• Member Since 20th Jun, 2013
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Alphamon_Ouryuken


"I am the Aloof Hermit, the Lord of the Empty Seat. I am the Alpha and the Omega"

Comments ( 2 )

For those who want to see the full cover image, it's 3682885 on e621.

This is your official review for the Furry Foray Festival Contest!

I've tried to be as objective as possible, but of course there are limits. I've tried to avoid being biased or arbitrary as much as I can, and hopefully I've succeeded at least somewhat. The full, final results will be announced on May 4th, and winners will be contacted shortly afterward to ask how they would like to accept their prizes. When readings these comments, please keep in mind that I know I'm often overly critical -- to the point where I can always find nitpicks even with the greatest works of literature. So don't take anything personally!

Notes:
- Having the staff be one of the many magical artifacts Daring Do saves is a neat way to initially connect the two characters.
- that there were not one, but two of them! Well, that was a surprise! A welcome one, though.
- The Pegasus could only sigh and moan as his cock slowly pushed deeper into Kursed's as she was so engrossed in the pleasure that he didn't realize he'd instinctively started thrusting in and out into her hole, not even waiting for Kursed to sit all the way down. Some kind of weird run-on sentence there... Maybe "as" was supposed to be "ass"?
- Though it got off to a very strong start, this story (disappointingly) seems to pretty 'by the numbers', going straight down the 'things that need to be in a clopfic' checklist. BJ, check. Vaginal, check. Anal, check. Etc... And what's worse, Daring Do is just lying there on the floor taking it the whole time and never really does much other than being a passive recipient until very nearly the end.
- RUIN MY ASS!!" She screamed 'She' should be lowercase.
- feeling his body shutter ever so slightly Shudder.
- This fic takes a unique and interesting setup with a unique combination of characters ... and ends up turning it into a very generic clopfic, unfortunately. Not a bad clopfic by any means ... but not one that stands out from the crowd, either. It does what it does fairly well ... but what it does is the same thing that 10,000 other clopfics have already done. I had high hopes given the interesting character combination, but once the sex started, they were pretty generic and faceless. I also thought things were really going to get interesting when Krystal split into two and it became a threesome ... but it still managed to be a very generic threesome. I suppose what's really missing is character-based emotional connections.

Scores:
Provocativeness: 60
Progression: 80
Payoff: 80
Pacing: 80
Personality: 25
Prose: 65
Total: 390
For more information on what these scores mean, see the scoring rubric.

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