

There is now a reading of the story on Youtube, which starts here.

Diamond Tiara has a secret. She likes Anime. Loves it, even. But nopony can find out. Not her parents, or her friend, or her classmates... Nopony! They'd never understand! They'd laugh at her, call her names, tell her *gasp* They would say she's uncool!

Well, it can't be that hard to keep such a secret from everypony in Ponyville, can it?

This story is a sequel to Iron Hearts: Book 4 - Emerald Dawn

An MLP/Warhammer 40K crossover, part 5.

With their plan established and put into motion, the 38th Company begins the long and unwieldy task of planetary defense, fueling the arcane energies that may yet unsteady the Empyrean and spare their fleet from an enemy without number or mercy. The inhabitants of Centaur III and even the abandoned aggressors help where they are able, but as their foes grow in number and destruction spreads across the planet, the war for the Centaur system has become a bloody race against time.
All the while, the grim culture of the Chaos marauders continues to mingle with the enlightened benevolence of their equine allies. Tempers fray and allegiances blur. But the die has been cast: Equestria and the Company will survive together, or be snuffed out together.
And even should they succeed, what future awaits these unlikeliest of friends?
For there is no peace among the stars. Only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.

ALL THE EXPLOSIONS. JUST, ALL OF THEM.

(Cover art by Ahrimatt)
(This series now has its own TVtropes page!)
(This series is a contestant in the Tournament of Canterlot, a charity event to raise money for Syrian refugees! Go here for details and donations!)

This story is a sequel to Iron Hearts: Book 1 - Planetfall

An MLP/Warhammer 40K Crossover, part 2.

Celestia has handed down her order. The Iron Warriors must be defeated and driven from the planet, lest the corrosive grip of Chaos infect their world. With great reluctance, Twilight and Company depart for the Iron Warriors fortress-factory in order to confront the Chaos Warsmith. However, in this mission it is not the might of the enemy that will be their greatest challenge, but their own burgeoning friendships with the admittedly less-than-saintly members of the 38th Company.
At least until the Iron Warriors actually consider them a threat. Then it's totally their military might that will prove to be their greatest challenge.
All the while, the Tau forces lick their wounds and plot their next move. They are far from defeated, and the Iron Warriors have little inkling as to the aliens' true purpose.

MORE EXPLOSIONS!!

(Dark humor warning; minor grimdark)
(Cover art by Nicholas Kay)
(This series now has its own TVtropes page!)
(This series is a contestant in the Tournament of Canterlot, a charity event to raise money for Syrian refugees! Go here for details and donations!)

An MLP/Warhammer 40K Crossover

The Iron Warriors 38th Company has landed in Equestria, entrenching themselves like a barbed hook. They hunt the aliens of the Tau Empire, intent on destruction and pillage.
A small squad is dispatched on a reconnaissance mission, only to find that there is intelligent life on this world besides the feuding space-farers.
Will these improbably adorable and friendly equine aliens turn the damned warriors of Chaos from their blood-soaked path, cleansing them of their dark legacy with the magic of friendship and harmony?

No.
No, that isn't happening.
EXPLOSIONS!!

(Dark humor warning; limited grimdark themes)
(Cover art by Nicholas Kay)
(This series now has its own TVtropes page!)
(This story is a contestant in the Tournament of Canterlot, a charity event to raise money for Syrian refugees! Go here for details and donations!)
(Featured on Equestria Daily 8/20/15 )

This story is a sequel to Iron Hearts: Book 3 - The Sept Lamman

An MLP/Warhammer 40K crossover, part 4.

The Tau threat has passed. The fleet that once thought to sweep aside the tainted pirates of the 38th Company has fled the system. The Lamman Sept is broken, demoralized, leaderless...
... And victorious.

With Lamman's plan put into motion, an alien horde hurtles through the Warp toward the Centaur system, its soldiers without number and thirsting for violence. Equestria's heroes must find a way to stop them, or the entire planet will be overrun with ease and its inhabitants butchered. While they could afford some pretense of neutrality and disinterest in the fight between the Iron Warriors and the Tau, now it is their world that lay in the crosshairs of the foe. Ponykind will need help to survive, and they look to the forces of Chaos for aid. But is there any hope to be found in the darkness?

EXPLOSIONS ARE IMMINENT.

(Dark humor warning; mild grimdark)
(Cover Art by Ahrimatt)
(This series now has its own TVtropes page!)
(This series is a contestant in the Tournament of Canterlot, a charity event to raise money for Syrian refugees! Go here for details and donations!)

This story is a sequel to Iron Hearts: Book 2 - Ferrous Dominus

An MLP/Warhammer 40K crossover, part 3.

The formal negotiations between Equestria and the Iron Warriors have failed. Yet peace and even cooperation between the harmonious ponies and the corrupted militants blooms in the dark corners of Canterlot and the open streets of Ferrous Dominus. The Elements of Harmony are safe, trade flourishes, and cautious meetings grow into lasting friendships as an unsteady calm descends upon both forces.
Even the Tau threat seems to have mysteriously vanished as the Iron Warriors refuse to assault their hideouts and risk springing the traps of the Fire Caste.
But the Tau have not vanished. The Lamman Sept of the Tau Empire, the Fire Caste's hidden dagger, have come to grips with the slumbering giant looming over their doorstep and have moved forward into the final phases of their plan. Fleets ply the void, hunters stalk the orchards, and in the depths of the badlands a strange device is rapidly assembled for purposes unknown.
The Tau alone know that time is running out, and more than just the fate of Centaur III hangs in the balance.

SIGNIFICANT POSSIBILITY OF EXPLOSIONS.

(Dark humor warning; minor grimdark)
(Cover art by Ahrimatt)
(This series now has its own TVtropes page!)
(This series is a contestant in the Tournament of Canterlot, a charity event to raise money for Syrian refugees! Go here for details and donations!)

Prince Blueblood thought the Grand Galloping Gala was over. He thought he could just go to sleep and put it behind him. He never expected to be reliving the same disaster of a day, over and over... and over.

TV tropes page here:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/TheBestNightEver

Thanks to all the people who wrote the page and all the people who gave me a little wakeup call and comment to become aware of that fact! You can't see it, but you guys put a real smile on my face tonight.

Also, recently, extra thanks to RD Dash for giving TBNE a thorough editing. I've updated the fic accordingly (7.11.12)

This story is a sequel to Best Hell Ever

Once upon a time, Twilight went to hell. It wasn’t that bad. It was pretty great, actually. It had a library! A big one. Like, bigger-than-the-universe big. But then Twilight went and got herself kicked out of hell, and now she’s depressed.

There’s only one logical solution: with Starlight’s reluctant help, Twilight is going to break into hell and invade its library. Oh, it’ll be tricky — trying to find one specific location in an infinite dimension tends to be a bit hard — but the infinite knowledge it’ll provide is too good to pass up. Twilight will find that library if it kills her (which, since this is hell, isn’t the worst thing ever in the grand scheme of things).

There is absolutely no way this can possibly go wrong.