• Published 3rd Sep 2012
  • 2,189 Views, 23 Comments

Cooling Off - OmegaPony11



Big Macintosh helps Rarity cool off

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Cooling Off

Cooling Off
By OmegaPony11

The plow trailing behind Big Macintosh broke the ground evenly as he whistled away a tinny tune from his schoolyard days. While the summer sun’s rays cascaded over the land with nary a cloud in sight, he wiped the sweat from his brow once he finished another line in the field. Taking a deep breath, he pulled himself free of the plow, letting it sit in the ground before walking off towards the house.

Applejack was out in the market, Applebloom was playing with her friends, and Granny Smith was napping in her rocking chair, leaving him the brunt of the farm’s chores. Not that he minded of course; to him, a hard day’s work was its own reward. Pulling up a stalk of tall grass and clenching it firmly in his teeth, he continued on his way with thoughts of lunch firmly in mind.

He arrived at the homestead, giving a quick nod to his sleeping Granny before turning to see somepony rapidly approaching from the distance. Squinting, Big Macintosh saw that Applejack’s friend Rarity was galloping towards his home and the closer she was, the more he could see that she looked completely flustered.

Slowing down to a trot towards the porch where Granny dozed, Rarity took a few moments to catch her breath. Big Macintosh raised an eyebrow while Rarity tried to regain her composure. Smoothing out her rustled mane, she looked up at Big Macintosh with a glimmer in her eye.

“Big Macintosh, darling, how good to see you home!” she said, stepping past Granny Smith towards the front door where Big Macintosh stood. “I have a bit of a… problem. I was wondering if you could help me. I’ll make it really worth your while. May I come in?”

Why is she here for help? Big Macintosh thought. Applejack’s her friend. Maybe she needs some help hauling things. That’s all ponies ever want from me. “Hey Big Macintosh, can you help me move this wagon?” Ah well.

“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh replied, opening the door and inviting Rarity inside. They walked towards the kitchen where he began to pour water into a small bucket. Collecting some ice from the fridge, he dropped several ice cubes into the bucket for later. He enjoyed the brisk cold feeling on his hooves after a long day’s work.

Rarity looked around for a moment, shifting her eyes to the left and to the right. “Is Granny Smith going to be asleep for a while?”

“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh answered, gripping a basket of sliced bread with his teeth before placing it on the kitchen table. He felt a hankering for a petunia sandwich and a glass of cider.

“And Applebloom is away with Sweetie Belle. Hopefully they won’t be around for a while.”

“Eeyup.” As much as he loved his youngest sister, she could get underhoof more often than not. Speaking of hooves, his were mighty dirty after slogging through the fields with his plow. Rarity was a fussy pony, yet hadn’t said anything though. That was awfully kind of her.

“Oh and Applejack isn’t here, that’s good too. If she only knew…” Rarity tittered like a schoolfilly, while Macintosh proceeded to make his sandwich. While he worked, he suddenly felt Rarity’s coat rubbing up against his dirt-ridden side. Something must be terribly wrong if she was going to ignore that.

“Dear Macintosh, I need you to know that I have a fever,” Rarity explained, looking up at him with half-lidded eyes. “I have a fever, and the only cure is to cool off.”

Macintosh was about to take that first delicious bite of his sandwich when Rarity mentioned her illness. Is that all? He thought, Well that’s an easy fix. Turning back to the fridge, he opened the freezer and pulled out an ice pack with his teeth, careful that the cold didn’t numb his lips. He then placed the ice pack on the table before resuming his new task of sandwich devouring.

Rarity blinked for a moment as she regarded the icepack. “No, darling, that’s not what I meant,” she said, “I mean… I have a delicious pie, Big Macintosh. I came to give that pie to you if you could help me with my fever. You could eat the whole thing and I would be ever so grateful if you could.”

He stopped again in mid bite, looking Rarity over. She didn’t have saddle bags of any sort, wasn’t wearing anything at all quite frankly, not even one of her fancy hats. She just had that disheveled look on her face and slightly harder breathing. Big Macintosh was a good neighbor, of course, and was always willing to help his fellow ponies. He didn’t need the offer of confectionery to motivate him.

That, and he lived on an apple farm. If he wanted to, he could ask Granny Smith or Applejack to whip up a pie right quick. In fact, one was sitting on the windowsill right now, cooling in the summer wind. No, he did not need Rarity’s invisible pie. He politely shook his head and resumed the consumption of his sandwich, taking a swig of cider to wash down his lunch.

Rarity’s face, while still appearing flustered, was now marked with frustration. “You impossible stallion!” she said as she stood in front of Big Macintosh as he tried to put away his dishes. “Listen. I’m hot. The weather outside is hot. I’m in heat. I need to get rid of this excess energy. I need some way to cool off. Do you understand a single word that is coming out of my mouth?”

It was the middle of summer, so being hot was expected. Only now did Macintosh realize that there was a certain smell coming from Rarity, though it was definitely not a new fragrant perfume. This smelled of sweat and… desperation? Could that even have a smell?

Still, it looked like Rarity was in visible pain, and Big Macintosh was nothing but a good neighbor. She said she was in a lot of heat, so maybe she needed a bit more than an ice pack. Maybe she needed some sort of shock to her system.

Taking the bucket of ice water in his mouth, he looked down at Rarity for a moment. A mare suffering like this from the heat needed help right away, and it was his duty as a gentlecolt to do everything he could to help her. With a flick of his neck, he poured the icy contents all over Rarity’s head. She shrieked something fierce, cracking Macintosh’s favourite juice glass. She stood there, wide eyed and trembling while Macintosh set down the bucket before speaking in a hushed voice.

“Macintosh… I suppose that’s one way to cool off, isn’t it.”

“Eeyup.” Pleased with his work, he walked over to a linen closet and drew a towel for Rarity. Hopefully, Rarity’s fever would wear off now that she was cooled down. Rarity did look kind of pretty with a wet mane though, now that Macintosh was taking a second look. Offering her the towel, Rarity shook her head before slowly turning to leave.

“No no, I’ll just… walk home. I’m no longer in heat. Thank you very much, Big Macintosh.” The door opened, revealing Applejack coming back from market. She said her hellos, only to receive a curt reply from Rarity as she left.

“Hey there, Big Macintosh,” Applejack said, walking over to the kitchen to make her own lunch. “What was Rarity doin’ here? And why was she all wet?”

Macintosh stood still for a moment, in the process of pulling out a mop and a bucket to clean up the kitchen. His mind clicked as everything Rarity said and now what his dear little sister said were coming together.

“A.J.?” Macintosh said, “Ah’m an idiot.”

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Comments ( 23 )

Just a short fic about a joke made in /fic/, and a challenge for myself to not write an epic adventure. I hope this is entertaining to you all.

A thanks to the following: DJ Midli, MaverickVox, rhiiazami, and Sagebrush for looking over this fic.

Big Mac, you big dummy! :rainbowlaugh:

(also, why things like this NEVER happen to me?)

:rainbowlaugh:
To quote Colgate from my fic Dreamscape of a Spoon...
"Oh Mackie, you're impossible sometimes...":raritywink:

Pretty funny, Big Mac makes for one loveable oaf. Of course if he had taken Rarity's hint it would have ended pretty awkwardly anyways with AJ being literally a few minutes from walking in unexpectedly.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHHA.......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHH......ah....funny as buck, this story is freakinhg funny as hell, I love it.

bwahahahahaha! :rainbowlaugh:

well done!

That was great. Sometimes, that last line makes the entire fic. it really does.

Strange, I thought the scent alone would have been enough to make him understand.

Oh Macintosh, you and your ablity to not pick up on hints.

Not to bad, in fact not bad at all, wright another.

Oh, I see how it is. And we just talked the other day, too :P

1212009

Don't be mad Fifth, it was just a random idea that took me an hour to write.

Poontang denied.

Big Mac, as a character, is so damn versatile. :rainbowlaugh:

That was great!

this was funny!:rainbowlaugh:

good one :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
its ok BigMac, this sort of thing happens sometimes :twilightblush:

Actually, all things considered, this was probably the best possible outcome for all parties.
Good job, Mac.

The best way for an mlp story to feature sexual themes is without that Romance category looming above it! :pinkiesick: Amusing as hell!

5363422 Ignorance in the face of all things sexual saves the day! :pinkiehappy:
Ignorance = bliss
bliss = an enjoyable show

Had me, then lost me.
Good though!

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