When Rainbow Dash starts screwing around on Hearths Warming, Starlight Glimmer accidentally casts a spell that makes her far more serious and profound. While things seem okay at first, the situation with Rainbow's new personality quickly devolves into a huge mess, one that Starlight and her friends will have to fix if they ever hope to see their favorite brash pegasus again.
The art for this story was provided by the user kleia. Be sure to check them out if you like their work.
Written for Penguifyer for Jinglemas 2022
12/27/22: Yes, finally, a story I wrote was featured on the homepage.
Chapters (1)
Very good story, I really enjoyed the dramatic parts as it was very well written.
This section bothers me. Starlight intentionally alters rainbow without her consent. This portion is portrayed as the right thing to do. I feel that this is morally problematic.
Serious Dash clearly has reservations about being altered.
One could make the argument that since the change is reverting another one the alteration is justified. However, Starlight still violently alters Dash's mind.
I feel that imposing violence directly on one's mind neccesitates greater justification than Starlight has..
The culminating issue is that the story portrays this action as morally correct. Because of this, I feel uncomftorable with this narrative.
This was fun. The premise is wack but it actually pulled together to mean something at the end. When I make these prompts, I generally have an idea of how I would write the stories. But to be honest, I’m also really curious what other people come up with since they’re not simple prompts.
This was far more than I was hoping for and I almost feel like I don't deserve it. You did good and I’m thankful for it.
11461696
Thanks, it took me most of my allotted time to write this out, so I'm really glad to hear you enjoyed it.
11461679
That's not how I was trying to portray that scene, the way I had intended it to be interpreted was as Starlight fixing her mistake and setting things right. The reason Rainbow was against it, was because she thought her friends were betraying her after she had changed herself for them. So she tries to stop them, but then the others get to explaining that wasn't the case. Rainbow thought that her changing was what they wanted, which was why she felt so hurt when they began trying to make her go back. But when they tell her that they miss the old rainbow, and how they hadn't wanted her to go away, it started changing her outlook on the situation.
You said that Rainbow didn't give her consent to being charged back, but in my headcanon, that isn't true. When the others begin saying how they want the old Rainbow back, and how they miss her. She begins to realize how much they loved her, and how they appreciated her. she begins to see it less like them betraying her, and more how they were just trying to help. That scene where they embrace, that was where Rainbow gave her consent to being changed back.
That's how I viewed it at least.
11461716
I can see what you are going for now. It makes sense. And your headcannon is basically the story.
I guess I was hopeing that the consent and acceptance would be carried out with more explicit communication between the characters. Since that interaction is (what I assume to be) the climax of the story's conflict.
It just feels wrong. If I were to try and rationalize it, I would likely say something about undue escalation of violence. But really it just feels off. I'm not totally sure why, but as the story is written: Starlight's second (third?) wish feels horrid.
When I read that section, my brain raised alarm bells rather than the relief that I assume you intended.
I would also like to say. I don't dislike the story. I enjoyed the rising tension part! And the apology at the end is good.
It also looks like that part didn't bother other readers, so I might be reading more deeply than I should. Perhaps I should lay off the horror genre for a bit
.
Anyways, thank you for sharing this wonderful story with everyone!
I hope to read more from you in the future Endless!
11461748
I'm glad you found it enjoyable, despite any misgivings you may have had with it.
Okay since someone else was already brutally honest here.
I liked it, but I'm not sure how being serious necessary leads to spouting rhymes.
The whole Rainbow feels the need to take over is a good concept, but I wish we had gotten the reasoning behind it. Is she turning into a perfectionist?
Is it just the magic, or is she worried about her friends hurting themselves somehow? That sort of thing. I feel like there's some interesting ideas here, but I'm not entirely sure where they were meant to be going.
Nice little vinaigrette all around though. A enjoyable diversion while battling the never ending summit of insomnia. Thanks for writing!
11594223
You're welcome, I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I'm sorry if some parts seemed confusing to you.
11594238
It was less confusing and more disjointed honestly.
But I did honestly enjoy it, so thanks for writing!
nice story!