Tomorrow is the 950th Summer Sun Celebration, and with it, the bond between a nation and its princess will be renewed once more. For the 950th time, Celestia will take up the burden of rule, the worries of her people, and the divine task which she alone can fulfill.
Tonight, Celestia reaches the end of one journey. Tomorrow, she begins again.
An entry in the Imposing Sovereigns IV contest, using the prompts Celestia/Persistence.
CW: Self-Harm tag included as a precaution for non mental-health induced events.
Pre-reading assistance by Dewdrops on the Grass
Cover art by Melody Libris
Chapters (1)
This was a fantastic concept for Celestia and a lot of fun to help you with. Highly recommended.
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Thanks, Dewdrops! And thanks for your help and your continued support!
Beautifully written.
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Thank you! I pushed myself a bit to layer things in a more subtle manner, a bit more flowery in a way. Glad it came across well for you. :)
You used a fair amount of symbolism from a couple of different cultures from what I could tell. Unexpected...But rather brilliant.
Excellent. I came into this hoping for more of a downer. Didn't get what i wanted but not disappointed. (Does that make sense?)
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Thanks!
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Nah, I get ya! I've experienced that myself more than once. Go into a story expecting/guessing it's going to go a certain way, only to get swerved a bit. But if you walked away still enjoying the time spent, that's a win in my book. ;)
Thanks for checking it out!
Can't say I'm a fan of this. Never been a fan of self sacrifice and this feels gratuitous.
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And that's totally ok. Admittedly I rarely (if ever) write for these particular content tags, but at least one of aims was to try not to be super over the top. But I also know I won't hit all the marks for all the readers either.
fwiw, most of my other stories are funnier and happier, so you might find those more to your liking. But thank you for giving this a try, and for your honest feedback.
An interesting concept, but it feels overwrought at times, with the motif of beginnings and endings feeling more irritating than deep in its repetition. Moreover, even when Celestia sheds the deadening layers of divinity—a concept not indicated in any way until it became narratively relevant—we still seem distanced from her experiences. We’re told what she’s feeling, yes. We’re told that quite a lot. But never with any greater impact than a blackboard with the phrase “Celestia is feeling,” chalk and eraser constantly replacing the following word.
That detachment pervades the story; even in the final scene, it feels more like we’re getting Celestia’s DVD commentary rather than her actual feelings at any given point. It’s also unclear why the divine, immortal figure has to go through an annual renewal, though that may be outside the scope of the story.
In all, an interesting concept, but the execution feels more like a dispassionate summary of the actual story. Still, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.
Cool story, interesting concept, well written. The only thing it’s missing is a “why”…as in “why does she have to do this”
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Hi! Thanks for the comment, and for giving this story a try.
I was admittedly experimenting a lot with this story; heavy use of passive voice as well as layering elements to try and make the 'whys' and 'hows' more subtle, instead of just highlighting them with a neon sign. In hindsight, I don't think I got the ideal result, but for a first attempt at a majorly passive voice story, I think I got in the ballpark at least, lol.