- Member Since 10th Mar, 2015
- offline last seen April 23rd
Horned Eclipse
Peace! 🇺🇦 ☮️ 🇷🇺 Слава Україні, Нет Войне
Horned Eclipse
Joined 10th Mar, 2015 ·
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While the writing is good, I must admit I expected.. I dunno, more. The story feels kinda pointless the way it is right now. Random horror scene out of nowhere.
I think what would have made this more horrific is if the thing that was stalking her was moving more in the house. It would heighten the sense of fear, and desperation as she would try the front door, and her window while listening intently to locate it by sound, while trying not to make to much noise herself. It would also make her question if carrying a lantern was safe or not. That way, in the end, all hope would be taken when there was a chance, making the blow that much harder.
Other than that, it was alright.
No substance.
I get that it tries to invoke a sense of hopelessness, but there's no substance behind it. It's just like "Boom, scary shit! Lose your hope!" Which doesn't work.
7567607 I agree. But the creepy sense was definitely there. If you could find a reason for the scene or some kind of cause, even a subtle one, the story would be much better.
that not how you spell skull.
Tick tock goes the clock, hands always turning. Round and round they always spin never ever slowing.
Tick tock goes the clock, forevermore.
Grapes are only good until they're rotten, the you make wine.
You don't know how to make wine, but you know how to grow grapes.
Grapes mate.
Grapes
7567886
Fixed! Sorry I overlooked it, and thanks for telling me.
7567887
Thanks for the grapes! If I can make the beginning, maybe in the future I'll make you some good wine. Till then, I'll try to grow some good grapes.
7567793
I'm lucky I got the creepy sense! In the future, I'll make a much better story with substance. I was trying to see if I can even make ya flinch, so I'm glad I did!
7567607
I'm glad I got a feeling of hopelessness, and thanks for thinking it was even mildly scary! In the future, I'll make a story with more background, reason, and substance. I'm very glad I got the creep factor.
7567520
Thanks for the feedback! You can expect a better story in the future, and it'll make much more sense than this one. I'll add more background and I'll make it more of a chase. I'll definately do better. Thanks again!
7567462
I'm glad my writing was good! In the future, I'll have a story that has more of a background and reason for the scares to be there. I'm glad you thought it was at least scary though!
7568919 I shall look forward to that.
I'll be doing a reading of this. This is actually quite good. I'll link you to the reading when it's done, hopefully later today.
7569586
You just made my dream come true! Thank you so much! I'll add this into my description! (You are an amazing pony)
7569687 You're welcome. I found this as an underestimated story, so I gave it its deserved needs. Great job on it, and congrats on being the first reading for Month of Macabre, as you'll see at the start of the video
7569701
*squee* Again, thank you so much!
7569710
7568897 no problem, I'm glad to have helped.
This was amazing, expect one more like both for support (because you currently have more dislikes than likes) and because this was a overall one of the scariest stories I've ever read.
7570778
Thank you so much! Every little bit of support really helps. (And I'm glad you thought it was scary! *mission accomplished*)
7571445 It was! And you're welcome, I always love a good horror story.