CH45: Epilogue
* * * THREE DAYS LATER * * *
"Well, Princess," Serenity said, "I think it's fair to say you've really come into your own, now."
Luna raised an eyebrow at her as they walked slowly down the hall, "Oh?"
"Well, you've handled the last three hearings with ease, parliament is still chattering about how you caught the Guild of Lotus red-hoofed mid-procession yesterday, you've straightened up the guards when I didn't even think they could be more straight, and even the royals seem content with your decision to marry Prince Bastion."
The Princess allowed herself a small self-satisfied grin.
"Yes, well... I have my sister to thank, in part."
"Right. Her guidance has been invaluable. The two of you make a formidable pair now, with your duties shared as they are, even if the nobles have had to shift their schedules later in the day to work with you."
"Indeed. She handles the squabbling rabble while I stay here and do all the real work!"
There was a beat of silence, followed by an awkward cough from Serenity. Luna lowered her gaze to the little unicorn.
"It was a joke, dear Serenity."
"O-Oh! Ha! Hahaha!"
Luna rolled her eyes and flapped a puff of wind at the mare, ruffling her already unkempt mane.
"Do not worry yourself. I have naught but the utmost respect for my sister and her duties. Indeed, I am consistently impressed by the skill and cleverness with which she handles herself around such a varied crowd. At least when I am with the nobles, they are somewhat predictable!"
Now Serenity did giggle, "Yes, well, a little birdie told me she's just as impressed with you. I think you two would do well to share more stories about what goes on in your day to day."
Luna eyed the mare coolly, "I think I can handle my sister quite well enough, but thank you, Serenity."
The unicorn bowed her head at the subtle rebuke, "Very well. We are all done, so if I may be excused?"
"Of course, Serenity. Tomorrow when you are done with Celestia, meet me in the dining hall before parliament, please."
"Yes, Princess. Good night."
The mare trotted happily off toward her bedchambers and Luna turned toward her own bedchambers where Bastion was waiting for her.
"Evening," he said calmly, his decorative royal helm gleaming as he approached.
She raised a hoof in mock pain, "Alas, you dazzle me with thy armor! Begone with this wretched regalia!"
He laughed and tossed his helm casually to the ground as he trotted up to give her a nuzzle. She nickered happily at the now familiar contact and they turned to exit her room and walk slowly down the hall.
"So," he began, "Captain Pride is doing well in his new position."
"Oh good. I was worried his ego would get the better of him after his promotion from officer."
"As was I, but I made sure he understood the significant responsibility his position holds, and that he would show it the respect it deserves. He was a good officer, and makes for a good captain too. You chose well."
"I am glad. It was a tough call between him and Officer Order, but as you commented in your report, Pride is simply more understanding of his subordinate's needs."
"Indeed," Bastion said, nodding happily. "Officer Joust, on the other hoof, has not taken well to his new position."
"Oh?"
Bastion quirked his muzzle, "I mean, he performs his duties and commands his platoon well enough, but he just seems... unsatisfied."
"Why is that?"
"I am not sure. That is why I mention it--perhaps you could talk to him? You do have a way of stirring up the guards' fervor for their position. Maybe he will have a little more self-respect if you help him feel he deserves it."
"And does he deserve it?" Luna asked with a smirk.
"Oh, absolutely. He is a fantastic officer when he puts his mind to it, and I suspect would even make a suitable replacement for Captain Spear when he decides to retire."
"Oh ho ho! You would have him skip Officers Order, Candy, and Swear?"
"I would indeed," Bastion said firmly, "He is a stalwart soldier and has the utmost respect for his position. He reminds me a lot of myself, to tell you the truth. He is just... inexplicably unhappy. So--"
"Never fear, my Bastion, I will have a chat with him."
"Thank you, mistress."
She nipped his ear playfully, "I told you to stop calling me that! You are a Prince now, my Bastion. Behave!"
He laughed, then suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallway. She turned back to him, but he nudged her onward.
"Go on, Princess. Your sister awaits, and I will not intrude."
She smiled, gave him a little nuzzle, then turned and stepped through the door into the private dining hall. Princess Celestia was having a quiet conversation with Captain Spear, but as soon as she entered, he grinned at her and gave her a casual salute before trotting out of the room without a word. Princess Luna approached the broad table and slid into the seat beside Celestia, who greeted her warmly.
"Ah, my dear sister! How did the princes take the news?"
"Well enough. Goldenheart is a trifle annoyed, I suspect, but he will recover soon enough."
"That old curmudgeon," Celestia rolled her eyes, "The slightest change and he's grumpy for days. Nevermind him."
"I suppose you're right, of course. You usually are."
Celestia accepted the compliment with a bow of her head.
"And how is our newest subject?" Luna asked.
"You mean our resident human? Oh, he is behaving himself quite well after our little... chat. And he is still conducting experiments with Twilight. I must admit they are a match made in haven if ever there was one."
"That they are. And no word of the missing human?"
"The one Twilight said leapt through her portal?" Celestia shook her head sadly, "No, nothing. He could be anywhere, dead or alive. We may never know."
Luna bobbled her head, "I am not so sure... I have this niggling feeling he shall turn up eventually."
At that moment, Luna's stomach let out an audible grumble and she smiled sheepishly, "Ah, it appears my body is upset I skipped lunch. Do you know how much longer for the food?"
Celestia's lips quivered in her telltale way when she is suppressing a smile, "Oh, well... I believe it will arrive any... second!"
As she said the last word, her horn twitched and the illusion spell dissolved, revealing two small plates of rainbow colored pastries.
Luna gasped, "You didn't!"
"I did," Celestia replied smugly.
She eagerly lifted her Zap Apple Eclair to Celestia's muzzle, who likewise did the same for Luna.
"In memory and celebration!" Celestia cried.
"And may we--" Luna began.
A burst of green flame interrupted her and she groaned loudly.
"Oh fie! Not now, surely!?"
Celestia giggled at Luna's reaction as she set the pastry down and unfolded the letter.
Her smile faded slowly as she read, and her expression had turned dark indeed by the time she passed the letter to Luna, who lifted it with some trepidation.
"Dear Princess Celestia... I have good news and bad news. The good news is we have finally succeeded! Yes, that's right, Anon successfully cast a spell, real magic of his own! The bad news... um, well, he can only seem to cast magic like... like what King Sombra had. Black and green and crystals and all that. We're not sure why yet, but... well, I thought you should know. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."
Luna gently set the letter down and frowned at Celestia.
"So... the human has dark magic."
Celestia nodded somberly, "I wondered how it would manifest. This could have serious repercussions."
"Very serious. We will have to watch him closely."
"Indeed."
They sat in silence for a brief moment. Then Luna straightened in her chair.
"But I believe those repercussions can wait a moment, yes?"
She lifted her eclair again, and Celestia grinned as she lifted her own to Luna's muzzle.
"Yes, dear sister, I believe they can."
Then, finally, they each took a delicate bite of Zap Apple Eclair.
It was even better than they had remembered.
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Woooo, now that's some good news. Especially with that bomb you dropped at the end, I need to see how that plays out.
I knew Celestia would say something to him at the least. Humans using dark magic is an interesting path. If the other guy that jumped through figured out how to use his and he gets found by a villain (Tirek, for instance), that could be really bad for Equestria AND Earth.
What a great story, through and through!
I hope we get to see more of Twilight and Anon in this universe, and I'm happy that you're planning a sequel :3
Cheers, mate!
I enjoyed this read despite it very much not being what I had in mind when I started reading. I will say I'm a bit disappointed that the story I was mainly in for, the Twilight/human plot line, got summed up with the two (at least in my mind) b-plot characters brushing off something as big as the humans introduction to Equestria/Twilight and them having an actual discussion on the whole "We love each other" thing through a letter. The idea of sequels sounds nice but I personally found the Luna plot line to be a bit padding and the Celestia story a bit rushed. You do you, your story. I just dislike cliffhangers being interrupted by additional storylines, I inevitably end up finding a favorite and feeling like the rest is "in my way" of getting to what I want to read. Decently well written all the same, and very much waiting to see the focus of the possible sequels.
Rushed, not, but the protagonists are Anon and twilight, if they are not in the epilogue then this is not a good ending, Celestia and Luna have the final chapters, that is disappointing without the main characters on screen.
not what i was expecting today when i got up thanks for the chapter the story has reached its end does look like a lot of holes need to be filled in a sequal though
Somewhat disappointed, what did Celestia talk with him, no ending scene with Anon and Twi, felt kinda well, not rushed but badly ended
I wonder if dark magic is the natural state of magic humans take? We've only heard of Sombra using it, so maybe humans aren't driven mad by it like ponies. Maybe Anon and Twilight can make great strides into research on it. I've always like the idea that there is no "evil magic" only magics that are very easy to use for evil, like how some settings put necromancy and an off shoot of healing magic.
I do hope we see more of the other mane 6 members interacting with Anon, idk if it's just me thinking that.
Ok, I've finished the story and I honestly don't know what to say. It starts strong and goes on strong for three quarters of the story, then its almost like a different Author took over and it all goes to crap. The mane character becomes a useless wuss, the I.Q. of the characters all take a serious nose dive and the plot goes Bugs Bunny.
I can only recommend this story if you stop reading half way.
Monk
Oooh dark magic, that sounds like a predicament.
Can’t wait for the next story to unfold!
11659927
They did get the final chapter. The ending is Twilight and Anon admitting they love each other and Twilight returning through the portal. If you dislike that ending then that's fine, and I'm sorry you feel that way (especially since people clearly agree with you), but I mean... An epilogue is supposed to be post-ending, wrapping up loose ends, giving a conclusion, and almost always set in the future relative to the main story. Like, I titled the chapter "Epilogue" for a reason y'know?
11660434
...This is barely even worth responding to but I'm going to anyways because I'm bored.
He's just a veterinarian bro not a senior military officer, what'd you expect? This isn't call of duty, man. He's in WAY over his head and I'm treating that realistically. He isn't "afraid" of the gun, he is being rational and admitting to himself that he has zero training and would do more harm than good. If that's a problem for you, then that's a you problem.
Also you're being sexist as fuck so your opinion doesn't deserve any respect anyway.
11660171
Oh absolutely, that's part of the reason I want to write a sequel in the first place.
11660151
Love is not a word Twilight just throws around casually and, like that other guy said, Celestia trusts Twilight implicitly (a lot more than she realizes). If that's not enough to justify a re-evaluation of your stance (particularly for someone that's supposed to be wise) I don't know what is.
11660619
By "wise" you're talking about Celestia right ?
11660858
lol yeah, sorry.
Ending was a bit rough, all that nice buildup and then it felt like you slammed on the brakes with the time jump… though if you’re planning a sequel I guess it’s not as bad.
Welp heres waiting for squeal
My guess? The human live and also can do dark magic unless you gonna make it so every human has a chance to have different magic.anon loses himself to it.anon uses dark magic without issues
11660434
your the type of guy who gets his ass beat than to go your home to get your gun.
A very good story. I quite thoroughly enjoyed it.
I look forward to sequels to come.
11680196
What? I'm just messing, man!
WOW that was a great one! Had me worried for a moment with Peter capturing everyone, where I thought the story was gonna take a turn towards the age-old cliché, but THAT was a nice save! Honestly I don't think you could've ended it any better! I will absolutely be looking forward to any sequel you'd make! Kudos to you my friend!
*Here is the translation by ChatGpt*:
Dear author,
I have just finished reading the full 6109 lines on PonePaste out loud, which is my habit. This was also the first time I have read such a long work - previously, I only had the experience of reading a certain number of short "green" stories on /mlp/. I am a Chinese "ESL" reader. With the strange but very smooth way of using machine translation plugins and instant online dictionaries, it is not an exaggeration to say that I have literally "forgotten to eat and sleep" in reading these past few days. This is for two reasons: one is because of my sincere appreciation for the quality, and two is that it has also been very helpful for practicing my English "listening, speaking, reading, and writing" skills.
•
I want to express some sincere feelings. The opening impression was profound. The quality remained surprising and reassuring in the middle. However, I was disappointed that the rescue of Celestia became increasingly rushed and hurried with no organization towards the end, just like speeding dizziness, ultimately turning the narrative into an accident, which was terrible. Also, twi's emotional entanglement with anon was too abruptly inserted, yet too little inner monologue was depicted (anon even more) when "I love him" suddenly erupted and then hastily ended in the background story at the end.
•
I can hardly express how much I enjoyed it because your descriptions of "medical related scenes, character behaviors, dialogues and daily lives, mutual frankness" were so accurate and vivid, the characters and motivations were absolutely logical and self-consistent, and the main character as a veterinarian was so caring and professional. I also liked Luna's growth from fragility to strength and emotional line, and the portrayals of twi, tia, star light and other characters were good
and twi/anon's mutual introduction of each other's world concepts and beautiful thirst for knowledge were so vibrant and compatible, everything including the realistic and lively depiction of the world itself, but unfortunately, in my ideal after anon steps into twi's world, there should still be "1k-2k more Ponepaste lines" of similar quantity to reflect on, "describing anon exploring twi's world, producing all kinds of chemical reactions", etc. to mirror the previous twi as a patient, and anon as a "curious foreigner, and the feeling blending period with twi" to be considered perfect. Perhaps it was due to the difficulty of "another world"? Or inconsistent with your expected plan? （unfortunately the main 6 did not appear：\）
•
In summary, I would still give this work a very high rating of 8.5/9, excluding the too short, rushed and even plain weak ending of the plot - everything else was very satisfying to me. I hope the story can continue to develop. As my first experience with a long work, I am truly sincerely happy and lucky to be able to read this work, imperfect but still brilliant. I guess：）
11732946
Thank you for the kind words! I am honored to be your first "long" story, and I'm glad you appreciated Luna's growth, Anon's medical knowledge, and the overall portrayal of the characters, as I put a lot of effort into each of those categories.
Assuming you do see this comment, I strongly recommend you re-read the last few chapters via this website (starting around chapter 41 or 42), rather than the PonePaste version, as I significantly reworked the ending in an attempt to address the issues you described here and have not updated PonePaste to reflect those changes.
Good luck with your English practice!
11734004
Thank you for the feedback. I listened to your advice and re-read the revised version of the story, which indeed added more scenes for Starlight and made Tia seem more dignified, making the "black magic plot" more reasonable. However, the focus should be on the "ending" rather than the Epilogue or the last few chapters of this section, because the "conclusion" "glossed over and washed away" the foreshadowing that had been built up all along, making the "costs almost completely sunk" (referring to the sunk cost fallacy).
The "beginning and end connection" then became trite instead. I found some "shared feelings" in some comments, such as comments #5/7/9/10/18 making some valid points, but #4 spoke to me the most and was completely in line with my thoughts. For example, the feeling of "filling in Luna's plotline, reducing Twi's plotline to background, the rushed nature of Tia's plotline" was like: enjoying a sweet cake but the cherry on top causes diarrhea or food poisoning, ruining the whole experience with the final bad impression.
However, I am no longer as disappointed because I have quickly and "very early on" accepted various imperfections, as life itself is often imperfect, with a brave beginning and weak ending, I guess. ：）
(Some small suggestions regarding the "ending" from my understanding of narrative and objective perspective)
Like Im just being a nerd tho ☝️🤓
But:
njnj!
11829359
Answer to that rant: shield
11846630
Honestly I forgot about Raven when I was writing this.
This is a solid story, goes onto my favorites list. Anon as a vet is a variant I hadn’t seen before, so I appreciate the variety. Characterization of our known ponies is pretty good.
I think my only suggestions are that the motives of secondary characters aren’t as clear. I would have liked to have seen even short sections from the POV of Lizzy, or maybe Serenity. Still, these are minor criticisms.
Please tell me that you plan to make a continuation of this story, it is one of the only ones that I have found that addresses the interaction between humans and ponies in an entertaining way, it is great.
11880198
Glad you like it! I do indeed have plans to write a sequel, but it is not my next project. I am currently working on this story https://www.fimfiction.net/story/552686/apple-hospitality