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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Mind-blowing Not just a update but one with over 12.000 words! I am in awe!
So do I have to read the original Feathered Heart to understand this story, or can I just start reading this one? Edit: NVM, got my answer.
Can we have a rough summary what they started with and who is lost now?
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You’re welcome! Hope you enjoy.
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No problem, but I’ll answer anyway. Reading the original is not required at all, but I ask folks to do so in order to pay homage to its author, who did a great deal for the fandom and inspired a lot of my own works. The original remains the most unlikely story concept I’ve ever seen made work.
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Certainly. Hopefully this chart will explain it:
lh5.googleusercontent.com/0mZy2QMT3rJro4WBBXNHFYEkwiCKt8UcqmDXhrzUNkDrmOukhraLKQ9I8VJdQ9oLPj0Ij8PcPY9jr37PgkeXQMUeuOSp6-rfHRSaPyv0ZZJOghD8FelxzzE0FhXs4Zw-Vw8bpOQD9G21c-xskuWE-Ks
Keep in mind that they gained some numbers as well as lost them, in the form of the rescued civilians and the three Ibex. Those numbers are shown in green. Regardless, they’re down to 49 individuals in their party, and only 36 usable combatants at this point.
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Great to see all humans are still around, so no Borg like assimilating of knowledge, yet.
All three Ibex around give for nice options for romance
Good to see the Raven still are around. So 2 Raven have given up their Cloaking neckless to Fortrakt and 1 stealth one remains?
Sad to see a wipe of the Paladins
Almost half the Griffon force is gone
Great 4 Civilians with 3 carrying their weight while the 'Fat fuck' is taking up space, ressources and gives nothing back... Seriously, he is dead with a bullet in the head more worth than alive
They just cant get a break can they? (A less exciting story that would make, everything going to plan)
Poor Chris and Tara, just glad they are not KIA
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Well, not from this group, no...
Very possibly!
It’s possible they have spares.
They were killed in the initial airborne ambush when they entered an active lightning field. They were flying in front and took the brunt of the first volley. They didn’t have anti-lightning enchantments since no storms were expected.
And don’t think Gilda doesn’t know it.
There’s a debate among my prereaders as to what to do with him. No decision has been reached.
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That no plan survives first contact with the enemy has been proven yet again. But at least Gilda was equal to the challenge and able to make the correct changes and decisions on the fly. She wondered if she’s worthy of being a Centurion? Her quick thinking in this chapter especially seem to suggest that she is.
I ain’t gonna kill them! In the original story, Chris received his injuries (broken back) during the carriage crash following the initial airborne ambush with the lightning field. So here, he gets it in battle.
It's here <3
Ah another man that likes to live dangerously.
Also I'd like to make a prediction for our... lovable diplobrat
1:45 if the timestamp doesn't work.
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If the cloven gets him and they don't make him a zombie, he's never going to hear the end of how his head is empty!
Awesome chapter as always, really looking forward to the next one since cleaning rooms and searching for ponies and griffons isn't the ideal condition in semi urban environments.
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Sometimes I think Marco literally does get off on it!
Diplobrat. Imma remember that.
Heh! I’m sure folks would love that, but in truth, I haven’t figured out what to do with him yet. The problem is that he does appear in future chapters of the original and hadn’t died by the time of its final available entry. So his fate remains uncertain for now. My prereaders have had a few not-so-nice opinions on the matter, to be sure. But ultimately, what the question of Raleigh boils down to is this: Do I get rid of him or at least somewhat try to redeem him? Guess we’ll find out going forward as I get more written.
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Raleigh has already gotten an earful of how fat and useless he is, and I’m sure it’s weighing on him at least a bit. He doesn’t like Marco, but has also gotten a pretty inescapable lesson of how little his supposed authority means out there.
Is he redeemable? My honest answer is that I don’t know yet. I’ll just have to keep writing and see what happens with him, with the understanding that in the original, he does survive to at least the end of the final chapter. So he’s not dying any time soon here, either.
Thanks! You’re 100% right about that, and their best option for doing so--the Ravens--aren’t in the best shape themselves any longer, with one of their three members down and their leader walking wounded. There’s also the little matter of those potential survivors mentioned at the end, though I’m going to keep where that’s going a secret for now.
So when we get some bigger toys on the field from earth? Some heavy firepower needed
Thanks again Firesight for brining us another amazing chapter. I have to say that this chapter has got to be one of my top most favorite chapters thus far you've released for this story. The whole chapter was masterfully done to make the whole stealthy mission of Gilda's and Fortrakts as suspenseful and nervracking as possible. Adding things like Gilda and Fortrack seeing the Cloven legion column and possesed dragons heading towards Bale, in addition to the sounds and sights of fightng taking place there soon after, slowly racked up the tension of the whole stealth mission over the course of the chapter making us readers wondering if Gilda and Fortrack would recall/summon everyone in time. That's not even mentioning the mid flight revelation Gilda had about thier origonal planed destination potentially being discovered by the Cloven. Overall, I simply loved the whole sequence of events of this chapter, which had me hanging on the edge of my seat during the whole read. As always, without mentioning specifics, I love all the dialog you make between all our main characters and thier interactions before and after the stealth mission of Gilda's and Fortrack's. I also wanted to mention that you've done a great job at vividly depicting how great and terrible of an enemy the Cloven really are with the devastation and death they have brought to the countryside, in addition to their terrifying abilities. From what we have seen thus far they are like the freeky lovechild of both the Flood from Halo and Zerg from starcraft put together. I'm really excited to see what you have in store for us in your next chapter, and what the remaining half of the trip to Aricia has in store for our favorite group of characters. Last thing to note, it was nice seeing the custom maps depicting the land that you've included in the chapters to help us readers visualize the path that GIlda and company took during the chapter, which I greatly appreciatef. It makes me curious if in the future you might include and possibly commission art of scenes during the story or our favorite characters like Fortrack, Girardi, and Marco as example. I think alot of readers would enjoy seeing stuff like that in the future and I think it would greatly enhance the depicting of the whole story. Thanks again for all the hard work, time and effort you put into making this chapter and every other one a reality. I wish you the best of luck writing the next one. Cheers!
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Oooh... I think I found it!
Remember the real threat in Star Trek's "Trouble with Tribbles" episode...?
*later, at the negotiation table*
Bob: "So, you see, we had to send the Cloven after you--well--to save all of you!"
Chrysalis: "Oh, bloody hell! Here we go!"
Everybody else: "SAY WHAT!? "
Bob: "Because you humans have some seriously dumb fuck politicians running your world! "
Marco: "You know, I can appreciate that. I really can! "
Gilda: ""
Captain Moran: ""
Ambassador Goldberg: ""
Chrysalis: "Well, what do you know!? Bob actually had a good idea for once! Shitty way to implement--but that's Bob for you. "
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Oh, BTW, you forgot to count up how many Plans became casualties in that Excel list.
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It might take some time—I mean, at this point, the war is only a day old! And even once humanity agrees to send help, how do you establish a logistics train and the means to transport that firepower from the portal to the Kingdom? I mean, it would take a powerful public figure who’s also an organizational expert to pull that off!
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Greatly appreciate the comment, though in all honesty, it’s a little hard on the eyes to read through large unbroken blocks of text at times. Might I suggest an occasional paragraph break?
Out of the entire story, this chapter is one of your favorites? That’s high compliment indeed! That’s exactly what I was going for—pure nerve-wracking suspense. The irony is, Gilda and Fortrakt never once engaged in combat here, but that didn’t mean they weren’t in constant danger.
Thanks again! In full disclosure, that wasn’t planned, though. Gilda’s mid-flight revelation was one that struck me at the exact same point it hit her. Her reaction kind of mimicked my own as I thought of that just as I was typing that paragraph, with my thoughts and fingers suddenly coming to a screeching halt. So I had to come up with an alternate plan on the fly, and it had to be something that would make sense given everything we already knew and, more importantly, given what Gilda and Fortrakt would know/could do there.
These are all things I love to hear! Those interactions and dialog are really what help to sell the story just as much as the battle sequences, because they really flesh the characters out.
Pretty much! But in many ways, they’re even more dangerous than both, combining the worst of both worlds. Nor is Earth safe from them; if they succeed in overrunning the Kingdom, then the rest of the world of Tellus wouldn’t be far behind. They would then have knowledge of the portals, and presumably how to open more of them, so even if the original portal is destroyed, humanity isn’t safe. You can bet that will factor into the thinking of human governments on whether to send aid or assist in the fight.
Well, I don’t think it’s much of a spoiler to say that we’ll be catching up to the original story’s chapter 9 with the next entry, so expect a good chunk of that content to be incorporated. It will, of course, be heavily updated.
Thanks! Those really do take a lot of time and effort, often taking up half my weekend to do, so it’s good to hear that readers like them. That helps give me the motivation to do more of them.
Well, for as much as I’d like to do that, the problem is that it costs money, and it would be for something I’d not getting paid for. I’m trying to save money right now.
Appreciate your comments as always! They’re a huge bright spot in my day, and something I always look forward to with new chapter releases.
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Twilight needs to Twilight this with a sprinkle of Glim Glam
Need more quicker, bigger portal, say a 400m diameter in a bay~
CALL IN THE FLEET!
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The answer to that question is TBD. DEL never gave us a reason for either the name or existence of the Cloven of the Sun, or why they returned now. I’ll attempt to come up with those answers late in the story and share them with readers at the appropriate time.
Oooh... I think I found it!
Remember the real threat in Star Trek's "Trouble with Tribbles" episode...?
Me too, Marco. Me too.
He had to destroy both worlds in order to save them from human politicians? An idea that's so crazy it just might work.
Damn, you're right. I should have added another column for that!
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I'm okay coming up with peanut gallery comments, but I hope someone can someday take Bob the Changeling and do a series of stories with him up proper!
Started reading this a few days ago, and I gotta say, this story made me appreciate warfics way more than before. I'm a sucker for detailed worldbuilding, and I feel lucky finding this. Also, thx to this story, after fully reading all the available chapters, I'm gonna dip my hands fully into the Firefly series, while maybe trying out some Gentelmen related fics too.
The downside that I can only think of currently, it's INCOMPLETE :(, making me suffer through the patience for some good quality chapters. But I'll gladly suffer through it :)
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I’ll have to pass on that, sorry. Comedy is one of the few genres I’m not that good at!
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Welcome! Thank you very much for saying so. If you’ve decided you like warfics and detailed worldbuilding, then Firefly should be right up your alley. I have not one but two finished stories available, adding up to around 675,000 words. They’re both chock full of not just battle, but heavy worldbuilding and interesting characters who evolve over time. If you do read them, please let me know what you think!
As for the Gentlemanverse fics, by all means read them, with the understanding that most of them are M-rated. I’ve got one of my own, called Five Star Service, though I would recommend you read the original Gentleman for Mares by the great and sorely missed Demon Eyes Laharl before picking it up. He set everything in motion, and neither Firefly nor Feathered Hearts would be here without his works.
[Adult story embed hidden]
Hey, if I leave you hungry for more, then I’ve done my job as a writer! I’m glad you’re willing to read it, even incomplete, though. Not everyone is. I’ll try to have at least monthly updates on it through the fall.
No plan survives contact with the enemy. Especially not when that enemy has an overwhelming force and multiple dragons at their command. (Though if word of the stingers gets back to the Dragonlands… You know, I’m really not sure what they’ll think of such news.)
In any case, the additional civilians just made this even more complicated, to say nothing of the Cloven getting access to human brains. We’ll have to see what happens from here.
*Refreshing Website intensifies*
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The question of what (non-corrupted) dragons otherwise think of humans could be an interesting one. And it will be answered later.
Indeed we will. This story, more than any I’ve had, seems to be writing itself as I go. I know the major plot points and scenes I want to reach, but in getting to them, the story is telling me what it wants and pulling me along for the ride. When that happens, I know I’ve got something good.
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As I just released a new chapter last weekend, you might have to refresh for a few weeks before the next one shows up! Just follow my blog posts for updates on what’s coming and possible teasers.
Sharp thinking by Gilda there. That could've gone a whole lot worse.
Man, sucks that Chris got hit like that. Hope they get him help real soon.
well this is good and so vary bad. some one is wounded and will be moving slow.
a awesome chapter i love it.
Here's to seeing MORE action packed chapters soon
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You’re not wrong. I wanted her wits to shine in this chapter to help show that she is worthy of her rank.
In full disclosure, he got hit to match the injuries he suffered in the original. There, he broke his back when the air coach he was in crashed after being caught in the lightning field. Of course, I did misremember Tara getting a broken leg in that incident. Only Raleigh did, but no matter. As for getting him help, though the situation may still seem bleak at times in the coming chapter, they will.
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Several someones, in fact. Here’s hoping Fortrakt completes his mission quickly.
Thanks!
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Appreciate the enthusiasm! For the time being, I’m going to try to release one new chapter a month while I work on various clopfics through the fall.
Got to love dedicated Stealth action:
Wounded Foal, that is bitter.
Hope the Foal is still alive and not another Sleeper Agent
A parent might excuse a after decay smelling Foal rather than face the truth...
Example:
Great chapter as all the rest. Sad that now I have to wait a few months for new chapter...
BUT,
I have the Firefly series to put my time too now~!
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No, you don’t. The next chapter is already well underway and should be out in a couple weeks. Follow my blog for updates.
Then I look forward to seeing what you think of it! You’ve got over 600k words in two stories ready to be read. Enjoy!
Haven't commented yet, but I just can't stop reading lol this is a damn good story, even if it isn't quite an original. But damn these Cloven are honestly terrifying. It's like the worst aspects of the Zerg, Tyrannids, and Necromorphs, all rolled into one legitimately horrifying enemy....... and I am loving it haha!
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Thanks! Appreciate you saying so. No, it’s not an original, but I’d say about 75-80% of the content is new at this point. I’m including the characters (of course), certain plot points and select scenes/pieces of dialog from the original, but otherwise? It’s me just taking the original story concept and running with it. And in many ways, it’s become my favorite story to work on.
And don’t forget the Borg and the Flood from HALO. They’re just about the worst qualities of all of them combined.
Other than Giraldi, I wonder if any other Griffin's or any non-humans will get the chance to use a human firearm?
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You might wonder. And I would simply say that audience acclaim would seem to demand it. I actually originally intended to do it here by having them accept the pistols, but I basically talked myself out of it with that sequence you read, as I realized it didn’t make sense for the reasons the chapter stated. Their thought processes mirrored my own at that point. So, having them wield firearms is not appropriate now. But later...?
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you are certainly going a great leangths to help out readers
I'm not sure what to say but I appreciate it :-)
also... I hope that Marines, especially Doc, knows that Morphin, without supplementary medicine is great thing to make Chris barf all over the place
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That’s my modus operandi as a writer. I want readers to be as immersed as possible and armed with as much information as they need. I’m more than happy to do stuff like that as a rule, and am even willing to do some fanservice for prereaders and regular readers alike.
Yep. I had secondary anti-nausea and other medications when I took opioids after major surgery. Even so, I did my best not to take them for very long. Really don’t want to get dependent on that stuff if you can at all help it.
Well... Shit.
Fat Ambassador aid is still around, while we lost two very useful and able unnamed Griffons.
I vote to rig the fat ambassador aid with explosives, he be perfect bait. He probably be a bad meatshield, so a meatbomb will have to do... unless you have other plans for him?
I doubt he be anything, but a problem waiting to happen.
I wonder if other nations than Griffonia and that of the Dragonlands will actively participate, Celestia & Luna of all should know how dire the threat of the Cloven is.
In one of my stories i use Celestia as the Sledgehammer of Equestria, you showed in a previous story how badass Celestia can be. So... Pony support?
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BANZAI!!!!
🔪🔪🔪🗡🗡💣💣💥💥
Gilda and Fortrakt switching to stealth, while all other going guns blazing. The only problem is that even if the marines have ammunition for days, this conflict will last weeks, months or years. How long will even their well stocked ammunition supplies dry out?
Something that remind me of a Halo universe battle where human troops eventually run out of ammo and had to salvage non human weapons and ammunition.
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Nice...
Time for some action
After some preparation...