Changing Our Destinies

by silent_user

Chapter 11 - Scars

What am I even doing here?

It had taken some time to find the castle library on her own, but that was ok. Walking around, just being alone for a moment with her thoughts, had been a relief.

“Hi. I am looking for all books regarding alicorns and immortality. Is it possible for you to fetch them for me, please? I don’t feel so well at the moment.” Twilight asked the librarian.

“Sure….” The mare just stared at the young alicorn. “I will… bring them to your table.” With those words, she quickly sped off.

I doubt those books will help me to grant Rainbow immortality, but hopefully, they will give me a general understanding of the topic.

Twilight sat down on one of the free tables, levitating Spike onto it.

In the corner of her eyes, she could see the librarian arguing with two guards, frantically pointing towards her multiple times. A whispering match ensued between them before the guards walked away, taking position at the library entrance, with the librarian now rushing around even more frantically.

“Oh, Spike. At least we will always be together.” Twilight muttered.

At least until you, too, die.

“I suppose that just means I will have to find a way to ascend you too.” A mammoth task lay ahead of her.

"Or I could just give up. Why even bother if Dashie will never return my feelings anyway?” She lowered her head on the table, burying it in her wings. “I would just burden her with the same problems I am facing.

“She would always just yearn for her true love.”

And ascending her is something I will never do.

Not even for Dashie.

“I am just some tool for some crazy princess. Mom and dad are in jail because of me. I made a mad deal with a bunch of bugs.

“I will never get the love of my life.

“I will be forced to see everypony die around me.”

Just look at what princess Celestia has become.

"Why don't I simply end it right here instead of waiting for the inevitable- Ahh!”

Twilight jumped up, startled.

He bit me!

Twilight looked at the baby dragon in shock.

“Princess! Is everything alright?” The guards rushed towards her.

"…Yes.” Twilight motioned for them to leave again.

I wonder if Princess Celestia told them to call me princess.

Then again, what differences does it make? It's just some worthless title, anyway.

She returned her focus back to Spike.

He was terrified.

I shouldn’t have said that.

Not when he was listening.

“Spike… I… I didn’t mean…." Spike trembled. Her stuttering only made it worse.

And I complained to Dashie about some stupid book.

“I am just not feeling well right now. I didn’t mean what I said.” It didn’t work. The little dragon began crying.

How could I do this to him?

Twilight gently levitated him towards her, caressing him.

"Everything will be fine, Spike. You don't have to worry about me. I-”

“Here are some books on the topics you wanted to know about, Princess.” The librarian meekly put them on the table. “I will bring you the others as soon as possible.” The mare bowed in front of her.

“I… umm… thank you?” To Twilight's dismay, she didn't go away.

Please don’t let that be the new normal.

“You can leave now.” The words were spoken more forcefully than intended, causing the librarian to dart away.

Where was I?

Right… I traumatized Spike.

Once again, she focused her attention on him, hoping that there wouldn’t be any interruption this time. “Spike, I am not going to go anywhere.” The dragon stared her right in the eyes. No words were spoken, but Twilight understood the question. "Yes, Spike. I promise.” She gave him a kiss on the forehead. “If I were to leave, who would take care of you?

"Who would free my parents? Who would wield the element of magic?"

I can’t doom the entire planet.

Spike snuggled against her. “Mommy.”

…

…

…

“I… am…”

Not your mother?

Pleading, and once again, scared eyes gazed at her. Only this time, the reason why they were scared was different.

Who else would it be?

Am I really going to make the same mistake princess Celestia made?

Wings enveloped Spike, pulling him as close to her as they could, another kiss on the forehead following. “I love you too, Spike Sparkle.”

The relief was clearly visible. The little dragon looked like a load had been taken from his mind.

“You are a fast learner, aren’t you? Already speaking your first words and understanding me.” Twilight praised him.

Or I suppose it could be the normal learning speed for dragons.

With a smile on his face, Spike spoke his next words. “Rainbow mommy.”

…

…

…

Why is this happening to me?

“Spike, Dashie isn’t…. I don’t think she… I can’t force her…” a clear sentence wouldn’t form.

How am I going to break this to him?

“Rainbow mommy?”

“Spike, Dashie doesn’t love me, which means she probably wouldn’t want to raise you with me, no matter how much I would want her to.” She gave him an apologetic smile.

“Rainbow mommy,” Spike sobbed.

Don't do this to me, Spike. If you don't stop, then I might very well force her to love me after all.

“Spike, I already considered forcing her. Doing so wouldn’t be right. No matter how much it hurts us.” Twilight tried to explain.

“You considered using force to make me love you?”

Oh no!

“There there, Spike.” Rainbow appeared in Twilight's vision, carefully removing Spike from the wings he was encased in, enveloping him in her own. “Rainbow mommy is here for you.”

She really is too good for me.

Twilight whirled around, facing the pegasus. “Dashie, you don’t have to do this! Don’t feel forced into something you don’t want!”

“Why?” Only Rainbow had asked the question, but judging by Spike's face, he would have too asked it if he could.

Because we would ruin your life, selfishly robbing you of your happiness for our own.

“Dashie, you can’t let yourself get chained up here! Your happiness is out there! Not here!

Not with us.

Not with me.

“Why didn’t you give me a chance to answer? Why are you so convinced that I would have said no?” Rainbow walked forward. “Why do you believe that I don’t love you.” She caressed her face against Twilights. “Why do you believe I would have chosen anypony over my purple devil?” In one swift motion, she pressed her lips on Twilights.

Twilight returned the kiss.

I love her.

And that is why I have to let go.

But before she did that, she would enjoy this moment to the fullest, throwing her wings over the pegasus, pulling her as close as she could, Spike being enveloped in Rainbow's wings between them.

You are making this so hard for me, Dashie.

One of them would have to be the first one to stop.

No one wanted to.

***

The seven ponies entered the apple farm together.

The thought about the charade they would stage next made at least three of them feel sick.

And if they had been aware of what was really going on, Shimmering and Shade, the two guards accompanying them, too, would have felt terrible. Especially if they had known that it was their report about how a little orange earth pony had gotten her cutie mark that had been the final piece needed to convince a pencil pusher somewhere in Canterlot to sign off on this.

Alas, now it was too late.

Unaware of what was in store for them, the three residents greeted them cheerfully.

That was until the oldest one noticed the insignia of the Equestrian Foal Protective Services on two of the ponies.

Wordlessly the judge accompanying them handed her a folder with documents.

But then again, what was he supposed to say? If it were up to him, he would have never signed them in the first place.

“Granny? Big Mac? What’s going on?”

One of the unknown ponies kneeled down in front of her. "Hi there, Jacqueline. I am Summer." She turned her head around, glaring at the ponies in the background. “You got your cutie mark due to the sonic rainboom, correct? Because it made you realize where you were supposed to be?”

“Yes, why?” Applejack asked, slightly annoyed by the use of her actual name.

The question was expected, yet Summer had no answer to it. She herself didn’t even know why she was instructed to ask it. “No reason. I am afraid you will have to come with us for some time.”

“You can’t take her with you! For what reason!” Granny Smith confronted them more energetically than expected.

Immediately Shade darted forward, putting himself protectively in front of Summer. “You have violated the Basic Education Act. Jacqueline has not attended a secondary school as required by it. EFPS will take her back to Manehattan so that she can get the education she not only needs but is also entitled to."

It only angered the old mare further. “What kind of farce is this! I have never heard of a foal being taken away from a farming family due to an Education Act violation-“

“Did aunt and uncle Orange put you up to this,” Applejack interrupted.

“Who?” Summer's colleague Dandelion lied, well aware of who the original complainants were.

To her astonishment, the small filly saw right through her lie. “I can’t believe they would do such a thing!”

Two ponies, however, were quite pleased by the development. If Applejack was to blame her aunt and uncle, it would make their job far easier.

Hesitantly Shimmering interjected himself in the conversation. “Just because we usually don’t enforce it, doesn’t mean that the law doesn’t apply-“

“Ponyville doesn’t even have a secondary school!” Granny Smith shut him up.

“Irrelevant.” Shade jumped in to shield his colleague.

There was no point in arguing, causing Granny Smith to relent. "Fine. Then I will organize a school for her."

It was what Summer, Dandelion, and the judge accompanying them had feared. The loss of their justification.

“I am afraid that we don’t have confidence in that. Big McIntosh never visited secondary school either, did he? I came here with the EFPS to personally confirm the accusations, and looking around, I am afraid that we have come to the conclusion that this isn’t a good place for Jacqueline to grow up-”

"It's Applejack!" the orange filly screamed. “And I will never come with you!” With those words, she started to run.

Having expected the filly to do something stupid, especially after his experience with Twilight, Shade darted after her.

What he didn’t account for, however, was that her brother, who behaved so inconspicuously he completely forgot about him, would throw himself on him.

Now on the ground, he was wrestling with the surprisingly strong earth pony, his colleague Shimmering trying to use his magic to get him off him.

“We can take her with us now, correct?” the ESS agents accompanying them asked the judge.

“No. Custody may have been formally transferred, but you will still need a court order, authorization by a superior based on applicable law, or permission from the EFPS.” The judge happily answered. He wouldn’t be the bad guy in this.

And to Summer's dismay, the ESS agents now turned towards her. "We will need your permission then, as head of the Manehattan EFPS division.”

“…

“Ok.” She wasn’t able to see them in the eyes.

It sparred her from seeing the victorious smile on their faces. Faces that enjoyed the fact that they had broken her. Once, she had promised herself to always use her position to protect foals. Protect them like she needed protection. Now they had made her break this promise far more easily than she would have liked to admit. Worst of all, with a judge as a witness present, they could do the paperwork later, meaning she wouldn’t be able to take it back.

“Thank you.” The ESS agents turned their back on her. “We will take it from here." It was time to hunt for the little filly so that they could take her to the princess.

Walking past Shimmering and Shade, still wrestling with Big McIntosh as well as Granny Smith, silently looking in the direction Applejack had run in, they asked themselves why their colleagues had had such difficulties with the previous fillies.

After all, all they had to do was use their positions to force other ponies into playing the bad guy for them.

***

Since neither Twilight nor Rainbow could bring themselves to end the kiss first, they were forced to pull back at the same time.

A feat they succeeded in despite the odds.

What was left were five words Rainbow still needed Twilight to hear. “I love you too, Twi.”

This is everything I want.

I just need to take it.

“Dashie, you cant-“

"Twi, you don't get it. My heart belongs to you. Not some miracle pony I might never meet.

“You were there for me when I needed you.

“You believed in me when I was at my lowest.

“You saved my life.

“And even when you were down, you still made the impossible possible just to protect me.” Rainbow stroked Twilight with her wing. “If I ever encounter that supposed miracle pony, you won't have to worry. My heart is already taken after all.”

“Cadence said that I might be a danger to you! That I-“

“Then Cadence has no idea what she is talking about.” Rainbow dismissed her concerns.

And with that, all doubts Twilight still held were gone.

She chose me!

Against all odds, she chose me!

Me!

"Oh, Dashie, you have made the happiest filly on the planet!” Once again, Rainbow was enveloped in a crushing hug.

“What can I say, Twi. Every rainbow angel needs her purple devil.” Rainbow kissed Twilight's head.

“You are such a roman- Hey! Why am I a devil!” Twilight feigned a look of offence.

“Well… probably because of the flames…

“And, you know… the red eyes-

“Ok, ok. I get it.” Twilight stopped her. “Fine. I am your purple devil. There are bound to be worse nicknames out there… hopefully.”

Purple devil.

I am not going to admit it to her, but I like it.

…

Hopefully, I won't actually turn into one.

“So, Spike. What have you two been doing while I-“

“Dashie!” Shock had gripped Twilight. “Why are there bandages on your wing?”

How did I not see them previously?

And there are bandages on her hoofs too.

“Twi… I kind of lost my cool after you left.” Shame had spread on the pegasus face. “I asked myself if I, too, was in love with you. My feelings were all over the place, so I tried to think about us.” The more she spoke, the more she began to shift around, eyes darting around the room, doing everything to avoid Twilight. "You know… weighing the pros and cons."

There is nothing wrong with that.

“I… thought about how us being together would mean I would get to be royalty… about how I could take advantage of your power.

“I just needed to let off some steam…

“And… I… I didn’t care that I was hurting myself when I did that…."

…

…

…

Twilight did her best to maintain a calm façade. “Did you think it would make me happy to hear that you have punished yourself for these thoughts?”

“No,” Rainbow admitted.

“Then why-“

“But aren’t you mad at me?” The pegasus inquired. “I thought about pretending to love you!”

“I don’t think I could ever be mad at you. At least not for more than 5 minutes-“

“What I did was terrible!” Rainbow couldn’t believe that she would simply overlook what she had done.

“You made a list with the pros and cons, acknowledging that getting together with me would mean power and a title. You thought about saying yes because of it. I wouldn't have done anything differently.” Twilight used one of her wings to caress Rainbow's cheek. “Dashie, you are an angel, not a saint. What matters is that in the end, you not only didn't decide to return my feelings because of these thoughts but also came forward about them, realizing that they were wrong.”

“…”

Not sure if she had gotten through to her, Twilight continued. “I love you, Dashie. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“…”

“Spike doesn’t want to see you hurt.”

“…”

“Please promise me not to do that again.”

“…

“…

“…

“I can’t.” Was the response Rainbow gave. It left Twilight numb.

I need to get Spike out of here.

“Spike, Dashie and I need to talk alone for a bit, but Cadence will take good care of you. I… trust her." She soothed the little dragon that luckily didn't seem to have realized the severity of the situation this time.

“Guards!” Twilight shouted, which caused the two to immediately come running towards her.

Wait! They have seen all that! Probably heard it too!

Unfortunately, she had no time to deal with it right now. She could only hope they were instructed not to snitch on them, yet she also knew by what she had witnessed before that they weren’t.

“Please take Spike to princess Cadence and clean out the library. I don't want anypony bothering us, no matter what happens,” she instructed them.

“Of course, princess.” One of them took Spike away from a puzzled Rainbow while the other quickly fetched the librarian. To her confusion, the dragon seemed a bit afraid of the guards.

Maybe because of what he has witnessed back in the Forbidden Jungle?

Once the doors closed, they were alone.

“If you didn’t do it because of me, then why?” Twilight mustered her.

“I am not good at handling emotions, Twi.” Rainbow longed for a hug. Fortunately, Twilight was there to give her one. With the strength the purple filly gave her, she continued. “I know that why I did was wrong! I know that I shouldn’t let them out like this! …And I know that I shouldn’t hurt myself while doing so… Yet, when I do, everything becomes so clear again.” The warmth Twilight provided felt good.

She needs help.

Whether or not that would be professional help was still in the air. For one, Twilight still had some avenues she wanted to try first. But there was also this sneaking suspicion that Rainbow wouldn’t want to seek professional help.

I am the first she ever admitted this, too, aren't I? Chances are high nopony else knows about this.

And she probably wouldn’t want that to change.

Hesitantly, she continued to probe for more information. “Dashie, how many times have you done it before?”

“Often, Twi… Way too often. It didn’t start like this… but by now, I take them out on the stuff surrounding me every time they become too much… And when I get hurt in the process… that's all the better." Rainbow wasn't finished, though. "My life hasn’t been going that well recently. I have been feeling so lonely. So depressed." Rainbow gazed into Twilight's eyes. "I wouldn't even have cared if you had been some dark witch if you would have offered me to take these feelings away from me. Secretly I had been hoping you would be able to do that anyway… Which you did, I suppose." Rainbow's eyes turned away again.

She…

She has left something out.

“Dashie… what did you just skip?” Twilight's voice was on edge.

"I…

"I… one night when it had all been too much, I had been contemplating switching to a sharp object instead.“

Why!

Just why would you do that!

Why you, of all ponies!

The desperate way in which Rainbow spoke pained Twilight.

"I didn’t do it, though. I knew that I would have had trouble explaining where those injuries would have stemmed from since hiding them would have been difficult. My anger outbursts didn’t bring me those problems, so I fled into them instead… luckily nopony ever noticed why I had them more and more often…

“Why they became more and more severe…

“The more I had them, the more they became natural to me. I didn’t even think about unloading my emotions in this way or wanting to hurt myself… I just did it automatically…

“And back in the room when the feeling of pain set in, my thoughts indeed became clear, Twi.”

Twilight wrestled with herself. She didn’t feel qualified to help.

But not only that. She also felt like a black hole was threatening to suck her in.

I…

I… have to stay strong.

She trusted me enough to come forward with this, and now I must help her overcome it.

…

I just can’t let myself fall victim to it as well.

At least the hug they had fled themselves in meant that Twilight didn’t have to make eye contact with the pegasus, or she would have broken down on the spot. “Dashie…, you aren’t immortal yet. What if one day you overdo it? What if we lose you because of that?”

“I…

“I don’t want that to happen,“ Rainbow muttered.

“But it could very well happen if you continue this!” Twilight's grip on her tightened.

“I… will be careful.” It didn't sound compelling.

“Dashie!” Twilight pleaded. “You don’t need to do that! Why flee into those outbursts when I am there for you now? When you can open yourself to me instead, no matter the problem?"

“I… You wouldn’t be able to understand anyway.” The moment Rainbow had spoken those words, she regretted them. Twilight had forcefully pulled away, looking at her with a mix of emotions.

All of them were directed at her, and they definitely weren't positive.

I…

I can’t…

I don’t know how to fix this.

Tears started to form in Rainbow's eyes. Realization set in.

Realization that she should have stayed quiet.

That she shouldn’t have burdened Twilight with that.

All she wanted was to tell somepony, and after an eternity, she finally felt that she could.

Finally, she had thought that somepony would be there for her. Somepony who would help her to stop those outbursts. Help her get her emotions under control, something she had wanted to do for a very long time yet never found the strength to do. Somepony that would understand her.

Alas, she had made a mistake. A mistake that threatened to ruin everything.

A voice that had previously tried to stop her was chastising her full force now.

Thanks to her stupidity, Twilight would never be able to look at her the same way again.

I need to think of something.

I may not know how to fix this right now, but I can at least buy myself some time.

I can at least ensure I will be there for her when the time comes.

“Twi, I-“

“Dashie, you are right. I don’t understand why you do that.” Rainbow's face fell further. "But I will get to the bottom of this.

"And, of course, I will be there for you. I promise you, we will get through this together." Twilight straightened herself out, closing the distance between them again that she had carelessly put between them.

“Really? You would do that?” Rainbow could barely believe it. A fight broke out, thoughts battling each other. Thought about whether Twilight was being genuine or not.

"For you, I would do anything, Dashie," Twilight assured her. There was, however, one condition she needed Rainbow to accept.

Please say yes!

If you don’t… I…

I will have to get professional help for you, even if you don’t want to.

“If you ever feel like you are in danger of being overwhelmed by emotions again… if you ever feel the need to hurt yourself again… If you ever feel like you are alone… call for me before it’s too much for you to handle, and please try not to immediately flee into another one of your outbursts. At least then, I will be near you should things go awry.

“I will be there for you. All you need to do is call me, Dashie.

“Please promise me that you will call me, Dashie.” Anxiously Twilight awaited her response.

Hopefully I will actually be able to help you naviagte through your emtions then.

“Twi… I… I don’t know about this.” Rainbow tried to avoid committing herself to Twilight's plea. “What if I forget to do so? Also… I don’t think I would… I don’t think I could do anything with you looking. I don’t want you to witness my low points….” The words were vague, but they filled Twilight with hope.

That would be the best outcome.

“Dashie, I swear I won’t judge you. Please just allow me to be there for you,” she followed up.

The pressure it put on Rainbow began to make her panic. Thoughts about how this was a ploy by Twilight to control her began to frighten her. How Twilight would be standing there to judge her, looking at her disparagingly.

How Twilight would just give up on her, sending her to some institution instead.

A feat that her brain told her was all the more realistic now since, as a princess, Twilight did have the power to do so at a moment's notice.

Oh, Dashie. Why are you making this so hard for yourself?

Why can’t you see that I want to help you?

It frustrated the purple filly. To her, Rainbow wasn’t behaving rationally, and all her efforts to account for that as well as to accommodate the pegasus, had been failing miserably. Yet, she couldn't fail. Not when it would result in her having to betray Rainbow's trust, even if it would be for her own good.

“Why have you told me this, Dashie?” Twilight fired her last shot.

"Because I needed to tell it to somepony,” Rainbow mumbled. “And you were the first pony I felt I could reveal this to.“

“And because you want help, don’t you?” Twilight probed.

I mean, you basically told me about this the first chance you could, so I can only imagine how deeply this has burdened you.

“Dashie, you did the right thing. I am here for you. I will help you. All you need to do is let me.” Twilight nuzzled her.

Rainbow nuzzled back.

All the dark thoughts that had previously tried to influence her disappeared.

She had done it. She had jumped over her shadow.

She wouldn’t be alone anymore. Twilight would be there for her, helping her, not judging. Not giving up.

Genuinely helping her.

“Ok, Twi. I will do that. I will get you if I feel like that again.” Rainbow pushed her away, making eye contact. With all the sincerity she could muster, she formed her subsequent sentences. "Thank you for being there for me.

“Thank you for being patient with me.

“Thank you for understanding me.

“And thank you for not rejecting me. For not sending me to somepony else.”

Not sure if that is a good thing, though. You need a professional, not some filly.

But for now, Twilight was relieved. They didn’t win the war, but they did win the first battle.

“Twi?” Uncertainty was once again audible. “Can I kiss you again?”

Why would…

I suppose it's normal for her to feel insecure right now.

“Oh, Dashie." For a moment, she let a look of pity slip. Strangely, it didn’t bother Rainbow this time.

Collecting herself, Twilight moved her lips as close to Rainbows as she could without them touching. "You don't have to ask. You can always kiss me. Wherever you want, whenever you want.”

Happily, Rainbow closed the distance. Ecstasy gripped her, just like it did when she had successfully escaped from Cloudsdale.

It made her love the purple filly even more, leading to her feeling an amount of love she didn’t think was possible to feel for a single pony.

Love for the purple filly who, on her own, freed Rainbow one by one of the problems that had threatened to drown her, granting her an intoxicating feeling of the freedom she had longed for such a long time.

The burst of euphoria unloaded itself on Twilight in full force, taking her by sheer surprise. Rainbow pushed herself on her, barraging her with kisses.

I am dreaming, aren’t I?

Twilight fully leaned in, further encouraging Rainbow to continue.

The two fillies were so engrossed with each other that they didn't even stop when they could hear a commotion outside, followed by the library door being slammed open.

***

I should have listened to the guard.

Meekly, Cadence closed the door again, but she didn’t leave the room, not letting herself get distracted by the display, examining it closely.

Indeed, she could see bandages on Rainbow.

Maybe this isn’t so bad?

They certainly don’t look concerned-

No! This cannot be ignored!

Cadence cleared her throat.

It didn’t work.

Rainbow continued her assault on Twilight, both fillies doing their best to ignore her existence.

I am going to have to separate them, aren’t I?

Why did I wake up today?

“Twilight? Rainbow?” Cadence tried again, closing the distance between them.

All it did was encourage Twilight to start returning Rainbows kisses, knowing that they couldn’t ignore Cadence forever.

And as she had feared, Cadence did indeed use her magic to separate them.

“What!” Both fillies screamed at her.

Ok, so how am I going to start this conversation?

But before she could start, Twilight pieced together the reason why she came. “You don’t have to worry about Dashie. We have everything under control.”

Unfortunately, those words also made Rainbow, too, realize why the princess of love had come, panic filling her.

At least, it did for a short time. Quickly Twilight put a wing on her, nuzzling her ear, muttering calming words into it.

I should have asked for a psychologist to accompany me. I am way out of my league.

Regardless, she had already ruined their moment, so she might very well go through with it now. “Twilight, Rainbow, we all know that these last few days have been hard on you. I think you should go and seek some professional help-“

“I don’t need some random pony to help me! I already have Twi!” Rainbow immediately shut her down.

It didn't make Twilight all that happy. She would have preferred Rainbow to accept the offer, but she wasn’t going to show that to her. Not when it could risk all the trust she had built between them. “That’s right, Cadence! Dashie and I have already figured everything out between us. She doesn’t need your meddling."

"You, as in both of you, Twilight. The guard also told me how you thought about-" Cadence quickly stopped herself, the wide eyes of Rainbow alerting her to the fact that she hadn't known about Twilight's low point.

Why am I messing up so much! What is wrong with me!

Rainbow turned around, facing said filly. “How you thought about what, Twi?”

It brought Twilight in distress. “It was just some stupid thought! I didn’t actually think about doing it! I-“

“Doing what, Twi!” Rainbow screamed from the top of her lungs, already fearing the worst if it led Cadence to behave in that way.

“I entertained the thought of killing myself," Twilight revealed. "But I immediately dismissed it!” She quickly added.

It did little to help. Rainbow was defeated. Twilight may have been a bit gullible, but to Rainbow, she had been the strongest pony she had ever met. The thought that said friend had actually been thinking about such a thing… the thought that she had now burdened said friend with her own problems too…

Why did I barge in like that! I made everything worse!

But before she could try to fix the mess she had created, Rainbow spoke up again. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why think about that in the first place?”

The distress Twilight felt was dialled up to eleven. She needed to tell Rainbow, but at the same time, she couldn't. Not because she didn't want to but because it would only burden them more.

“Don’t you trust me, Twi? After everything we have just been through?” The words broke Twilight's restraint.

"I thought about it because I thought you were never going to return my feelings! Because I thought I would have to see how you were going to fall for somepony else! And because of the whole immortality thing.” Twilight added. "It's not that I don't trust you… I just didn't want to pressure you into a relationship with me…."

I…

Did I put her down this path?

Cadence felt like she would throw up any moment. She knew that Twilight was more than likely not in a stable state of mind when she had talked to her about Rainbow. How could she have been after the revelations Celestia had made? Yet, she had ignored the warning signs out of fear that waiting could cause irreparable damage.

Turns out that acting can cause damage as well.

Rainbow, however, too, realized who the pony responsible for Twilight's dark thoughts was, grabbing the books the librarian had put on the table and starting to throw them at Cadence, a form of attack the princess hadn't anticipated.

"You did this to her! What did you tell her about me!" The first book hit her right in the face.

I only wanted to protect you!

"You call yourself the princess of love! Then how did you miss that I would never reject, Twi!" Only barely did she manage to avoid the following books.

They only stopped when Twilight had managed to collect herself, convincing Rainbow to stop. "She only meant well, Dashie. I had some really dark thoughts of another kind.” Twilight nuzzled the enraged pegasus. “I will tell you later, ok?”

Twilight walked towards the shocked princess of love.

I know that I have trouble identifying emotions other than love and those directly connected to love, but how could I miss these gigantic problems!

Twilight stood in front of her, reflexively Cadence lifted her wings protectively in front of her face. "Look, Cadence. I know you want to help us, right now, however, we would still like to try and figure this out between ourselves, ok? I promise that we will come back to you if we don’t manage to do that.”

I can’t allow that! This is no joke!

“The guards told me that Rainbow hurt herself! And even if you immediately dismissed the thought of killing yourself, you too should seek immediate help after everything you have been through! This isn't a game!" Cadence tried to appeal to Twilight's rational side.

In response, Twilight turned around, walking back to Rainbow.

The two fillies whispered to each other frantically for what felt like an eternity.

Once the whispering had concluded, they came back together.

“Rainbow and I… we… your concerns are valid,” Twilight started.

Seeing that her friend had trouble conveying their decision, Rainbow jumped in. "Here is the deal. I bucked up. When I came forward to Twi, I only thought about myself, not realizing the burden I would settle her with-“

But Twilight wasn’t willing to allow her to blame herself. “Rainbow and I, we would still like to handle things between us, but we also think it would be best for us if you were to check on us occasionally, making sure we are ok. That way, we will have a third party keeping an eye on us, and you can intervene if things turn sour."

Why are you so averse to the idea of seeking professional help?

Yet, the princess of love recognized that she could call herself very fortunate that the fillies had entertained the idea at all.

"Yes. Also, I will be able to directly punch you in the face if you tell Twi that I don't love her again." To underline her point, Rainbow grabbed another book from the shelf, dangling it in Cadence's face.

She what!

“You can't attend Twilight's sessions. They-“

“Go ahead! Try and stop me! I-“

“What Dashie means is that it is this arrangement or no arrangement at all, including me attending another one of your sessions.” Twilight finished in a calmer tone.

They outplayed me!

Cadence was furious. Twilight leveraged the fact that she felt obligated to help her as the princess of love against her, forcing her to agree to a deal she didn’t feel comfortable with.

What eluded her was the reason why she did that.

Scratch that. I have known Twilight for years.

She must do this because of Rainbow. Maybe it was the best compromise she could come up with.

Maybe it's her way of getting help without outright throwing Rainbow under the bus.

Cadence contemplated the offer.

Now that I know what to look for, I could check for these things, meaning I would be able to verify their well-being.

But I can’t really help them improve!

Then again, maybe now that Rainbow and Twilight have each other as support, they might not need help after all. Love tends to aid in these kinds of things.

She would have to talk with Celestia later, as well as a few experts.

“Alright. We will do it your way.” Cadence agreed. What they all understood was that she would also immediately intervene if she had even the slightest suspicion that things went in the wrong direction.

An understanding they all could live with, even if it left an immense amount of pressure on Rainbow.

“I expect you both in my room tomorrow after breakfast.” Still trying to process the many mistakes she had made, the princess tried to leave.

“Wait! What have you done with Spike?” Twilight remembered that she had entrusted her with the dragon.

“I left him with the guard that brought him to me.” The room temperature increased dramatically.

"Bring him to our room.” Twilight hissed, angered that Cadence had just left him despite the trust she had placed in her.

You send him away with the guard in the first place! How are a few more minutes with him going to harm him?

But Cadence didn’t feel like starting another argument, leaving the library.

***

It could have gone worse.

Much much worse.

Rainbow turned around, giving Twilight another quick kiss. "I don't know why you insist on going to another one of her stupid "sessions".” She looked exasperated. Somehow Twilight had forced her into something she didn't want to do without forcing her at all. “I mean, I understand that you want to get help, but surely, I am better suited than her? Look at what she did to you last time.”

It's no use. Twi is definitely going to attend those sessions, which means I will have to as well so that I can set the record straight. I won’t allow that pony to slander me again!

Twilight gave her a weak smile. She felt a bit dirty about using Rainbow's concern against her, but at least it had allowed her to come up with the proposal of going to “therapy” together, an idea Rainbow didn't feel too strongly about, that she did, however, agree to. And even if Rainbow didn’t feel that way, knowing that another pony would at least keep an eye on them, being there to help them overcome their problems, eased Twilight's mind severely.

So, what now?

“Come, Dashie. Let’s go back to our room. I feel like I could fall over at any moment.” Twilight had wanted to sleep before, but after her confession, she had to put some distance between them.

Yes… our room.

“I am tired as well, Twi, but I don’t think I left our room… in an inhabitable state.” Embarrassment filled Rainbow.

“Is the bed still intact?” Twilight asked.

Rainbow shifted around. “Yes, but there is blood on the floor, and I smashed most of the other stuff."

That really was stupid of me, wasn't it?

Luckily Twilight wasn’t concerned.

She opened the door, addressing the guard and the librarian waiting in front of it. “We are done. Please continue to prepare the books I requested. I will look at them tomorrow. Rainbow and I are also in need of a new room. Please escort us to one and send Spike to it instead.”

“Of course, princess,” they both answered.

The librarian went back inside while the guard led the way to another available guest room.

On their way there, Twilight and Rainbow didn't talk. They did, however, envelop each other with their wing.

It earned them a few strange looks as well as whispering, but they couldn’t be bothered by it.

“I am going to send Spike here.” The guard confirmed once they had arrived.

“Thank you. And please make sure that our old room gets cleaned up.” Twilight responded, closing the door.

This is my life now.

A life with Twi.

That is, if I manage to control those stupid emotions.

If I don’t… they will look me up in some mental institution.

I will lose everything.

Twilight jumped on the bed, motioning for Rainbow to lie down next to her, not paying any mind to the second bed.

Stupid brain! I don’t want to deal with this right now!

Doing her best to shut down that line of thinking, Rainbow crawled next to Twilight.

“How come you are so comfortable in addressing those guards?” she asked, hoping it would take her mind off things.

"I grew up as nobility, with a princess as a foalsitter, and my brother enlisted in the guard. They have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember,” Twilight told her.

"You know, back in the Badlands, you told me I was strong for resisting their attempts to “brainwash” me. I am not. My parents, my brother, and Cadence… they never agreed with that. They are the only reason why I ignored what they taught us in school… if anything, I am weak for slipping into those lies, despite knowing better.

“I can only imagine the pony I would be if they hadn’t been there for me.” Twilight stared at the ceiling.

You are still so much stronger than I am.

“Twi… at least you listened to them. I was a really horrible pony, despite my parents always being there for me, encouraging me to change.”

Realizing that she had unintentionally poked into another wound, Twilight quickly changed the topic. “I wanted to tell you about what Cadence did to me, remember?”

That’s right! What could have possibly been going on between you and that wannabe love doctor?

A knock on the door indicated Spike's arrival. Using her magic, she opened the door, carefully levitating Spike towards her before closing it again, not acknowledging the guard that brought him. The young dragon had resorted to sleeping again. She placed him in between them.

Rainbow mommy!

I still can’t believe he called me that!

But it's true, isn't it? Now that Twilight and I are together…

“Long story short, if you had said no, I would have used my magic to force you into loving me.” Twilight had chosen the quick approach, not wanting to dance around the subject.

Who cares.

“Would have been a mistake anyway, Twi,” Rainbow dismissed her.

To her shock, Twilight disagreed profoundly. “No, Dashie! It would have been wrong! Luckily Cadence made me realize that.”

Yeah! Lucky us!

Look what that moron did to you!

“By doing what, Twi?” Rainbow simply responded.

The question made it hard for Twilight to defend Cadence's actions. “She told me I was a danger to you… she talked to me about how I was in the wrong… and then she conjured up the scene I told you about, where you were in a wedding dress.

“She forced me to live through a rejection, you choosing that… other pony over me."

I am so going to kill her.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore, ok?” Rainbow unfolded her wing and wiped away the few tears that had formed in Twilight's eyes. "Why think about something that will never happen."

“I love you, Dashie.” Twilight leaned forward and gave the wing a deep kiss.

"I love you too, Twi," Rainbow assured her.

“And nothing will ever change that.”

***

Finding the filly had been easy. As it turns out, the barn hadn't been a good hiding place.

They were now sitting on a train to Canterlot, always making sure to keep an eye on Applejack.

A sleeping spell may have been put on her, but one could never be too vigilant.

“I wonder why they haven’t given us a chariot?”

"They don't recognize talent. It's as simple as that."

At least they had been allowed to travel first class, with an entire compartment of their own.

"They will have to now, though.

“Any updates on the princess? I would like to know if we have to worry about leaving the country."

It may have been meant as a joke, yet they were aware that it was a real danger. A new government would probably be reluctant to excuse their doings, even if they had been done with the greater good in mind.

"The sun is up again, so I think we are fine. Other than that, I haven’t received any updates.”

It was expected, though. Since it didn't pertain to their assignment, there was no need to update them.

“Well, we will just have to ask around once we have returned. I am really curious about what could have possibly caused this.”

***

Buck! Buck! Buck!

Sneak was not having a good day. With the now unfortunately awake Fluttershy, he rushed to the train station.

Who knows what’s going on back in Canterlot!

Hopefully, the princess has returned to the capital, or there will be anarchy!

“This train is heading to Canterlot with top speed and no stops!” he screamed at the conductor, quickly flashing his badge and weapon before entering it, shoving Fluttershy into the first free compartment he could find.

The conductor followed him, annoyed. “I am afraid this train is headed to Las Pegasus, with stops and a normal speed,” he corrected him.

Who does he think he is!

"I am the director of the ESS! I will have you personally charged for high treason if this train doesn't start moving within 30 seconds! There is a government emergency, and I can't be stranded in the middle of nowhere during it!" Sneak felt like pulling his mane out. First, the princess disappeared, then the sun and now he was stranded, arguing with a moronic conductor.

"Look, we both know that the existence of the ESS is just some conspiracy theory. So, I suggest leaving this train and waiting two hours for the next one, which does, in fact, have Canterlot as its destination, before I call the guard.” Anger replaced the annoyance the conductor had previously felt. "Do you even have tickets? Also, how dare to treat your child like that, if that even is your child." He turned around. “You know what? I changed my mind. I will call them-“

Next time you won’t be that lucky.

The conductor was stopped when Sneak pulled out the weapon he had previously flashed with lightning speed, discharging it. Quickly before anypony could notice, he hid the now unconscious pony in the compartment.

"You wait here. I will talk with the-“

“How could you! You shoot him! You shoot an unarmed pony!" Fluttershy screamed loud enough for the other ponies on the train to hear.

Once again, Sneak raised his weapon. “Shut your mouth-“

“Put that thing down!" Before he knew what was happening, his stun gun lay on the ground.

What is going on!

“You should be ashamed of yourself! Have you even considered being kind to him? Asking nicely? You are supposed to protect ponies, not hurt them! You will wait right here for the guard to show up so that you can face the consequences of your actions!” By now, other passengers had rushed over, a few of them trying to provide aid.

She is using some form of mind control on me!

Why aren’t my enchantments working!

It was right then that Sneak regretted sending Twister to Canterlot to oversee other tasks. She would have been more than able to put that pegasus in her place.

Probably.

In the distance, he could hear the sound of guards rushing over, passengers quickly barraging them with what they thought had happened.

“You will tell them what you did!” Fluttershy made one last command.

And you will pay for this!

The guards quickly restrained him, taking him, Fluttershy and the unconscious conductor away.

***

They had arrived at the castle with no issues.

Not only that but seeing the small filly genuinely looking up to them felt nice. It was a huge change from what ponies usually felt when encountering them or, rather, what they felt after being in their presence for more than five minutes.

A change they could get used to.

“You are really going to take me into the castle?” Rarity asked.

"Of course. That's what we promised, isn't it?" Flash and Orion flashed smiles at her. Real smiles. Not the fake ones they usually had to use.

This is really happening!

I am in Canterlot!

I am going to… see the princess?

“And you are sure that the princess is alright?” The concern she had felt previously when the sun had disappeared returned.

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Flash and Orion assured her once again. This time, however, their smiles had returned to being fake.

A Solar Guard rushed towards them. “We will take it from here." He kneeled down in front of Rarity. "The princess is still busy, so I will take you to a guestroom. She will see you soon, though. I promise.”

I am going to see the castle from the inside!

Forgetting her manners for a moment, she happily hopped after the guard.

Flash and Orion looked after her, realizing they were going to miss her.

Maybe they should have chosen the EBI instead.

As agents of the ESS, an uplifting task like this would probably not show up again for quite some time.

***

I mean, I am happy for her, but Rainbow Dash?

Of all ponies, she just had to choose the one pony that didn't like me.

Don’t even get me started on the manners that this pegasus exhibits….

She could easily get a better pony!

Once the information had spread that she was, in fact, fine, it was easy to get things in order again.

She had briefed her government about how to handle the situation and publicly addressed her subjects. She had also been informed that most military officials were on their way to Canterlot, ready to be arrested.

Now she was going around, said City, interacting with her subjects, doing her best to quash any remaining doubt.

I will have to address parliament as soon as possible so that they can formally proclaim her a princess.

But the thought of Rainbow Dash didn’t leave her.

No matter how hard she tried.

Who am I to tell Twilight who she can and cannot love?

Love is a beautiful thing. Nopony can control it.

Well, I guess Cadence and I could.

This wasn’t working out. Earlier than she had planned, she excused herself, making her way back towards the castle.

I barely know her.

I should give Rainbow a second chance, for Twilight's sake.

If Twilight has that much faith in her, then surely, she will be able to quickly dispel my doubts.

***

The guard showed Rarity her room, unlocking the door before leaving again.

Rarity walked in.

Everything looks so impressive!

So expensive!

So stunning!

The sound of snoring forced her to stop her admiration.

Is somepony already in here?

Against her better judgment, Rarity approached the bed, seeing two fillies in it.

Only their faces were visible, yet she was sure she had them before.

I saw them… in the newspaper!

“Help!” she screamed, resulting in Twilight and Rainbow darting out of bed.

Alicorn!

Rarity ran.

But before she could leave the room, she was already thrown on the ground by Rainbow.

“What are you doing in here!” Rainbow held her in place.

They are going to kill me!

Trying to defend herself, Rarity lit her horn light up.

But it didn't escape Twilight's notice. Ready to protect Rainbow, she shot a spell right into Rarity's eyes.

“Ahh!” it blinded her, robbing her of the concentration she needed to come up with her own spells.

That's it. I am done for.

Murdered by two wanted low-life criminals right here in the place I always wanted to visit.

And I didn’t even get to see the princess.

The door slammed open. Three guards rushed inside.

I am saved!

If Rarity had been able to see anything, she would have noticed the guard escorting her looked like he had just been informed about the biggest mistake of his life.

The other two didn’t have any reservations, immediately starting to restrain Rarity, allowing Rainbow to let go.

“What are you doing! Those are Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash! They are the criminals,” she protested. Slowly Rarity’s eyes recovered.

“You will not slander the princess, or we will add it to the charges!” Just like that, the cuffs were tightened severely, letting Rarity feel a world of pain. “We will handle it, princess,” they assured Twilight.

Princess.

Alicorn.

What have I done!

She couldn't fathom how it had happened, but all signs pointed towards the pony she had thought was a criminal being a princess instead.

“Your majesty…” the guard that had let her into the room stepped forward. “I made a mistake. I have been briefed to escort her into this room. I am sorry.”

Twilight and Rainbow relaxed. It had all been a misunderstanding.

"It's alright. Just be more careful next time,” Twilight told him.

How could I have been so foolish! I should have just left to ask the guard if he had made a mistake!

The guards removed the cuffs they had placed on her, with Rainbow walking back into bed, snuggling against Twilight and a Spike who once again had elected to sleep through the whole ordeal.

Why are they sleeping together? There is an empty bed right over there?

The other ponies ignored the scene, quickly making sure they hadn't forgotten anything.

Then to Rarity's astonishment, Equestrias newest princess leaned over, giving the pegasus that had attacked her a kiss.

Oh…

Oh my…

Quickly Rarity was ushered out of the room.

***

Twilight couldn’t sleep.

Her body longed for it, yet her mind wouldn’t allow it.

I know her.

She was part of my vision.

“Everything all right, Twi?” Rainbow asked, alerted by Twilight's tossing and turning.

“Her name was… Seldomly?”

No… that doesn’t sound right.

“Rarity! Her name was Rarity!” Twilight exclaimed.

Rainbow put two and two together. “Was she part of your vision?”

“Yes! And she is a bearer!” Twilight confirmed.

That must be why she is here.

"Then we will more than likely see her again soon." Suddenly Rainbow felt bad for attacking her.

“…”

“Twi?” Heavy breathing made her aware that there was more to come.

I don't want to hurt Dashie.

But she is fair game.

And I am certainly going to hurt her!

“She made your wedding dress! She owned the boutique!” Suddenly Twilight didn’t feel tired anymore.

Dashie doesn't care about her yet! It's not too late!

But I have to act now.

“Is she the one?” Using her wings to caress Twilight, Rainbow tried to get her to calm down.

It didn’t work this time.

Twilight jumped out of bed, ready for blood.

I am not going to lose this.

I can't lose this.

“Not Rarity,” Twilight hissed.

I will have to talk with Princess Celestia.

I should be more than able to push her into a solution that will benefit me.

Red eyes turned towards Rainbow.

“Applejack.”

Comments

[2tail]

Rarity, Shy, and Applejack are having much different times.
Rarity is being beloved. Shy is mind-bucking bad ponies. AJ is hog tied. :)
celestia is thinking she has been wrong about stuff, and will be very upset when she learns of Rainbow's mom and dad.

[Vampire king Jonathan]

Celestia is a manipulative cunt in this story

[silent_user]

11605880
Hi, happy to see you here again . I was a bit worried when I saw you had stopped commenting all of a sudden .

[Leviathan Eclipse]

Pleading, and once again, scarred eyes gazed at her. Only this time, the reason why they were scarred was different.

Scared*

[Leviathan Eclipse]

I am going to have to separate them, don’t I?

"Aren't I"*