• Member Since 10th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen October 8th

Horned Eclipse

Peace! 🇺🇦 ☮️ 🇷🇺 Слава Україні, Нет Войне

Comments ( 19 )

Damn, short and intense, good job!

Entirely plausible. Only objection I have is Filthy Rich actually seemed to be relatively decent on screen. But I get what you were going for here.

The Element of Honesty felt her soul cry out in objection, but the Element of Loyalty wouldn't have it.

Somehow I really like the little premise here. Applejack is torn between being honest about her actions and protecting her family. Meanwhile, Rainbow's desire to be loyal to her friend and also protect her friend have no conflict, and she faces nearly no internal struggle sticking to her element.

Totally get where you're coming from, and thank you

I'm so glad you liked that addition, thank you so much! I really wanted to play off their elements for this. :twilightsmile:

Friends help you move.

True friends help you move a body.

Hey sometimes best friends carry secrets for each other to the grave. Protecting a friendship is sometimes are worse killing for. Even if a scenario makes you have to get dirty.

Wow! I didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't this. The element of honesty forced to lie about something this serious for the rest of her life. The ultimate irony. Good little one shot.

This feels unfinished. AJ is showing too much shell shock and internal conflict that can be reasonably resolved in one sitting. Not only that, but Rainbow Dash made the decision for her, which makes her complicit and just as liable to the consequences. So final line feel more like a cliffhanger than an ending.

I think this is more about RD and not about AJ....
AJ's murder is the B-story here.
And RD's loyalty is the A-story.

It isn't though. If the story extended backwards, that would be A-B sides to the this story. Rainbow going about her daily life while hearing gossip about Rich accosting AJ. But the way it is framed here is as a convergence. It's a middle chapter with a climax written without its set up, or its conclusion.

Rainbow makes the decision for AJ, while the farmer seemingly goes along when she knows what she did isn't right. There is more story to follow up, since AJ clearly feels conflicted for having killed someone as well as the anguish to leaving her family and farm to face the consequences. It clearly goes against her principles as a pony and element, literally written that her honesty screamed at her, but the end just unceremoniously drops it, because it's easier for her to go along with RD and leave the rest upto the imagination.

The Element of Honesty felt her soul cry out in objection, but the Element of Loyalty wouldn't have it.

I'm glad this was pointed out because having a element of harmony doesn't mean you can't do evil, loyalty to commit crimes or generosity to cover something up

And family will help you dispose of the body before it occurs to them to ask why you need help disposing of a body in the first place.

Login or register to comment