• Member Since 22nd Feb, 2012

Verbose Soubriquet


Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am.

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Total Words: 4,718,500
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The greatest hero in the universe has arrived in Equestria, with only one thing to say...

Clem.



An absolutely insane Warframe crossover.

Chapters (1)
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Inspired by fanart from artist Banshee42ru. Set a few years after Season 2 (pending future edits), the story follows the relationship of Spike and Apple Bloom. Their young love takes a serious turn when she finds herself pregnant with a half-dragon, half-pony foal. How will their family and friends react, and what will this halfbreed child mean for them and Equestrian society as a whole?

NOTE: Updates and new chapters tend to take a rather long time, but unless I actually put it as 'On Hiatus' I actually am working on it. It's not abandoned, I just have a really slow writing process.
Also, a while back someone sent this to Equestria Daily without asking me. I appreciate the thought, but they work on a strike system and I really don't want to be locked out.

Chapters (8)
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When Maud Pie officially endorses the latest party game to hit Equestria, Pinkie can't wait to share it with her friends.

For all the wrong reasons, it's a game they won't soon forget.


The trendsetter so controversial, 60% of FimFic's mods ruthlessly crushed the subsequent bandwagon!

Stuff said about CAE:
"I never knew I wanted this until now!" - Xomniac
"Despite your vileness, I can't stop laughing at this fic!" - Professor Tactitus
"Illuminati confirmed." - AlesFlamas
"So weird, I reviewed it twice!" - John Perry

Rated Teen, but brace yourselves for some rather 'near-the-knuckle' humour and strong-ish sexual references. Oh my.

Edited by Kolth

Chapters (3)
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Breezy Beach is a travel writer with a stalled career and an editor that doesn't return his calls. A small farming town like Ponyville doesn't carry the same romantic flair that a tropical beach or the sand dunes of Saddle Arabia does, but it pays for rent and cider. Without anything to tie him down and no responsibilities, Breezy is confident he has the bachelor life made. Nothing could take that away from him.

Not even a dragon.


A collab between myself and Jaestring.
Cover art by Jaestring.

Thanks to Rainbow Bob and ROBCakeran53 for editing.

Chapters (2)
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Twilight finds an unfinished spell from Star Swirl the Bearded meant to view other worlds.
Coop tries to fix the Time Flux Control unit to go back in time to see a legendary wrestling match.
When these two things are activated simultaneously the Mane Six and Spike are pulled into the chaotic land of Jersey City.
Out of her element and completely outgunned, Twilight has no choice but to place her faith in Coop's destructive hands to rescue her friends from the Glorft. However, the seven friends aren't the only thing to make the trip from Equestria to Earth...

Chapters (6)
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The Dragonborn, a legendary warrior capable of absorbing a slain Dragon's soul, and knowledge, directly, forever killing it. The Last Dragonborn had defeated the first, stopped the plans of a Vampire cult, and built his own lakeside home, before finally slaying Alduin the World Eater and fulfilling his fate. Now, after all the challenges he has faced, the Dragonborn is sent to a realm where Friendship is Magic, and there is no mead. Finally, to cap things off, he kind of... well...
Became a Dragon.

Chapters (4)
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Twilight has developed a device that can detect strange signals coming from outer space; signals from aliens! She gathers her friends so that they can all listen in.

But they may not like what they hear...

cover image courtesy of DocWario

I'd appreciate if everyone could keep the YouTube embeds in the comments to a minimum. The sheer number of them is putting a bit more strain on my connection than I'd like. I'm going to start deleting any comments with 2 or more embeds in them.

Chapters (6)
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Most ponies assume that something is wrong with Ditzy Do's eyes. Theories range from a head injury to a genetic disorder to muscle damage behind her eye. The crueler folk suggest she's just retarded. Nicer ponies say it's just a party trick she never got tired of.

They're all wrong. They're all very, very wrong.

I discovered the truth one day in conversation with her. One eye would always look at me, and the other would wander. At least, I thought it was wandering. So while we were talking, I followed it. Goddess in heaven I wish I had not. Never follow the other eye. Ever. Because Ditzy Do's eyes work fine.

She's just watching something. That... thing that's always in the corner of our eyes. And if she looks at you with both eyes?

Goddess save you.

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Preread by BrastaAAura17, Chase Cosmicwing and dreamingnoctis. Cover art also by dreamingnoctis. Guy's a bro.

Chapters (13)
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I finally saved up the money. I finally had a costume I felt was sufficient. I finally got to go to Botcon. As Soundwave. I even practiced his special disturbing walk cycle for extra effect. Granted, I had to do it all with a missing Laserbeak, but hey, I could always roleplay that the little bugger was off on reconnaissance.

Then I saw a way to skip that little mistake altogether: A perfectly sized, articulated Laserbeak, with straps to hold it on properly. I didn't even think about it. I didn't think about why what appeared to be an entire prop shop was set up in the middle of a con. I didn't think about what the chances of this particular prop even existing were. I couldn't even be bothered to think about the creepy dude wearing a creepy hooded robe working the booth as he chuckled at my enthusiastic strapping on of my perfectly-sized addition.

Now I'm in the world of ponies, and have been turned into one of the most technologically-advanced villains of a completely different universe. Nothing to do now except make myself useful, I suppose.

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And thus, I throw my hat into the ring with all the other LoHAV stories. I've been wanting to do this pretty much since the whole trend started, but couldn't figure out which character to use. Let's see how this goes, shall we?

Chapters (2)
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Pinkie Pie wants a pineapple.

No ordinary fruit will do, she needs a Sweet Apple Acres pineapple.

Pinkie won't let little things like Applejack's logic "A pineapple ain't an apple!"
or Twilight's loss of sanity "She's right, go to the store!" stand in her way.

What follows is a tale of romance, science, and pinecones.

Also, Twilight summons a demonic entity but that happens every month so isn't important.

Credit goes to ArshnessDreaming for the cover image
http://arshnessdreaming.deviantart.com/

Chapters (1)