• Member Since 9th Dec, 2021
  • offline last seen February 12th

Commander30


I write fanfic about lots of things. Including ponies now, apparently.

E

Fluttershy doesn't realize exactly what she's getting into when she becomes the bearer of the Element of Kindness. Thus, when the Elements are used to turn Discord to stone, she is horrified and plagued by nightmares... nightmares of the power she wields but never asked for, nightmares of how far she might have to go, nightmares of a legacy she never wanted. She's going to have to take major steps to soothe her guilt. Befriending Discord is only the beginning, it seems.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 26 )

Very, very nice. Your take on Fluttershy's feelings regarding being an Element is fresh -- there's bits in there that other authors have touched on, but your version is something I've never quite seen before, and yet it's so very much in character. And this shows the evolution of the friendship beautifully, where it becomes absolutely plausible and obvious why Fluttershy would feel so strongly for Discord. Also you get points for your title. I love that song.

So so happy to see this finally published! Can't wait to read <3

Aqualung, my friend
Don't you start away uneasy
You poor old sod
You see, it's only me

11082745
Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you found it fresh--writing for such a large, active fandom like this made me a little worried about being a little stale, so I'm happy to hear that I've avoided that a bit.

Also, I've been reading a bunch of your stuff on FFN and I love your work! Kinda stoked to see you here and get a nice review from you lol :D

11083208
I'm glad people know the title reference (even though the song itself really has nothing to do with this fic, but that one line just fit so well) :D

11083224
Foggy Freeze would be a great pegasus pony name.

:pinkiegasp: Do my eyes deceive me? They do not. A fanfiction writer from years past in another fandom, whose work I read and really liked, has joined the world of MLP fanfic. This was a very pleasant surprise. I loved some of your old Powerpuff Girls fics, both the regular ones on FFN and the Drabble entries over at PPG_Hub. And clearly, you'll settle in just fine – you've already got follows from a few prominent faces, and are acquainted with Monochromatic (apparently before this fic even went live, at that).

Ah, I suppose I should tackle the fic itself. :twilightsheepish: I really liked it, and I say that as someone for whom Discord/Fluttershy material isn't a big attraction, even if romance is kept out of it. This fic has all the hallmarks of someone making their first fandom dive (for this fandom, I should clarify), doing a little expansion on canon events and spending just as much time re-contextualising select events from certain episodes. Not going to complain there, for it did a great job of feeling like a unique take on how Fluttershy would feel about all these events, yet also feeling right and correct. And she's not the only one – this may well be my favourite depiction of exactly what Discord did in the days right after "Keep Calm and Flutter On". I got most curious after the first three chapters, which mostly focused on extra scenes that decontextualised canon events. Using that as a bridge to the fully new material worked really well as a structural divide.

As an exercise in slightly extending beyond canon yet feeling just right, this is already worthy of attention. That it's a great "little" character piece on top of that, showcasing exactly why Fluttershy would grow so attached to Discord, is just icing on the cake. Even if I remain convinced that direction robbed both characters of much individual agency on the show, I can't argue with your depiction of it here.

And don't worry about the ballooning length – it honestly justifies itself, and never feels indulgent. I read all 23,000+ words in one sitting, after all. Chapter division was pretty spot on too. Even if I hadn't read your older work, this fic alone is proof you're far from a novice writer. You more then deserve your first fic here getting featured!

Whether you become a regular around here, or just cross-post whenever a MLP fic strikes your fancy, great to see you still writing and kicking words, Commander!

Very nice story, almost reads like an episode from the show itself. I gave it a 7/10 in my review, which you can find on my profile, if you're interested.

I have a question, however. After you decided to expand the story, did you plan the last two chapters along with the others? The story feels like it could have easily ended after the 4th one and while the rest definitely don't feel tackled on, they do seem surprisingly disconnected from the rest of the story (due to the big timeskip and by bringing the glass panes up, which the story seemed to slowly phase out of focus until that point.

11083881
Thank you so much for such a nice comment! πŸ˜€ I'm glad to see that so many people remember my PPG output and look back on it fondly, despite how long ago it was. Those were some good times. I still have a few ideas for PPG fics running through my head every now and then, maybe I should try to pick some of them up one of these days...

Anyhoo, I'm really glad to hear that you enjoyed it, even though the featured characters aren't who you'd usually read for. That's high praise that it still held your attention despite that! I'm also glad to hear that the chapter breaks worked, since this wasn't supposed to be this long and I struggled a bit figuring out where they should go, haha.

I don't know how many more MLP fics I'll be writing, although I'd guess at least a few more will be forthcoming, and they'll definitely be cross-posted here! :twilightsmile: Thanks again for taking the time to read and leave a comment, I really appreciate it!

11083991
Thank you so much for taking the time to read a detailed review! I really appreciate that you took the time to do that. πŸ˜€

After you decided to expand the story, did you plan the last two chapters along with the others?

It was actually kind of the other way around, haha. What ended up being chapters 5 and 6 were my main impetus for writing the story in the first place, and everything that came before it was buildup to what I had planned. When I started writing this I honestly expected the whole thing to only be around 10K words, so when I finally got to the "meat" of the story I was working towards, I was surprised to see how long it had gotten. The story kind of got away from me :twilightsheepish:

Thanks again for reading and reviewing :twilightsmile:

Ah, you'll get over it. By season 8, you'll be able to murder the heck out of Sombra and just keep smiling! :pinkiecrazy:

(That is, if seasons eight and nine aren't mostly a series of nonsensical dreams brought on Twilight foolishly allowing Starlight to talk her into trying Trixie's "Five alarm spicy gumbo" for dinner.)

11086518
lol, I haven't seen much of the later seasons yet, but from what I know of them, it's kind of making me want to write more fanfic around this idea with Fluttershy terrified of how hardened she's become after everything she's had to do... although the gumbo idea is interesting too πŸ˜„

I don't think I've ever seen a fic covering this kind of slice-of-life-esque retelling of the story of Discord and Fluttershy. And it's beautiful! You've just barely nudged a few details around in the canon and added some fantastic insight into Fluttershy's mental space, but it adds so much to the story!

β€œCan it be a barstool, then?” Discord asked instantly.

Ah, yes, the classic commemorative barstool. Personally, I prefer the lampshade, but as needs must.

11092035
Thank you so much for the nice review and the favorite! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

That was a good story.

11118947
Thanks for the fave, I'm glad you liked it! :D

Wow.

Welcome to the fandom, Commander. You've just written my new favorite Fluttershy fic.

11131773
That's certainly high praise! Thank you very much, I'm so glad to hear that you liked the story! :raritystarry:

all i can say is that i love this so much, it’s just wholesome and i’m gonna read it over and over for the rest of my LIFE <3

11188091
Thank you so much! :D

Devastated it ends here. I loveeee Fluttershy's inner turmoil, how very in-character?? And her dynamic with Discord is awesomely spot-on! I truly wish there were more of this, more of them!

11332726
Missed seeing this comment yesterday... anyhoo, thanks so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

Very enjoyable Fluttercord, sweet and well characterized. Bravo!

11410432
Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it! And sorry that it took me over six months to respond, ooofff...

11592202
I am going to have to re-read your story -- i can't remember what the Aqualung lyric in the title signified!
I do recall that said lyric what what attracted my attention in the first place.

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