Just a random pegasister who writes to her heart's content
Applejack and Twilight Sparkle; Honesty and Magic, two best friends for years, a friendship that makes harmony for everyone, a pleasure. Then, on a warm, summer day, they take a look into each others' eyes, and something happened...A passionate silence.
{Edit: I've fixed those horrid spelling mistakea! So now you all can actually ENJOY the story!!}
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I love this ship. I love spell-check more.
A+ for effort!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ T H I S O N L Y L O O K S G O O D O N P M V S
OK i've been doing this alot recently. Get yourself ready now bub.
- surrounded
- losing
- unison
- each other
- yearning
- Swan
- thousandth
- eternal
- guardian
- elements
- riddance (on another note though this doesn't sound quite right)
- barely
- tarnation
- Ponyville
- disappointed
- You and I became (you seem to have a little bit of an issue with past present future tence. Might wanna do a lil' research on that.)
- "Ya didn't need to hide this from me."
- I can understand using strange but horrible might be a bit of a harsh word to use. While still harsh maybe disgusting or the less harsh weird.
- negative
- hat in front
- do you mean against?
- She's always there for me. (In my opinion using meh in this situation is going a lil' too hard on her accent. The one you used means my)
- Kinda redundant
- get rid of the quotations there
- each others friendship
- she set free the real
- Queen struck
- And when they tried to defeat him with all the ponies still discorded
- all the elements personalities
- Twilight and her five friends. Twi, Pinkie, AJ, RD, Flutters and Rarity. By mentioning Twi before you already covered her. Therefore only five. Less you're counting spike for some odd reason.
And oh god does there need to be more periods. So many commas. It's like a sea of commas. Seriously. I'm guilty of run on sentences as well but ouch. Look for spots for more periods.
Overall I do like the story to an extent. But you really need to edit it before throwing it to the wolves.
I hope you will take at the least my spelling criticism.
Good luck on this and future endeavors.
YBG out.
1503039
You are such a nice person. Pony. Brony.
I was gonna say something about spelling, maybe point out a few errors. But that's above and beyond.
*tips hat to you*
@Pegarony - follow the awesome advice given to you there. Your story will be much easier to read, and will cause less people to fear it
I love this pairing.
1503039
Oh my gosh thank you! All of these mistakes are all very silly! It does make me seem quite lazy
And run on sentances....UGGGG stupid things, I hate them, now I'll proabaly hate myself too
1503039
also, I feel like I need to ask you this
While I was editing, once I was done, I didn't see anything like a "done editing button" what do I click to add the changes I made?
1506320
It's a save button on the top. Looks like a Floppy Disc...You know what that is right? Lol jk
1506341
HMMM MAYBEEE....nah, I know what that looks like
thank you! I've editing the spelling (but there could always be something I missed), so now people won't run away from this story with mental scars, and I added in some periods, and took off some commas
1503635
I've edited the story, so no more scarred readers here
! (hopefully 
)
1506524
Huzzah! I will take a gander at this once I return home from a MC'D Run. I hope that my thumb will then be put to good use.
1502981
haha, fixed that
NO MORE PMV HERE
1502908
I've gone through And fixed (maybe almost?) all spelling errors!
Still so many errors with present and past tense stuff, it made me cringe in some areas, I'm sorry, it's a good story but cringe worthy for all it's errors.
Rushed. Badly rushed.
It could`ve been so much better.
I would love to read a Vinyl and Octavia story from you.
I know the paring is overdone but I love the way you wrote (or "typed") this.
This pairing is really starting to grow on me.
You do realize that punctuation marks go INSIDE the quotation marks, right? Not on the outside? But, otherwise, that was so sweet.
i love this story
i usually think this sounds stupid but this got me right in the Feels man
i hope to see more TwiJack i love that pairing
This was a great story. But I don't understand the passionate silence but it was still nice
I love this ship and the writing was superb