Today is
Today.
What do I want to do today?
What’s there to do today?
The same old, I suppose. Get out of bed, fluff my mane and put on a smile. Past twenty years it’s been that way, and there’s no sign of anything changing.
Yup.
Y’know, I used to wonder what my life was going to be like. I really did. Back on the rock farm I’d lay on my back and stare up at the sky, wondering what could possibly be out there for me. Where was I gonna go? What was I going to do? Who was I to be?
My sisters and I knew what we were destined to be. Rock farmers through and through– our family had been so for generations. Still, a part of me clung to the hope that I could be something different, a little shred of hope that I could amount to more and go places with my life, instead of being stuck on a farm out in the wilderness of Equestria, pushing rocks around until my parents deemed it be time for me to settle down with a colt from a nearby farmstead. I would foal his children, and then I would settle down into a life of rocking chairs and bland food until I passed on.
That was not a future I wanted. I don’t think anypony wants that future. But... so many are doomed to it.
I received my ticket out when I was around the age of seven. It was a normal day, me
just moving some larger rocks to the other side of the quarry. Then, as I looked towards the sky in an attempt to see a different future, there was a dazzling flash of light. A huge wave of rainbow colors shot across the sky in a great ripple of magnificence and spectrum.
It was then I was given a flash of hope, brief as though it may have been, and something inside my heart swelled. There was a little flicker of hope that had always there, and this explosion of color shooting across the vast Equestria sky had fueled it, causing to fill me up with an emotion very rarely used here: Happiness.
Oh, how I longed for happiness.
After gazing upon this great splendor, my mane shot straight up, poofing out into a fluffier, happier state than the lanky mop it had just been. I felt a bizarre tingle, a vibration of sorts, and upon my flank burst one of the, if not THE crowning moment of a pony’s life: My Cutie Mark.
The symbol on my flank was one of three balloons. I knew it would mean that I was destined to be happy, right then and there. But how could I achieve happiness? Surely, it just doesn’t come to you? No, I would have to work for it. What better way to acquire happiness than to share it with others? Happiness was one of those special things that if you put it out, you would always receive it in return.
So, I threw a party for my parents and siblings, who were just as depressed as I had been just a short time ago. At first, when they stumbled into the silo which had been transformed into a makeshift party room, they looked shocked. One of my sisters even looked downright terrified.
Soon, they were all smiles, and we were enjoying ourselves, dancing, singing, and partying as if every bad thing in the world had dissolved by some great miracle of Celestia. Our little rock farm became much happier after that day.
Well, mostly.
I had felt happiness in that brief moment at the start of the party, but as I continued to reflect upon the event I found a crippling truth. I had been faking most of that happiness, wearing a fake smile for a fake feeling. I wasn’t truly happy. My talent couldn’t be making others happy. It had to be being fake. I needed a fake cutie mark. A fake cutie mark for a fake mare.
At first I thought ‘Hey! Maybe that one was a fluke! The next one I throw can be sure to give me the happiness I need!’ So, I threw a party the next day. My family was... less excited about that one to say the least, but they enjoyed it all the same. Still no more than a brief flash of joy and contentment from me. Between this and the next twenty-three parties I threw for them that month, I found out two things: One, I was very good at throwing parties, even if my heart wasn’t in it. Two, I had become addicted to those tiny little rays of hope and happiness the parties gave me.
As I grew up, I knew that I would not be able to contain myself here. My family was beginning to tire of my parties, and even though it pains me to say this, I was beginning to tire of them. I needed fresh fodder, new ponies to experience my parties. They could add more to the experience, and heighten my joy. So, I moved out to the nearest town I could find: A little place called Ponyville.
When I first showed up, I immediately began introducing myself to everypony and anypony I could find. I needed to know as much as I could so I could find out what makes them. So I could find out how they could be happy, and how I could achieve happiness.
I found myself a job as a baker, and the lovely Cake couple which owned the bakery let me live there. After seeing how successful my parties were at drawing in customers, they even let me start throwing my parties there.
Soon, my entire life became one giant happiness study. I made friends with everypony to achieve the maximum amount of exposure to emotion, good and bad. What made certain ponies happy, what made certain ponies sad, it all got catalogued in my mind. When a new pony came to town, I immediately made friends with them to see to expand my ever-growing collection.
I grew accustomed to acting certain ways around other ponies. I couldn’t be mopey and reveal myself as somepony who was just seeking to find out what happiness was. If I wanted to achieve the maximum results, I needed to act happy all the time. Some days, I even lost myself to the charade, acting totally silly and crazy subconsciously. But even then, in my mind there was always that little nagging spot, that little voice that reminded me I wasn’t really happy.
One day when I was in my faux silliness, a certain mare who would change my life forever showed up. She was a unicorn fresh from Canterlot, and was here for the Summer Sun Celebration which was to be held in our little village. I gave her the full routine, a surprise party, a confusing scry of her personality, the works. Soon, she dragged me and five others into an adventure which would solidify us as best friends.
It’s odd. Before then, I never had a best friend. Sure, I had good friends, and everypony in town was my friend. But nopony was my best friend. After venturing out into the Everfree that night and fighting down the corrupt Nightmare Moon, I was with five new, BEST friends. Something about having a best friend just goes without saying, and it kindled the tiny flicker of hope that I had. That tiny little thing, cradled and nurtured by my five best friends.
By far the scariest moment of my life was when Discord corrupted me and my friends. When I was gone, it showed my true nature. The flame which had been growing was snuffed out, the light turned off. There was no hope, no future left at all. I will never forget when Twilight managed to save us. It is truly the greatest act of kindness I had ever experienced, for my dream, my eternal struggle for a bit of feeling that could last returned.
And now, here I am. Another morning, another day of my pretender act. This is another today.
After reflecting upon this, my whole pursuit, my time with my friends... Was it my job it give others happiness even when I could not feel it? Am I the hero for them? I make others happy so that they never feel as I do, hungering for a bit of happiness, a bit of anything.
Could I have been happy all along?
I smile a genuine smile.
Today.
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Songs you can listen to which will heighten your reading experience are as follows, but not limited to:
Today- The Smashing Pumpkins
Wish You Were Here- Pink Floyd
Disenchanted- My Chemical Romance
Fake Plastic Trees- Radiohead
Summertime- My Chemical Romance
The Light Behind Your Eyes- My Chemical Romance
Everybody Hurts- REM
Belong- REM
Shiny Happy People- REM
The World Is Ugly- My Chemical Romance
Under Pressure- Queen
Mayonaise- The Smashing Pumpkins
All Apologies- Nirvana
2338004 I'm listening to the Chicken Yodel. Does it count?
2340068 No.
Oh damn, something serious from you? This was well done, Reg. At first Pinkie reminded me a bit like the Pinkie in Fallout: Equestria, who threw herself into parties (and drugs) to try and deny how reality was falling apart around her. Dat ending-- A++, mate.
2340073 You're no fun
2340094 Thank you. I haven't gotten that far into FO:E So I wouldn't know.
2340144
2338004 I read it five times over just to read it with all the songs. Some I played twice
I have to ask: Is this Incomplete or you forgot to mark it as complete. If the former, that isn't a one-shot, y'know?
2340173 Whoops lemme fix that.
I really really like your interpretation of the character, this fakeness she has.
I wasn't expecting anything serious from you Regidar, It was pretty good.
Add: "Something I Can Never Have" by Nine Inch Nails.
2340244 2013 never regret
2340246 I'll be the judge of that. Let me take a listen.
Well written. I enjoyed it
It also helped that I was listening to this....this counts right?
2338004
Does the slow part of "Danger Line" count?
2338004 You forgot this one.
2338004 I listened to Shiny Happy People, such an uplifting song.
Warning: This comment contains spoilers. If you don't want spoilers, DON'T read this comment!
Hello Regidar. I've just finished this story and I'm going to talk about it. I'll offer what I liked about it and what I don't like about it. I ask that you not become discouraged in any way by anything negative I have to say; anything here is only meant to offer advice for future writing. Also, please don't feel obligated to take every form of "advice" I have; there may be some things that don't gel with your style, and can therefore be ignored. There may even be something that I'm missing, and I wouldn't mind having it pointed out to me.
With that out of the way, here is my review:
Half of me really likes this, and thinks it's great; the other half of me really doesn't like this. It all boils down to character for my conflicting emotions.
On the one hand, I really like what you set out to do. Setting Pinkie Pie as a character that not only causes happiness but searches for happiness is clever, and for me, it's a fresh take on the character. The way you point out what her life could be like
was touching. Actually talking about how weary everypony got of her parties was excellent, and her time in Ponyville seems to be bittersweet.
One thing in particular I like is the tone Pinkie Pie takes throughout the entire thing. She's allowed to let her mind dwell on the past, but she doesn't ramble on anything insignificant. She focuses on key moments to her, and talks about her own thoughts there. It doesn't appear as though you added anything in there to fluff it up (except in one case, but I'll get to that), and you focused on what was important. Moreover, you talked about things that seemed important to her, and made it seem quite real to me. I think the tone it takes is nice for this story.
The ending is also sweet. Having her put on a genuine smile after all of this thought was great, and it makes sense to me. The beginning went along great with it, I think, making life seem like a routine at first, and then this reminder that today was another day that she needed to use at the end was a great link between them.
On the other hand, the story is so dull.
And by dull, I mean non-exploratory. You had a chance to explore how everypony related to her, and you only talked about Twilight Sparkle. Heck, you barely talk about how she affected Pinkie Pie in any relevant way. You say that she had best friends, and that their (or, specifically, Twilight's) kindness rekindled her feeling, but you don't talk about any of the relationships she has with any of the other four ponies—or Twilight, for that matter. I believe it is relevant that her relationships with the others is explained, since the story is about how special her life is, or how mundane her life is.
Actually, let me address a line:
Where did she do anything special for any particular pony? Why is her brand of happiness valued above anypony else's? You don't talk about anything specific, so that whole dialogue about her best friends and how she met them doesn't really make sense. In fact, it sounds like her friends (or, specifically, Twilight) are her hero, and not the other way around.
Speaking of heroism, why was that part with Discord mentioned at all? It bears no significance to this plot, as far as I'm concerned. Although I like how you say there was no future for her (that was excellent), it doesn't serve anything more than to glorify Twilight Sparkle more than she needs to be. It has no relation to the party-planning at all. In fact, you don't talk about how Twilight saved Pinkie Pie. This could've been a great moment to talk about what visions Twilight showed Pinkie Pie, like all the memories of her causing happiness, and making her feel happy as well. There had to be something there that brought her to her old self. And keep in mind, when she was brought back, she was bubbly, but she HAD to be somewhat unhappy in your story. So what was it that made her see some hope in all of this? There's nothing to link it (that I saw).
The concept is great, and has a lot of potential, but the actual events are much too vague for me to latch onto anything. The biggest problem is that no relationship is delved into to give Pinkie's work some weight. Pinkie Pie just goes into Ponyville and throws parties; there's no reward that comes from it. That study in happiness yields no results that are discussed, making it superfluous. The entire story just doesn't examine anything about the relationships Pinkie Pie has, and how they're used to continue giving her a ray of hope that there's some form of happiness for her, and therefore, it falls flat for me.
Again, please don't feel discouraged about the criticism; again, it's only meant to offer some thoughts. I wish you the best of your talents with your future writing projects!
2341145 In summarization, this fic was far too short to leave much of an impact, which is correct.
What Regi set out to do would've taken a lot more time and a lot more exploration in order to develop properly. To be fair, he does raise some very good points in this fic, but the problem is that he doesn't do anything beyond that.
I'm glad that Regi is stepping out of his comfort zone when it comes to writing fanfiction, but he does need more practice at writing something that's serious and making it work.
Honestly, I thought this fic was... meh. It had some good stuff that could've been focused on, but it seems like it was written purely out of emotion and in an abrupt manner.
Also, here's another song to help the mood of this fic.
2341241 I agree. I admire that Regidar's stepping out and attempting to write something with a lot more heft to it (the only other story I read from him is Where did you Sleep Last Night?). You are right in that he does raise good points. I can't comment on stories written purely out of emotion, since I haven't had that happen to me yet, and I don't know what's different about those compared to those written out of an idea.
I decide to look at the newest stories today and what do I see? Regidar has a new fic, and it already has 21 comments? Maybe one day I'll grow up to be just like you.
2341449 Oh god I hope not.
Also, I may be younger than you.
2341454
For real? How old you is?
2341469 15.
2341145 Thank you for the in-depth read. The truth is, as you have guessed, is that I did write this on emotion. I'll keep this all in mind for the future fics I write.
It was vague at parts, but so beautiful- SO much EMOTION!
2341873 Yeah, I wrote it last night off an emotion outburst.
*starts slow clap, no one joins in, awkwardly stops*
2341894
It shows. I need to try that. I usually draw.
2341914 Give me a pencil to draw, and you will regret it.
2341899
Well done sir, well done.
You know, this is one of the most serious stories I have ever seen.
Seriously, I'm not even going to use emoticons in this comment. I figure I'll just talk about what I love.
That.
That was really something that made me read on.
Talking about someone's life is usually pretty boring for me (since there are quite a lot of beginner writers here like myself), but this was pure genius. I really love how you described her life as her perspective.
Not my perspective, but her perspective.
Also this:
It really is a great touch to mention an episode. I especially love how you didn't ruin any of it and just let it be what it wanted to be.
Overall, this story deserves a beautiful like. Thank you for writing this.
2342945 Aye, thanks!
2343541 Aw, thank you very much! Your review brought me a smile.
And if this is honestly one of the most serious stories you've ever seen, then... well, ok then.
2343571
You will not BELIEVE what I've seen.
Trust me.
2343574 Ohmai
Wow... you did an amazing job with this. The vivid descriptions of bittersweet emotions really opened me up to a new view on Pinkie's truth. It was tragedy without tragedy, yet by the end she discovers that maybe she wasn't lying to herself all along. Simply touching...
And as for my music selection...
Keep up the good work!
2345306 Aw, shucks. I like the description "tragedy without tragedy".
2345318
Well, I try...
2341899
*Starts clapping a few seconds before you stop*
An interesting look behind the mask of pinkie pie.
This reminds me of something...
Something from another...
2381548 How so?
2382833
I believe I've read something like this with the same idea/plot somewhere, I don't remember if it was pony or not, but it doesn't feel original to me.
2384091 Oh. Well, rest assured, I was not attempting to plagiarize. I had no idea about this other story.
Second Smashing Pumpkins fic.
Someone needs to eventually write one for "1979", "Cherub Rock", or "Luna".
2395018 Oh yeah, I also wrote "Twilight Sparkle and the Infinite Sadness"
2395492 I haven't read that one yet, but I'm going to in probably.. two minutes.
I think I'll write something based off of Siamese Dream... each song representing each chapter of the fic. Hehe.. Silverfuck will be fun to write..
2395637 I'm actually writing one based off Siamese Dreams, called "Alicorn Dreams".
2395822 Really? Damn. I thought up "Equestrian Dreams". Maybe something for Oceania or Gish.