Starlight Over Sunset

by Punk Rock Prom Queen

In Your End Oh!

“Celestia’s flaming clitoris!” Came Starlight Glimmer’s terrified shout. Not a second later the bathroom door of Sunset Shimmer’s apartment burst open revealing a panting Sunset.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” A concerned Sunset questioned. A half-naked Starlight looked up from her seat on the edge of Sunset’s bathtub and pointed emphatically at her bare feet which were stretched out as far away from her body as was physically possible. Sunset raised an eyebrow in response.

“What in Tartarus are these things!?” Starlight gestured with two closed fists. “And why are they so smelly!?”

“They’re called feet Starlight,” Sunset sighed. “We've been over this already and of course you’re going to smell like wet teenager, you’ve been walking around wearing combat boots in ninety-degree weather.”

“I’m not talking about my feet! I’m talking about the creepy tiny fingers attached to them!” Starlight paused in her hysterics as a look of contemplation crossed her face. “And why would I smell like a wet teenager? Shouldn’t I smell like a wet adult?”

Sunset’s palm became thoroughly acquainted with her face. They hit it off surprisingly well. “They’re called toes. They help with balance since humans don’t have tails. Also, we are teenagers, therefore, you’re going to smell like one, a particularly sweaty one at that.”

“But I’m a grown mare,” Starlight whined. “Why are we teenagers here?”

“According to Princess Twilight, the portal turns us into teens in order to sync us to this worlds time stream. Time moves a lot slower here then it does in Equestria so we would be younger if we were born here then on the other side of the mirror.”

“Huh, that makes a surprising amount of sense. Still doesn’t explain why I smell like stale moldy corn chips.”

“Again we’re teenagers raging hormones included. Hormones that end up in our sweat. Hormones that make our sweat particularly tasty to the bacteria that live on our skin. Which they then eat and afterward fart.”

“So my feet smell bad because of bacteria fart,” Starlight deadpanned.

“Exactly. Now if we’re done talking about this hurry up and take your shower so I can get in. I’d also like to stop smelling like bacteria fart.”

“Why don’t you just get in with me? You’re shower’s big enough and it’d save water.”

Sunset’s cheeks turned the same shade of crimson as her hair while her mouth did a rather accurate impression of a fish.

“What?” Starlight questioned with an expression of pure innocence on her face before it morphed to one of understanding. “Oh, this about that whole body image issue you have that we talked about at the diner isn’t it? Like I said before you don’t have to worry, we both have the same parts and your’s are better than mine anyway.”

“I don’t have body image issues!” Sunset half sputtered half shouted. “And stop talking about our parts! It’s weird!”

“Right, because your whole nudity taboo thing isn’t weird at all. I mean you are a pony, we don’t normally wear clothes or have you really gone that native?”

Sunset’s palm went on a second date with her face. There was talk of meeting each other’s parents.

“Just get in the shower,” she groaned through her hand.

“Alright, alright sheesh I still don’t get what the big deal is.”

Sunset turned to leave, but Starlight’s voice speaking up again caused her to pause.

“Quick question before you go.”

“Yes?”

Starlight gestured to the lacy teal bra holding her modest chest in place with a closed hand. “What is this thing and how do I get it off?”

---

An hour and a half later both girls were showered and dressed with Starlight wearing a borrowed set of pajamas. The two teens were now occupying Sunset’s couch and watching one of Sunset’s favorite shows on Streamflix.

“I have a question,” Starlight stated turning away from the screen just as one of the characters stabbed a demon with her enchanted knife. “If magic doesn’t exist naturally in this world why does this show focus so heavily on it?”

“Dunno,” Sunset replied with a shrug. “I think maybe it did at some point, but then it just sort of faded out and became a legend?”

“Huh.” Starlight returned her attention to the screen and the two lapsed into a comfortable silence. After several more minutes of watching human on demon violence, she turned back to Sunset.

“Should the older sister really be fighting right now? I mean demon combat can’t be healthy for her baby.”

Sunset sprayed out the mouthful of Tantrum she had just taken a sip of. Luckily none of the ridiculously sugary soda landed on any of the electronics before her.

“What makes you think she’s pregnant?” She asked after getting her breathing under control.

“Have you seen the size of her teats!?” Starlight gestured at the television with both hands. “They’re huge! I think it’s pretty obvious she’s got a bun cooking in that oven.”

For the third time, that night Sunset’s palm and face got together. They decided to move in with each other.

“They’re not called teats here, they’re breasts and no she’s not pregnant they naturally look like that.”

Starlight looked down at her own chest before casting her gaze over at her friend’s.

“So...We’re not pregnant?”

“What the hell Starlight!? No, we’re not pregnant! What, did you think everyone you saw with big tits was knocked up? We’re all teenagers for fuck’s sake!”

“Hey!” Starlight shot back indignantly. “In my defense, I thought we were all adults. Besides my Pinkie is rather promiscuous and your’s looks like she’s doing some baking without a kitchen oven if you know what I mean.”

“So, what, you just thought we’re all really slutty and don’t know what birth control is?” Sunset growled as she gazed at her guest with narrow eyes.

“What?! No, of course not! I just thought I had shown up at the end of the Human Mating Season! I mean it is the end of Summer after all,” Starlight replied while waving her hands defensively.

“Okay first of all Human’s don’t have a mating season. Secondly, did you think the portal made you preggo or something?”

Starlight shrugged in response. Sunset buried her face in her hands and groaned. Starlight reached over and patted her host on the back.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “But can you really blame me? I mean this is my first time being in a strange new world in an even stranger body after all. You can’t tell me you didn’t think the same things when you first showed up here, can you?”

“Well yeah I was pretty weirded out when I first showed up, but I didn’t think everyone with a decent rack was about to pop out a mini-me.”

“Well excuse me for not knowing anything about Human anatomy or mating habits,” Starlight pouted while crossing her arms just beneath her chest which had the unintended side effect of pushing her mammaries up and together. A side effect which Sunset did her best to ignore even as Starlight leaned closer to her.

“But you could teach me,” she purred.

Author's Note:

And then they fucked the end. What you actually thought I was going to write something with substance? This was a slice of life sequel to a slice of life story. Of course, it was going to be a mess of dialogue-heavy nonsense with zero plot. Anyway, I hope it at least got a couple of chuckles out of you guys especially No Raisin, that’s really what I was aiming for.

Comments

[shallow15]

Nicely done. Starlight's confusion over toes was fantastic.

[Punk Rock Prom Queen]

8882399
Why thank you, that’s actually pretty high praise for me considering who it’s coming from

[No Raisin]

Interesting that you picked that one, of all my stories, to write a sequel to. Can't complain, though, since it makes sense and also gets me some extra faves and maybe a follower or two.

The running gag of Sunset facepalming was pretty great. Tickled my comedy pickle, know what I'm sayin'?

But there is a problem here, and it has to do with grammar and stuff like that.

Not sure if this will help or anything, but let's give this a shot.

“Celestia’s flaming clitoris!” Came Starlight Glimmer’s terrified shout.

First of all, what a way to start a fic.

But no, I wanna point out something here. When attributing dialogue to someone, you shouldn't capitalize the first letter of the first word to come after the line unless it's the character's name.

So it should look like this, right?

“Celestia’s flaming clitoris!” came Starlight Glimmer’s terrified shout.

Something like that.

“They’re called feet Starlight,” Sunset sighed.

As the saying goes, there's a difference between "Let's eat, Grandma!" and "Let's eat Grandma!"

this worlds time stream.

Should be world's, since it's possessive.

An hour and a half later both girls were showered and dressed with Starlight wearing a borrowed set of pajamas.

Actually, this is a good example of a sentence that could use a comma or two to give it those proper little pauses, because without them it kind of runs off the rails in one buttery motion. There are a lot of sentences here that could use either commas or semi-colons, but maybe that's a stylistic choice.

Besides my Pinkie is rather promiscuous

I'm not sure if a word is missing or if an additional word was put in there by accident.

your’s

Should be yours.

but I didn’t think everyone with a decent rack was about to pop out a mini-me.”

cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1252/1*ZYpBSAe0dC4_ha-3GhcO9Q.jpeg

And that's all I can think of right now.

I don't know if I came off as harsh or not (I hope I didn't), but I do think this is a lovely companion piece to my fic. It's shorter, raunchier, wackier, and you put a few recurring jokes in there that I dig.

[Bookish Delight]

Well.

If this is actual teenage dialogue, I'm glad I never was one.

[Punk Rock Prom Queen]

8882613
I’m glad you liked it. I don’t think you came off as harsh. When I get the chance I’ll go back through and fix the grammar mistakes you pointed out.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

This makes all the sense in the world. :D

[Natedogg2006]

Oh I need more of this, please tell me there's more planned

[Supergrate]

This was stupid and had no plot.

That being said:I FUCKING LOVED THIS.

[Alwaysthatoneguy]

Sunset’s palm went on a second date with her face. There was talk of meeting each other’s parents.

You. Have. Slain. Me.

[Onyx Archer]

Seeing the romance tag had me thinking this would turn out differently, but that's not really important. I do like the end result, since it's humorous at the very least. That said, I couldn't help but notice a few places where the some of the writing was a bit questionable. Namely, the lack of comma usage in places where there should be, though this was already pointed out by No Raisin. I'd say that it could be massaged a bit by editing into something better, though it's still enjoyable regardless.

[MixMassBasher]

Awkward, cringey and hilarious

[DILLYbOd]

I shall give this a read.