Princess. The highest and most important title that can be given to a pony in Equestria. Here princesses are the final word in the country's leadership. Their decisions affect the lives of all who live within the borders of the nation. For the past year, the four rulers have gathered in the unassuming town of Ponyville for meetings of the highest secrecy and order.

If the ponies of Equestria knew what really happened behind these doors, they would probably switch to democracy.

It's an ordinary day in Ponyville, until Applejack says Twilight is purple. She should have known better.

Prereader: CoffeeBean

Para español: Aquí

Twilight Sparkle brings the plagues unto Canterlot when Celestia turns the others of the mane six to stone.

Hello, Equestria. My name is Princess Luna, and my sister is an idiot. The object of her idiocy – her faithful student, Twilight Sparkle – appears to share her stupidity. Luckily, I am here to lend them a helping hoof.

I can't really blame them, though. They're just so adorable when they're completely clueless.

100% Approved by Twilight's Library!

Twilight Sparkle has always loved Celestia—as a friend, and a mentor, and something else as well. And she finally, finally found the courage to admit those feelings.

Celestia turned her down as gently as she could. That's what she thought, anyway.

But the night is still young—and it's a night for being wrong.

[Rated T for suggestive sexual content. This story takes place between the Season 2 and 3 finales. Additionally, I wasn't able to find the artist who did the cover art, if anyone knows please drop me a line so I can credit them.]

Twilight always thought that being able to send the Princess her letters instantaneously through Spike's fire breath was the best thing in the world. Instant correspondence with her mentor and secret crush could never be a bad thing, right? Unfortunately, Twilight has a habit of writing her secrets down on flammable materials. Now her secret's out, so what's a panicky unicorn to do? Panic, obviously!

Twilight falls head over heels for a sandwich artist.

It's just unfortunate that the object of her affection seems to hate her for some reason.

Sex tag for saucy situations and innuendo.
Profanity tag for a healthy helping of swearing.
Romance tag for a love as empty as the calories at Subway.
Comedy tag for the joke that is my taste in music.
Art by yuck-banner.tumblr(dot)com (nsfw warning)
Under new management! Originally published while in exile on Feb 15th, 2020 on a defunct alt named Hoagie.

"Because I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and there’s not a single creature with wings I can think of who is exclusively attracted to the opposite sex.”

Now with a reading!

And another!

This story is a sequel to NOW YOU BUCKED UP.

When a new, strange kingdom of magic is discovered to the far west of Equestria, the Royal Sisters take an entourage and investigate. Which nearly sparks ANOTHER international incident.

Once again, they don't bring Twilight. And ONCE AGAIN, she's left to clean up the mess. Which involves yet another very long letter.

Twilight Sparkle gathers her friends after receiving a rather distressing letter from her mentor, Princess Celestia. She's not happy about the contents, at all.

It seems her friends all went on some magical adventure without her. And now they're all in a lot of trouble.

Sex tag and Teen rating for some crude humor.