Princess Twilight Sparkle has been faced with a difficult decision. Unsure of what to do, she seeks advice from her old mentor, Celestia. The ex-ruler of Equestria may not have an answer for her, but she does have a story. A story about guilt. A story about the greater good.
A story about the day after the worst day of her life.
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YESS i love this take on celestia and ive always thought something similar had had to happen. very emotional, very nice. 10/10 dashies
You can't just leave us hanging like that! What did Twilight decide to do? I need to know
Also, tiny typo I noticed.
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Thanks for pointing that out, it's been fixed!
What did Twilight decide?
Also, a very heartfelt story, I like it a lot.
I always love to read short stories like this, reminds me of what attracted me MLP, all that subtle nuance on the stories and peoples in MLP. Reminds me of seeing some episodes and reading stuff and thinking what a bunch of assholes the ponies are given the situation. Is a nuance that you can see everyday in your life.
Its also funny how a show of pastel colored magic mini horses ends up being more relatable than many other shows
That's a hell of a line. Hits hard. I've always agreed that they never did enough to show how Tia felt, and it left me with the icky feeling that it didn't eat her up inside the way it always seemed it should.
I swear dude Lunas banishment is an actual goldmine for stories to be told. Always a joy to read stories like these cause theres so many ways an author can tell a story surrounding its impacts on the world and characters.
Young Twilight: Celestia! Something terrible, nightmare moon is coming back after 1000 years!
I can only imagine Celestia in that moment as her star pupil so caught up in a fairy tale completely skipped over the most important fact behind the story. What it took to tell her to go make some friends. I don't think I've seen many stories that tell the after, "And they all cheered my name" is such a hitter for the villain of the tale.
Great job, I liked it.
I really like this story, as some other people mentioned besides me, the show never really mentioned how much Luna's banishment messed with Celestia as well. I really like this take because its very emotional and a realistic take on the situation.
Great story.
I feel funny (i ate uranium)
One of your weaker stories. 3/10. Most points lost for wasteful trope check boxing instead of making an interesting tale between these two monarchs. If I never have to read another authors interpretation of the nightmare moon fiasco it will be too soon.
To be clear, there was a strong lead up here, and plenty of room for a story to be told. I can see all the signs, and more or less every part is there to do what you want, make a statement about the disconnect between the ruled, and the rulers, specifically in regards to laws and justice. Doing that through what might be the three hundredth, obligatory sad sister banishment retelling was not necessary, and hurt the story far more than it helped to borrow those elements again.
I understand that as a very prolific author, who puts out good stories on a weekly basis, not every story is going to be high on originality, nor on quality, nor even effort. Well they cant all be winners, and this one is definately a stinker.
I liked it. It shows how the pony's history is wrong and Fabricates the truth. I mean the show focus on the positivity yet it neglects the tragicity of how Celestia feels And the corruption of ponies. They cheer happiness and joy over the sorrow of their leader. Imagine how they'll cheer even more learning that the Legion's defeat was possible because of Discord and they treated them as scum because it was to aid Twilight being ruler of Equestria? They won't care because 'Friendship saved us all! We don't care because harmony will always protect us!' BLECK! Makes you think Gent exist because of the arrogance of peace. They did into themselves
To be fair, the entire moral of this story to me is that twilight needs some ministries to deal with this type of things, because centralized power seems to be dependent in the princesses being aware of they are doing all of the time, because if not ,it might happen of an small thoughtless decision have massive consequences just because of factors that they weren't aware at the moment, hell if something happens with the princesses Equestria would probably fall because the government is so centralized on one or two ponies
Sadlestia yessssss right into my veinsss
Hmmm, well it does show Celestia has grown in some ways far more than what the show or comics display. Which I like, but it feels out of place with what is a hard experience for Twilight. The two parts don't mesh well.
I find that Celestia’s story wasn't suited for the situation Twilight was in. The reason why is that Celestia is giving a flawed lesson of "Make certain you won't regret it.", instead of a lesson about handling your responsibilities properly & without favoritism or excusism on your part or anothers. She's basically telling Twilight to care more about her own desires instead of the laws & everycreature else. Which I must applaud you for doing. Celestia’s story & actions show she has some strong resentment towards bearing the crown & the citizens of Equestria, which would be an excellent bit of expansion of why Celestia retired. I feel that would've been a better place for Celestia’s story, possibly in a discussion with Cadance on why her aunt seems so disdainful a times when around the citizens of Equestria after retirement.
With Twilight, I see here a display of a mare, who was neither wanting nor trained to work in politics by her teacher & ruler, stuck with a situation caused by her recklessness in delegation & management. The results of which led to a waste in tax money, the death of an innocent, poverty for a father & his children, multiple accounts of assault & robbery, and the death of a supposed criminal attempting blackmail.
The studies this mare was given were social skills at best & homicidal tasks better suited for those trained to deal with life threatening situations. Twilight is exceptionally suited as a librarian than a ruler & you show that well here. Her kindness & blatant desire to not punish somecreature with a sob story while seeking guidance from Celestia show how she wanted somepony else to make the choice of what is done with Double Edge.
Now, while Twilight & Cherry Jubilee are guilty for reckless actions, Cherry for doing no research before or after seeking aid from the crown and Twilight for not doing her job as she should, it is ultimately Double Edge who is at fault for his actions after the fire. If he isn't held accountable then it reflects upon the crown poorly. Because not punishing him would look as if Twilight believes she can do whatever she wants, which could lead to some very bad results for her and/or the population. It's an excellent display of Twilight’s lessons & those she lacked as the new ruler of Equestria.
So yeah, I just can't find that the story meshes well with Celestia’s story & Twilight’s situation. You did do a great job with writing the emotionally charged dialogue, so your efforts are paying off.
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On the contrary, I'd say this is one of their stronger entries, easily
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worst part is that or the dude is freed because his sob story, or he is banished, like there is nothing in between, which makes the entire judicial system way to fucking wild, like dude could face some jail time, or maybe if twilight wants so much, he could have some hours community service at least.
Okay, well, that sounds more like a serious lack of good PR on the part of the Royal Family there. Maybe a bit out of place concept for 1,000 years ago, but then again, this is a pretty tabloid-y culture that’s pretty open about openly criticizing their royalty that time as well (it can’t have been that hush-hushed if Celestia knew all the things that were being said about her sister and then herself).
Something about medieval peasants of that time complaining about how their tax dollars are being spent, if anything, sounds pretty hilarious
Though I will say, asking questions about political clarity isn’t what I’d call ‘petty problems’, Tia, that’s just accountability. It’s up to you and Luna how transparent you wanna be and how well you communicate it to your subjects.
Well, Tia, honey, you DO have a “Royal Canterlot” voice for a reason. If there was any time to use it, that was it. If you didn't, that's on you.
And out of curiosity, did she ever try setting the record straight with her subjects, like, more than just once? Even if the Summer Sun Celebration wasn’t the right time given the atmosphere, she’s been in charge solo for a thousand years. She’s had the authority and ample opportunities to control the narrative in her sister’s favor all that time. Once again, less on her subjects and more on her.
Okay okay, look, in all seriousness, I get what you’re trying to do with this part of the story by exploring the dynamics between Luna, Celestia, and a populace that is capable of being as fickle as any other at the time of her banishment. There’s room for a lot of nuance there in asking who could have done things better with the gift of hindsight.
Where I started having a problem was when it felt like Celestia basically started shifting the blame from Luna onto herself and their subjects.
Whatever the circumstances, Luna’s actions are ultimately hers and hers alone. However the popularity may have gotten to Celestia’s head, however “petty” the Equestrian public was, and whatever unfortunate words Celestia may have said at the time, at the end of the day, nopony forced Luna to do what she did. She was insecure and immature, and even if the ponies were actively disdainful here instead of just being indifferent in the show (They gotta SLEEP, Luna!), her answer to this problem was essentially throwing the mother of all royal tantrums in the form of seizing the throne in a coup attempt and doom the nation to eternal night!
Her actions don't look any less ludicrous simply by having her subjects behave ungrateful and douchy, nor does Celestia being arrogant and blind to her sister's pain at the time. It makes Luna more sympathetic and adds a layer of tragedy for both royal sisters, but all that still goes out the window the moment she decides to go Nightmare.
Celestia blaming herself I can go along because, c’mon, it’s her little sister. Of course, she’s going to harshly examine her own actions and feel like she let her down, however true that may or may not be.
But the way in which she starts blaming her subjects smacks a wee too much of absolving “Poor Woona” of much of her responsibility and pointing at a faceless blob of characters and shrugging, “It's their fault.”
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Couldn't disagree more, honestly. Not original, no, but enjoyable. Not everything has to be revolutionary or have a sensational twist, my friend.
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I love being able to see comments like these. I really appreciate the time and effort you put into thinking about some of the deeper issues present here, because yes, they were intentional. I wanted questions to be raised, and I tried to leave several plot beats up to interpretation (even beyond Twilight's actions after the ending).
Make no mistake, Double Edge and Luna are grown adults who are responsible for their own actions. In Luna's case, the guilt she displays numerous times throughout the series makes that perfectly clear. That said, this still raises several questions. Why does Celestia deflect the blame off of Luna when she should surely be mature enough to understand that there is more to it than that, or admit to herself that she doesn't think Twilight is at fault in her scenario? Is the "advice" Celestia is giving actually what Twilight needs to hear? After all, Luna's banishment is something that she has carried with her for longer than we could possibly hope to imagine. If we're susceptible to having faulty memories, rose-tinted glasses, etc, what would the effects of 1,000 years of guilt be? Similarly, is Twilight really acting as she should be here?
I love every single person questioning the thoughts and actions of the characters involved in this story, and I'm having a genuine blast seeing all of your interpretations. Thank you so much for engaging with this, it's definitely a style of storytelling I'm not used to!
Awesome story, though it would be nice to know what Twilight came up with. Also, perhaps I'm just picky, but the present tense style always just messes with the flow of stories, imo. The wording is awkward and reading it breaks my flow quite significantly, and I think this story, and the majority of the ones I've read using this style, would be much better served with the typical past tense style of a story that happened, and we're just getting a glance in time of the narrator telling it. Don't take that too harshly, though. It's a good story, regardless, that hits all the right stuff at the right time, and my main nitpick is the stumbling around my brain does when trying to read the style. Good luck on your future stories :)
Lovely story. Will we find out what Twilight choose to do?
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I would hope so, but it's probably another one of those stories for the reader to figure out what she does, or more like imagine what she will do.
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Ok