Not Handsome Enough To Tempt Me! 11 stories
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Total Words: 494,749
Estimated Reading: 1 day

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Everypony enjoys myths and ponytales, even if they know such things aren't real. Alicorns fighting against a spirit of chaos? An ancient princess trapped in a library under a tree, waiting to be found? Quite enchanting and fantastic tales yes, but nonetheless as fictional as Daring Do and other such stories. At least, that's what Rarity used to think.

She doesn't anymore.


Dedicated to Annuska for being as amazing a writer as she is a friend.


Now a physical book!!!
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Based on an old oneshot.
Chapter Art by Arctic Waters // Graphic Design and Typography by Swan Song.

Chapters (46)
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At 3:15 AM, Adams woke me with a loud knock on my front door.
"Put your boots on," he said when I answered. "There's a biblical monster in my house."

* * *

A Visual Companion, by the author
Interview with the author, from the Royal Canterlot Library.
Audiobook by Robin Jacks and Wubcake.
Audiobook by Scribbler.
In-depth analysis by the Heroic Tales cast.
Literary Analysis by ScarletWeather.
Special thanks to GaryOak.
Reviews:
City of Doors
One Man's Pony Ramblings
PresentPerfect
Louder Yay
Between Lines
Bad Horse

Chapters (4)
T

The two great dragon clans have united and summoned Celestia to their lair, demanding that Celestia give up her hold on the Sun and Moon. Celestia and her advisors must now decide between surrendering Celestia's greatest gift to Equestria and a war with some of the most powerful and ancient beings in existence.

Meanwhile, the changeling queen confronts Celestia in Canterlot Castle, pleading for the enfranchisement of her kin. Can Celestia trust the changelings, or is there too much to lose with an existential threat on the horizon?

Chapters (15)
T
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Princess Celestia has asked Twilight and Applejack to investigate an ancient artifact in the Foal Mountains. However, trouble arises, and their efforts prove to be in vain. But as an old saying goes: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try, try, try again.

If only this wasn't messing with their wedding plans.

Chapters (3)
T

Before she left, Twilight told Applejack not to open the door. But when leaving the door shut means compromising her values, how long can Applejack hold out?


Written for the December 2014 writeoff: "Behind Closed Doors"

Side note: I've done some general edits and (hopefully) improved the ending. [26/02/2015]

Chapters (1)
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Lyra Heartstrings is a up-and-coming musician living in the quiet town of Ponyville. Her marefriend Bon Bon owns and operates Canter Candies, the town's specialty sweets shop. They've been together for years, and everypony around knows what a happy couple they are. But any relationship has its ups and downs, and it's hard to ignore every awkward moment.

Like when Lyra's ex arrives in town.
Because she thinks Lyra still has a thing for her.
Because someone's been impersonating her for the past few years.

...Bon Bon might be in trouble here.

Thanks to Einhander for pre-reading and Exuno for editing!

Now with a reading by Goombasa!

Chapters (5)
T

Rarity has been keeping to herself lately.

Applejack is determined to find out why.


This fic is a gift for the incredible rice, edited by the brilliant Silent, the talented Zontan, and the effervescent Otter.

Beware: comments contain spoilers!

Chapters (7)
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This story is a sequel to The Fires of Friendship


Applejack is bitter about her lineage among the wealthy and sophisticated Oranges of Manehattan, who apparently abandoned her simple country family. Rarity is desperate to fit in with the urbane elites of the fashion world, even if it means disparaging and rejecting the Ponyville home she loves. On a trip to the big city for Equestria's famous Fashion Week, Applejack will teach Rarity to be honest and true to herself, and Rarity will show Applejack that a little generosity and forgiveness go a long way. Together, they will learn that each has exactly what the other needs to be complete.

This story is in the same continuity as "The Fires of Friendship," and I suppose it is a sequel of sorts, though there is no need to read that story first. More than anything, this story is birthday present for a dear friend, and a fun celebration of her favorite ship.

The cover art (also a birthday present for our mutual chum) is provided courtesy of superstar art sorcerer WizardWannabe.

Chapters (1)
E

The Tunnel of Love is a magical and romantic place in the Everfree Forest, and Twilight intends to find out about it first hoof. With Applejack by her side, it seems like the perfect time to talk to her friend about the feelings she's been having.

But when it turns out that Applejack has been through the tunnel before, and has no interest in going through again, Twilight's hopes and dreams are tested by a deeper understanding of the tunnel and what it shows.

Chapters (1)
E
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Applejack has always had a secret dream, one that some ponies would find strange for the tomboyish farmer. She's always wanted somepony to treat her to a special romantic night, while being treated like a real lady. Turns out all she had to do was have a certain rainbow-maned pegasus catch her in a dress. Such an awkward moment will lead them to a night neither will ever forget.

WINNER OF THE APPLEDASH CONTEST!

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Chapters (2)