Don't mind me, just a dreamer.
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When a group of people unearth an ancient facility, they discover a shocking secret that will forever alter their view of the universe.
This story is a submission for the 2023 Science Fiction Contest II
The cover art for this story was provided by Uz Naimat
03/31/23: - 04/01/23: Featured.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Question, how is the robot and the hologram speaking English?
What? But that's a word we came up with ourselves, how the fuck did we come up with the exact same English word for our species.
I audibly screamed in anger. I'm sorry but God fucking damnit.
I'd love to see more of this, like what became of the ponies star empire, what they might do if they discover twilights project succeeded...things like that. This has great potential
I enjoyed it but it has lots of issues.
Supposed to be very old facility but somehow everyone happens to speak the same language. Could have been fixed with mention of a *magic translation matrix* as it was supposed to be a high end research facility anyway.
Also despite the language being exactly the same they happen to use a different date system.
Twilight obsessively creates a whole new species because she really wants them to have the chance to exist but doesn't give any explanation of why they in particular needed to exist.
They couldn't find intelligent life elsewhere but unlike earth equestria had dozens of different sapient species so it's really hard to claim they were just lonely.
Twilight removed her memories....Whyyyy? She could have stored them with the message or just locked them until she got the message and then remembered everything. Due to the removal it still feels like the original twilight is dead and this inferior copy has been told to explore in her place as the original would have loved to have gotten to see her children grown up but as it is they seem more someone else's project she's been put in charge of.
This is a massive interplanetary community, there is even discussion of going to another planet for vacation and yet no attempt at communication? Especially since having more sapients was pretty much the whole point of the project establishing contact would have been a high priority. Surely there's still someone out there.
WOAH! JUST WOAHHHH!!!
Now, this is another gem that deserves to be recognized! This is the first time I've seen an MLP fanfic where the ponies created humans instead of the other way around. I am also surprised that you used the Adam and Eve from the Christian Holy Bible, as I wasn't really expecting that, to be honest. It's an interesting take on them, the "Garden of Eden", and the beginning of the Book of Genesis (I say this as a Christian myself).
Besides the issues Swarm Chaser commented on, I hope that you plan on making a sequel (or sequels) to this story, because I am interested in the reactions of many people across Earth and in the creation of new technologies that will hopefully lead to humans meeting the ponies again (if they are still around. If not, at least dig up the remains of the home world of the colorful equines).
11543908
Well, in my defense, I did say in the author's note that I was running out of time when making this, so I probably ended up overlooking some things as I wrote this. Maybe I'll go back in at some point and try to fix some of these details.
11543975
I wasn't really planning to do a sequel, but I suppose I could give it a shot if I find a way to expand upon it. Maybe I could also use it as a way to address some of the problems people are having with this one.
Good read, however:
this is a bit spicy, even if unintended. As this was a common idea that Europeans had towards African achievements. Known as the Ancient Aliens conspiracy theory.
Overall, it works with the uplifting concept.
*edit*
The downvotes? Bruh, I'm a historian. Ancient Alien concept is rooted in European Superiority towards African Cultures because they couldn't accept African Cultures had such wonderful capabilites. Learn your god damn history
Pretty good.
Fantàstic
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11544398
I'm glad you liked the story.
11543908
You do realize that the first two humans that she created the Adam and Eve were able to speak English because she taught them that means that the whole Tower of Babel thing must have happened in this world since before the Tower of Babel humans spoke one language (presumably English) in this case just like in the Bible (assumedly) after that incident humans spoke many languages and split up into groups of people that speak the same language. Now while I think the Tower of Babel is more allegory than literal the whole splitting up into multiple languages thing probably did happen at one point or maybe other humans were taught other languages.
Twilight removing her memories of the facility to allow her to be a more innocent version of herself actually makes sense although I hope that this version gains either hologram wings after fully realizing everything or that she's able to fly iron Man style by a thrusters cuz I mean come on she still should have the ability to fly.
The interplanetary community thing I'm understandably confused about but considering it's around 100,000 Earth years from when Adam and Eve were created as that's how long the homo sapiens have existed in modern form via science looking into it that means that it's probable that Earth was forgotten about since it's a really long time even in galactic years.
11544128
People really ought to learn history.
Ancient Alien concept is rooted in European Superiority towards African Cultures because they couldn't accept African Cultures had such wonderful capabilities.
And you seem to have accidentality fallen into it's tropes.
11544484
I wasn't trying to dismiss the ingenuity of early African cultures. I researched a bit on the indigenous people that lived in the area at the time, and from what I read they didn't have the capability to create something like what I described. I said that they find a metal bunker, only it dates back to times when it should have been impossible for anyone to make such a structure, was I wrong to believe this; have there been cultures in the ancient past that made buildings entirely with metal?
11544476
I got that, If you assume one language and no language drift is the norm (like presumably prior to the tower incident) that would make sense but that seems even more of a reach as even within english there is large variance in accent and terminology between geographic areas.
Even just allowing for slang and accents there would be a huge difference in how it was spoken after ~2000 years.
Sort of, not any reason to make that permanent though, even in the story it mentioned that the only reason it was done was so she didn't spill the beans too soon which could have been done just as well with a temporary keyed lock out or if she was worried she'd bypass it have them stored on the console with the last message so they could be restored at the right time.
As for flying, they have cheap interplanetary transportation so she can probably fly just fine without wings via antigrav or levitation as is, adding wings would probably also be trivial.
It's a good possibility but the timeline isn't really clear from the story, regardless of the timeline the facility is still in good condition and should have interplanetary communications if not also transportation.
When she saw that last blinking light I was sure it was going to be a radio communication or trigger for one.
They may have moved on, fallen, etc but that's no excuse to not even attempt contact, if anything it's all the more reason to try.
11544737
When I wrote that scene, I felt that it actually did give her memories back, but, maybe I didn't convey that too well. I'd go in and fix it, but I think it actually might be against the rules for the competition, I'd have to check.
Maybe I'll expand upon that in a potential sequel.
11544502
I noticed it wasn't your intent. More just a bit of a oof moment, though clearly nobody anywhere had that capability in the pre-homosapien.
Just working in history/archeology it's a major area where we have to deal with wackjobs pushing that narrative.
And I did note, you only accidentally/lightly touched on that trope. And my OG comment also stated it works in your setup of this being a "Uplift" project, with references to Genisis. My comments about people needing to learn their history are the downvoters rather than yourself Endless.
11544737
When I mentioned flying by a hologram wings the whole anti-grav flight is what I meant. (If she has any form of magic she can probably just replicate what starlight did and self-levitate considering she's probably gathered a ton of power over the whatever time it took in between her transfer and reawakening) Twilight probably can just flip them out or something like that and she didn't realize. Twilight most likely made her to look like she would right after her Ascension basically with only the barest changes of height in a little bit of horn length from when she was a normal unicorn.
It was good at first, but then it took a weird turn and now i dont know how to feel about this.
Cool concept, odd execution, not necessarily bad.
Does have a lot of continuity/logical "problems" if you could call them that.
11546125
Where did you think it went weird?
11546175
Around the whole "twilight is the mother of the christian interpretation of the first of humanity, where christian god is an allegory for ponykind, more specifically twilight"
Also the humans were way too comfortable with this, taking into consideration their whole worldview was shattered. Seriously not even an hour passed and they are suddenly okay with ancient horses having created humanity, invalidating all they know about themselves as a species and civilization.
11546184
That's not what I intended to allude to. The only reason I named those first two humans what I did was because I thought it was sort of fitting, as Adam and Eve were supposed to be the first humans according to Christianity, that's literally the only reason I did it.
Regardless of whether you thought it was weird or not, did you at least find it enjoyable?
11546190
It was enjoyable, if a bit odd, even if it wasnt your intention. Also as many others have pointed out, there are a lot of problems with human history that arise when saying ponies created humanity, which took my mind out of the story because i was too busy thinking of how many things didnt make sense.
Even if these things have been explained by you, it kinda beats the purpose of worlbuilding when you have to spell it out for people.
(Btw, more of a personal thought rather than criticism, but twilight being overly motherly with what could be considered 'talking alien monkeys' was very weird and, in my opinion, out of character)
Overall, good story but it does have its "quirks"
11546210
Well, this fanfic takes place in an alternate universe, so we don't necessarily have to overlap it with our real-world history.
11546231
No cap, thats my favorite response in these kinds of situations because thats what the alternate universe tag is for. Alright ill get out of your hair now
The more i read the more i wanted to get all of the info i could gather, this was absolutely amazing and beautiful... our very dear Princess Twilight Sparkle creating the life of Humankind and preserving her own mind by putting it into a robot just made for her to continue her life to explore what Humankind has accomplished, and even treating the first of us like her own children, just like a mare would with her foals...dear sweet celestia this is just sweet!
11547953
Thank you for your wonderful comment, I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
11548236
i did more than just enjoy it, i literally love it as deep as my heart and soul are within myself, and that doesnt happen often
love that six-pointed star
ooh, a bit too quick to dismiss that, especially given the track record of statements like this being proven wrong!
now that is a better explanation for why the locals couldn’t have built it
can’t believe Daniel doesn’t recognize the cutie marks of the Mane Six smh
yeah i mean i would gawk too if i were them! very understandable reaction
interesting eye for detail, that Maggie!
aww, really feel for Twi-lite here!
dang they sound really fucked up
i gotta say, this sentence would be a lot for a random human adult to take in
yeah, i would not expect him to really understand that from context!
ooh, love this as an explanation for why pony cultures are so similar to human cultures
so true and honestly makes me love Twilight even more
aww that is so cute! love it
it is a cool idea, and a cute story. thank you for writing!
11595633
You're welcome, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I bet that Twi-lite will wind up in a lab somewhere, so we can study her construction and capabilities. How much memory capacity does she have ? I would put a priority on trying to see if we could contact the Pony Star Empire. Just think of the possibilities.