The Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog

by Rust


(10) Rolling Over

CHAPTER THE TENTH


ROLLING OVER

I absentmindedly scratched a bit of sawdust from my fur as I sat in the waiting room. A nearby magazine lay on a low, ugly table. Curious to gain more knowledge of Equestrian culture, I picked it up. Cosmarepolitan. And it was seven months old. I resisted the urge to laugh... then quickly flipped it open.

No judging. It's in the name of Science!

Wethoof was not large enough to have a proper hospital, but in light of its situation, it had expanded the local doctor's office into a small clinic. It was here where I waited to see Daring Do after a hard day's work.

Captain Tythus, who is quite possibly a bigger troll than Celestia herself, had explained nothing of his plan regarding the role Ginger Snap and I would play against the Hydras. Instead, he'd kicked me out to work on the gate, and taken Ginger with him to meet with the mayor.

The work itself was quite easy for me. My new body was much stronger than my old one, and I found myself lifting heavy piles of lumber to and fro around the work site with almost no effort. The repair crew already there had been rather hostile to me, shooting looks at me that ranged from fear to outright hatred. Luckily for me, the squad of guards I had been sent with reassured them that I would be no trouble. It seems that I'd made a better impression on them than I'd thought, or at least they would treat me with respect while I was in Tythus' good graces. I wouldn't have minded the work or the evil looks from the civilians so much, but one of my escorts from the first night, Popper, stood by and did nothing but watch me the whole time. This reminded me that while I was tolerated, I was not trusted.

We'd finished work at sunset. The gaping hole in the gate had been repaired quite a bit, and the forepony at the site had even given me a muttered word of thanks for speeding up the process significantly. The squad leader, a charcoal unicorn named Baritone, had granted me the rest of the day off, provided I had supervision. Baritone seemed to like me the best there, and had been one of the few ponies at the site who would actually approach me.

I'd then walked here, to the clinic, with Popper keeping pace alongside. He'd seen the damage I'd done while it was still smoking, and he constantly reminded me of his skepticism by remaining on edge, even now as we waited to be let in to Daring's room.

I glanced up from the magazine. He was watching me evenly from across the room, gently tapping his hoof on the chair. I gave him a smile. He winced, and his tapping became rather erratic.

Whoops. Bared my fangs at him.

"So... nice weather we're having?" I tried.

His eyes narrowed. "It's been raining all day."

I shrugged. "I like the rain."

He grunted and said nothing else. Discouraged, I looked around the waiting room again. Tacky wallpaper, a cheesy song playing from somewhere that suspiciously sounded like elevator music... yeah, I might as well have been on Earth.

I flipped over a few more pages in the magazine. A colorful article caught my attention. How to Please Your Stallion in 10 Exciting Ways! Whoa. They even had diagrams. Wait... what's this...

My eyes widened in horror as I saw number three.

The magazine made a loud smack as it hit the wall on the opposite side of the room. Popper jumped up out of his chair, eyes wide, tensed for action.

"What? What is it!?"

I pointed to the offending garbage on the floor and shuddered. "Number three."

He sighed, and returned to his chair, somewhat annoyed by the disturbance.

The awkward silence resumed. I clicked my tongue in boredom. Popper's ears flicked back to his head at the noise, then slowly adjusted themselves again. Interesting...

Click.

Again, the pegasi's ears twitched.

Click.

Popper shot me a look that said indicated restrained temper.

I returned his expression by giving him a small, friendly wave across the room, at which he scowled.

Click.

His eye twitched involuntarily. I resisted the urge to begin shaking with laughter. This was priceless!

Click.

Click.

Click.

Popper narrowed his eyes at me. "If you do that one more time, I swear I'm going to-"

Click.

"Seriously, knock that-"

Click.

"You're enjoying, this aren't you."

CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK!

The irritated pegasus slumped down into his chair and covered his ears with his wings. He punctuated his frustration with a barely concealed groan.

I knew when to stop. Everyone has a limit, and I'd no intention of really pissing him off. Even though he didn't trust me, that didn't mean I couldn't try and interact as if nothing were amiss. I twiddled my thumbs, and entertained myself with drawing pictures in the air. I was mid-way through a realistic representation of myself riding an armored Tyrannosaurus Rex, which was surfing though the stars on top of a giant rocket ship that was participating in a space battle against the Galactic Empire when I heard my name being called.

"Mr. Echo? Right this... Oh, my."

I turned to find a blindingly white mare standing in the entrance to the waiting room, looking at me with a confused expression on her face. I assumed she worked here as a nurse or something.

I stood up, easily towering over her. "Problem, miss?"

She looked completely flabbergasted. "I-I... Uh... You're..."

I activated my patented "Act Like A Gentleman" mode. "A Diamond Dog, madam? Ah, I'm only too aware of that, as well as the stigma it regrettably seems to bring. I only get reminded of that fact on a regular basis, you see. Now, I believe my adventurous companion, for whom I have gone to great lengths to instate into your care, is due for a visit. Would it be acceptable for my escort to wait here? I shan't be too long."


Vegeta, what's the scouter say about his sophistication level?

"I DO DECLARE, IT'S EXCEEDED NINE THOUSAAAAAAND!"

Indeed.


The mare stammered some more before finally just giving her head a simple shake, giving up any attempt at trying to rationalize the situation. "Right this way, please." I gave a simple two-finger salute to Popper, who looked rather relieved that I'd be out of his mane for a while. I ambled along at her side, arms clasped behind my back.

We passed through a newly constructed hallway, the tiled floor cool on my paws. I could smell the familiar scent of fresh paint. It was interesting to note how well these ponies adapted to change. A few weeks ago, this had been a regular village. But the mare trotting by my side seemed quite at ease, or at least as at ease as she could be in my presence.

"Nice weather we've been having."

She shot me a quizzical look, eyeing the floating characters with half-interest, half-wonder. "It's been raining all day."

"I like the rain. It's a peculiarity I've had for as long as I can remember. The worse the weather, the better I feel." And, due to the constant tropical drizzle, I was feeling rather chipper.

"That's... interesting?"

"Indeed it is, madame. Indeed it is." I whistled the tune from Singin' In the Rain as softly as I could.

Perhaps it's just a quirk of mine, but I'd always loved extreme weather. Serious thunderstorm? No problem! I'd be sitting on my front stoop with a bowl of popcorn, watching the lightning. Punishing blizzard? Bitch, please! I'd be making snow angles in the street while nobody dared drive. Gale-force winds? Excellent! I can try out my home-made wingsuit off the roof now!

I know. I'm weird like that.

We rounded a corner, passing underneath a flickering light. A few doors down on the left, the mare stopped and opened up a room, and waved me in. I made an elegant bow, before proceeding through.

There were no lights on; rather, the single occupant had elected to simply open up the shades and let in the ambient light from the overcast skies. Daring Do was sitting up in the bed, wearing a hospital gown for some reason. Why was she wearing that? Didn't ponies usually go around in the buff anyway?

Daring immediately perked up from where she'd been looking out of the window, her smile lit up the room quite a bit.

"Well hey there, Fuzzball! Heard you got yourself into a bit of trouble getting me here, huh? Thanks for that, by the way. I guess we're even again."

Ah yes, it was good to have her back. Anypony else that called me that was cruising for a bruising.

I pulled up a chair from the wall and sat by her bedside, leaning back to brush a few more flakes of sawdust from my fur. "If by trouble, you mean I've been unofficially drafted into the town guard to fight of an entire nest of Hydras, pissed off a lot of ponies, and burned a massive hole in the only defense they have... then yes. I'm in a bit of trouble."

Daring sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. "Maybe I should have told you a little about this place, huh?"

"Probably."

"Sorry. It's just..." She waved a hoof around. "I didn't really think we'd be here for a while yet. After the Temple of Chaos, we were going to hit up all the other places I've not been able to get at. But it's probably for the best that we're here now. I was getting tired of the rainforest anyway."

I blew a sigh of air out of my nose. "I know. In return for teaching me how to read and write. By the way, I'm getting quite a few looks for that."

"Or maybe it's the whole 'glowing claws of death' thing you've got going on there?" A disembodied, but all-too-familiar voice said. "By the way, I was most impressed with the way you lit them on fire. I'd no idea that was even possible." Daring and I abruptly began looking around for the source.

"Up here, silly-fillies."

We looked up, and there, reclining upside down on the ceiling in a lawn chair, while sipping a glass of chocolate milk (which was also defying physics) was the familiar figure of a half-grown draconequus. He winked at us.

"My, my, both of you would be positively horrid at finding Waldo," said Disarray.

I stood up, and pointed an accusing finger at him. "For your information, he's very hard to spot sometimes! And furthermore, where were you when I was stuck outside the gate? You could have gotten me in!"

"Wait, who's Waldo?" Daring scratched her forehead, confused.

"Where is he, you mean."

"Just answer the question!"

He gave a huff and drank the glass containing the milk, before tapping a lobster claw against the remaining solid beverage and tossing it outside an open window. There was a small flash of light an a muffled explosion as it blew up on impact somewhere outside. "Did I not say I'd be of assistance when you need me, not when it's just convenient for me to open a door? You didn't need me then, otherwise you'd still be outside, scratching at the door."

Damn. He had a point. I sat back down, hard.

"Good dog. Now, I believe we have a rather tricky matter on our paws."

"Don't you mean hooves?" asked Daring.

"Not in our case." I wiggled my fingers around. Thumbs for the win!

"Quite." Disarray stroked his multi-hued mustache thoughtfully. "Anyway. Our canine friend here has gotten himself into a barrel here, and not the ones with arrows on them that spin around and shoot you right back out."

Daring was once again lost in the dust. "I assume those are the good kind of barrel?"

"Depends on whether or not you're a gorilla wearing a tie."

"Oooookay?"

Disarray gave a polite cough. "Ahem. Anyway. Echo, what exactly are you going to be doing about this? A hydra alone is a formidable threat, but a whole nest of them? This town may have walls, but once those little buggers grow up, it's game over for everypony."

"What do you mean?"

"Over one-hundred fully grown hydras are more than capable of knocking this wall down. What I mean is that you're going to have to solve this problem, and fast."

"I don't know. I have little knowledge of hydras, but I'll assume the basics. 'Dont cut their heads off' is probably the most I can offer."

Daring Do nodded. "Hydras are bad news if that happens. It's bad enough they have four heads, but more than that? Ridiculous."

I looked at her, somewhat confused. "You have experience with them?"

She nodded again, and stretched her bandaged wing a little. "Quite a few years ago, I was investigating a possible dig site in Froggy Bottom Bog. Two of the biggest hydras you'll ever see rose out of the mud and chased me halfway to Canterlot. I actually ended up killing one, although it was by accident."

Froggy Bottom Bog? That meant the hydra that went after the Elements of Harmony was the survivor of the encounter with the intrepid explorer. Interesting.

"How did you manage to kill it?"

Her face went grim. "Buried it in a rockslide. It wasn't pretty."

Hmmm... So if one wishes to take down a hydra, don't even bother with the heads, just damage the body. Well, I think it's safe to say I've learned something today.

I thought for a moment. "Captain Tythus apparently has a plan to wipe them out once and for all. He didn't say what it was, though, outside of the fact that Ginger Snap and myself are required to make it work. As bait."

Disarray chuckled from his physics-defying position on the ceiling. "Ha! Well, you're completely bucked, then."

I glared at him. "Don't remind me. It's bad enough that I might die very shortly, but I have to do it alongside a mare that hates my guts and will probably kill me before the hydras do."

"Wait, Ginger Snap?" mused Daring. "But the Snap family hates Diamond Dogs..."

"I've noticed. She almost killed you simply to deny me entry to Wethoof. What's up with that, anyway? A lot of ponies around here seem to really dislike us."

Daring Do looked down solemly at at her covers. "Long before I came to the Great Southern Rainforest, the local pack of Diamond Dogs kidnapped Ginger's mother and forced her into slavery digging up gems for them in their den. The town raised a militia - tried to get her back, but... she was killed in the resulting battle below ground. From what I've heard, the incident had quite an impact on Wethoof."

"Wait, there's a local pack of Diamond Dogs?"

"There was a pack. The Greenclaw Pack. But you won't find them around anymore," stated Disarray, who genuinely looked troubled about it. "I saw the whole thing from my prison. It was terrible."

"What... What happened to them?"

"The mayor went mad with grief. Slaughtered them all."

"Disarray!"

"What? It's true. You know very well what happened. The smoke could be seen for miles in any direction. The news even reached Stalliongrad, so I'm told."

"Wait-wait-wait. Why did the mayor go crazy? Is this the same one who outlawed my kind from Wethoof?"

"Aye," said the draconequus.

"Mayor Frost Snap is Ginger's father."

Well, shit! This explains a lot. Now I can see where all this hate is coming from. No wonder Ginger didn't let me in the gate. This Mayor Frost Snap probably wanted to kill me where I sat, and I was willing to bet money that it was only because of Captain Tythus that I hadn't been skinned and mounted over the Snap family fireplace.

I suddenly felt a twinge of gratitude to the grizzled officer. He'd said that he was going to speak with the mayor earlier that day - no doubt about my presence in town.


We didn't say much after that. Pleasantries were exchanged, and I soon learned that Daring Do would be released from the hospital in a few days. After that, she was free to leave whenever she wished. I, on the other paw, was not. The adventuring mare insisted she'd be staying here in the meantime, though, regardless of the hydra problem.

"That's what friends are for; to support each other when they need it," she'd said, and that was that.

Disarray had once again vanished, and neither of us knew where he'd gone. The only evidence of him ever being in the room was the small, smoldering crater outside the clinic, where he'd tossed his explosive chocolate milk.

And so, I'd made my way back through town to the barracks, Popper once again by my side.

As we walked through Wethoof, I have to admit that I was very impressed with what I saw. The town was unlike anything I'd seen in the show. The entire settlement was built on a series of round, raised platforms a few feet off the ground. Small bridges and walkways connected them all together like a giant group of wooden lilly pads. From what I could gather, the town had been built in a shallow depression, so the elevation was probably to avoid the flash flooding that rainforest storms were known for bringing.

Halfway though town, the constant drizzle that'd been gently pattering down all day suddenly increased in strength. Instead of a gentle shower, buckets began pouring down.

"Step on it. The weather team's scheduled a big storm on Tythus' orders," said Popper.

I peered up into the clouds, and sure enough, I picked out the shapes of a few of the civilian pegasi, bucking the thick, dark cover to make it rain. Intrigued, I made a mental note to begin looking into how they did that. Maybe it was magic, or something else entirely.

I obliged my surly shadow and double-timed it back to the barracks on all fours. Surprisingly, I outdistanced him by a large margin. When he caught up to me, I was leaning nonchalantly by the front door, my hood down and my face angled up to the rain. It felt refreshing to have the warm, wet drops soak my fur through, and I didn't mind it in the slightest.

I held the door open for the sopping wet pegasus, and he grunted an obligatory thanks. The cavernous dining hall was now chock full of the entire Wethoof Guard, in the midst of various activities. A group of pegasi were busy removing soaking wet armor by the fireplace on the far end of the hall, and one of them was busy giving a report to Captain Tythus, who looked rather grim. I assumed this to be the scouting group he'd sent out earlier that day - judging by the clenching jaw, the news he was receiving wasn't favorable.

I heard a voice call my name. I pricked my ears, seeking the source. It came from a circle of couches and haphazardly scattered chairs that I judged to act as a sort of common room, or a place for the off duty guardsponies to relax. Sure enough, there was a moderate group there, and a familiar big brown stallion removed himself from a comfortable looking couch and trotted over.

"Allo!" Coconut said brightly. "Come wit me, mate. We'll dry ye off by the fire and getcha somethin' warm ta drink. Any preferences?" He clapped a hoof on my back, making a very wet smacking noise akin to slamming a raw steak onto a counter top.

"You wouldn't happen to have any cider from Sweet Apple Acres, would you?"

He grinned. "I reckon that we've got a keg left. They made a huge amount this year, so I'm told. Somethin' ta do with a competition or the like. Ye want it hot?"

"So help you Celestia, if it isn't hot, I'll eat your limbs," I joked.

Coconut flinched back suddenly. "Ye... Ye wouldn't really do that, would ye?"

"You wouldn't really serve me cold apple cider on a day like this, would you?"

The stallion gave me a hard stare for a moment, then promptly burst out laughing. "Ha ha! Good one, mate! Ye really had me goin' there fer a second! I'll getcha yer cider, just plop done by the fire an' warm yer rump." He gave me a wink and trotted off to the kitchens.

I shook some water from my coat and padded softly across the hall to the fire. Again, I was somewhat disturbed by the attention I was getting. Quite a few of the guards looked up from their various activities, and, while nowhere near as hostile as the townsfolk, still regarded me with some suspicion. I felt almost like an animal at the circus, doing tricks for treats and to avoid the lash of a whip.

The fire was roaring hot, at least. I plopped myself down onto my haunches, back to the inferno. I removed my tattered sweatshirt and laid it on the fireplace to dry off, while the sopping fur on my body began to steam from the sudden evaporation. The surrounding pegasi patrol gave me a brief nod before carrying on with their disarmament, removing their metal curiasses and seemingly Roman-style helmets. Their armor was patchy, a dull grey, freshly forged, and lacked none of the ornamentation I'd seen on the Royal Guard regalia. In fact, Tythus was the only pony in the building who owned a suit of armor that didn't seem haphazardly slapped together.

I eyed the unicorn officer from my spot by the fire. His gear was a darker grey, polished, but covered in countless nicks and dents that indicated he'd seen more than his fare share of action. A gleaming golden sun, almost the same color as his coat, reflected the firelight from it's position on his chest. His feathered helmet crest had two streaks of white shot through it. Maybe it was some kind of ranking system, or a badge of honor?

He noticed me sizing him up, and strode over to me, surprisingly taking a seat by my side. A few of the nearby guards gave us funny looks, but besides that they minded their own business.

"You've got the eyes of a soldier," the stallion said simply. He wasn't looking at me, rather, he was looking at his little army, scattered around the hall, laughing and relaxing with their time off.

"I served some time, yes."

He grunted. "Oh? Wasn't aware that the Diamond Dogs had militarized."

"Who said anything about serving with them, sir?"

Tythus gave me a queer look. I was getting a lot of those, lately. "If not them, than who?"

I shrugged. Half the truth is better than none of the truth, as they say. "Monkeys, sir. Tall, bipedal, hairless, tailess monkeys."

He gave out a harsh bark of laughter, then realized I was completely serious. "Where did you say you were from?"

Uh oh! Think fast, man! Code Red!

I paused, and pieced together a reasonable alibi. The more vague, the better. "Very, very far away. A different land, if you will. This is why I'm such an oddity to you ponies. My kind are quite different from Equestrian Diamond Dogs. " Well, technically, I wasn't lying. Applejack would be proud.

Another grunt. "Huh. No kidding. So if you're from so far away, why are you here?"

"In Wethoof? That would be becuase of the gate incident, sir."

"No, in Equestria."

I thought for a moment. I was here because the avatar of chaos and disharmony had penalty-kicked me across the dimensional divide to be his greatest practical joke. But... I didn't have to be in Equestria. I could go wherever I wanted. There were nations beyond its borders, this much I knew. As far as I knew, I was on an entirely new planet. Oceans, continents, mountain ranges, the whole nine yards. But why was I here? Then, it hit me.

"Knowledge."

Captain Tythus sighed a bit, and leaned back towards the fire. "An admirable goal. Were I a younger colt, I might have undertaken such a quest myself, had I not been so hotheaded and joined the guard."

I had a question that had been burning in my mind since we first met, and I felt this was a good time to ask it.

"Captain, why are you so tolerant of me?"

"I believe in judgment based from actions." He gently tapped a hoof a few times against the floor. "You may have endangered the lives of these ponies, but you've been willing to work to right that wrong, and have been nothing but respectful to us despite the bias this town has against you. You've earned my respect, Echo. Don't lose it."

And with that, the golden stallion heaved himself up to his hooves, and slowly trotted away to another group of pegasi that had just come in from the storm.

"Well, looks like you've made a good impression." Coconut popped up at my side, two steins of a frothing, amber liquid inside. He hoofed one over to me, and I delicately swallowed it up in my paw. I inhaled the steaming beverage deeply. It smelled of tangy, inciting, succulent, sweet apples, unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. It wasn't just due to my enhanced sense of smell, either. This actually smelled like happiness.

I took a small sip. The ambrosia melted down my throat, tickling and burning and soothing all at once. It hit my belly, and I felt a warm glow emit form my very core. I felt like singing and dancing and falling asleep at the same time, the world suddenly becoming much friendlier.

Whoa. This stuff is like crack! This could be dangerous. Maybe I shouldn't have any more...

Buck it. I took a massive gulp. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh... fit for the gods!

"That's some good cider."

Coconut took a swig from his own stein, letting out a contented sigh. "Too right. Sweet Apple Acres makes every batch better than the last one. It never gets old."

I took another long look around the hall. Suddenly, it didn't seem so intimidating with a hot drink in paw, and a new friend by my side. I was filled with a burst of childlike wonder as I watched the guardsponies lounge around, telling stories, joking, playing cards, or simply napping in the corner.

"You're right. It never gets old."

Author: Hey! It's your friendly neighborhood author here! Don't worry, I don't bite... much. Anyway! I am pleased to show you the story's first piece of FAN ART! That's right! Oh yeah!

Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to find a small child and rub his face in this.