- Member Since 24th Apr, 2021
- offline last seen Yesterday
Space_Kase
Important notice: unless stated otherwise, every single cover image for every single one of my MLP fanfics is drawn/painted by me.
Space_Kase
Joined 24th Apr, 2021 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- LewdChapter · 3.9k words · 341 80 · 18k views
- TheWraithWriter · 6.3k words · 149 12 · 5.6k views
- No Raisin · 5.6k words · 91 5 · 1.9k views
- Crimson Prose · 13k words · 98 22 · 2.8k views
- Game-BeatX14 · 2.1k words · 54 7 · 2.7k views
- Pegasus 25 · 11k words · 92 23 · 4.2k views
- Wintermist · 15k words · 131 8 · 3.5k views
- Neko-sama · 21k words · 245 23 · 4.8k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.086 seconds
Total duration
820 users online
665,057 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
You have my interests, I will.........be back.
You know in my personal opinion, I never understand how people think Judy is hot or something.
11504433
Just keep in mind that majority of people in the world will never understand how some people think that ponies are hot.
I personally like canine anthros mostly, aside from ponies from the show (which are kinda a mix between anthro and feral). So it's absolutely easy for me to understand why people think Judy is hot. Besides she has a charming personality in that movie in my own opinion.
11504433
I personally don't, myself. But she was one of the characters the contest runners wanted to use for the contest, so...here I am. Over 11,000 words later. I'd have to get to her sooner or later, if I was going to go for the Quintet Bonus (the prize given to whoever writes five whole stories, each one featuring one of the furry ladies).
One down, four to go!
Not bad
11505777
Agreed, I found myself pleasantly surprised with how good this was.
This is your official review for the Furry Foray Festival Contest!
I've tried to be as objective as possible, but of course there are limits. I've tried to avoid being biased or arbitrary as much as I can, and hopefully I've succeeded at least somewhat. The full, final results will be announced on May 4th, and winners will be contacted shortly afterward to ask how they would like to accept their prizes. When readings these comments, please keep in mind that I know I'm often overly critical -- to the point where I can always find nitpicks even with the greatest works of literature. So don't take anything personally!
Notes:
- That much italic text in the beginning was a little annoying, but I guess it makes sense. Though you really don't have to do so much italics just to set apart a framing device.
- Speaking of the framing device, though, it was quite enjoyable. A little mini sex scene to get things warmed up, and it did a great job of making me anticipate what was coming next and want to read onward.
- Integrated Equestria and Zootopia in a really interesting way.
- A little odd that the meat of the story is in 3rd person POV. Given the framing device, it would make a lot of sense for the framing to be in 3rd person but the main story in 1st person, since it's Judy telling her story.
- I know the point is that they just wanted quick, casual sex ... but is it weird to say that it was too casual? Or perhaps a mix of too casual and not casual enough. It seems like their first meeting was taken a little too seriously and formally to so quickly lead to sex. Oddly, if her first words to Soarin had been, "Hey, wanna fuck?" I think I'd find that more believable. But as it is, it's kind of in an uncanny valley of believability -- casual enough to raise eyebrows, but not casual enough to feel like a complete slutty whim... I guess it feels weird that they took time to get to know each other first, but took so little time doing so.
- The time between them meeting and them having sex also feels a bit perfunctory, for both Soarin and Spitfire. Like it was only there because you thought it needed to be there, but you mainly just wanted to get past it so you could get to the good part.
- The actual sex scenes were a bit short. Pretty good, but spending a bit more time with them and giving more details would have helped.
- Nice touch with Judy being nervous when she first saw Spitfire and Soarin at the same time.
- Nice element of grounded realism to it, what with being STD safe and all, and with the way the characters treat each other.
- Wish we could have gotten Spitfire's part of the threesome described, rather than glossed over.
- There was some use of clothing, but I feel like it could have been better if it was more detailed and more consistent. Spitfire's blue boyshorts were a great detail, for example, but we really don't get much into what Judy was wearing, though. Similar thing with breasts -- for a lot of the story, the absence of doing anything with them was pretty blatant; heck, even in the climactic threesome, Judy still kept her top on! And though Judy enjoying Spitfire's sports bra against her face during flight was nice, that was pretty much the only attention Spitfire's poor, neglected breasts got.
- Did a pretty nice job with the scenes between Nick and Judy -- believable and sweet.
Scores:
Provocativeness: 70
Progression: 60
Payoff: 80
Pacing: 80
Personality: 85
Prose: 80
Total: 455
For more information on what these scores mean, see the scoring rubric.