• Member Since 2nd Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

OleGrayMane


If human life is again to become tolerable, mankind must acquire two things which are at present increasingly disappearing: loving kindness and scientific impartiality. — Bertrand Russell

T
Source

A DRAGON adds the most precious gem to his collection, but it brings him no joy.

I didn’t expect to like this, but it went in directions I hadn’t anticipated and was all the stronger for having done so. Recommended
PresentPerfect


Art: SmellsLikeBeer ● Editor: BlueBook

Review by PresentPerfect 1st Nov 2013
Added to Twilight's Library 17th Feb 2013
Listen to a dramatic reading by obabscribbler

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 63 )
Sib

That so much time and care was put into this project is obvious. It's incredibly well-written, though I spotted a small typo in the twelfth paragraph in the second part (thought). Apart from that, it's seamless. I usually don't like this type of story, but you've done it in a way that makes the reader feel incredibly empty. The relationship between Spike and Rarity is heart-wrenching, yet we never see them interact for more than a few moments. That's an accomplishment right there.

This was an amazing story, OleGrayMane! The plot-line was so deep, and the story itself was easy to get into also! Great Job! :twilightsmile:

perfect, truly perfect, I wouldn't normally read anything online, phone excluded, but this was an exception. I feel there was a lot of time put into this project a few months at the least. It was well written and there is really nothing more I can say.

Wow. :pinkiegasp: That was stupendous. That was beautiful. That was heart-breaking. The was wonderful. I don't want to use every superlative in my vocabulary, but I could and it still wouldn't be enough.
When he implied in the beginning that he was done with pony kind, I thought to myself "What about the Princesses?" The rest of the story was so potently and profoundly sorrowful I as well forgot.
I have never seen anything more deserving of the sad tag.
Ciao darling :raritywink:

2123729
Thank you very much. I showed your comment to my editor, as he help so much with making this story possible. Without his *urk* and *ack* comments and forcing me to go back over something I thought was good enough, I would have sent this out in pretty bad shape.
BUT, apparently not that good, as you got me on one of my favorite typos! A special editorial moustache for you :moustache:.
I'll repair that error and any others either over the weekend or next week.

Beautiful, simply beautiful.

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Thank you all so much. I hope we can keep you entertained, maybe with fare that is not so heavy. :raritycry:

2124420
For the sake of my piece of mind. Twilight did what to herself exactly?

2124414
Thank you very much.

2124435
She made herself not-be in a rather dramatic way. In early drafts, I described it as dissipation, but I thought it might be better to leave it to the reader to decide what specific action she took. This part of the story was important for Spike's anxiety about making it in time to see Rarity: he lacked closure from "the other unicorn".

Thanks for asking.

2124502
Ah!! Okay I'm a go retrieve the broken pieces of my psychie now. Would you ever make a Spilight?

2124274
Thank you so much for your comments. I was very pleased to see you return, as you were one of the first to say good things about Fluttershy's Birthday and to follow me. I hope I can continue to earn that privilege.

As to the Princesses, yeah you probably got me there. I wanted to portray Spike as disaffected but resolute, so I didn't give him any real allies in the story. He's on his own now, for better or worse.

I'm waiting for others to call me on some missing characters. After all, I didn't mention any of the CMC—especially Sweetie Belle—and odds would be they would still be alive. At one point, I thought she might sing a song at the funeral, but I'm glad I changed my mind.

2124512
Sorry? :fluttercry:

Would you ever make a Spilight?

Certainly not anything romantic, a mother-son relationship possibly, but a lot of other folks have done some good work exploring that ground.
Right now I've got sort of a trilogy of Twilight stories "in process": they are only loosely related but all feature Twilight. The first should be out next week if I can manage it: :rainbowwild:, :twilightblush:, a book of historical fiction, and a dare involving sock washing. I've yet to figure out how I'm going to tag that story.

2124583
That sounds like a comedy if I ever heard it. Why though? Nice romantic fluff isn't so bad I believe exploring the boundary and how far you can push it before it tips over into actual romance would be quite a delightful challenge.
Why aren't there more ponies in this? Hmm nah that would ruin the loner mood Spike set. Forget I asked.

Damn you! You pluck at the heartstrings, tear down the defenses, and leave sorrow so pure that is naught but true beauty.

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Thank you very much for your comment.

You pluck at the heartstrings, tear down the defenses, and leave sorrow so pure that is naught but true beauty.

I think you need to copyright that phrase before I steal it for my own use! :rainbowlaugh: Again, thanks very much.

2124599

That sounds like a comedy if I ever heard it.

The first third is, but with the remainder of the story, sans epilog, I'm going to click the "gore" box... Don't worry, I don't hurt Twilight or Rainbow, or any real pretend ponies, just pretend pretend ponies.

Why though? Nice romantic fluff isn't so bad I believe exploring the boundary and how far you can push it before it tips over into actual romance would be quite a delightful challenge.

Well, partially because Double Date really didn't get the response I wanted, so I'm not sure I have that type of thing down. I'd be interested in your opinion of it: it has a hot tub scene with the spa ponies, drinking, hangovers, and ponies dry heaving.

Why aren't there more ponies in this? Hmm nah that would ruin the loner mood Spike set. Forget I asked.

:eeyup:

Thanks for expressing so much interest! But now, I think I need to get some sleep. :twilightsmile:

This is writing of the highest caliber. That and it was really, really heart wrenching :raritycry:

Excellent work! :pinkiehappy:

Beautiful sir. Beautiful indeed.

I have read many another fic like this, but this one is so simple compared to that other one. Simple...yet powerful.

Thank you for a wonderful read.

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Thank you to both of you. I'm glad that I was able to achieve my goals with this story.

2128524

Thank you very much.

you told me you will halt doing bad things to Spike and Rarity, so are you going to make another Sparity fic?

Sort of, kinda. They are going to bookend a story that will mostly be Twilight by herself: it's a comedy so it's going to be tough for me. After your comment and Bennet001's, I think I'm going to have to sweeten up the relationship between the two unicorns and the little guy. He may be the luckiest dragon in Equestria. :moustache:

My little tag line there is an inside joke: there is a big story outline that I have that will probably never see the light of day. My favorite part of it, which I may recycle, has to do with Rarity in a gem hunt in a cave: things don't go well for her. :pinkiegasp:

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I'm not sure if I should say 'thank you' or 'sorry'. But certainly I must say thank you for reading and adding a comment.

2130036
Well, its your fault for making a story that hurts

But at the same time, I'm complimenting the fact that its so well written that it does hurt.

So... both sorry and thank you! XD

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:rainbowlaugh: You really made my day. Now all I have to do is stop laughing.
I want you to know, it's pretty darn hard to write and edit this stuff when you are crying. Can I use that as an excuse for any typos? :pinkiehappy:
I'll try to make the next story not hurt too much, just enough.

Thank you again.

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XD, not sure how well it works as an excuse but its worth a shot!

But good to hear I made your day, and your welcome with the thanks!

So... so beautiful. :raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:

2134192
Thank you so much.

I'll get some tissues for that mob of Raritys you have there. :twilightsheepish:

Ouch. Painful. And added to Twilight's Library.

2138950

Thank you and thank you.

Comment posted by Myrandall deleted Feb 19th, 2013

2138975
All he had really need was her.

You might want to redo that sentence.

2144554

Grumble, grumble: those "ed"s and "ing"s keep running away from me! :derpytongue2:
When ever I do that it makes me think that Mongo wrote that sentence for me.
Thanks very much for the read and the report! I'll queue it up for the next round of changes.

This was wonderful. It deserves more love.

2208268
Thank you very much, especially since you are reader number 300: that helped me each a particular goal. :moustache:
Could you tell me exactly how you ran into it?

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Glad to have helped! I managed to come across it while trawling the Spike Fanfictions group.

well, its time to go cry in the bathroom:pinkiesad2::raritycry:

2412666
I hope in a good way.
Thanks for the comment.

it was in a good way, this story was awesome: pinkiehappy:

That was absolutely beautiful. I started reading and was immediately sucked into this sad reality. I hardly even know what to say, which is a rare thing. You took this character, hurt him, and he accepted it. And it was beautiful. I wish I could say more, but my words are completely failing me. Great job.

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Heavens to Celestia that was a complement! May I hire you as my publicity agent? :pinkiehappy:

In this story, Spike has hardened his heart after the "other unicorn"s death, and he is determined that he will not be hurt again; I think he is only partially successful. I did a little work on a story with him reading the letter from the "other unicorn" that tries to make things clearer, but I'm not sure it would ever be finished or released.

Thank you very much for the read and the comment.

Hi there. I hope you don't mind, but I liked this fic so much I have put together an audio version of it on YouTube.

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So much thanks to both of you for this treatment. :heart:

...Rarity :fluttercry:
No...goddamnit, no:pinkiesad2:
Awww, man, that's rough:raritycry:
I'm not crying, I just...I just got something in my eye:fluttershysad:

2911837
I found I got lots of things in my eyes while I was writing this.
Thanks for the comment. Can I ask how you stumbled upon this story?

Beautifully written story. Couldn't hold back the sobbing when I heard Scribbler read it aloud. So much emotion and heartfelt love for Rarity as well as the Mane Six. "Five times before..." was were I lost it totally. Bravo!

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Thank you very much, and a special thank your for stopping by here after listening to Scribbler's version.

Hi there. ^_^ thought you might like to take a look at presentperfect's review of this on his blog.

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