There once was a pony from Trottingham
Who caught Chlamydia while cheating on her husband
She met a right wanker
A pegasus banker
for a tryst in the woods near a rotting dam
“Battle Not With Pointy-Haired Bosses, Lest Ye Become a Pointy-Haired Boss.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche, on Scott Adams’ Far-Right Political Views
There once was a Dilbert comic
That Rarity's dad cut out and taped to the refrigerator
She saw it Hearth's Warming Eve
shortly before they set out to leave
for this years pageant, wherein Posey was played by Trixie the peripatetic prestidigitator.
Today's Word of the Day is "Narratological Metalipsis"
Sweaty pillow and swift-beating heart.
For once yet again
it seems she was trapped in
A piece of dogshit Super Trampoline art
#$^%@#%$ the printed page bleeped
Third best pony just sighed
and sat there as Twilight cried
"Why does Super Trampoline keep doing this; why can't he just write yet another Anon-y-miss deconstruction or Displaced crossover or Godsforbid even a fucking Beanis story like a normal person???
You're implying people who write my little pony fanfiction are normies Starlight replied
As the hope and light in Twilight's eyes died
She [Twilight Sparkle] sighed and she cried
and contemplated suicide
But then remembered she didn't exist in the first place, so offing herself would be a considerable challenge, and any hope that the author was going to off himself was misplaced, for I'm terrified of death and enjoy being alive so have no plans to eat pods of Tide.
There once was a pony named Hitch
Who like all cops would cry like a bitch
when faced with a school shooter situation
"Too soon!" shouted Craig McCracken, Lauren Faust's husband, best known for creating Mucho Lucho Evil Con Carne Kid Cosmic which is a love letter to sixties garage rock, 50s sci-fi, and the American Southwest.
More Deconstruction
Must we start all these limricks one way?
Instead of "There Once"
Always being the dunce,
How about that your mother is gay?
Hey, that's not a limerick! Twi said
As she cuddled with me in bed.
That's right mutherfawkers
You all are in luck, for
This now is a crossover with
, another shitty story of mine I hope you have read!
Now Starlight took Trixie to Target
Fuck nothing rhymes with Target
Argot? Jargot? wait thats Jargon, similar to Argot.
Look there's an anglerfish Squishmallow I saw while wandering around Target for two hours high on meth a few weeks ago named Deezo, and I've been looking for an excuse to have Trixie say "Deezo Nuts" randomly like I do now, but that's hard to do in Limrick form.
I guess Carpet is kind of a slant rhyme, and by extension Tar pit. Something Starlight often wants to throw Trixie into.
Also I appreciate that the male angler fish Squishmallow I saw was a smaller size. horray for accurate sexual dimorphism in round cuddly stuffed animals universally adored by young children and queer people with trauma.
Wow this is quite the progressive post-bop abstract free verse limrick innit?
Deezo Nuts
I Asked My Mom to Randomly Choose Ten Words As Prompts Like The Everfree Northwest Iron Authors Contest Except Without Somewhat Pissing Xepher Off By Entering a Shitpost Entry. Alright lets see them words:
Carrot Mom
Bathroom Tustin
Dog Pizza
Water
Sandwich
Taco
rainbow
Rainbow Dash kicked AJ's dog
After drowning Big Mac in a bog
In the bathroom she chopped up
Like carrots AJ's pup
Soon those parts too will be water logged.
What the actual fuck >_>
There once was a cute Angel Bunny
Who found it uproariously funny
To commit war crimes
In all seven times
That he was a mercenary in Africa with Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, that is to say, he exchanged violence for money.
There once was a pony named Rarity do something something charity Earth bunny is something something disparity that's a lie I said her friend at the Jack super trampoline why the attack? Something something just shitty poems so there's no need for me to retract back whack Big Mac sack
There once was a pony named Izzy
Who made all the Beatles quite dizzy
By sucking their... [hold on let me check the story rating. ... hmmm no sex tag. Welp, they say restrictions breed creativity. Lez do dis!] toes
While under their nose–
s SHE HELD CHLOROFORM SODA WHILE FIZZY
HELP NOW I AM STUCK IN CAPS LOCK
HELP NO I DO NOT WANT SOME HORSE
fuck, sorry about that. Where were we?
@#$%^&*#*:?@(]×)!]×#?7[2,77●¡♡○♧~¥¤》●¡¡■■■●■■●■■●■○◇~°¥♧♧♧◇¥◇◇♡♡♡□{1◇•¡♤£°₩;ĥ
There once was a sad background pony
Who made others memories baloney
She met Holden Caulfield
Who also liked ducks
And equally hated all phonies.
More Deconstruction
Luna decided one winter
To prank her deaf sis with a splinter
She took a wood chip
Made a shiv, and told Pip
"Oi m8, stab my sister and dent her."
More Deconstruction
Sweetie Belle, Sweetie Bird, Emotion
Caroline, Jesus, Compton Commotion
"Twilight, I don't understand, what does this list mean? Sweetie Bird, is that a pony you know? Why is my sister in there? Oh god what are you woah woah woah watch where you point that
A muffled cross between a bang and a spletch squelch sound sounded from deep within the friendship castle of friendship. Spike continued to writhe, thoroughly bound and gagged and chained to a radiator in the basement, the electrodes hooked to a broken timer. Twilight spent the next several hours idly singing the cleanup blood song.