• Member Since 23rd Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

VVingnut


Eternal lurker, new writer.

T

Magic.

For a long time, true magic was the domain of the unicorn nobility, or those few foals that were talented enough to be taken in as apprentices by accomplished wizards. Slowly, as civilization advanced and the masses were able to afford schooling for everyone, access to learning magic became ubiquitous.

However, just like in the old days, the mages still were a minority amongst unicorns - far from everyone was interested in studying for years or decades to become one, after all. Another holdover from the old days were the mage tournaments - a bit less fierce than the ones in the days of yore, but still enthusiastically participated in by proud unicorns wanting to show off their skills.

However, one day, the ancient traditions are shattered when a pegasus enters a mage tournament. And not only is he capable of holding his own, much to everyone's surprise, he even becomes the champion...

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 57 )

Just a stupid thing I had to get out of my head. I'm still alive, and haven't abandoned my main story, life's just been very busy and annoying lately.

He has a point though. Minus the tournament, Celestia is exactly like this in canon. Celestia favors unicorns, and nopony says a thing about it. Stormsinger might not hate her. But he just defeated her worse than any villain ever has.

Great story by the way 😊.

*reads story *

This would make an epic series! Love seeing authors expand on natural magic. Not to mention the political breakdown.

Bonus thoughts:

Celestia's special talent alone has all sorts of implications. We're introduced to the three tribal duties during the Hearth's Warming episode: The heavens for unicorns, the weather for pegasi, and food for the earth ponies. This is a lot like agriculture/hunting for humans in primitive times: everyone had to participate in it, until people got better and better at it, which eventually allowed enough food to be produced for people to have free time.

Once they had free time, they could do other things, like invent things and build more elaborate buildings, create better tools, which allowed even more food to be grown, and so on. We can assume that the same happened with the other tribes - in modern Equestria, there are dedicated weather teams for pegasi, and farmers for the earth ponies, but we see plenty of those ponies in all sorts of professions - artists, builders, entertainers, etc.

But what about the unicorns? Celestia is ancient. So she just showed up with Luna one day, and went "Alright, we're taking over the whole day/night thing, you kiddos go off and do whatever." So the unicorns suddenly had loads of free time on their hooves, while the other two tribes still had to perform their tribal duties of managing the weather and growing food.

How is that fair?

Kind of explains the uselessness of the Canterlot nobles... Way back when, they might have had the duties of keeping the day/night cycle going, but when Celestia showed up, they had lots of riches and entitlement with no more actual obligations to their fellow ponies. Some might have went on to be great pioneers in inventing, exploration or other fields, but it seems rather obvious that most of them just did the same thing human nobility did - roll around in their accumulated wealth in a circlejerk with the other nobles, telling each other how much "better" they are than the unwashed masses.

I remember only one fic that explored the concept, one where Celestia vanished, and the unicorns had to re-learn how to raise the Sun again, restoring their spiritual connection to Equestria and other ponies. It's been a LONG time since I read it, though, and I forgot the name...

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Thanks, glad you liked my obsessive deconstruction/analysis of the show's lore. Some people actually make fun of authors that like to pick apart the tiniest lore details, but then, what do they think fanfiction is for?

Small bonus here:
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I might slap on an extra chapter or two someday, but for now, the story is complete. I've got too much to deal with in RL, and then there's my other story I should be working on.

However, one day, the ancient traditions are shattered when a pegasus enters a mage tournament. And not only is he capable of holding his own, much to everyone's surprise, he even becomes the champion...

a part of me want my O.C. FlashTruth
it have a friendly magic Duel with that pegasus

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As decent as stormsinger might be in his reasoning, his attitude was awful and careless.

And as a devils advocate, one might argue that the whole of Celestia is basically “for her station”. The only time we really see Celestia do anything is during fights and even then she is not really that good compared to what you would expect while watching the show.

I think it’s pretty clear from celestia and Lunas retirements that they’re not really part of the “nobility” either. At least in their hearts otherwise all of that pomp and circumstance would have followed them into retirement.

And finally, I think that while Celestia could have done better at being a princess of all, instead of just the unicorns, during her time on the throne, I think it is unfair to criticise her in such a fashion for where she came from. As far as I remember, in the show the only race that has something like this competition above is actually the Pegasi with the wonderbolts and the young fliers competition, which Celestia herself attends. Unicorns do have Celestias school but afaik they don’t have anything like the aforementioned in the show itself. Imho earth ponies are the most ignored. The Pegasi were decently treated by “the government” in the show.

The story wasn’t bad and an interesting perspective of things but I think it could have been presented without being so rude to Celestia like that.

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I think it could have been presented without being so rude to Celestia like that.

And Stormsinger is immediately proven correct as people misunderstand him :P

Standing up again, he muttered through gritted teeth. "This is why I keep to myself..."

I think it’s pretty clear from celestia and Lunas retirements that they’re not really part of the “nobility” either. At least in their hearts otherwise all of that pomp and circumstance would have followed them into retirement.

See

She ascended the throne somewhat young, and over time, the habits of how a princess was supposed to carry herself just got ingrained into her behavior.

I think that sums it up quite adequately. Yes, she's obviously a person of her own, and not a two-dimensional stereotype like how some nobles seem to be; However, given how everyone tends to immediately bow down to her whenever she shows up, and they all act shocked when she gets caught doing something "casual", it's pretty safe to assume that:
A) There are certain protocols on how to behave around a Princess, and how a Princess is supposed to behave;
B)She rarely deviates from those behavioral guidelines - otherwise ponies wouldn't act like that around her. She had over a thousand years to slowly enact any changes she could possibly want, after all.

And finally, I think that while Celestia could have done better at being a princess of all, instead of just the unicorns,

It was specifically stated that Stormsinger doesn't think she's a princess of unicorns in the way that she favors them; just in her style of ruling and behavior, nothing more. It was not a moral indictment, just an observation that the entire idea of a "princess" is a unicorn thing, and she fully behaves like one, with no elements from the other tribe's styles of leadership.

the Pegasi with the wonderbolts and the young fliers competition, which Celestia herself attends. Unicorns do have Celestias school

One big difference: Pegasi schools are ran by pegasi. Celestia's school is personally sponsored by Celestia, with the Princess herself showing up to give lessons, and sometimes picking out personal students. She attended the flier's competition only as an observer/judge.

afaik they don’t have anything like the aforementioned in the show itself.

Hence the AU tag.

Imho earth ponies are the most ignored.

Entirely true.

Thanks for the critique.

I'm... conflicted on this story. While the critiques in isolation aren't exactly wrong, to use Celestia as scapegoat for the show creators' lack of developing the magics of the other tribes doesn't sit well with me. Yeah, sure, I would have loved to see wirlwind throwing pegasi. Hell, give me earthbending earth ponies while we're at it. But that the show staff didn't put those in the show, and instead made Twilight the magic problem solving mcguffin, is hardly a mark against Celestia.

On a side note, Celestia does fly. The chariot is mostly seen during the earlier two or three seasons, but in the later seasons it has mostly disappeared and Celestia flies around herself.

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On the Canterlot nobility, while they are a mainstay in many a fanfic, it's interesting to note that as far as the show goes they are entirely non-canon. There's certainly an upper class in Canterlot, and many of those are unicorns, but in terms of actual nobility there's really only Blueblood and the Duke and Duchess of Maretonia, with the Duke himself being an earth pony rather than a unicorn.

It was specifically stated that Stormsinger doesn't think she's a princess of unicorns in the way that she favors them; just in her style of ruling and behavior, nothing more. It was not a moral indictment, just an observation that the entire idea of a "princess" is a unicorn thing, and she fully behaves like one, with no elements from the other tribe's styles of leadership.

Well, that's mostly because it's kind of hard to incorporate those elements. Pegasi society pre-Equestria was a military society, they didn't have Princesses (or senators and legates, really) they had commanders and generals. The only time that kind of leadership would move to the forefront would be during wartime. Which we actually did see during the Crystal War timeline, where Celestia take on a commander style of rulership and led from the front. Heck, even in the main timeline, when Chrysalis starts her invasion the first to move into action was Celestia. Earth ponies, meanwhile, were a representative democracy. Representative democracy and royalty are kind of incompatible, though Celestia does let most of the nation's local government affairs be ruled through earth pony style representative democracy, rather than crown appointed officials.

Well this presents a certainly....interesting perspective on the whole thing. Certainly one that makes you stop and actually think. I enjoyed the read, you've given me something to at least keep in mind.

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While the critiques in isolation aren't exactly wrong, to use Celestia as scapegoat for the show creators' lack of developing the magics of the other tribes doesn't sit well with me.

Not really what I was aiming for. My answer to the lack of other tribe's magics is creating Stormsinger, not scapegoating Celestia. Which part gave you that idea, the one about the school? When he points out that Celestia has a school for unicorns, it's about the fact that even her special talent is an entirely unicorn one (One princess used her unicorn magic to raise the sun, while the other...), and it ties back to the fact that he's not surprised she doesn't know any pegasus magic. Not just her special talent, but her entire magical knowledge is pretty much that of a unicorn.
Putting the blame at Celestia's hooves would be rather dumb. It's like saying that she's responsible for the magic education of the entirety of Equestria, for every single pony tribe, and it would all fail without her.

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Glad you liked it.

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It's mostly the part where the story notes Celestia has never heard of Stormsinger's techniques. Sure, the show has never shown any proper pegasus magic, but the step from "the show never did anything cool with pegasi magic" to "therefore, Celestia is mostly ignorant of this kind of magic, and Stormsinger get to lecture her on that" feels like she is turned into a stand in for the creators to critique.

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On a side note, Celestia does fly. The chariot is mostly seen during the earlier two or three seasons, but in the later seasons it has mostly disappeared and Celestia flies around herself.

I guess that means Stormsinger got to her, eh? :P Given that this is set pre-S1 (I know I didn't make it obvious, but it's implied by the fact that Twilight's still a unicorn, and her friends are nowhere to be seen), that makes his argument still valid.

Also, we have seen how pegasi do magic all the way back in Winter Wrap up: by forming flocks in the sky, and flying in formation, projecting an "aura" of sorts, and their combined power is enough to completely change the weather in their wake. But during the Crystalling epsiode, we've seen Celestia and Luna trying to stop the blizzard that was engulfing the Crystal Empire by simply flying out to it and zapping it with their horns, which... Didn't really seem to be having much of an effect. Guess that despite flying around by themselves a little more, they never got around to really learning pegasus magic, hm? Heh.

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Well, that's funny... My second reply to your comment is rather a fitting reply to this one, as well.
In my opinion, the show did demonstrate that Celestia doesn't really know much about pegasus magic at all.
And...

It's mostly the part where the story notes Celestia has never heard of Stormsinger's techniques.

Well, yes, she didn't. I don't see how it implies she's ignorant, though? I never said there were more pegasi mages running around Equestria. Thing is, Stormsinger really is the only one in Equestria who figured out how to use pegasus magic like that, so he's a genuine novelty rather than just something Celestia managed to miss for a thousand+ years.

With all this discussion I'm having in the comments, I might as well write a second chapter of him having a discussion with Celestia, instead...

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Oh it worked just fine. Initially. Then the storm grew to a strength where it couldn't be pushed back anymore. Rainbow Dash was even worse off, she barely got through a half a dozen clouds before her wings were too frozen for her to even fly (while Celestia and Luna were still flying even after having been up there for far longer, how's that for pegasus magic? :P).

But it's really more the show's tendency to put unicorn magic over everything else. Even Cadance uses unicorn magic whenever she can, and that mare was born a pegasus and raised by earth ponies!

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I know I wouldn't mind. More food for more discussions! :pinkiehappy:

I think also a part of Celestia's lack of knowledge on Pegasus magic is that her and Luna were taught a decent chunk, if not most, of what they know regarding magic from Starswirl, the greatest unicorn mage.

This story may prove useful to me as a game-master for Dungeons and Dragons 3.5 . I have struggled with providing enough options while also keeping the races feeling highly distinct. This story gives me some ideas that may be worth pursuing, although I already have them shooting lightning from their hooves, obscuring their bodies with clouds enough to make their opponents miss a significant portion of the time (see how a flowing cloak could be used as a functional thing to confuse ones exactly body positioning in a sword fight IRL I think?), and, when they have some prep. time, wearing small stormclouds on their hooves that function as single-user tasers. (spoiler to share world-building thoughts while hopefully not being rude by distracting from the story.

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Your last link of the three is broken for me.

Hmm, this reminds me of the comic I'm writing. There are some great points that I may use in the future, the way the system is structured and all that. How all traditions are unicornian. Great fic.

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Those are indeed, excellent suggestions for most people.

Tails of Equestria is MAYBE something I could play and enjoy, but I would have to look into more than I have the energy for this minute, and I suspect it would not fit my goals. From the minute or two of play I watched it might actually model the Ponies well, but I also suspect it lacks the room for tactical depth that I happen to ALSO enjoy.

The other thing you linked to seems to be based on 5e, and I think I have even tried an earlier incarnation of that specific interpretation. It did not feel right at all to me based on either of those metrics I mentioned. To elaborate (in case anyone happens to care) :

  1. Making the three races feel very different from each-other with all of them able to do things that the others simply CAN'T, at least in terms of how they do them specifically, and how easily. For instance, a 3rd level Earth Pony causing a localized earthquake is something I can buy, but it should be harder for Unicorns. The Earth Pony furthermore should be stomping on the ground to do so, while the Unicorn should be casting a spell WITHOUT using magical words or gestures. This version seems to have taken some steps towards fixing that, although it doesn't seem to have gone as far as I would prefer... easy enough to fix in theory... for a first approximation, just remove the ability score bonuses from Unicorns, and merge most of the casting lists into one, then remove the cleric and warlock from the game. Turn the domains into "Sorcerous Origins", then say that ONLY the Unicorns and maybe Kirin can take levels of sorcerer or paladin (in addition to Eldritch Knight, etc.). There are almost certainly some major problems with this but I think I have already provided more than enough detail for the purposes of giving an example of what my tastes, and thus goals are in this regard.
  2. If it isn't easy for the GM to arrange it so that the players are rewarded for taking ROUGHLY as long planning an attack as carrying it out (at least sometimes) then something is wrong. Also the consequences for failure have to be very long lasting. While I don't use 3.x's permanent level loss for coming back to life in my current campaign, I do try to do something approximately as harsh for hitting -10 hitpoints as that. 4E is MUCH too forgiving of poor tactical thinking for my tastes.

Again, good on you for providing two of the several more general-purpose answers that might interest those who read these comments.

I feel like the main challenge that Stormsinger faces is not that his ideas are especially outlandish, but that he's terrible at communicating them.

That was a good story.

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Guess I should write a second chapter and add more details.
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Glad you liked it.
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Thank you.

And someone's downvoting a bunch of comments. Guess I went against someone's headcanon, or something.

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Dude, relax.

He wasn't being rude, he was stating his observations. The facts that he has seen and experienced as a pony from Equestria. He never actively attacked Celestia in anyway, voluntary or otherwise. Celestia was actually the one who asked him to elaborate on his thoughts and observations, so he's in the clear no matter how you swing it.

All he did was explain that the foundation of Celestia's station is unicorn in origin and nature.

That's it.

So relax, my dude :twilightsmile:. Don't let you emotions get the better of you before looking at the bigger picture. Not knocking, happens to all of us. :rainbowwild:

Caveat:
It's actually StormSinger who was insulted. He was dismissed multiple times by his peers for having "outlandish" and "brash" ideas that break the mold. You can tell that he heard enough for one lifetime during his magic studies.

I love stories like this. The kind that get you thinking. Everything brought up in the story was ridiculously valid in the show and IRL! So well done!

Side note:
Out of curiosity, I wondered what the scenario would be like if I superimposed StormSinger with my own OC, Pure Spirit (Profile Pic, FYI). Conclusion? He probably wouldn't have bothered entering though there's good chance he'd have made similar observations, though not as detailed or deep as StormSinger.

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And really, I'm not overly surprised that the princess of unicorns hasn't heard anything about it.

I’m sorry but this was rude and uncalled for. Celesta was not rude towards him and even went and referred to him with proper mage titles. This kind of came out of nowhere.

If I said something like that to someone at work they’d consider my attitude hostile, and rightfully so. It also sets a sour tone for the rest of his monologue.

And I am relaxed :twilightsmile: just chilling in bed before sleep pondering on a story. We are allowed to critique, that’s an enjoyable part of reading stories!

Thank you so much for writing this.

I have neither the courage, or patience needed write a story of my own, but one idea I have had floating around in my head for a while was.

What if Sunset Shimmer had a friend like this? An unusual Pegasus who wanted to learn about other forms of magic, and the two of them bonded over there mutual love of the subject. Magic.

I'm just glad to see someone who has a similar thought process to my own.

Again, thank you for writing an awesome story.

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I will concede your point to an extent.

Stormsinger shrugged, making a "so-so" gesture with his foreleg. "Mostly on my own, though there were some old texts I read... And really, I'm not overly surprised that the princess of unicorns hasn't heard anything about it."

This is one of the sad truths about humans. When we experience something outside the norm, we interpret it in a negative light initially. The truth of the above statement is that he didn't mean that as an insult. He's being objective here where as everyone else, in the story and IRL, perceived it subjectively. Not knowing is negative. Apply it to someone and you're being negative about them.

Actually, a better way to describe "Princess of Unicorns" is to look at it backwards. Let me explain. When SS said "Princess of Unicorns", A lot of people probably thought he meant "Princess for the Unicorns". Instead, look at it as "Princess by the Unicorns".

Unicorns give princess, not unicorns take princess. Get what I'm saying?

Still with me?

My point is that it sounds insulting but it actually isn't. It's a perspective that requires a bit more open-mindedness than we're used to.

...

BTW, was it you who down-voted BOTH my comments and not just the first (long) one? Or was that someone else? Kinda curious TBH. :rainbowhuh:

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Let's not forget how they also don't know anything about dragon culture either. So this isn't exclusive to ponies.

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See, this guy gets it. There's nothing rude about observing things as they are or stating facts. If people choose to get offended, that's their choice.
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He wasn't even addressing Celestia, though. He was talking to Twilight. She gushed about how if even her beloved mentor didn't know about it, the one that clearly must know about all magic, then that meant Stormsinger created something new. He replied with a simple observation that he's not surprised, since she's actually entirely focused on unicorn magic, and wouldn't know much about pegasi. If implying someone is not omniscient is rude, well... Can't help you there.

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You're welcome. Glad you enjoyed it.

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There's one more interesting thing to note about the "Princess of unicorns" title. It implies, as so often is assumed, that Celestia is a Princess of ponies. But while she is a Princess of a lot of ponies, it's more accurate to say she's the Princess of Equestria. The pre-Equestrian Pegasi and earth pony nations might have had different governments, But Equestria has had royal leadership almost since its inception. And be they unicorn, pegasi, earth pony, or even donkey, minotaur or cow, as long as they are citizens of Equestria, Celestia is their Princess.

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Smack me stupid, that is a massively good point. However, I must make a counter-point. As far as I know (feel free to correct me) it is unconfirmed that non-pony nations (Griffonstone, YakYakistan, etc...) are a part of Equestria, outside of immigrants. This should mean it's safe to say that, especially back then, the unicorns held majority ruling, and seeing how the nobility act, it's a safe bet they probably didn't bother taking the perspectives of non-ponies (or even earth and pegasi ponies for that matter) into consideration.

We wouldn't be having such an intellectual discussion about it if they did. Go figure. :trixieshiftright:

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I think there's a fundamental misunderstanding of the whole thing going on here, exactly like in the story. The "Princess of unicorns" - I already explained to death what it actually meant. No, Stormsinger wasn't even remotely insulting Celestia, and that's a fact. She completely misunderstood what he was implying when he said that, extrapolating an entirely different meaning than what he actually meant, which would have been an insult, and her reaction would have been entirely appropriate if it was. IF. This is all literally part of the story. However, she was diplomatic enough to let him explain himself.

He then proceeded to explain what he meant, and she understood that it wasn't meant as an insult.

A few other people already pointed out that he might have problems communicating his ideas, which is true and also part of the story.

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Hey now,
in my defense, I understand SS fully because I'm on the same boat as him. I know what it's like to A) have my ideas dismissed for being unorthodox and B) people don't see where I'm coming from, misunderstand me and/or misinterpret what I say.

I was just explaining to Keroko that despite there being other races besides ponies, the unicorn nobility didn't give a hoot about them when the role of princess was originated.

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Oh there are absolutely nations independent of Equestria. That Yakyakistan closed its borders to Equestria is irrefutable proof that they are independant (can't close borders that don't exist, after all), but there's also non-ponies who live in Equestria. Cranky and Mathilda come to mind, as does Gustaf le Grande and Applejack has a whole herd of cows as friends and neighbours. And of course I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Spike, the number one non-pony character of the show.

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Oh I know, I'm mostly running down a tangent the discussion had been drifting towards and nitpicking Stormsinger's statement in the process.

Oh look.
A surprise second chapter.
No more chapters though, this time for real.

This chapter was intriguing. I enjoyed it very much. :twilightsmile:
Any thoughts for a sequel in the future?

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I’m at work so can’t really respond to everything. But just wanted to make it known I’d only ever downvote someone who is being rude to the author or another commenter. I wouldn’t downvote you for disagreeing with me! Sorry that someone is downvoting you!

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Oh boy, that's a complicated answer...
SOMEtime in the future, maybe, but I've got other stories to write, and I just can't seem to find the time.
And technically, this is a finished fic with at least a hundred thousand words, I think... The only problem, it's all in my head.
Over the years, I must've thought up a good half a dozen fics, at least. I just never actually sat down to write them.

this was amazing i love it

Well...Color me impressed....Rare it's to see Celly get that out of the game....and those were good points that Storm made, while keeping it so that it did not made Celly looks like Unicorn Supremacist...or at least tried to....very well made...let'see next chappy.....and wait possible Sequel? ;) :pinkiehappy::derpytongue2:

That was a good story. Goodluck with your next one.

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Honestly, I could care less if someone downvotes me. I just laughed when I saw it, wondering why they blind-downvote me without reading the comments. The long one sure because they disagree with my POV. The short one was just a quick "good work" to the author.

Clearly, they had a hair trigger and I find them funny.

Sorry for thinking it could've been you. Just wanted to make sure. No hard feelings, I hope.:twilightblush:

11280350
Put a bow on it 'cause it's nicely wrapped up. Well done!

Any chance of WhisperWind / StormSinger making a return in the future? Things could get intriguing if he ever runs into Rainbow Dash or the Wonder Bolts.

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11280700
Sequels are not impossible, but definitely not planned any time in the near future.

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Thanks.

Earth pony magic increases size. Take control of it, shrink yourself as much as possible for a surprise effect, then channel all your magic into the limb for lengthening.
Limbs that easily change their length will serve well for attack, defense, fast movement and throwing projectiles.

You can hide in your hair or somewhere else a couple of plants like vines or those same blue flowers. You can throw seeds at the enemy and grow plants right on it.
It might even be possible to use magic to grow a wooden wolf.

Sad pink made everything rotting

Zecora can create water, maybe a few fanfiction tricks can work with earth ponies.

Or you can grow a stone in the enemy.

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