(they/them) writing about ponies kissing and hugging and making terrible mistakes (pfp by evelili! https://evelili.tumblr.com/post/731980670351622144/free-icons-for-u-nd-ur-partner-in-crime )
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As a foal, Fluttershy discovered her love for nature's beauty. Now a mare, she moves out and down to the earth. At first, beauty is a blooming flower, a happy bunny. As she settles in, her definition bleeds into everything. She finds beauty in the deafening cicadas and the falling leaves and the fragile bones of a bird's body. She finds it in herself.
A story of Fluttershy's first year in Ponyville.
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What a delightful imagining of Fluttershy's adjustment to living on the ground and in Ponyville!
There were bits that at first I bridled at a little (A storm brewing in Cloudsdale makes the cloudtops wet, but from atop Cloudsdale is itself heard only as a distant rumbling?) but you kept winning me over anyway, partly because you just keep describing it so darn well as to help me picture it so wonderfully.
I enjoy your story's gently literary style, which I think fits the ideas and themes relatively well.
I also like how you've given us a different picture than I might have expected of Rainbow and Fluttershy's friendship, and how that relates to Fluttershy's move to Ponyville.
Myself, I might never have thought to suggest that Fluttershy would at least go through some kind of full on wu wei Taoist phase, but I think you really make it work and make it very interesting. This is one of those stories that have some kind of intellectual depth, but do a lot of that through 'showing not telling,' which imho makes it better.
Anyway, this story might be a usually low key Slice of Life, but somehow it is full of the good kind of surprise.
đź‘Ť Recommended!
Interesting read. Never took time to think about Fluttershy's mindset shortly after moving to ponyville. Interesting to think about, and described beautifully.
That author's note at the end really startled me. There's symbolism in this??? I thought it was just interesting moments in fluttershy's life. dang. In retrospect you sure did mention galoshes a lot, i should have realized
This bit stood out to me:
That seems like something twilight would think. I don't know if this fluttershy could cope with an animal dying if she didn't think it would go to heaven or something. As opposed to an animal being a useful way to think about the behavior of a chunk of matter.
The magpie's body is the thing that's part of nature and not its abstraction, but fluttershy showed the rabbit that it was part of something greater. did she mean part of a greater quantity of matter?
The authors note makes me think fluttershy is being coerced into losing touch with realistic reality and becoming part of the organized society and narrative and the 'dance' and that kind of thing. But she's happier with her friends, right? that's like the whole idea of the show. But this is like a rejection of the idea that you need to comply with the narrative and peoples expectations to be fulfilled.
I also thought it was funny how the prose gets poetic at times (dirt forgetting a corpse, wind telling secrets, fluttershy cradling the sun??) but it also mentions how stars twinkle because of atmospheric disturbances and stresses about how a storm is not a person who is angrily attacking things but it's just a bunch of water! so what is the point of either of those things?
and order is beauty! it really is! every beautiful thing relies on order in some way, if only the ordered system of a mind to perceive it!
So, I don't get it. But it is super well written though. Idk why I felt the need to criticize so much
Whose graduation, Rainbow's or Fluttershy's? Because Rainbow didn't graduate.
That was a good story.
Very interesting character study!!
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thank you for the glowing review!! call the bit about thunder artistic license, my logic at the time was "well it's the lightning bolt striking the ground that causes the bang" and "what is a cloud but a big insulator".
wu wei is an interesting callout!
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thank you!
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all stories have symbolism whether the author intends it or not, imo! i think other ponies besides twilight can have smart thoughts - fluttershy has researched animals a lot, so im sure she's dabbled in animal psychology, and her conception of names as a narrative abstraction of individualism comes from not hearing her own for months.
a name is something ponies use to identify themselves as distinct - this is subverted in the last scene where fluttershy is described as just a pony, with as much time and weight as a rabbit or bird. she knows that animals are too preoccupied with their own survival to understand their place in nature, they just don't fight or deny it either. to her, the rabbit only understands that place when there is no longer need to fight, and the magpie may reject and deny that place as a pony does due to its sense of self.
there's no coercion or evil at play here, other than peer pressure. i think fluttershy's identification of celestia as the apex of order leads her to consider the princess with pity, not resentment. as i said in the notes, this Fluttershy is over correcting - in time, she'll realise that a little narrative, a little individualism, is fine so long as she isn't swept up in it.
as for poeticism, i write my prose with the character's perspective in mind - atmospheric density is just another PegaFact™️ rattling around her mind. perhaps it would've been stronger to illustrate rejection of narrative by replacing the prose with a bare bones sequence of actions and facts, but that'd be boring! and besides, it's not about rejecting the beauty of narrative and what is already considered beautiful, but instead accepting things outside that frame.
beauty is the perception of something which brings joy, based in instinctual perception of that which is good for your life - lush green grass is beautiful to a pony because she can eat it. the conception of beauty evolves with society, as a pony's survival becomes less of an issue and joy comes from more places than just living. to remove oneself entirely from ego and understand one's role in nature, beauty must be extended even further.
(sorry for the dump lol, i appreciate your thoughts!)
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oops... so many canon facts to keep track of. this is now officially an AU where rainbow dash didn't drop out
This was such a beautiful story. I was always curious to see what Fluttershy’s life was like after she moved into her cottage in Ponyville. Nicely done. This is going on my favorites bookshelf.
Keep up the good work!
Wowow, I'm glad some smarter people in the comments pointed out the real point of the narrative here, because I'm afraid I would have missed it otherwise
Hello! Have a review. My attention was initially caught by Mockingbirb's warm words in an earlier comment. I'm glad I chose to read it, as it's a nice character study of a pre-show Fluttershy. Rainbow's supporting role is interesting, too. And oof, the misdirection about the rabbit who dies. That hit me hard. If I had to nit-pick I'd say I don't think the dril quote that heads the A/N is appropriate for an E-rated story, but the fic itself is appealing -- especially to Fluttershy fans like me. Upvoted!
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thank you for the review! im glad the misdirection was effective. it felt a little mean but setting you up to believe this was her saving angel was vital to align you with her own expectations - that, through her intervention, the rabbit would be saved and live happily ever after. i wasn't sure about rainbow's inclusion at first... frankly it was just hard writing a story without other characters, lol.
please excuse my sloppy style, i like to keep it casual outside the prose. i'll try and be a bit more mindful of what might skirt an E rating outside the content of the fic itself in future, too.
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I found the misdirection very satisfying. Sad, but satisfying. I find the deeper and sometimes harsher aspects of Fluttershy's vocation endlessly fascinating. On top of that, I am a complete sucker for Fluttershy/Rainbow friendshipping -- so your fic ticked two of my personal boxes!
this is very well done, im glad i checked it out. i love the introspection and quiet moments youve set up here, it really adds depth to an earlier version of fluttershy that we dont really get to see in canon (but, still feels like it COULD exist in canon, just off-screen)
Found this through TCC56's "Recommendsday" recommendations, and I'm glad I did.
An interesting, and beautifully written story that seems quite plausible for how Fluttershy's early times in Ponyville might have gone. And young Rainbow, literally dropping in from the sky and deciding she'll stick with Ponyville if Fluttershy thinks it's a good place, was very fun. I think having her in the story was important, showing how Fluttershy has those connections with her fellow ponies even during this phase of her life.
And those Fluttershy's musings about ponies ascribing beauty to order seem especially meaningful, given her later role in rehabilitating Discord!