• Member Since 2nd Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Tuesday

OleGrayMane


If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less / Keep me in your heart for a while—Warren Zevon

T

SIXTEEN YEARS OLD and still without a cutie mark, Apple Bloom faces an existential crisis until a new opportunity presents itself, one that might solve her problem—if she can take the first step.

It is deeper, more thoughtful and infinitely more interesting than any story I’ve ever read starring her. Well paced, emotional, and possessing strong, interesting characters, this is a story worth getting involved in. Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
PaulAsaran


Proofreaders: BlueBook and Tigerose
Special thanks to Cerulean Voice whose feedback on the first draft sent me back to the books.

Reviews by Cerulean Voice, Titanium Dragon, Meridian Prime, Loganberry, and PaulAsaran
Featured on Equestria Daily 14th Apr 2015

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 45 )

Oh, my. This was every bit as gorgeous and powerful as I remember it being.
Thank you for finally putting it out. It's a brilliant read. :rainbowdetermined2:

5694970
Thank you for spending the better part of an evening or two pointing me in the right direction and adding some quite amusing comments.

This might be my favorite version of Apple Bloom's cutie mark story and it fits her character and personality well.

This was actually....very, very good. Ive read plenty stories of the three getting their marks, but this one seems very powerful. Deserves much more attention!

5695186
5695850
5696999
Thank you all for your kind words.

Will there be any continuation... Maybe another one-shot of her on the island?

They looked like customers from the apple stand in town as the looked too stodgy for cider enthusiasts. There'd be no danger sitting behind them.

I read it and couldn't find anything else wrong with it. Applejack even has a friendship report to make! Kudos! I almost want you to continue the story, but I am afraid that will ruin what you have here. Beautiful.

5704273
Thank you and fixed.

5703164 and
5704273
I've never considered a continuation, and as Aatxe360 suggests, it would affect this story to some degree. I meant this to be a psychological story more than an adventure, one in which Apple Bloom becomes a pioneer in more than one sense of the word. While it is obvious that she will become a settler, my intent was to show her breaking away from the idea of a predetermined destiny. In that way, she becomes a pioneer in thinking about how to create a life of her own rather than waiting for it to be presented to her; she looks only for a path, not a destination.

Then again, she might not be alone, for I've always wondered how Sea Swirl, a pony with a cutie mark with two dolphins, makes a living in landlocked Ponyville. Perhaps there is an aquarium, a pony version of Sea World, or a pet store specializing in fish that I've missed.

Thanks to both of you for reading and commenting.

This story was very hard for me to read. A lot of it struck a bit too close to home - in both the best and worst aspects, in things I've lost and things I've never had.
But you know what? It was worth it.

5717630
I'm glad that you ultimately found it worthwhile.

A beautiful story, but, to be honest, I'm insanely curious over what the cutie mark looked like and never knowing is gonna be pretty bad. The dreaded unexplained cliffhanger. BUT, that's ultimately a really good ending, despite my curiosity. Nice story; it gets a favourite.
By the way:

Rainbow helped by hovering over her and making frustrated gestures

Hah, what a great help there Dashie lol

5727087
I'm glad you enjoyed some of the humor in the story. I tried to slip in a few chuckles here and there.
Thanks for the comment and thanks for reading!

I have written a review of this story; it can be found here.

Blame 5694970

5747744
I seldom associate "blame" with CV.
Thanks for the read and the review.

I really like Apple Bloom's struggles with herself over not having a cutie mark, how she has to fight constantly against bitterness and self-loathing. I also really like Applejack, how she keeps pushing Apple Bloom on her cutie mark in the beginning, but feels torn in the end.

In the show, we see Applejack as more supportive of the CMC then any other adult. Applejack gives them the clubhouse, Applejack asks them questions about their crusades and encourages them, Applejack takes them on errands to the train station, etc. At the same time, we know that Applejack is very protective of Apple Bloom, but she encourages Apple Bloom in all those crusades, some of which come off as fairly dangerous.
I think the key there is, Applejack is quite happy and willing to support Apple Bloom in any kind of cutie mark she could possibly earn, as long as that cutie mark is doing something in Ponyville. Even more than Apple Bloom getting hurt sky diving or ziplining, what Applejack worries about is that A) Apple Bloom might decide her cutie mark is somewhere far away, like Applejack herself did when she moved to Manehatten as a girl, or worst of all B) That Apple Bloom might travel to Manehatten and get a cutie mark in hedge fund financing or museum curation or some other talent that can't be properly expressed in Ponyville, and then Apple Bloom will live in some big city for the rest of her life. I think Apple Bloom leaving the farm for good might be Apple Jack's worst fear.

his gaze meet her's

*met

5754338
Fixed and thank you.

5753003

get a cutie mark in hedge fund financing or museum curation

Museum curation might be okay, but I think AJ might have problems with hedge funds.
Thanks for reading and thanks for that long comment!

5754505 Glad you read it!
I think museum curation and hedge fund management as a talent have the same problem to Applejack: There are no museums or hedge funds in Ponyville, so Apple Bloom would have to live in some big city far away (well, maybe Canterlot). If Apple Bloom did get one of those cutie marks though, I could definitely see Applejack lobbying Filthy Rich or Twilight Sparkle on the need for hedge funds or museums in Ponyville.

5754492 Very emotional piece. Extremely well written. This should have been in the feature box.

5754688
Thank you very much and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

This should have been in the feature box.

Although it's been a mighty cold winter, hell did not freeze over. Thanks for your support.

Heavy.

And neither us nor AB seeing her mark is only right.

That was great! I loved every bit of it.

And Granny is right. Apples(and Oranges) have pioneer spirit in their blood. What do you think Braeburn was doing in Appleloosa?

Or what about how Granny's family founded Ponyville? They had to have moved from somewhere else.
I can see why Applejack would be sad. They don't exactly have cellphones and email like we do.

I can see the future now. Apple Bloom with her own orchard and sturdy home. Maybe one of the local griffons will take a shine to her and they'll start a family. A litter of little hippogriffs flying around with apple related cutie marks.

Ri2

And then the whole town was eaten by griffons and Apple Bloom died. The end.

This has over four-hundred views at the time I am writing this, and I am mystified as to why it doesn't have over four-hundred up-votes.

I loved the ending, AB gets her CM and now, it just doesn't matter to her. She is content, and she knows who she is.
So much of your prose is beautiful, and perfectly fits the mood you are trying to convey.
This story is a Mona Lisa.
I wish I could comment more intelligently. You deserve learned praise.

I really enjoyed this story. It was an interesting take on applebloom that i havent seen before.

Great story! I really love it, and please continue the story. I know it's a lot to ask but would be amazing to see Apple Boom going on her journey.

5866394
I'm planing on writing of hippogriffs, but not in that fashion. I'm sure the extended Apple family would welcome little hippogriffs with open arms legs hearts.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

5868037
5868835
5869239
Thanks so much for your comments and as always, thanks for reading.

I'm not so sure about continuing AB's story on the island, as that sounds like a saga, and I'm no good at those. Plus, I think I've got enough stories in progress to last me until season 20 airs given the rate I work on them, that is. Perhaps something short in the future, then.

Nice story.

Good job.

Also: No sequels, please.

5870446

Also: No sequels, please.

:rainbowlaugh: Yes, sir!

Thanks for reading and commenting.

I have no idea what to say about this story, but I love it.

5913540
Enough said. :twilightsmile: I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Oh hey, you made EqD. Why didn't you tell me?
:heart:
That's the second time I've helped you get there. Makes me feel all warm and gooey inside.
Keep up the great writing.

I can't believe this story isn't more popular. I loved it! You did an amazing job writing it. :)

5985168
Thank you for the kind words. I'm so very glad you enjoyed it.

Amazing story. You deserve far more views, votes, and favorites than you have. This is probably my favorite Apple Bloom story on the site now. Thank you for this. :ajsmug:

6195273
Thank you for stopping by to read it.

Just finished rereading this for about the 3rd or 4th time. I keep coming back to this story, it just really speaks to me as a tale of hope and adventure! One of my absolute favorites. I'm surprised to see it's only in my 'stories I like' folder when it obviously deserves to be moved to 'the best of the best'! Time to fix that.

This story only gets better the more I reread it. Again, nice work old gray mane!

I took my time to get to this, but it was worth it -- a very satisfying psychological fic about AB. The intra-family relationships worked especially well, and the ending seems very fitting.

8256563
Glad you enjoyed it.

A grounded, plausible piece. I enjoyed it!

8968118
I'm glad you did. Thanks so very much for reading and commenting.

Login or register to comment