The two great dragon clans have united and summoned Celestia to their lair, demanding that Celestia give up her hold on the Sun and Moon. Celestia and her advisors must now decide between surrendering Celestia's greatest gift to Equestria and a war with some of the most powerful and ancient beings in existence.
Meanwhile, the changeling queen confronts Celestia in Canterlot Castle, pleading for the enfranchisement of her kin. Can Celestia trust the changelings, or is there too much to lose with an existential threat on the horizon?
Chapters (15)
Truly a tragedy. No good deed goes unpunished.
Ouch.
And THAT is how you do a bittersweet ending right.
This is a surprisingly unappreciated story. But it's a good one.
Celestia feels a bit out of character... but she's always been hard to read. Your interpretation of her works for the purposes of this story, certainly, and in that context she drives the story well.
Nice solid ending. It doesn't feel like there are any major plot holes.
Let it be very clearly stated here: I hate the changelings. They are horrid, evil, parsitic bug ponies with no redeeming qualities (in the show).
HOWEVER, if at any time I had to form an alliance with them and one of them saved my life and the rest proved trustworthy in whatever plan was made, my honor would absolutely demand that I uphold any agreement I made to its fullest. To do any less would be an unwashable stain of shame upon the very core of my being.
Celestia in this story has been dishonorable and extremely weak-willed. So much so, I cannot really believe this is her in the last few chapters. If there was any time for her to behave as a proper tyrant and tell her advisors to shut the hell up or be banished to the moon, this was it!
Given the time line, so close to NMM's return...
This must be AU. The ponies would certainly still remember and hate the dragons. And they'd be far more aware of changelings.
And too, this Celestia doesn't feel at all like a being that has a thousand years worth of knowledge and experience. She feels more like a child given the task of giving order to the world than a being with centuries' worth of political skills.
that is bullshit
i am honestly angery right now, dont get me wrong the story is great and everything but Fuck celestia its times like this that make me think thats shes the bad guy not the other ones.
good story but i wont be reading it again
Celestia is terrible at ruling a country. +1
What, no comments on this chapter either? Criminal I say.
Anyway, really enjoying the buildup here. I love the way you set up conflicts in a way that's realistic and there's no simple answer. Let's hope the rest of the story is as good!
4398991
In the show, ponies in general mostly fear dragons,(except Spike) - which is resasonable no matter how the dragon wars turn out. As for changelings, Shining Armor made a changeling-proof shield in response to a vague threat, so they are clearly known.
Celesta has spent a thoussand years ruling a peaceful kingdom while missing her sister. It is not strange that she acts unwisely in times of war and her sisters return is at stake.
Wait... is this an origin story for Spike?
The tragedy tag really fits, I have to say.
4464526 It wasn't a 'changeling-proof' shield. It was a general shield which prevented anyone from entering unless they went through the specified entry ways.
Of all of them, Cadance was the only one who seemed to have any knowledge of them... and probably only because Chrysalis spent time gloating over her now and then. She probably villain monologued alot too, driving Cadance to near-insanity.
This is an under appreciated story. Good job on it. The twist with Inkstain was surprising.
Okay, I've got to share this because it had me laughing for a full 10 minutes.
Just as I was starting the paragraph that contained the reveal that Inkstain was a changeling, the music I was playing shuffled to Weird Al's "I was Only Kidding". It completely killed the mood of the moment and I had to put my kindle down so I can get the amusement out of my system.
Hey, I wrote a review of this story. In case you are interested, it can be found here.
Overall, I loved the concept, in particular your usage of Changelings. However, it is brought down by pacing issues, as well as some problems with how the Dragon menace is established.
FYI, you've got a few pronoun goofs where Zhuyin is male instead of female. (It might also help to assign a few names or recast these sentences, so that it's easier to disambiguate Celestia and Zhuyin here.)
Interesting start to the story, though. Let's see where it goes.
A lot of very good showing in this chapter. I particularly like the similarities to the Hearth's Warming Eve tale.
I can see how it could be considered not, but this is very much a POV shift that you don't really need.
That last scene is breaking my heart ;_;
Wasn't she addressing Jet Stream here?
Hah! I should have guessed Spike would come into this somehow. :D
Now the Wonderbolts, those I saw coming. :) I love the asides at the ends of these chapters, to show how Equestria is reacting to the events.
This reminds me of The Celestia Code, and not in a good way. Much as Twilight's all-consuming hatred for changelings was an unpleasant surprise in that story, this scene paints Celestia as incredibly... well, not herself. She's just absolutely not willing to see reason or compromise, and that is, again, an unpleasant surprise.
Got an extra space there. :B
An ominous ending to a chapter. I find myself wondering if Inkstain isn't a changeling...
What a great, tense chapter. Two things stand out: Jet Stream's beautiful apology and seeing Celestia so outside her element. Very good moments.
whoa, shit, was not expecting that ending :O turns out their plan was far more effective than I anticipated!
coocn pls
OH I CALLED IT :D And yet I didn't, bravo! And I've never heard the word 'gallimaufry' before, well done.
Nice, very nice! I love how they're making legends about what Celestia just did.
This was a great classic tragedy story to me, Celestia screwing up in a way that feels plausible. However, my problem is I feel too sympathetic to the dragons.
They have a point: The sun and moon don't belong to ponies in particular, just because ponies can move them. In this story the sun and the moon used to move on their own in a regular cycle, and millennium ago ponies basically hijacked the celestial bodies and altered the nature of day and night for their own selfish gain.
What I would like to hear is the perspective of other sapient races, since the sun and the moon affect everyone on the planet. What was the original cycle of the sun and moon? Is the new pattern dictated by Celestia better everyone in terms of agriculture, or just ponies? If everyone except dragons loves the current sun and moon pattern, and the dragons are just grumpy about their migration patterns, that is a very different scenario from "every other race wishes that Celestia would stop holding the planets hostage for the selfish benefit of Equestria, but only the dragons have the power to stop her."
okay, these dragons are complete and utter MORONS!
Yes, they were around when the sun and moon moved on their own, but that was BEFORE Discord. He made it so they WON'T move on their own anymore. So, it making Celestia give up the Sun and Moon, they DOOM EVERYONE!
I found your work from Illya Leonov's audiobook reading. I love this story, a history that ties with the canon. Solid plot, too. Everything fits.
The names of the dragons, if taken in their Chinese meaning, are foreboding and rather fitting! Fukang (阜康) meaning abundance (if their hoarding for riches makes them feel so), and Zhuyin (主因), get this, meaning root cause.
One thing that doesn't match with, as of writing, season six canon is the history of the Wonderbolts in general (although they were for defense originally). The Wonderbolts was founded by General Firefly.
I also still grapple with Chrysalis, in your fic, having had happy, rather friendly moments with Celestia. Shared moments, and bad blood, between them were never even implied on the show yet. Maybe never.
"Was there ever a real Celestia?" Augh, the feels!
Spike's origin. Very impressive! You have a plausible answer to what Celestia was doing with a dragon egg for Twilight's first exam to begin with. And he's the heir! This calls for a sequel explanation!
Overall, I regard this fic highly and look forward to more of your writing. More, I said!