Equestria. A peaceful country of candy cane rivers and cactus mountains, plaid fields and rainbow colored oranges.
Wait a minute...that's not right...hang on, lemme...
*Flips the pages of his script, brow furrowing as he goes over it.*
Well this isn't right at all! Candy colored equines swimming in an ocean of oil as if it were made of clouds, pegasi flying backwards before they slam into brick walls in the sky, Rainbow Dash doing a Sonic Rainboom and- oh this isn't right!
*The Narrator stomps off towards Canterlot's throne room, screaming profanities.*
[A/N: Dark tags are to cover my bases. I might act on it, I might not, but the first chapter has no 'dark' atmosphere to it. Just good-hearted laughs.
Good-hearted laughs, if you're the Emperor, that is!
This complete spout of brutish nonsense is pretty much a vent for all my psychotic rambling. I thought it'd be funny to write a story like this, that's all.
Credit to Zytharros of FIMFiction for inspiring this crap with his own psychotic writing!
Credit to Sh2otingStar of DeviantART for the cover art! I'll go message him about its use soon.
And once again, if you see any errors, point them out! I'm not perfect, so I'm expecting someone with a keen eye to tear this story apart.]
This... oh god, this is WAY too awesome.
1446075
Glad you enjoyed my brand of humor!
The Artist who did the pic is Sh2otingStar and heres the link http://ponyhammer-40k.deviantart.com/gallery/35083533#/d4siqlx
1446296
Very much obliged, good sir. I'll add that to the description, hopefully direct some of my readers towards his art.
As a friend once said about a drawing I made,
But anyways, yeah. This is absolutely amazing!
1447904
Comment's much obliged, bud!
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4943-131224.png
1488398
Yes indeed.
That last part didn't even make any sense.
Wonderful. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png
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I felt it was a proper ending to the chapter, no matter how much sense it made!
Discord would be proud.
Delicious Chaos... *drools*
1548282
Succulent, with a side of insanity.
You have just earned my first favorite. Congratulations. I don't think I've seen Discord executed this well in a long time. Have my thumb. Do with it what you wish. Except that.
1773008
I shall place it upon my mantle and regard it with pride, good sir. I'm glad my writing was able to impress you!
1773015 Sir, I shall have a stab at thy other works of fiction in the morrow. Until then, I shall be resting and preparing for a lecture in human biology. That reminds me, I really should dissect some of those Republicans in my basement
1773022
Rumors have been circulating that they indeed have no heart. Send me your findings after the dissection, I'm quite interested!
1773036 I'm planning on sending this one off to the Emerald City. It has no heart, no brain, and as for courage...
Well, I half-expected him to collapse in the street in fear while I was driving the lawnmower at him.
1773056
Intriguing! How does its blood pump? Perhaps it simply moves through the power of bureaucratic paperwork processing!?
1773062 Oh no! They drain the blood of Mexicans and pump it into their body, rather than having all that precious room taken up by something like a heart. However, they occasionally need to be tied to the roof of a car and driven for 500 miles to recharge. Then they need to be driven for 500 miles more. Y'know, they just want to be that one guy that repossesses your front door.
1773077
An' I would drive five hundred miles, an' I would drive five hundred more...
Just to BE the man who re-pur-possed your front door an' that should do.
DA DA NA DA!
DA DA DA NA DA!
(I butchered the lyrics, sue me. This song is still awesome.)
1773126 *Leafy and Steel are drunk, mugs of beer in each arm while they sway along to the song*
If I get drunk, yes I know I'm gonna be!
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you!
1773138
*Steel chugs his beer, laughing like an idiot.*
DA DADANADADA!
1488398 Unless it's constant.
2327703
Impossible! Chaos is always awesome! As will be shown by the story, of course!
... Right?
How do you think of all of these ideas ?? I'm impressed ! Keep on chaoting (what ?) and I'll keep on following. Or don't. And I still will. Follow, that is.
...What ? Is there something on my face ?
2638473
Just a purple frog spewing Shakespeare.
You know, I read this whole thing so far. Didn't laugh once. Maybe I'm just "that guy", but I didn't even like Discord in the show. Why'd I read this, then? Sheer curiosity. Maybe someone could write a fic where he'd actually make me laugh, since I didn't laugh at all during his debut episodes and I'm dead serious. Not even Tom jokes did it for me.
But no, every single Discord fic is him being the same or even worse than he was in the show (usually the latter, but at least this fic did "the same" right). I can not laugh at anything he does. Even worse, people complain about a deus ex machina that only seems to exist when Discord's brought up. Even though King Sombra and Nightmare Moon were beaten by one too and no one complained then...
I got off track there. I might see if this doesn't end like all other Discord fics (i,e. Discord wins because screw you he's awesome), but I have strong doubts. Can someone please explain to me why he's so funny? I can't see the humor.
EDIT: Also, kudos to not simply saying "Discord lost because cliche/deus ex machina" within the text (at least blatantly).
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Actually, he's not gonna lose due to deus ex, or 'just because', and he's not gonna win for the same reasons either. I suppose the phrase 'Everything returns to Chaos' works here.
As for why he's funny? Well, if you like Youtube Poops, random jokes, or zany punchlines, then you probably like Discord. He's the crazy prankster with access to some of the most powerful magic in the country: modification of Reality. Be it illusion or true conversion of matter, he's pretty damn powerful. That just opens up a lot of options.
I didn't really go for making Discord himself funny, just making the situations themselves funny. Still, did you laugh at all? Did the story accomplish what it set out to do? Not Discord himself, but the other characters.
3090204
Probably because of fandom-induced hatred of the character (since I read some pretty "bad" Discord fics before actually seeing him), I can't even find the results of his magic funny.
And really, now that I think about it, complaining about "deus ex" defeating him is absolute bull because he's a walking deus ex who in the "wrong" hands can't lose ever anyway.
And it's weird that I dislike the character, because I like Youtube Poops--I've watched some insanely vulgar ones and I laughed very openly at those.
But I can't seem to like Discord or any of the results of his actions - canon or otherwise. I might actually have to skip his reformation episode because reforming HIM seemed pretty sketchy and I didn't like him in the first place.