Sometimes you really need a nice, big, juicy piece of meat to eat. Unfortunately, every creature around you has eyes larger than their heads and are friend shaped.

No animals were harmed in the making of this story, much to his dismay.

A goofy idea I spent an hour writing. Please enjoy.

Audiobook Version now available - Done by yours truly.

Twilight Sparkle has fulfilled her destiny and become the sole ruler of Equestria.

Unfortunately, at her first council meeting, she learns a terrible truth.

Equestria is a bit of a mess.

Its been centuries since Twilight's friends passed and since then the alicorn has taken many students. The latest one of which is about to get to the bottom of a two hundred-year-old lie.

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Now with a reading!

~~~You asked, you receive. Bonus chapter up~~~

Twilight has successfully created fake government jobs to help her terminally broke friends be less, uh, terminally broke. All they have to do is pass a simple little background check, just an easy little formality really. Should be no problem for these national heroes, right?

Right?

Well....

I guess the constituent parts of the cover art might be property of the federal gubbermint, but, honestly, I feel like I've spent enough on ATF tax stamps to make me stealing their crisp PNGs an equal exchange.

"Hey, I need to file an insurance claim on my house?"

"Nature of the damage?"

"Oh, a magical bear got dragged into town by a bunch of teenagers to impress their foalish crush and it stepped on my front porch. Also, the next week a god of chaos turned my lamps into sharks and now there's a puddle of milk in my crawlspace."

For Equestria? This is an absurdist tale. For Ponyville's insurance adjuster, it was Wednesday.

A slice of that life, starring the adjuster himself and everyone's ... third(?) favorite glasses-wearing foal.

For a human that ended up in an alien world full of talking ponies, you've been living a surprisingly boring life. Sure, you have friends and go on adventures and stuff, but you don't really have a "purpose" per se. At least, you didn't until about a month ago, when a "heinous villain" that had been turned to stone went missing from Canterlot. Now, there's a washed-up queen crashing in your basement and stealing your love.

If only you could get her to admit that she doesn't actually steal it from you.

This story is a sequel to My Night with Starlight

Starlight Glimmer has a sleepover at Sunset Shimmer’s apartment during her first visit to the human world. Discussion of Human Anatomy and innuendo follows.

This story is a sequel to No Raisin's one-shot My night With Starlight as part of Tumble Weed's Springtime Sequel Sandbox Switcheroo Contest.

This story is rated T for Teen because my Teenage characters talk like actual Teenagers.

Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer have a humorous conversation over a nice cup of hot chocolate.

No, seriously, that's all that happens.

Cover art by Melusaaste.

So where does Sunset Shimmer live? That's what her friends have been asking and it's about time they got some answers.

Based on my own headcanon on where Sunset lives.

Edited/Proofread by PixelReality. Thank you for all the help!

Sunset Shimmer wears a leather jacket, walks with confidence, and used to be the school bully. So it's only obvious that she could probably kick anybody's ass.

Tonight, she's having her friends over and they're going to find out just how true that statement really is.

Edited by: Autumn Bramble

Apparently someone made a Spanish translation of this fic, so that's pretty rad.