We Always Be Wondercolts Forever. (Big Fluttershy, Rainbow, Sunset and Luna fan).
In the short span of one night out, Grogar and his army return from the underworld, and Twilight Sparkle gets more drunk than anypony in history. Her friends need a plan, and fast. Then Rainbow Dash has an idea. This can only end well.
Entry for the Ancestral Tribute Contest
Somehow managed to be featured second and then first on 14/10/22!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Read the title. Oh my freakin', the ever lovin' did Grogar EVER do to deserve Twilight Velvet?????!!!!!!!!
Read the story. Twi-fi's friends DESERVE this Twilight Velvet
I am FAR to used to the Twilight Velvet from other stories where beings end up WISHING they had ended up with Tw-fi and her friends instead of mamma-light
Loved the story
11393883
Thanks! Glad to hear that you enjoyed it so much!
Poor Fluttershy and Pinkie, relegated to Background Status according to the tags :P
Regardless, just wanted to leave a comment to say this was a fun romp; nonsensical with the best of em, but a good time nonetheless! And, seeing Velvet representation that isn't just to have a... let's just say, mom character, as it were, is incredibly refreshing!
Good work! My only complaint is that who is saying what got a bit obtuse (as in dialogue per character and flow basis), but this assumedly wasn't meant to be taken 100% seriously, so it's expected, heh. For what it is, I had a good time!
11394278
Alas, I could only tag five characters, lol.
Thanks so much though! Glad to hear that you enjoyed it!
This was really cool and fun, great story.
11394514
Thank you!!!
I knew she was a thrill seeker like Rainbow Dash ever since her trip with her family
Still a very good story if I do say so myself. Seeing those very cool characters being reasonably awesome during those adventures are always a joy to watch.
Also, I always find parents’ lives without children very interesting, thank you for showing us this story of your brilliant mind!
Keep up the good work! Hope to see more from you!
11394724
Thank you! I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it! I really appreciate the nice comments!
HA! Nice.
My man. Good stuff, no wonder twilight keeps her mother in the dark.
11395399
I was hoping someone would catch that, lol. Glad you enjoyed!
11395418
Actually I also saw that reference, but in addition to that I also remembered a scene in Regular Show that also uses a grappling hook to save the day.(It can break a person’s fall and even pull them up?)
Seeing her use it was really fun.
Makes you wonder if they are indeed that powerful.
Also, how does she use a grappling hook as a pony? If I recall correctly that grappling hook in those TV shows looks like a gun.
However I have actually seen a grappling hook with a much simpler design(don’t know how it works). It looks like it only has one big handle, one rope and one sharp arrow. Maybe she used that one.
11395632
Ponies can use plenty of things in the show with hooves, even when it makes no logical sense. So I just run with it.
...??? I have so many questions here. Better than Fluttershy at least.
11396091
Well she does have a kid in the future of Last Problem, lol. Was mainly a nod towards that development.
"Whatever you say, Starlight Glimmer," Rarity droned, one eyebrow raised.
"Okay, in my defense, I haven't caused a comparable situation in..." Starlight hesitated and looked back out the window. Her lips moved silently as she calculated. "I haven't personally caused a comparable situation in moons."
"You know, we are kind of in charge of the country," said Pinkie. "We should probably do something about that."
"It's on my to-do list." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Right after I get the Wonderbolts to stop giving new recruits swirlies."
Rarity shook her head. "It's amazing the country wasn't conquered before we were born, really."
You really could stand to put in some more dialogue attribution. I can mostly tell who's saying what through context clues, but there are times when it takes a few paragraphs and a fair amount of guesswork.
Ah yes, the two words that foretell all manner of chipper madness.
She can auto-levitate. While lifting her son and granddaughter at the same time!
Rarity wrinkled her muzzle. "Dare I ask where they'd get the eggs?"
"Do you remember that one thing with the beak and tentacles—?"
"Forget I asked."
"Citation needed," Velvet said in her best Mom Voice.
"Don't you start with me, lady."
In all, this is fun, but that attribution problem worsens into full-on talking heads at times. The whole thing feels more like a transcript of a radio drama than a coherent story. These kinds of wacky hijinks have problems holding together when they get this long without something else to ground them. Velvet's revelation at the end helped, but this still felt very imbalanced and over-the-top. Fun, yes, but it needed more actual action in the sense of ponies doing things and less standing around shouting about the things that are happening.
Still, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.
11396563
Thanks for the feedback! I'll make sure to take it on board.
Man, I thought of what would happen if Velvet meet Rainbow before. Seems kinda like huge a missed opportunity for the show. Oh well.
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
🤣
Typo in M a i l :)
At home. In my closet?!