Pinkie Pie has an existential crisis while painting her room. This self-parody is dedicated to Professor Piggy, who once told me that I could write a story about Pinkie watching paint dry and weave it into an incredible psychological journey. Let's see if he was right.

Featured on Equestria Daily.

Dramatic reading by MicTheMicrophoneZero.

Cover art by chaosdrop.

I always wanted to go to Equestria. When I got the chance, I took the deal without reading the fine print. To my surprise, I didn't arrive there as a pony, or even as a human. It seems I get to view this world from a different perspective than what I've imagined.

My name is Echo. I am a Diamond Dog.

-Edited by the one, the only, Nathan Traveler!
-(Cover by Jovial_Shake of fimfiction.net)
-Now featured on Equestriadaily.com!

The bustling city of Metropony is under siege by Luna and her villainous assistant Trixie's army of deadly Lunatrons! Can Lyra and Bon Bon's crimefighting prowess and vast supply of heavy munitions keep the city safe for yet another week? Find out in this exciting episode of... HARPFLANK AND SWEETS. Warning: Not suitable for under-5s or those of an unawesome disposition.

- Now with added side-story, by supersheep64! - Harpflank and Sweets: The Lost Episodes
- Now with more added side-story, by RTStephens! - Haprflank and Sweets: Season 1
- Now with further more added parody, by Cold in Gardez! - Harpflank and Sweets: A Very Special Episode
- Now with extra further more added parody monstrosity, by Blueshift! - Sweetflank and Harps
- Now with extra TVTropes!
- Featured on EqD, rated 6-Star, for what it's worth!
- Exclamation marks!

Twilight Sparkle may believe in Pinkie Pie's myriad abilities, but when an opportunity to study them from a perspective she never thought possible arises, how can she resist the chance at the understanding she's always truly wanted? More importantly, can Ponyville survive the trade-off necessary for this opportunity?

"Would you tell anypony if you knew the world was going to end, Twilight Sparkle?"

Princess Celestia tires of constantly being surrounded by decorum, deference, and formality, and decides to take a day off from being Princess. But visiting Ponyville incognito is harder than she expects. Will she be able to fit in and make friends without blowing her cover?

Twilight has issues with the new mare in town. Pinnacle is smarter, prettier, more connected and more talented than everyone combined. Why can't Twi love the gaudy newcomer with the contrived and complicated past? As the lone voice of dissent she finds the only possible solution; a sledgehammer.

Pinkie Pie wakes up with a hangover after having too much cider only to find that her cutie mark has been stolen! What's more, it seems that a mystery pony is holding it for ransom for forty cakes. Forty cakes! That's four tens and that's terrible. Desperate for revenge, Pinke has a plan to turn the ransom around on the thief.

This occurs in the same universe as my story Substitute Harmony; reading that is not necessary, but these characters have been through those events; I've taken steps to avoid outright spoiling of that one though. Like Substitute Harmony, it was edited by Florentine.

This is also a very loose parody of the 1996 Mel Gibson movie "Ransom" (and thus of the movie that was based on). And that's terrible.

It's marked as teen because there are adult things strongly hinted at in comedic fashion, but nothing worth checking the sex box for.

This occurs after season 2 episode 15 (The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000), while Cider season is still occuring.

Features Blinkie and Inkie, for which there are no checkboxes. Cover image by me; I'm no artist.
EDIT: They have boxes for them now!... but I got their personalities completely wrong. ... Okay Blinkie's isn't THAT far off from Limestone, But Inkie/Marble is a complete miss. Strangely, my Inkie/Marble acts like Maud, who didn't exist at the time of writing this.

A heated confrontation with Celestia over her portrayal as Nightmare Moon and her sister's authoritarianism leads Luna to search for answers about the past, unwittingly tangling Twilight and her friends into a cosmic struggle between order and liberty. The tragedy of the past bleeds into the present as the Royal Guard, led by the (in)famous Captain Braveheart, pursues the moon goddess as if the fate of the world depended on it. A tale dedicated to the history and government of Equestria, the psychology and political/moral philosophy of the characters, and especially that amorphous and mysterious force that so many seek yet so few gain: power. What is its nature, what drives us to pursue it and keep it? What does it mean to be a leader, a princess, or a goddess at that matter? These are but a few of the questions the characters must struggle with in order to restore harmony to Equestria. This story tries to bring an edge of realism to the political organization and history of Equestria. If you're seeking utopia or dystopia or extremes of any sort, it's not here. .

After failing to stop Nightmare Moon in the ancient castle of the pony sisters, Twilight Sparkle is left with a scar that will permanently change the rest of her natural born life. As Twilight recovers from her ordeal, she finds that she is left with a difficult choice. Either live her life as a lie or sacrifice her innocence to protect the ones she loves. The path before her is set and she must now walk it alone. The sands of time continues ever onward, with everyone already trapped in its muddy depths. The sun will rise and the sun will fall. Waiting for its call, Death awaits for all.

Tags, rating, and characters can change.

Art created by:
http://cuteskitty.deviantart.com (top)
http://ventious.deviantart.com (bottom)

I just put the two together