There once was a pony from Trottingham
Who caught Chlamydia while cheating on her husband
She met a right wanker
A pegasus banker
for a tryst in the woods near a rotting dam
“Battle Not With Pointy-Haired Bosses, Lest Ye Become a Pointy-Haired Boss.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche, on Scott Adams’ Far-Right Political Views
There once was a Dilbert comic
That Rarity's dad cut out and taped to the refrigerator
She saw it Hearth's Warming Eve
shortly before they set out to leave
for this years pageant, wherein Posey was played by Trixie the peripatetic prestidigitator.
Today's Word of the Day is "Narratological Metalipsis"
You're implying people who write my little pony fanfiction are normies Starlight replied
As the hope and light in Twilight's eyes died
She [Twilight Sparkle] sighed and she cried
and contemplated suicide
But then remembered she didn't exist in the first place, so offing herself would be a considerable challenge, and any hope that the author was going to off himself was misplaced, for I'm terrified of death and enjoy being alive so have no plans to eat pods of Tide.
There once was a pony named Hitch
Who like all cops would cry like a bitch
when faced with a school shooter situation
"Too soon!" shouted Craig McCracken, Lauren Faust's husband, best known for creating Mucho Lucho Evil Con Carne Kid Cosmic which is a love letter to sixties garage rock, 50s sci-fi, and the American Southwest.
More Deconstruction
Hey, that's not a limerick! Twi said
As she cuddled with me in bed.
That's right mutherfawkers
You all are in luck, for
This now is a crossover with
, another shitty story of mine I hope you have read!
Now Starlight took Trixie to Target
Fuck nothing rhymes with Target
Argot? Jargot? wait thats Jargon, similar to Argot.
Look there's an anglerfish Squishmallow I saw while wandering around Target for two hours high on meth a few weeks ago named Deezo, and I've been looking for an excuse to have Trixie say "Deezo Nuts" randomly like I do now, but that's hard to do in Limrick form.
I guess Carpet is kind of a slant rhyme, and by extension Tar pit. Something Starlight often wants to throw Trixie into.
Also I appreciate that the male angler fish Squishmallow I saw was a smaller size. horray for accurate sexual dimorphism in round cuddly stuffed animals universally adored by young children and queer people with trauma.
Wow this is quite the progressive post-bop abstract free verse limrick innit?
Deezo Nuts
I Asked My Mom to Randomly Choose Ten Words As Prompts Like The Everfree Northwest Iron Authors Contest Except Without Somewhat Pissing Xepher Off By Entering a Shitpost Entry. Alright lets see them words:
Carrot Mom
Bathroom Tustin
Dog Pizza
Water
Sandwich
Taco
rainbow
Rainbow Dash kicked AJ's dog
After drowning Big Mac in a bog
In the bathroom she chopped up
Like carrots AJ's pup
Soon those parts too will be water logged.
What the actual fuck >_>
There once was a cute Angel Bunny
Who found it uproariously funny
To commit war crimes
In all seven times
That he was a mercenary in Africa with Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, that is to say, he exchanged violence for money.
There once was a pony named Rarity do something something charity Earth bunny is something something disparity that's a lie I said her friend at the Jack super trampoline why the attack? Something something just shitty poems so there's no need for me to retract back whack Big Mac sack
There once was a pony named Izzy
Who made all the Beatles quite dizzy
By sucking their... [hold on let me check the story rating. ... hmmm no sex tag. Welp, they say restrictions breed creativity. Lez do dis!] toes
While under their nose–
s SHE HELD CHLOROFORM SODA WHILE FIZZY
HELP NOW I AM STUCK IN CAPS LOCK
HELP NO I DO NOT WANT SOME HORSE
fuck, sorry about that. Where were we?
@#$%^&*#*:?@(]×)!]×#?7[2,77●¡♡○♧~¥¤》●¡¡■■■●■■●■■●■○◇~°¥♧♧♧◇¥◇◇♡♡♡□{1◇•¡♤£°₩;ĥ
There once was a sad background pony
Who made others memories baloney
She met Holden Caulfield
Who also liked ducks
And equally hated all phonies.
More Deconstruction
Luna decided one winter
To prank her deaf sis with a splinter
She took a wood chip
Made a shiv, and told Pip
"Oi m8, stab my sister and dent her."
More Deconstruction
Sweetie Belle, Sweetie Bird, Emotion
Caroline, Jesus, Compton Commotion
"Twilight, I don't understand, what does this list mean? Sweetie Bird, is that a pony you know? Why is my sister in there? Oh god what are you woah woah woah watch where you point that
A muffled cross between a bang and a spletch squelch sound sounded from deep within the friendship castle of friendship. Spike continued to writhe, thoroughly bound and gagged and chained to a radiator in the basement, the electrodes hooked to a broken timer. Twilight spent the next several hours idly singing the cleanup blood song.
Only half of these content warnings actually occur. The other half are implied.
Who is Throbbing Gristle?
11643854
Whatever happened to death of the author my Dude
For mentioning Holden Caulfield, you get an upvote.
thank you for the entry ST!
You lie! Only 35 of these suck.
I have no idea what is going on but I do enjoy chaos.
I imagine Twilight is cleaning up Sweetie Belle after she accidentally shot her in the face whilst talking to some other pony.
This shit needs a Pinkie smile
Who the f*ck is Holden Caufield?
for putting in Tustin. Yay! OC Rules!
11643855
11643878
Stay gold ponyboi
11643885
It was a happy coincidence cause it took a year to write lol.
11643964
Holden Caulfield is the snarky restless protagonist of JD Salinger's iconic 1940s coming of age novel "Catcher in the Rye"
Fellow Tustinite?!
Here, have a bonus shitty pony limerick I wrote back in whenever G5 and Wordle were still hip but always wanted to subject more people to.
A stallion named Alphabittle
Knew the alphabet trick helped a little
He spelled Haven's name
She turned green as she came
'Twas the right answer to today's clittle
11643989
Am I dreaming or forgetting cuz I haven’t read the book for a year? Or are you actually making a reference, hmm. Cuz your comment seems way too close to be accidental to referencing Outsiders which both has the Robert Frost poem “Stay Gold” and a character called Ponyboy. Haven’t read that book in ages. Or maybe I’m over-analyzing everything, as I tend to do. For fun, sometimes. Oh well. Derp.
11643993
woah. I thought you just sat down and randomly wrote stuff until you hit 1000 words. I think I'm going to need to do some research
There once was a pony named Hitch
Who like all cops would cry like a b8ch
when faced with a school shooter situation
he decided to take a vacation
and the funeral parlor got rich
11644000
Never read "Catcher in the rye". I'm not a murderer...
Actually, I live in Anaheim, thus my knowledge about Tustin near Orange and Santa Ana. Been through Tustin many times...
11644320
Aaaayyyyyee you ever go to any of the Orange County brony park potlucks back in the day?
11644899
Never heard of those. I only became a fan just a few years back.
I read just because you mentioned Throbbing Gristle. I don’t know what I expected.
20 Jazz-Funk Greats
reference or am I crazythe stress is so off on this one, boooooo
ok i do like this one, go big or go home
but it’s intentionally so, so it is art!
aww! i say you should create what you feel like ST, there are plenty of other authors out there who can write all the Displaced crossovers one could want to read, but only one of you
well that’s good… at least? i am glad you are alive, my mare
the fucked up thing is that i don’t even know which of the many recent ones this is “too soon” for, really makes you think about American Society
hey you’re not the only author around here doing that! i mean, i am personally here for the things that are only possible with ponies but y’all do y’all
oh that is pog af! go cuddle that Twilight, i wish you both all the best in the world! :)
well at least you got it out somehow
based off of this being the only thing i know about your mom, she kinda owns? is she single?
hey, that’s not in-character!
this, par contre, very much is
you know there should be something clever done with the phony/pony near-homonym at some point
no, not my wife! :(
well i didn’t like the last bit, but i am honored that you made an entry into this contest. thank you, buddy!
Yes my mom is single. Please, you have my permission to hit on her. She desperately needs to move on and date again. It's been over 10 years since she kicked my
husbandDad out for cheating on her with his 10 years younger than him secretary. He's now married to that woman. Honestly they're a better fit for each other.11697972
Lol I'm glad you enjoyed!
Huh. I didn’t know Craig McCracken was behind Mucha Lucha.
In any case, this certainly is experimental. I’m not sure whether I should dock points for not fully committing to the bit or if I should appreciate your signature narrative meltdown as the ponies struggle against the hellish nightmare of existence that is inhabiting one of your stories.
Regardless, this was quite the trip. Thank you for it.
11698562
Glad you enjoyed! Present me didn't know he was involved with Mucha Lucha either, so apparently past me's long term memory decided it wasn't particularly important information lol.
11690984
Indeed, it is a reference to the title bait and switch