"If you write one story, it may be bad; if you write a hundred, you have the odds in your favor." - Edgar Rice Burroughs
Twilight and Applejack make a confession, hoping they will be accepted by their friends. Rainbow Dash horrifies them all by reacting not only with shock but hatred against the "unnatural acts"
Twilight suspects there's more to Rainbow's attitude than meets the eye.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ooh, lookie here. A bad description?
OOOH!
Hmm... Sorta interesting, but some grammatical errors detract from the chapter.
Yeah, not a huge fan of that. Nonetheless, will keep an eye on this.
Ooooh a shipping story how original
1709669 You and me. We're the only ones that aren't complete fools around here.
I am aware you said that this is a large departure in character.
But.
I'm sorry, but she just seems like a strawmare, and that's on top of the OOCness. Rainbow Dash would not do that to her friends. If that's the kind of thing she would do, she wouldn't be the element of Loyalty.
Verdict:
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdu71bSVGi1qjr9sx.gif
1709684
...?
Why is everybody else a complete fool? Is it because we are not commenting on the unoriginality of the shipping? Because that really isn't the problem with this fic.
1709707 Actually, it's a quote from Skyrim, directed at the user by the name of Riften Guard. I wanted to see if he would notice.
1709716
Ah. Makes sense, but somewhat confusing. Does that make sense?
...
I think I see what you're going for here. I think you could have done it a little more delicatly. It might have been more in character for Dash to lash out at her friends being involved in romance (going all mushy on her) than to have her so homophobic. The same point could have been made- she's against it because she can't admit who she is, but it might have been more in character.
Also, you either need a line of space between paragraphs OR you need to indent the start of each one.
Other than that, I adored Apple Bloom's reaction, and I do love some TwiJack. I'll see where this goes if you'll fix the line spacing in the next chapter, and don't turn it into FlutterDash.
Feel free to PM me if the haters get you down.
1709761 ...kind of?
1709684
You're the first one that made a replied to me without the arrow to the knee joke in it
Interesting thing you got here, dood. But my brain thinks something is the matter here...
Mostly Rainbow Dash being super against lesbian-relationships...not because she is a walking pride symbol but because she is the element of loyalty, and thus, she wouldn't leave a friend hanging... All that yelling Rainbow did was something I'd expect coming from AJ or Rarity when she is a bad mood.
Still, despite being a shipping story being done all the bloody time (Twijack being uncommon among the shipping industry) not too often that you get a ship fic where one of the key players goes beast mode over something like two ponies that love each other since most of the time everyone and their grandma is going "ahh how cute, they deserve each other" where no one is going "How about NOPE" so I'll keep an eye on this, dood.
Proof-readers have been saving my butt from time to time...might help you out.
1709793 I used to post discreet Skyrim quotes, but then I too-
*Sierra is shot by internet.*
1709803
Where did that arrow to the knee thing come from, anyway?
1709899 Skyrim. One guard said the line, and people applied it all over the internet.
>uses Twilight, Rainbow and Applejack tags
>also uses Mane 6 tag
th09.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/f/2011/243/f/8/jensen_facepalm_by_gomios13-d48efuv.jpg
twijack got me, not enough of them around, yes there are problems in the chapter but everyone starts someplace. :D im not good with grammar and stuff, thats why you dont see me wright things, or yell at people who dont do it right! either way looks like it could be good, hope to see more of this soon
well that escalated quickly
Pretty good, though I wonder whether or not Dash has a reason for being so judgmental
I>>1734087 Could Rainbow Dash possibly be...a fillyfooler herself?!?
1734912 That's my reasoning so far, unless it's been cemented into her head by her parents (all too common for my liking).
1734912
Way I see it she probably is, but parents, siblings and/or previous friends made her dislike them, heck I wouldn't be surprised if Gilda had something to do with her attitude given they were supposedly good friends during the Junior Speedsters, which would probably be the time she would be thinking about things like that.
I'd also not be surprised to find that part of her outburst when Applejack and Twilight revealed that they were a couple was because she wanted one or both of them herself, probably buried under at least some self hate for feeling that way about another mare, but still jealousy and anger tend to get mixed in together fairly regularly.
1736103 That's another possible reason.
1738977 If Rainbow Dash is indeed a fillyfooler herself, maybe she discovered that she was attracted to other mares earlier during her life but she might have witnessed how other fillyfoolers are treated badly by homophobes and she decide to bury her attraction to other mares and force herself to be somepony she wasn't.
Pretty cool fic
sad its over 
At first I was like:
An Applespark ship? Oh god yes
First sentences:
Later:
Later
At the end:
Overall rating:
Meh
MY GOODNESS! people on this site sure are harsh...
ill be frank, its not the best fic ive ever read and its a little bluntly written but i like what youre doing and im glad that youre writing it.
and what on earth is wrong with ship-fic? everybody likes different things.
peace -S
first the bad, then the good. i feel critiques are important to grow and i know its kinda awkward to write about ponies and very human subjects...anyway
it was choppy and it did feel forced at some parts. pretty trope-y but tropes are relate-able for a reason.
it was very interesting and worded well. i liked the camp story very much. i really enjoyed how, with the exception of RD's pretty intense OOC, the characters sounded very much themselves. pretty impressive. =)
peace, -S
Read this story from beginning to end, and loved it. I think it was very well-written. I really liked the romance between AJ and Twilight. I would have liked to see more of it though. It felt a little underplayed in the last chapter especially, but I guess we got a decent share of it in the first two chapters.
From the start I had a feeling Rainbow was just suppressing her own feelings as a filly fooler, but I never thought you'd go in as deep as you ended up going. I thought that part was excellent. I think you did a good job setting up this as the conflict of the story.
The way the town treated RD in chapter 2 felt just a little bit over-the-top, but I think I can look past that.
I like the writing style. You had good mechanics. I like how you referenced certain events on the show, the moral was great, I like how you gave Lyra and Bon Bon a decent part, everyone was pretty much in character. You just did a great job here!
This story was magnificent!
That was sooooo heartwarming. I can't believe this story has any down-votes. TwiJack is a great ship and stories that look into the why of Rainbow Dash always get to me. This was a perfect storm for my interests.
Great story!
I hate to be the one bad apple in a bushel, but the premise is so overused. (spoiler) They have a wonderful lovelife and happiness and joy, but something is keeping them apart. I did read the whole story. I wouldn't have minded it as much except that i wanted to barf a rainbow every time applejack opened her mouth. I have nothing wrong with the ship, but the romantic parts made me cringe.
6303047
Well, I'm pretty sure Mareosexual, wasn't my word. But I can't remember where I got it. Go ahead and use it all the same.
The less memorable Stalliosexual, that was mine. you can use that too. If you want.
you know I never thought of it the first time I read this but I think you should do a continuation of this with Rainbow finding someone that she wants to be with and overcoming her inner daemons... yes its been done before but this story give's it more understanding of why RD is doing what she is doing and that she will have AJ and Twi to help her along the way...
I dont know, I thought It would be an ok idea
also, wow I first read this when you first posted it: kind of shocking to think that was just over 3 years ago!
1711112
It’s because that it mainly focuses on the three but the others are still in the story