The mare doth protest too much, methinks
Fanfic by englishwitch
Disclaimer: The following is an entirely fan-created parody. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, it’s characters and all other affiliated merchandise are the intellectual property of Lauren Faust and Hasbro. Please support the official MLP: FiM show.
I make no profit, or money at all, for the production and distribution of this fanfiction.
Chapter 3
Twilight thought she heard something nearby. She stopped, pricking her ears and turning her head slowly. There it was again, it sounded like a hammer blow. Then it came again and again a few seconds later. Who could possibly be hammering something out here? Her first thought was the Cutie Mark Crusaders but Applebloom was still back at the farm and the gang always did things as a trio.
Her curiosity aroused Twilight deviated from the road and started toward the hammering noise. It was faster now, a rhythm was building. Now that she was getting closer Twilight could hear something else below the pounding, like grunts of exertion.
The noise was coming from a little copse of trees. With every grunt and pound one of the trees would shake. Twilight caught a flash of something blue between branches and it was Rainbow Dash. There weren't any other cyan ponies who could fly that fast, not in Ponyville. Twilight decided to approach slowly, just in case Rainbow got it into her head to take out her frustration on more than a tree. Unlikely but, then again, Twilight would have thought Rainbow Dash's furious outburst over her relationship with Applejack was unlikely.
Dash flew at a tree and punched it with her forehooves. What Twilight had mistaken for one powerful blow was really a series of six or seven hits done in such rapid sucession Rainbow's forelegs were just a blur. The grunt of exertion came when Rainbow kicked off the tree's bark, sending her flying across to another tree, where she did the same thing again and again.
Twilight watched her for a few seconds. Dash looked like she was trying to buck the trees right out of the ground. She was working herself up into a frenzy. Twilight thought that even if she shouted Rainbow wouldn't notice her. She punched and flew faster and faster until she was leaving rainbow contrails in her wake, which she blasted apart into rainbow fog on her next pass. It was a weird sight to see the rainbows break like that, the wisps swirling and fading in the air as though a hundred miniature sonic rainbooms were going off at once.
Rainbow's cries were constant, building in intensity and volume as she pushed herself harder and harder. Her wings burned, her forelegs were numb, even her head swam with confusion of too many rapid turns and the g-forces she was subjecting herself to. She was pushing herself to her limits and beyond but it wasn't enough. The pain, the dizziness, the confusion, even the cold numbness of her hooves wasn't enough. She wasn't moving fast enough. Things were going grey around the edges. She pushed, harder and harder. She needed to move faster!
...***...
"Ra...ash" The ghost of a whisper drifted across her ears. "Rai...Da..."
Something cold hit her face. Then there came pain. Deep throbbing pain. There didn't seem to be a part of her body that didn't ache. Her head it pounded like a drum. There was a dull throbbing in her ears, rapid and never ending. What was it?
"Rainbow Ca...er Me!" More of the something cold and wet hit her face.
Rainbow Dash found her eyes opening. She regretted it. Everything was too bright, painfully bright. There was a large dark blur overhead. With grunts of effort the shape came into focus. Twilight Sparkle, looking down on her with deep concern. There was a large bubble of water floating over her head. Even the faint glowing of her horn was painful to Rainbow' eyes.
"Thank goodness you're awake." Twlight's voice seemed to come from far away. "Try and drink." A tentacle of water rose out of the ball, stretching out, growing and reaching Rainbow's mouth. The cold liquid was welcome and Rainbow sucked and drank like the simple water was the most delicious thing she'd ever tasted. Twilight let Rainbow drink until her belly looked fit to burst, then pulled the water back. "I'm going to try a healing spell. It's nothing fancy but it'll help take the pain away."
To Rainbow's eyes Twilight's horn glowed as bright as the midday sun in the height of summer, and she was staring right into it. The noise and whine of the energy building up was like stinging in her ears. Then, just when she thought she couldn't handle it any more Twilight discharged the energy. Dash gasped, her back arching painfully. It felt like being struck by lightning. Then the lightning bolt faded and her whole body itched, tingled and burned like she had body-wide pins and needles. Within seconds that ache too faded and Rainbow Dash was left lying on the ground out of breath and feeling like she needed to sleep for at least a week. The pain had gone though, her wings no longer felt like they'd been burned off, her hooves weren't throbbing like nails were jammed into them and the world was no longer too bright.
"What happened?" Dash asked. Her thoughts were starting to clear but the last few minutes were a blank. The last few hours weren't too clear.
"You blacked out and hit a tree." Twilight explained. "It was so scary. I thought I heard something break." She shuddered as she remembered the sickening crunch and the way Dash's body was all floppy and limp when she crashed to the ground. "I don't think you're hurt seriously, but you're going to be sore in the morning."
Her thoughts cleared enough for Dash's short term memory to kick in. She tried to sit up, almost collapsing again in the wave of dizziness that smacked her. "What did you do to me?" She demanded.
Twilight looked at her confused and upset. "Just the healing spell."
Rainbow shook her head and started looking down at herself. She fought through the disorientation and got to her hooves. She twisted her head left and right, struggling to look at her rump. "Not the spell." She snapped angrily. "What did you do to me while I was out?" She stopped trying to look at her rump and glared at Twilight.
It dawned on Twilight what Rainbow was trying to say. She went from looking upset to looking angry. "Rainbow! I didn't do anything to you. I would never do anything to anypony who was hurt. I would never do anything to anypony without their consent. I'm not a deviant without any sense of morels or conscience."
"Same thing in my book." Dash muttered bitterly.
"Is that what you think of me?" Twilight asked, her tone was one of hurt that did, for a second, make Dash feel guilty. "You think I'm capable of such things?"
"It's what you filly-foolers do." She muttered in a low, annoyed voice.
Twlight looked like she'd taken a bucking to the face. "Rainbow...that is a very offensive term." She said with slow patience. She didn't want to use anything that sounded lecturing and confrontational. It would only put Rainbow on the defensive and then she would stubbornly refuse to listen to anypony. "We don't do anything with fillies or colts. Just adults. Consenting adults. That's why we prefer the term mareosexuals or stalliosexuals.
"But, what offends me isn't the word fillyfooler." Twilight continued, the beginnings of tears in her eyes. "It's that you could think me capable of doing such horrible things like taking advantage of you while you were unconscious and hurt. We're friends Rainbow Dash. We know each other. All the things we've been through together. Nightmare Moon, Discord, the Changeling invasion, saving the crystal empire. You know me as well as I know you. Do you really, in your heart, believe I would ever do such a thing?"
Rainbow stared at her for several seconds of silence before hanging her head. "Well...I guess not." She said shamefully.
Twilight risked taking a step closer. "Where does this hatred come from Rainbow? What have I done to earn this anger and distrust?"
Rainbow put her hooves to her head like she was in pain. "Stop it." She growled. "You're trying to confuse me."
Twilight didn't stop. "We've known each other and trusted each other for so long. "I gave you your first Daring Doo book, helped you discover your love of reading. You stood by Applejack when Flim and Flam tried to steal their farm. You've been my best friend through so much. Why does this one thing change our friendship so drastically?"
Rainbow Dash shook her head. "I...I can't." She tried to fly but Twilight put a hoof down on her tail to hold her down.
"We love you like you're family Rainbow. We're the same ponies you've always known. Why does this one fact change things so much? Why are you so angry?"
"Why aren't you ASHAMED?' Rainbow slammed down onto the ground and shouted in her face. Twilight staggered back, shocked by the volume and ferocity. With her tail free Rainbow could escape but she didn't. Her wings hung limply by her flanks, her head and eyes were downcast. Even the bright colours of her mane looked like they were a shade darker. "How can you hate me more than you hate yourself?" She asked in a flat tone.
"I don't hate myself Rainbow." Twilight replied calmly. "And I don't hate you either."
"But you're a fill- a Mareosexual." Rainbow said in a low voice. A voice Twilight had never heard from her cyan friend before. A tone completely devoid of energy, enthusiasm or spirit. Even at her saddest Rainbow usually had at least one of the three in her voice but now she sounded drained, completely empty of physical or mental strength. "It's shameful. It's disgusting. It's wrong." She was repeating the same things she'd been saying again and again but there was none of the emotion she usually poured into them. She was just reciting them in an emotionless voice, like a filly would recite their lines at a school play.
"Say's who?" Twilight asked with genuine curiosity.
"Everyone." Dash replied. She sighed and her head twitched in a ghost of a head shake. "Well...no one in ponyville I guess...But...well...I don't know."
"Rainbow?" Twilight pressed, noticing that she hadn't answered the question.
"My parents okay?" Rainbow came close to sounding annoyed. Her eyes darted up and met Twilight's for a second, but fell away again. "but it's not what you think." She started pacing back and forth around the copse. Twilight, frankly, had been amazed she'd managed to sit still for this long. "They aren't, like, huge haters disapproving of everything. They just know what's right and wrong. They were right and I was wrong. They were looking out for me, like all good parents do."
"What do you mean they were 'Looking out for me'?" Twilight asked.
Dash froze, her back to Twilight. Her eyes widened as she realised she'd said too much.
Twilight approached slowly, she spoke carefully. "Rainbow, I came looking for you so I could talk. So I could help you understand. But I'm starting to think you also need to help me understand."
Rainbow sighed heavily. She kept her back to Twilight and her eyes to the ground. It just made it easier. She hadn't spoken of this, heck, she hadn't even thought of this for years. Not since...She pushed that thought away.
"I was just confused." She said quietly. "They helped me see that. They all did." She hung her head in shame. It was wrong. She shouldn't be talking about this. That time was over and done with and best left in the past where it could be forgotten. Forgotten, like it had never happened at all.
"I was young. All hormones and no sense." She explained. "I was at Junior Speedsters Flight Camp...and...well...I..." She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. "Gilda." She said at last. She was glad Twilight wasn't facing her. She could feel herself blushing furiously. "She was there for some student exchange program. Gilda came to study pony flying techniques and some pegasus was learning Griffin techniques in their flying school.
"It was the first time I'd seen a griffin. I was so curious about her. She was so weird, but so cool. So wild. So exotic. She was different from anyone I'd ever seen before. And...I guess..."
For Twilight, some pieces were starting to fall into place. Not all of them, there were still a lot of unanswered questions. "You fell in love with Gilda?" Twilight said as delicately as she could.
"NO!" Dash snapped. She rounded on Twilight, the anger burned in her eyes. Then it was gone. Dash sat down but decided to face Twilight this time. She was holding her head high. She was going to explain and Twilight wouldn't get any more dumb ideas in her head. "It was just a stupid filly crush. Mom and dad explained it all when..." There was a slight flush to her cheeks. "Well..." She had to fight the urge to turn away from Twilight. She'd started this and was determined to get through it, but it was just so embarrassing. "I had a picture of Gilda from the school paper...mom caught me..." Her voice lowered to almost a whisper. "doing things...to myself...while I looked at it."
Twilight felt a blush of her own rising on her cheeks. Lots of thoughts ran through her head but she chose not to say a word. This was one time when silence was golden.
"Don't look at me like that." Dash snapped, an annoyed look twisting her features. "It was a stupid crush okay? Mum and dad explained it all. Gilda was something odd, something new and exciting. I was just confused. I wasn't actually attracted to her. I was just fascinated by all the new and different things about her. That was all. Boys and girls were supposed to love each other. That's the way it worked. That’s natures way. That was the way it was supposed to be and anything else was wrong."
More pieces fell into place in Twilight's mental puzzle. She continued to stay silent and listen, nodding along at all the right places.
"And they were right." Dash said defensively. "I didn't know what I was doing. I shouldn't have..." She put a hoof to her mouth, her eyes widening again. She'd blurted out too much again. She just couldn't stop herself when she got into the flow.
"It's okay Rainbow." Twilight said with gentle patience. She almost sounded like Fluttershy trying to help a frightened animal.
"No. It's not okay." Dash replied angrily. "If I'd just listened to my parents none of it would've happened. They...I..." She growled in frustration and clutched her hooves to her head again as a headache returned. "Ugh...worst summer ever." She shook her head and leaned against a tree, tapping the back of her head against it several times. She realised it had been a bad idea only when it only made her headache worse.
"What happened?" Twilight asked in her fluttershy tones.
"It was so stupid. I should've just listened to what mom and dad said and sorted my head out. Dammit!" She rubbed at her eyes and exhaled a heavy breath for a long time. "I should have left Gilda alone. If I'd stayed away from her I wouldn't have gotten so mixed up and..." She suddenly leapt up with a flap of her wings. She hovered a few feet in the air and rounded on the tree. With a grunt of anger she pounded at the trunk six times in rapid succession. Not as fast as she had done before. Her arms and hooves were still tired and sore despite Twilight's spell. After her fit of blows had stopped she landed back on the ground heavily and took several deep breaths. She'd heard they were supposed to help you calm down but they weren't helping right now. "Me and Gilda got to know each other." She finally began talking again. "I thought once I got to know her and all the stuff that was different because ordinary then that stupid crush would go away."
"It didn't?"
"Stop trying to confuse me." Dash snapped. She got to her hooves and started pacing the copse again. "That's what you're doing. You're twisting everything and trying to muddle me up. Trying to trick me somehow. I don't know why the hay I'm telling you all this. You're trying to hear about the stupidest thing I've ever done to make something out of it. You're wrong though. You can't find something that isn't there."
Twilight felt frightened and took a step back from Dash. "I wanted to hear this because I'm your friend." She said cautiously. "And, I think, you started to tell me because you wanted to help me understand."
Rainbow let out an unladylike grunt. "There's nothing to understand. I did something stupid and I paid for it."
"But what?" Twilight pressed but Rainbow shook her head furiously.
"NO!." She yelled. She'd already said far more than she wanted to, dragged up memories shed hoped she'd never have to go through again. They had crawled out of the darkest depths of her brain and now sat there on the surface as raw and painful as the day they had been made. Dash opened her wings, Twilight jumped in before she could take off.
"Rainbow, please. You've raised more questions than you've answered." She approached the mare, who was clearly in some kind of distress. It hurt Twilight to see her like this but she needed to know more before she could help her. "Dash, we're friends, but all this hate you've shown Applejack and me...it could be the end our friendship. I don't want it to be, Applejack doesn't want it to be and, deep inside, I don't think you want it to be either. But...if it has to be...if that's what's going to happen and my relationship with AJ is going to be the end of us being friends then I have to know why. It's my nature. I have to understand. I have to know the answers."
Dash grunted again. Something inside told her to leave, that this was some kind of trick by Twilight to confuse her like she'd been confused all those years ago. She wouldn't fall for her crafty tricks. She wouldn't go through that again.
Then there was another voice. This voice told her Twilight was right, at least in part. Twilight should be told, should be made to understand. After all they'd been through together, she owed it to them. And maybe, just maybe, it would help Twilight realise the truth and make her see how things were supposed to be.
"I kissed Gilda." She growled.
Twilight said nothing but her look seemed to speak volumes to Rainbow.
"I don't care what you're thinking!" She yelled. "It wasn't like that!" She kicked her back legs in frustration, sending up clods of dirt and grass behind her. She bucked and jumped around the copse for a few minutes, finishing up by bucking a tree so hard the green leaves rained down on them like a swarm of parasprites.
Rainbow sat, panting heavily, sweat running down her flank. As fit as she was she had exhausted herself with her activities of the last few hours. "I just let my urges get the better of my common sense." She said in her tired voice. "I acted on impulse and it was the worst thing I ever did."
"What happened?" Twilight asked gently.
Dash looked annoyed for only a few seconds. The fight had all but left her now and she just didn't have the energy to resist Twilight's gentle persuasion any more. "Gilda and I ended up sharing a dorm room at camp. Three other ponies were in there too. Would have been four but Gilda needed two pony sized beds to herself."
Twilight nodded, remembering that Griffins were naturally larger than ponies.
"It was late and we were talking about stuff." Rainbow continued. "The kind of stuff girls end up talking about I guess. Times at camp, jokes, flight routines...then boys...and relationships and stuff." A blush started rising on her cheeks. "Then sex." She almost squeaked the word out like a frightened Fluttershy. "Gilda talked about how she'd seen a few colts who were cute, for ponies. She said none compared to a griffin though. If even half the rumours were true, then she didn't let that stop her." Dash kicked one hoof at the ground, she was uncomfortable talking about this. It made all the old confused feelings rise up again. She thought she'd left them behind long ago but there they were, dancing through her head. At the end of the day she was still that dumb, confused, filly. "She had a major rep by then but she didn't confirm or deny anything. Except one story." Dash turned her head from Twilight. She didn't want anypony, let alone a friend, seeing her like this. "We were talking about how far we'd gone with guys. She talked about a couple of flings with some griffin guys back home and how she'd done a little flirting with a few colts at camp, who obviously were just after her so they could boast they'd dated a griffin once." Her head started to lower, moving toward the angle of shame. "I don't know how but we went from relationships to sex. Gilda started talking about the major difference between a guy griffin and a pony colt wasn't Size"
Twilight figured what she meant.
"Male griffins have barbs on their...parts..." Her blush had turned rose read. "Gilda said that it made relations less interesting because you had to be more sure you liked a guy before you let him...enter you. Once he was in, he wasn't coming out until he was done. Not unless you wanted the barbs to...cut." Dash and Twilight winced at the thought of something cutting them in that most sensitive of pony parts. "No quickies among griffins. And if you get caught halfway through..." Dash muttered, hoping to keep the conversation moving so her mind didn't dwell on the unpleasantness. "She said that's where ponies were luckier. They could pull apart if they had to. They weren't stuck together until the guy was...tired."
Dash had to stop to take some deep breaths, trying to calm herself. All this talk about sex was making a heat rise between her legs. Her wings were still spread wide and it had nothing to do with the urge to fly anymore. Just like the male peacock spread his tail feathers to display for females, pegasus ponies (both male and female) wings would stiffen when they were sufficiently aroused to display to potential companions they were ready to mate. It was instinctive and out of her control, going right back to the days before ponies discovered fire.
"Out of curiosity I asked Gilda if she'd tried any colt. Actually I think my words were 'Talk, talk talk, I bet you're too afraid to put your flank where your beak is.' She found it funny, I guess. Then she told me about Brolly. He was a white stallion on the camp hoofball team with Gilda. They'd both been put on clean up duty after practice, y'know putting all the equipment back in the store rooms and stuff. Dull, dull dull. Coach always had to pick two ponies at random because he never had any volunteers. Gilda and Brolly got talking while they cleaned up. Then joking. Then flirting. Then they decided to share a shower." Rainbow Dash shuffled uncomfortably on the ground. That stirring between her legs was just getting more irritating. "She bragged about his stamina, even tired out after practise he still had enough energy to keep up with her. Brolly became really popular with the mares after that day." Rainbow hated herself at that moment. She was aroused and there was no denying it but the thing that made her feel shame in that arousal was that she wasn't thinking about Brolly and his amazing stamina, but Gilda and her furry flank. The look on her face as she recounted the details of that sneaky, steamy, session in the colts locker room. The details of how his ponyhood made her feel once they'd managed to work around the biological difficulties of her size. Though she was still an adolescent Gilda had already been the size of a full grown griffin, making her half a head taller than a pony of the same age, and twice as long if you included her tail. In Gilda's words 'The dude was more than up for the challenge.' Then she had winked.
"She insisted on going into detail." Dash continued. She had no idea how long she'd been silent. Twilight had been about to press her to continue. "And it got me all...y'know...worked up." She glanced over her shoulder at her spread wings. "Gilda found it hilarious." She admitted with shame. "I don't know what made me do it but..." Her voice trembled with nerves. "Well...while she was laughing at my wings I..." She shook her head, feeling a sting in her eyes that signalled tears wanting to fall. She didn't cry. Crying wasn't cool. Still the need was there. "I kissed her." She said in despair. "I don't know why, I just did. I grabbed her head in my hooves and kissed her right on the beak." She tapped a hoof hard against her head. "Dammit I was so stupid. I can't believe I did it. She just so me so worked up. My wings were flared and she was laughing at them and she kept insisting on going into graphic details about Brolly and..." She hit herself again with the other hoof and let out a loud cry of exasperation. "Arrrgg! My instincts got the better of me. I don't know, it was like my brain just decided to go one vacation. By the time it got back to work it was too late." With another cry of anger and frustration she planted her face into the grass and put her hooves over her head.
"I take it Gilda didn't respond well to your unexpected advances?" Twilight tried to ask with as much tact and gentleness as possible.
"It wasn't an advance!" Dash shouted, her head darting up from under her hooves. "It was just a temporary loss of control because she'd got me too horny with her sex story!" She pounded at the ground furiously, her head shaking slowly from side to side. "I tried to explain but she didn't listen. She roared in my face. That woke up our room mates. Heck, I bet it woke up the whole building. And the ponies in the next cloud over. Gilda was furious. She was yelling so loud. Then she whacked me." Twilight noticed the right wing twitched involuntarily. "My flying was off for weeks while those feathers to grew back. Gilda was yelling so loud, everypony knew what I'd done. It was so embarrassing I had get outta there." She looked at Twilight angrily, as though daring her to say something.
"I spent the rest of the night sleeping in the nurses office. She was annoyed in the morning. How was I to know that was a fire blanket? It said blanket on the box so I used it." She shook her head. "By the time I turned up for breakfast everypony knew what I'd done. I couldn't go anywhere without someone laughing at me about it." She started to hoof the ground again. "One stupid loss of concentration and for three weeks it's all 'Rainbow Pride!' and 'Dash the filly-fooler' 'Tail-licker Dash.' and girls saying 'I ain't turning my rump on you!' and stuff about 'Walking on the wild-side.' and 'liking em exotic.' and 'liking pussy.' Y'know cause Gilda's half lion and lions are cats." She growled lowly. Beneath her hooves the ground looked like it had been furrowed. "Just weeks and weeks of it constantly. I couldn't get away from it. Not even at home." She sighed in frustration. "My mom and dad visited for a parents day. Damn idiots couldn't lay off me for one lousy, stinking, day! One yell of 'Tail-Licker' and the whole damn thing came out. I didn't tell them everything, I couldn't, but I had to tell them I kissed Gilda. They were so mad. They were yelling at me worse than the other students. They told me how stupid I was for giving in to those unnatural acts. How much shame and disappointment they were feeling because I'd done something so disgusting and perverted. Mares and Stallions, Mares and...whatever the hay a female griffin is called."
"Oh Rainbow, that's awful." Twilight said comfortingly. Dash glared at her.
"NO! Because they were right. It was disgusting. I tried telling them it was a mistake. Tried explaining but they wouldn't listen. They just kept yelling louder and I kept getting angrier. Eventually I just lost it. I..." She sighed as her anger broke and the guilt and shame clung onto her with heavy claws. "I bucked my own father in the flank and flew away." She shook her head, eyes closed and head hung in shame. "I was so angry. I flew all the way to the storage rooms. I broke in and stole one of the storm clouds they use for stunt flying practise. I stole a category 5." She noticed Twilight's blank expression. "That's a full-blown hurricane. Camp seniors are only allowed near those things and only when they're wearing safety gear. I pushed the cloud right over the main camp building and bucked it into action." Despite the shame in her voice Twilight thought she saw a tiny spark of pride in the corner of Dash's eye. "That first thunder crack was so loud my ears were ringing for days. It took them twelve hours to wrangle that cloud back under control.
"The teachers suspected I was responsible. My fight with my parents then a hurricane happens, I was suspect number one. But Gilda bailed me out with an alibi."
"Gilda?!" Twilight exclaimed. After everything that had happened to Rainbow because of Gilda, the griffin had actually helped her?
"Yeah. She thought it was cool I stood up to my parents like that. Bucking my own dad, not even she would have the courage to stand up to her father. Then she thought it was awesome that I'd trashed the camp, not one room, or one building but the whole camp, not to mention I used a cat-5 cloud to do it. Adults guide those babies in groups but there I was, one little pony, freeing it, guiding it, then kicking it into action, all alone. She said anypony who would do that just to get even with some bullies was awesomely cool in her book. She decided to accept my apologies and finally accepted I had just made a mistake in the heat of the moment. She made the last few weeks of camp pretty cool for me, made everypony else lay off. By the time I went home everypony had pretty much forgotten those lies about me being a filly-fooler."
Twilight opened her mouth to remind Dash that filly-fooler was offensive. She didn't get chance to speak as Dash continued.
"Mom and Dad didn't forget. When I got home they wouldn't even talk to me. They let me live there but I was a stranger. They'd all but disowned their disgusting, perverted, filly-fooler slut of a daughter." She was almost yelling now, her voice laced with venom. She'd hooved the ground so much she'd dug two deep grooves in the mud. Dirt covered her legs up to her knees but she didn't notice. "If I was a real filly-fooler they'd have every right to do that. But they wouldn't listen. They never accepted I just made a mistake. One little mistake. Everypony else could get over it why couldn't they?" She shook her head angrily and started pacing again. Her wings were starting to lower back to her sides now. The arousal was dying under the fire of her anger. "I got outta there. As soon as I could I got into weather training college and checked out and got as far away from them as I could.
"I haven't gone home since and I'm glad I haven't." She said stubbornly. "If they're too stubborn, too sick in the head to realise I'm not a filly-fooler then I don't need them. If that's the best they can think of me, if they hear one little lie and believe those disgusting things, then I'm better off. I've raised myself longer than they raised me and I turned out just fine."
And there it was. All the pieces were in place, the puzzle was complete and Twilight could see the image clearly. Rainbow hated mareosexuals because of the hatred, the bullying and even being chastised by her own parents, whom she hadn't spoken to for years because of that one event at Junior Speedsters flight camp. She showed them the same hatred, disgust and intolerance everpony else had showed to her. Twilight was reminded of a recent visit by Babs Seed, cousin to Applebloom. The poor filly was so afraid of being bullied over her blank flank she'd turned into a bully. Rainbow Dash had gone through the same thing. So upset, so afraid, so traumatised, by the hatred against her when everypony thought her a mareosexual that she'd turned into one of the intolerant haters of gay ponies.
"Go on." Rainbow broke the silence. "I bet you've got some fancy egghead opinion. I bet you've got lots of theories and ideas you're just dying to share with me. I already know you've got it wrong."
Twilight said nothing for some time. She was busy absorbing and cataloguing everything Rainbow had said to her, committing it to her memory. "Rainbow..." She didn't know what to say. A thought occurred to her but she started to dismiss the idea. Yet, there was a lot of evidence. If she looked at everything Dash said, the way she reacted at times and the things that happened then there was only, really, one conclusion to reach. "Those feelings you had. Those emotions that you friends and family didn't understand, aren't wrong. They aren't unnatural. Love is the most natural emotion in the world. You saw with Cadence and my brother, when they banished the Changeling army from Canterlot, that it's the most powerful emotion."
"Cadence and your brother are Mare and Stallion. That's the way it's supposed to be. It's the way nature intended." Rainbow retorted. "What I felt with Gilda and the others was just some sick perversion that came up because I was confused."
"Others?" Twilight asked. "You didn't mention any others."
Rainbow's eyes widened so much they looked like they were about to escape from her head. She'd done it again, slipped up and spoken something she hadn't meant to. Her wings poofed out and she leapt into the air. She promptly fell back down. Twilight had used her magic to make a rope appear and had tied it to her leg then tied her to the ground by a protruding tree root.
"Rainbow-" Twilight started but was cut off again. Dash knew where she was heading.
"Spitfire and Fleetfoot okay?" She snapped. "But I only got crushes on them because they're Wonderbotls. You know how much I love the wonderbolts. My feelings got confused. That's all. Confused!"
"Did you get any crushes on any of the male wonderbolts?" Twilight asked calmly.
"Of course I did!" Dash jumped in before the question was even finished.
Twilight put a hoof over Rainbow's mouth to silence her. Their eyes met and Twilight spoke slowly and sincerely. "Think on it Rainbow. Don't just answer automatically. I want you to really think. Did you feel for the male Wonderbolts what you felt for the female ones?"
Rainbow Dash stared at her incredulously. What a dumb question. They were wonderbolts, of course she'd felt lusts for the stallions, and those would be good lusts, natural lusts. Not like the confused emotions she'd felt for Spitfire or Fleetfoot. She'd thought a lot about Firestreak, and Soarin. She'd certainly admired them. Their speed, their agility, the break-neck daring as they pulled through the negative G's of the Shooting Star; a half turn straight jump with a piggyback barrel roll that culminated in a full twisting double reverse suicide run. Nopony but Soarin and Firestreak had ever pulled it off successfully. They were amazing, she wished she could fly with them. Practise the trick, try and master it. She frequently imagined herself one day performing it with them. She admired and respected the two Wonderbolts. Adoration and respect, were they the same as the feelings she had for Spitfire or Fleetfoot? She loved all the Wonderbolts in the way any die-hard fan who wanted to be a Wonderbolt would. But Spitfire and Fleetfoot, when Dash thought about either of them there was more than respect. There was...
"No!" She snapped suddenly. "I don't know what you're talking about." She tried to fly again, forgetting the rope that held her. When she slammed back into the ground she closed her eyes and put her hooves over her head to shut out Twilight and the world.
"Please talk to me Rainbow, What's going through your mind?" Twilight pressed her as gently and patiently as she could.
"Nothing." Dash snapped, raising her head from her hooves. "There's nothing there. There isn't!"
Twilight sighed inwardly. Rainbow was being stubborn and bull-headed again. She was trying to be tactful, but her patience was beginning to wear thin. "I asked you a question Rainbow, about your feelings for the Wonderbolts and I'd like your answer."
"Stop trying to confuse me." Rainbow groaned, putting her head onto her hooves. "You're trying to brainwash me or something. It's not going to-"
"All I did was ask a question." Twilight interrupted. Her tone was louder and harsher than she'd intended. "And you still haven't answered it."
"I..." Rainbow clutched her head head her hooves, shaking violently from side to side. "I..."
Twilight's patience finally broke. "ANSWER ME!" She yelled.
"I LOVE THEM!" Rainbow bellowed back. Tears started to fall from her eyes and she lay down flat on the grass. "Sweet Celestia I don't want to but I do." She sobbed. "Every time I think of Spitfire it makes me happy. When I'm cloppin I always finish thinking about them, or some other mare." She hit her hooves against her head. She didn't notice Twilight blushing. "Mares. Always mares!" She broke down into floods of tears, unable to talk any more. Twilight didn't know what else to do. She placed a reassuring hoof on her friends shoulder. Rainbow Dash practically leapt into the lavender mare's arms and hugged her tightly, crying into her mane and shoulder. Twilight held her, firmly but gently, rubbing one hoof along her mane and back to reassure her. It was all she could think of, her mother used to do it when she was a filly when she'd had a bad dream.
It was some time before Rainbow Dash's tears became dry sobs and even longer before she'd managed to collect herself enough to pull away from Twilight's embrace. Her eyes were puffy and red, her face soaked, the fur matted together in two lines from her eyes to her chin. Rainbow turned her head from Twilight, hanging her head shamefully. "My parents were right." She said in a voice that was a dry croak. "I'm disgusting."
"No Rainbow, not at all." Twilight said, placing her hoof onto her friends shoulder. Rainbow Dash glanced at her, a doubtful look on her face. "The things you feel, whether they're for mares or stallions, are natural, beautiful and a part of who you are. As much a part of you as your wings. You should never be ashamed of love and I'm sorry that so many ignorant ponies, who didn't know better, made you feel this way for so long but they're gone and their words don't have to hurt you anymore if you don't want them to. You're not a bad pony, you just received some bad examples. It's over now, if you want it to be. You're surrounded by friends who love you, we won't judge you for who you really are, won't make jokes, poke fun, or make you feel bad. You won't have to ever feel bad for your natural feelings again. If you want us to we'll help and support you every day in every way."
Rainbow Dash hiccuped a couple of times. Fresh tears rose in her eyes. "I...I...hic...I don't know."
Twilight hugged her again. "I know it can't be easy for you. All your life ponies have told you all these wrong things so often you ended up believing them. You thought one thing but felt another. I can't even imagine how confusing that must be for you."
"Well..." Dash started but she couldn't think of anything to say. She could barely bring herself to tilt her head up to look at Twilight.
"I know." Twilight said. "We'll take it one day at a time. Okay?"
Dash managed a weak smile and nodded her head. "Okay."
...***...
"TWILIGHT!!!"
A ball of pink fury leapt at Twilight, squeezing her in a vice-like grip.
"Hi Pinkie." Twilight gasped. She struggled to breath, the hug was just too tight. The party pony jumped back, her grin so wide it almost reached her ears.
"I'm so glad you're here. Now we have both guests of honour and the party can really get going!" She bounced away, across the room, laughing all the way. Despite her manic movements she didn't bump into anypony. The main room of the town hall was packed with, what looked like, every pony in Ponyville. Twilight saw her friends watching her and Pinkie, smiles on their faces. Behind them Twilight saw the trio of Cutie Mark Crusaders, sitting under a table with an entire plate of cupcakes they had taken off a table.
"Hey Sugarcube." Applejack smiled. She stepped up and kissed Twilight on the cheek. Twilight returned the kiss. "Any luck finding Dash?" She added in a whisper.
Twilight nodded. "I'll tell you about it in a moment, I just have one important thing to do first." Applejack looked dubious but finally nodded. "Come into the back room in a couple of minutes. See if you can get the girls to come up too." Applejack nodded. "Thanks," Twilight said "you're the best."
Twilight walked away from Applejack, who wandered back to their friends. They looked confused that Twilight wasn't even saying 'Hello' but Applejack started to explain, the best she could given the limited information. Twilight wandered through the crowd of ponies. Everypony ducked at a sudden explosion but relaxed as a rain of confetti and streamers started to fall. It was just Pinkie with her party cannon. Twilight grinned as she spotted two familiar looking Mares.
"Hello Lyra, Bonbon."
"Hi Twilight." Bonbon replied with a smile. Lyra was too busy sipping away at a drink. She did nod her head in greeting though.
"Can I have a word with the two of you, in private?" Twilight asked. The two marefriends looked confused, Bonbon even looked a little worried, but they nodded and followed Twilight through the party and to a back room of the Townhall. It was a small office with stacks of filing cabinets and a musty smell in the air that the open window did nothing to dispel.
"What's this about Twilight?" Lyra asked curiously.
"Well...it's not easy girls. You have to promise me you'll stay calm and quiet and at least stay around long enough to hear what's said. After that, it's all up to you. Okay?"
The two shared another confused look. However they trusted Twilight and nodded and verbally promised.
"Okay. Girls, there's someone who has something to say to you."
From behind a filing cabinet came Rainbow Dash. Lyra flinched and Bonbon looked at her with both anger and fear, an odd combination but she managed it. Then, as Dash stepped into the light they were stalled for a second. Rainbow's mane was dishevelled, many strands of her multi-coloured hair were stuck up all over the place, her eyes wee puffy and red from heavy crying and her head was still hung low. Her eyes never met any of the three for more than a second or two before they fell to the floor again.
"Twilight?" Bonbon began.
"You promised you'd listen." Twilight reminded her. She walked over the Rainbow dash and placed a hoof on her shoulder. "Go ahead Rainbow." She said gently.
Rainbow gulped loudly. She looked at Lyra and Bonbon for barely a second before her eyes dropped again. Her head was screaming the same hateful things she'd always known. She felt the urge to yell at them now. But her heart told her the truth and she was listening to it now. She was such a mess and she had a long way to go to sort herself out. This was part of that. For the first time she was taking a step in the right direction. "I'm sorry." She managed to croak out in her dry voice. Her eyes stung but she managed to hold back the tears. "I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I'm sorry for picking on you and bullying you. I was..." A tear fell and she rubbed her face furiously with her foreleg. "I was ashamed of myself. I tried too hard to deny who I was and what I felt deep inside. I lashed out at you to..." She sighed and shook her head. "That's no excuse for taking out my anger on you. You didn't deserve any of it. Not one second of the hate I showed you. I don't expect us to ever be friends after all I did. I don't expect you to ever forgive me. I...I just wanted you to know that... with all my heart, I'm sorry."
Lyra and Bonbon looked at each other. They were wearing the same shocked expressions, first of all that Dash would apologise to them after all she had done and said to them. Second, if they had this figured right, Rainbow Dash had just admitted to them she'd been a closeted Mareosexual in denial. Lyra held up her hooves and shrugged her shoulders. Bonbon took a step forward and looked at Dash, who looked up at her with tears and shame in her eyes.
"Rainbow..." She stared at her in silence for a few seconds. A multitude of emotions danced across her face before she finally seemed to settle on acceptance. "I don't know if we can ever forget what you did to us."
"I know." Dash said in a barely audible sigh.
"And right now, I don't think we can ever be friends." Bonbon continued. "If a friendship would ever develop between us it would take a very long time before we managed to look past what you did."
"I know." Dash repeated. She seemed to shrink before her, as though trying to disappear into the floor.
"But..." Bonbon sighed. "We forgive you."
Dash looked up at her with shock and awe in her eyes. It was more than she ever would have hoped from them. Fresh tears rose on Rainbow's face, tears of happiness and relief this time. "Thank you. Thank you so much."
"It's okay Rainbow." Lyra said, stepping up beside Bonbon. "It was very brave of you to apologise." She looked at Twilight. "I don't know what you did, but thank you too. You've taken a huge burden off our flanks. If Rainbow is sincerely sorry-"
"I am!" Rainbow jumped in.
"Then we don't need to worry any more." Lyra found a smile rising on her face. "No more caution, or being afraid of hate mail or insults. We don't have to look over our shoulders for Dash to avoid her any more." Rainbow shrank lower onto the floor. "We can finally have the lives we've always wanted here in Ponyville." She stepped up and gave Twilight a kiss of gratitude on the cheek. Before Twilight could recover from this Bonbon stepped up and kissed the other one.
"Thank you." Both mares said at once. They turned and headed to the door. Before leaving Lyra looked over her shoulder at Rainbow Dash. The mare looked so lonely, ashamed, defeated and drained. Was this really the same pony that had terrorised them? Despite everything, Lyra actually felt sorry for her. "Good luck Rainbow." She said in as friendly a tone as she could. Then she left to catch up to Bonbon.
When the Marefriends had kissed Twilight, Dash had flinched instinctively and bit her tongue to stop the words coming out of her mouth out of habit. Her head was echoing with the yelling voices of her furious parents, the taunts of Gilda and all the ponies of Junior Speedster's Flight Camp, the hate, the laughs, every bad word others had said and she had echoed so many times. Twilight had said she didn't have to let it bother her any more but just letting go of more than half a lifetime of pain wasn't something to be done in one day. Probably not even one week, or one month. It dawned on Dash that she might never be able to let it go completely. What was she going to do? Take it one day at a time she guessed, working on ignoring the voices and listening to what her heart told her. Hopefully one day her heart would be louder than her head and the habitual hate, wouldn't be a habit anymore.
"Twi? What's goin on here?"
Rainbow Dash flinched at the voice of Applejack. She managed to get her eyes to look up and squeaked. If she wasn't so sure Twilight would just grab her Dash would try and fly out the open window. The whole gang was there, even Spike. They were looking at her and Twilight with various levels of confusion and anger.
"Come on in girls." Twilight said. "It's okay. Rainbow and I have had a long talk and, together, we've got a few things to say to you about why she acted the way she did." She placed a reassuring hoof on Rainbow's shoulder. Dash looked up into Twilight's smiling, encouraging face. The mare nodded down at her.
Dash felt a very cold tremble run through her body and she turned her head to the full, cold, attention of her friends. At least, she hoped they were still her friends. "I'm sorry." She began. "I've been so confused for a long time...but not in the way I thought I was."
...***...
Dear Princess Celestia.
Love is a magic all of its own and Twilight has taught me that these last few days.
For the longest time I listened to a lot of bad advice, and let the terrible opinions of bullies and ignorant ponies sway my thoughts and feelings to the point where I changed myself and the way I acted. I became something I wasn't. I ended up hating who I really was, all because of the way others treated me.
A pony must never change the way they act, even out of fear. It can be hard to stay true to him or her self when it seems like the whole world is against you but you have to hang on and keep fighting to be who you really are.
If somepony can't accept you for who you are then they don't deserve to be your friend. I know this because I almost lost the friendship of all those who are dear to me. When I heard Twilight and my friend Applejack were in love I found myself hearing those same pieces of bad advice my so-called friends and my family had told me my whole life. I found myself hating them. I thought my beliefs and opinions were right. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Twilight helped me see that my hatred of marosexuals was really me hating myself. The more I tried to deny who I was the angrier and more bitter I became to others. I ended up repeating the same things those terrible bullies used to say to me and, even worse, I found myself believing them too.
No matter what happens to you in your life, no matter what you do and what you face, I've learned, thanks to my friends, that you must always be true to your heart. It never steers you wrong.
I have a long way to go before I can fully accept who I really am. I held onto that hate and anger for so long that it is a part of me. A part of who I was. I'm trying and learning every day how to leave a little bit more of it behind me.
I know that with my friends at my side lending me a hoof all the way, that long journey won't be done alone.
Your loyal subject,
Rainbow Dash.