It should have been the happiest day of her life. Despite all odds, Twilight passed the entrance exam to Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Not only that, but she also got asked to be the Princess’s personal protege. And if that wasn’t already amazing enough, she even got her cutie mark! So why wasn’t the filly prancing around in circles shouting “Yes, Yes, Yes” over and over again?
Being the victim of an uncontrolled surge did not only grant her enough magic to give life to a dragon but apparently also made it possible for her to get glimpses of her future, showing her a destiny she really does not care for. So, knowing where her current path would lead her, there is really no sensible alternative than throwing everything away and changing her destiny to one she can agree to, setting her up for a life of intrigue and adventure, uncovering the many mysteries surrounding her and a certain pegasus, to find out who they really are.
Unfortunately, in doing so, she ruins the carefully laid out plans a certain Princess of the Sun had drawn up. But knowing the forgiving nature of Celestia, there is no way that could lead to conflict, right?
Huge thanks to the amazing Mutter_Butter for the cover image and to the amazing LastToTheParty, for becoming my proofreader/editor.
So she is not anti being a princess and living forever. She just wants the "rainbow angel" to also live forever with her.
Hmm... interesting AU. I'll have to see where this goes.
I hope you enjoyed reading the second chapter of my story.
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If you have any thoughts, positive or negative, please leave them in the comments. I always strive to improve my writing, and your feedback helps a lot
Critical Failure on Cadance,
Also:
I don't know whether I should be laughing or concern about this. I'll track to see where this goes.
Edit: Formating
Now here she is not rejecting magic, just putting something before it. I wondered if she told caddie about her crush on the rainbow angel, how the princess of love will react.
I'm not sure if this is intentional or not, but this chapter kinda sounds like the debate around parents pushing their children down a career path when they are young. I mean, I understand her parents concern here, but it's also Twilight's choice at the end of the day.
Either way great chapter.
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Thank you so much for your feedback
It seemed like a natural reaction for Twilight's parents and hopefully helped to establish/shape characters and plot.
Well the future has changed the past
The flames of Daybreaker or showing.
An interesting start to a different way things can go. I liked how you did that little bit RD overheard.
Looking forward to where you take this from here.
If you change the future you change the past
So wait, are you implying that the reason why Equstria's military in the show was a little too absent at times was because corruption and lack of actual experience has rendered them ineffective?
That... makes a depressing amount of sense.
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I am so happy to hear you liked it. Sometimes we just need somebody that genuinely believes in us and takes us for who we are.
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I wasn't considering corruption when writing the segment, but that could also be a possibility or contributing factor.
In this case, I was thinking about a mixture of lack of experience, lack of funds, and mismanagement beginning with the princess herself, with those factors leading to a severe lack of morale.
(The lack of funds was also implied with/a reference to the guard encounter in Ponyville, but I don't know if that was obvious enough)
so from what we can tell twilight has had an spell put on her by celestia and also has a extreme draw to her " rainbow angel". that along with the news that twilights life up to this point has been involved alot with celestias plans and manipulations likely means celestia put the spell on her to make twilight worship her. very twisted
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That would be a very reasonable conclusion, indeed.
But would Celestia really go so far as to twist Twilight using mind magic?
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from what we have seen so far yes i do think so. And i even think that twilights draw to rainbow after her vision might have been to do with a error in the enchantment celestia put on her so with twilight small circle of ponys she knows we have to ask... who does celestia want twilight to listen to? why it seems to be the two ponys who both have rainbow hair. who knows maby it is something else that caused twilight to latch on to rainbow but you have to at least admit that its very sus and the writer did a good job either way if it was a mislead or not
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Well, I am the writer, so I can't really respond further without giving anything away
What I can say, however, is that, for one, I am happy to hear that you think I did a good job and that you have clearly put a lot of thought into this.
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even if you did it by accident its still a good job on your part. I mean on one hand the idea that a enchantment that celestia did to manipulate twilight is the undoing of her plan is funny on its own but the possiblity of the enchantment not being confermed to be that yet is a good way to go to potentialy build tension for the reveal of it being for that or something else.
I mean with the current info we have we have 1 possiblity and one thing we know it is not.
We know it is not a tracking spell as if it was twilight would have been found quick.
We do have the question of if it is a mind spell but do not know what kind untill you reveal it.
Overall i look forward to this storys next chapter and the eventual meeting of all the elements as having 3 of the 6 already either suspisous or flat out hostile to celestia will be fun to use
liked
Fun chapter. I love how close Twilight and Rainbow are getting. Also, I like how Chrysalis is willing to help them out, but I am curious about what will happen when Chrysalis ends up getting desperate for the survival of the changelings.
Now that’s really going to make things difficult for Celestia. Thanks to Sneak’s hubris, Rainbow Dash’s entire life will be ruined and Twilight and Rainbow will both blame Celestia for it and, if Celestia ever does find out about this, Sneak will be in serious trouble, not just for what has become of Rainbow’s parents, but also for trying to cover it up without Celestia’s acknowledgment or approval.
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i think celestia would have forgiven the memory wipe in her twisted mental state she is in now but to kill rainbows parents will likely make her loose it. Maby she will formulate a plan that is just as unhinged? claim to be rainbows real mom? that seems like the kinda unhinged plan celestia is decending into.
Side note: what is twilights origins in this? i remember talk of adpotion and an experement but was there any other clarification
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I have corrected it. Thank you for telling me
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Twilight's origin is kept vague on purpose (for now).
But there might have been some hints... as well as some false leads.
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well might aswell add some then. Twilight is luna and sombras kid. twilight is a kid made by celestia cutting off a bit of the tree of harmony. twilight is a kid made by celestia somehow. Twilight is discords kid. This twilight is future twilight who when depressed used a spell to go back to the past to save her freind from death and her from lonelyness. Twilight is what was left over once celestia blasted nightmare moon. twilight is starswirls kid.
Any other massive reaches i can put out there to help mislead people?
I would not want to be Cadence right now...
Did Twilight just performed Astral Projection? She really is powerful with potential.
Also, Those guards made her drop a baby!? They're gonna get it now!
This is so good. Well done with all the emotional reactions they have kinda been a bit of a rollacoster in this story (in a good way).
Hoping Twilight does not do anything (eles) crazy.
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Thank you for your kind words
Really great story so far.
Hoping Twilight gets revenge on Celestia by teaming up with Luna/Nightmare Moon and using the elements on her
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What a load of baloney that is the biggest lie I've ever heard I think celestia is delusional to spread such malarkey
Really celestia now you're slandering twilight sparkle that's low even for you dark magic twilight sparkle would think twice before using it if she knew any you can't make others do what they don't want to twilight sparkle is innocent
Besides she is just a innocent filly she doesn't know dark magic she's too young and apparently you celestia aren't using common sense
Oh great now celestia is getting hysterical what next she starts going insane
Called it celestia is going insane she's making random assumptions with clouded judgement
I wouldn't be so sure about that twilight Celestia thinks you used dark magic which I highly doubt you did
Lies all lies damnit get it through your thick skull and tell the truth
If the princess told you to go jump off a cliff would you do it?
I know I wouldn't
Rarity, Shy, and Applejack are having much different times.
Rarity is being beloved. Shy is mind-bucking bad ponies. AJ is hog tied. :)
celestia is thinking she has been wrong about stuff, and will be very upset when she learns of Rainbow's mom and dad.
Why isn't there a mystery tag?
Hi everyone,
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Chapter 12 is finally done. Thank you so much for making the journey with me (as well as, of course, Twilight and Rainbow). You are the best readers one could wish for
I was so happy when I reached the 10-chapter mark. I mean, feedback was overwhelmingly positive, reach was way better than I had anticipated, and chapter 10 was literally called "Revelations". It was a coincidence that managed to put a smile on my face. What more could an author want?
Soon another milestone will be reached, the 100 thousand words milestone.
However, I realize the story has made many twists and turns, especially after chapter 10. For me, that didn't seem to be an issue since I always thought that they fit well or had (at least tried to) put indications in these directions before, but that doesn't mean anything since I can't possibly judge unbiasedly, which is why I wanted to ask you:
Is the story still easy to follow as well as engaging? I always fear that I may make it too convoluted.
Also, I am curious if you think whether or not I did a good job of covering the multiple topics that were addressed during it?
Your feedback really means a lot to me and will definitely be taken into account in the following chapters.
I know, however, that not everyone wants to comment publicly from experience. So, if you wish, you can also send me a private message. They are always open.
Ok, enough ramblings from me. Once again, thank you for your interest. Princess Celestia may have managed to stall Twilights and Rainbow's adventure for now, but I promise it will continue soon
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I followed the recommendation in the writing guide: "My personal recommendation is that you choose one or two tags (at most three) that are most relevant and use them. Any more than that and things start to look a little messy", and now I am hesitant to make changes (Also I don't know which tag I should replace if I were to make changes).
Edit: Now that I think about it, a mystery tag does seem really fitting. I will consider it, but there is still the issue of me not knowing which tag to change.
Regardless, thank you for pointing it out
Cadence is thinking of all the horror of someone like Celestia having power....like Celestia.
Really while Celestia has done a lot of bad things, a lot of ponies under her turn it up to 11.
Another chapter is done
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As you may have noticed, I have taken longer to write this chapter. The reason for that is, besides its length, that I no longer have as much free time on my hands. So, unfortunately, updates will probably take longer from here on.
Another thing I wanted to mention is that I have created a Ko-fi page as an option for those that wish to show their support through a donation.
Thank you so much for your continuing to walk this path with me. You rock.
Parliament falling to Celestia may be a very good thing. As Celestia looks to be giving in to Twilight, and Rainbow Dash is acting like a rock getting Twilight to stay good.
Cadence supporting the parliament (who look to be all nobles pissing on the common ponies) sounds like picking the greater of two evils (Celestia thinks she is doing what is right for ponies, while the nobles are doing only what is right for themselves), but maybe she wanted Celestia to kill them all. If she wanted a democracy, she would have to had killed all the nobles. There was to much corruption there and Celestia has held off fixing it for over 1,000 years. So why not get Celestia to make the bloody order; to keep her own hoof clean.
Celestia: the paragon of pony kindness and acceptance
Twilight: runs off after a cosmic plot-call
Celestia: "Very well, execution it is."
That said, kinda makes sense, going 1000 years with only one promising solution, and then having to make an emergency backup after the first attempt went AWOL, only for THAT attempt to also run off, would probably make anypony act a little unfriendly.
Most likely yes. Since you denied her retirement plan
Which she will.
And anyone else getting the emperor of mankind vibes from Tia?