Vengeance
Chaos. A perpetual state of endless madness all too often surrounds me. I never did see the appeal of making sense; indeed, such a thing seemed only entertaining when flipped on it's head. I’ve never seen the line between sanity and insanity; between sense and madness. For now though, I rest on the cusp of it. It doesn't seem to matter. Perhaps once there was a time when the balance between chaos and ordered mattered, but it seems so long ago.
Still, I can recall Fluttershy; her kindness, her patience, her resilience. It sticks with me even now. She always saw the best in people; even me. Truly she was something special; something I simply couldn't find in ponykind before her or after she passed on. I had given her the chance, of course; the chance to stay with me forever. But she declined. Now, it all seems to blur together.
I've taken to resting within the mountains of Equestria. Away from both the constant nonsense of my own dimension and the petty squabbles of ponykind, I can take in the innate randomness of nature. The interwoven inconsistences of nature that often passes over the heads of ponies. A randomness that I am more able than most to really appreciate.
I hear the approach of something. Hoofsteps. A pair of ponies it sounds to be. No matter; nothing that would concern me. All too often I hear the rambunctiousness of mortal creatures within these mountains; whether they be the natural animalistic endeavors of the mountain's natural inhabitants or the adventurous exploits of pony visitors. It makes no difference to me more often than not. Just another round in an inconsistent cycle I fancy. Therefore, I pay no attention to my visitors.
I am startled when something attaches to my paw. I rise up to look only for my talons to also be hit with the substance. It’s a strange green goo. It holds me steadfast to the rock and I am unable to wrench free of it. With my claws stuck, I am unable to snap myself out either and I feel a sense of panic as my back legs are also caught in the substance. I realize now that I know this strange substance is somehow familiar. Before I can remember, I’m grabbed around the throat and my head is turned to face a pair of dark, yellow eyes. My mouth is forced open and I soon feel my magic being drained from of me. I have felt this sensation before; a very long time ago. Even before the deed is finished, I know who is draining me of my magic. I fall to the ground, weak and powerless as I stare up at the centaur. I can see his body grow taller and muscular; life and vitality being pulled back into a decrepit body. It is Tirek.
As he takes in a deep breath, I see the second half of the pair come within sight. Chrysalis; the former Changeling Queen; her demeanor ravenous. She glares down at me. "Discord." She hisses my name with venom that would kill a snake.
Tirek takes in his newfound strength and looks to the changeling. "I feel strength and power that I haven't felt in far too long. Do what you wish with this monster; I no longer have any desire for what lies within Equestria." With that, the centaur walks away, leaving me with the Changeling.
She barely seems to acknowledge her companion as she continues glares down at me with glowing, green eyes. "I've waited a very, very long time for this, Discord."
I have no idea how long I have been down here. I lay within the confines of a cavern without light or sense of time. She put me here long ago. She has since bred and sicced her younglings on me time after time. It bares no practical use for her, I know. My love rests within a time long ago. She wishes only to hurt me.
After Tirek took my magic, she dragged me down here and inflicted her accursed magic upon me. At first, she merely enveloped me within her slimy cocoon with which she has subjected many to in the past, but that was not enough. She sought to it that I fused with the formless substance, turning into a misshapen blob for her to enforce her will upon. My limps, my body, my head; all have been long fused into an incomprehensible mass; a slab of meat to be tortured. How she does it varies. Sometimes, she'll leave me to wallow in my wretched existence for extended periods of time before reminding me of whose mercy I am at. Other times, she'll throw torment after torment at me.
I am no fool; I know the source of Chrysalis' rage. A plot I had foolishly endeavored. A fate I had set up and enforced, knowing full well what would entail. She, Tirek, Cozy Glow; they had taken my sentence. Perhaps it is karma that has taken place; a sentence carried out by those I have hurt the most. Oh, if Fluttershy had ever known the truth of what I have done.
I have no mouth, and I must scream.
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I doubt that Tirek in his weakened form could take away Discord's magic. In the series, Chrysalis easily fought off Tirek when he tried to absorb her magic, and in order for Tirek to be able to take Discord’s magic in the series, he had to first take the magic from all the ponies of Equestria.
If this is not a script hole, then it turns out that Discord voluntarily gave up his magic?
Obviously, we can have discourse about whether / how much Discord deserves it, but Sunny more or less standing aside and letting the Trio have their way with him strikes me as uncharacteristically indifferent of her, to one extent or another.
Just my two cents; feel free to jam them back into my eyes. Otherwise, not too shabby!
I feel Sunny was pretty much forced to go with this. It's the closest thing of "peace" between Equestria and Chrysalis. Tirek has gone back home and doesn't want any part of Equestria now. Cozy has a new mom with Sunny. Chrysalis can rebuild a hive again and has no doubt gone into isolation away from Equestria since she's got the one who caused all this mess to begin with. If Sunny hadn't gone with it, I'd imagine Chrysalis would take over the new Equestria, but she did what she had to do to protect her home. The ending said it best; Discord caused this mess to begin with and karma finally hit him.
Absolutely brilliant!
Yeah! But also, No! With an ending like that, I expected there to be a chapter dedicated to Tirek in which the centaur contemplates his situation, ready to abandon his intentions of conquest and embrace the possibilities of a new beginning, only for Chrysalis to approach him and whisper "I've found Discord" and all that inner peace was suddenly thrown off the cliff.
Also, I may not know much about Generation 5, but something tells me that the protagonist wouldn't rat out Discord like that. Mind you, I also agree with The Dragon Warlock when he says that Sunny had no other option to avoid being imprisoned in stone.
So this opens the debate. Sunny will leave things at that, ending the cycle of conflict with old enemies, with Discord serving as a kind of restitution sacrifice. Or, would Sunny be willing to risk the start of a new war between the Ponies and the Changelings to save Discord?
11711518
11711591
I do agree that Sunny's choice was a lesser evil — apologies if that wasn't conveyed properly — but just as Wheel expected a bit more rumination on the "inner peace vs revenge" front, I was somewhat surprised to see her not dwell upon the matter much further. Granted, there's a millennia of boiling blood that'd be perfectly justified in stopping this situation from striking the same chord within her, but given that "perpetuating a cycle of hatred can escalate into mutual self-destruction*" was a key moral of her very first adventure, I can't help but wonder if it ought to have at least grazed one of the strings, if that makes a lick of sense.
*Something that, if you're willing to pardon me dragging the Devil's Advocacy to an even deeper level of Hell, may in fact be reflected in the ending: karmic and cathartic as it undeniably is, Chrysalis using Discord as her personal stress toy doesn't seem correlational with mental well-being, let alone in the constructive sense.
11711617
Part of the fact may be that Sunny and her friends don't have as much of a connection to Discord as the Mane 7 did in the past. Consider too that Equestria is still rebuilding and trying to reorganize themselves. Sunny knows they're vulnerable and risking open war with Chrysalis wouldn't end well at all for them. Remember too that Chrysalis said Discord has tricked her, Tirek, and Cozy into uniting together. In the end they end up petrified while the culprit who caused this disaster walked away without facing consequences for his actions and laughed at their fate. For Chrysalis, she can have a hive again, but she'll never forgive or forget what Discord did in the first place and will make sure that should he ever be free again that he'd never do what he did so long ago. If Chrysalis or the next Changeling Queen/King shows any mercy.
Okay, let’s start with the good: the entire first chapter. There’s no beating around the bush as we jump straight into the action. Which is good, it helps us feel the terror and desperation that Sunny did. And the next chapter with Cozy Glow is also pretty, however… it’s all we get. A couple people in the comments already said that they feel like Sunny is OOC. I disagree, she was seconds away from her and her friends being trapped forever, and her talk with Cozy shows that she’s clearly mournful. That being said, it does feel like her guilt is kinda rushed over. Maybe have another chapter or two to see more reactions to what she has done, give the story more of a punch and hammer home how bittersweet the ending is? Something along those lines?
But my biggest problem with this story, however, are the references. You can have those in a story, obviously, but both times they were used they were really on the nose in a way that just pulled me out of the story. Which is something you really don’t want to happen when trying to build tension or atmosphere, especially in a story as short as this one.
Now don’t get me wrong, this is a good story, I just don’t think it had the punch it could have had.
11711447
Well, I mean, the show also had Tirek, along with Chrysalis and Cozy, unable to take Discord's magic from Grogar's Bell because they couldn't control it... despite the fact that Tirek had obviously taken Discord's magic before with no ill effect. So, plot-holes are canon.
Anyways, my idea was that Tirek could do it because they caught Discord off-guard.
11711462
I've watched that clip so many times. Jim Cummings hit it out of the park.
11711591
I get what you mean, but I figured Tirek's side of the story was clear enough from the details. Plus, I wanted Tirek to act as a sort of moral middle ground between the three: Chrysalis being incapable of letting go of her hate, Cozy turning a new leaf thanks to Sunny's care, and Tirek just going off on his own with intentions even he isn't sure of.
11711781
To be honest, with how much love the first story got and how many people wanted a sequel, I was worried that this story would be disappointing. If the worse that can be said about it is the references (which both stories kinda are one big reference), I'd say that's a good sign. As for Sunny, my idea was to keep the story to three parts like the previous one; sort of a running theme. Besides, I feel like adding another chapter just to delve into Sunny's feelings afterwards would mess with the flow of the story. I might add a bit more in Sunny's interaction with Cozy while editing the story, but I think it's better left to the details given.
11711779
"To Hell with you, Discord. But then... you're already there, aren't you?"
11711519 And so, Alondro just shoots her IN THE FACE!! "See, if they'd done that in the first place? PROBLEM SOLVED!!"
Alondro's methods are severe... but undeniably effective.
11711781
i didn't have that issue because i don't read anything that's not on this website!
11711782
You did a wonderful job with this sequel. But now you have fallen into the trap that writers who exceed previous expectations always fall into. Now you have created even greater expectations for whatever come next on the story!
11711953
That's incredibly kind of you to say.
Perhaps I should write a crappy story, so people lower their expectations.
Feels a bit rushed… would have liked a chapter more focused on Tirek attempting to make sense of what’s real and not… there’s a lot to explore there
It's no debate that Discord deserved all of this. The Mane 5 have no real reason to jump to his defense, and even less so after learning the truth. So...
Cozy's no longer an issue, Tirek's off to who knows where. Chrysalis... Is honestly more of a future problem than a present one. Very little love going around Equestria at the moment. Nowhere near G4's level.
Building a hive from the ground up is something even she can't do in a day. Assuming she doesn't need a male changing to start the reproductive cycle, that's gonna be years in the future. Even longer if changelings are extinct and Chrysalis needs a male.
11712168
I imagine Tirek just went home and has said he wants nothing more to do with Equestria. He may have found peace somehow.
As for Chrysalis, I believe she too wouldn't want to do anything with Equestria and has most likely gone into isolation. Even if she does want to eventually go back to Equestria, there's not enough love for her to have. Her successor will most likely have better luck and may be more open to reason and logic instead of the stubborn way Chrysalis is prone to.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand ya blew it
no amount of referencing pop culture can save this ending, it just sucks
"bad guys win, fuck you" is a shit ending no matter what
and don't give me that "they're all bad guys" schtick, Discord was only in the wrong with Cozy and Tirek(to a point). Chrysalis was and still is an unrepentant monster who cares only for conquest; she, if nobody else, deserved the stone treatment
11712564
Gonna cry? Point here is justice not what right or wrong. Discord got what he deserved. Chrysalis did serve a sentence so the bills are even.
11711782
It's more likely that absorbing so much pony magic before draining Discord was why Tirek was able to control his magic.
That really doesn't gel with what was shown of both of them in the show. They both wanted nothing but power and control. If a thousand years in Tartarus didn't change Tirek's ways, it's unlikely being trapped in stone would have done much.
I wonder if Chrysalis got more rage for Discord then Celestia experiencing this imprisonment twice as an immortal first time by Celestia in the volcano with her lings then Discord's mockery while she was reeling from the traitors after leading for soo so long surviving everything fine till Equestria took it by accident but discord plan with Celestia and luna was a special kind of awful can make someone snap I bet she looking for the princesses while keeping an eye out for the traitors lings cause im sure those traitor lings won't leave her and her hive alone she started the changelings and the lings are her legacy that last compared to thorax peacelings whatever did happen to them? I feel they're probably isolated but nosey lot if they know the queen is free...
"I have no mouth, and I must scream."
Yes
Scream you son of a betch.
Maybe dont be a fraud next time
Well so much for peace and quiet. Even after deciding not to destroy magic for the so called greater good.
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
11712168 i agree with you on that
11711792 i love your story about cozy glow getting a second chance and hopeful she can get reformed and have a better life with sunny and the others so good work on it story
11749547
Why, thank you; glad you enjoyed the story.
11749919 your welcome i hope to see more stories about reformed cozy glow and sunny starscout and her friends and i hope you have a good day today
11749922
Or maybe she could somehow end up using them to take over Equestria (or rather what's left of it) like she did with the CMC and the students of the school of friendship, and I wouldn't really blame her at this point. I wouldn't have turned good after having to suffer in stone for a thousand years.
I'd fear for Sunny and the others though if Queen Chrysalis ends up wanting to come back and conquer/destroy Equestria with a new massive army of evil changelings.😦 Her vengeance against the one who turned her original changelings against her along with the two married couple that thwarted her plans during the royal wedding has been completely ruined because of you know who, even if he finally gotten his long overdue comeuppance. Plus no doubt she'd want revenge on Celestia and Luna for helping turning her to stone in the first place too but they most likely have passed on long ago, and with Twilight herself gone there's no way she'd have revenge on the princess of friendship for ruining everything so poor
ChryssieChrysalis would have to resort to attacking Sunny and her friends instead especially since they ended up representing everything Twilight and her friends were. Even with Spike (and possibly Flurry) still around it would not be enough to fill the empty hole that Twilight and the others left her with.What happened to Lord Tirek after this story is completely unknown though. But perhaps he might have gone to commit suicide or something since there's no longer as much magic in Equestria as there were back then and there was nowhere else to steal magic from? That and he wouldn't have turned good so willingly either.
Tirek was like "Screw you guys, I'm going home." Being stonified for a millennium can do that to a guy. I am a bit concerned about Chryssy rebuilding her hive. I like Cozy's ending. I only feel a little sorry for Discord.
My only question is "Why did you use semicolons instead of commas in chapter one?"
11832504
I dunno; figured that was the right way to write it.
You can has review!