• Member Since 9th Nov, 2015
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Crackshipper par excellence | Find me on twitter @Calchexxis

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Oh, I expected a backstory chapter or two in the main story, but we get the whole side-fic. Splendid! And from the look of things this one will be particularly depressing...

“How’s things at home?” I ask, looking over at Scootaloo.

“Same old,” she says with a shrug. “Mom’s still in denial and Dad acts like I’m the antichrist… you?”

So Scoot lives with her parents instead of her Aunties?

And another entry for this terrifying universe of yours :pinkiecrazy:

"over Spot but I recover to fast, duck"
"over Spot but I recover too fast, duck"?

Well, about as cheerful a beginning as expected! :D
I'm interested to see where this goes, though.

That cover art looks so bad ass and you know it! :yay:

Just so you know, I didn't get a notification for this update, nor did the story move up in my Favourites when sorted by recent updates, nor is it showing up when just viewing unread chapters. Fortunately, I checked down and saw it anyway, but if you find that an oddly low number of people have read this one, that might be why.

"The fire krackles as Scootaloo"
"The fire crackles as Scootaloo"?

"gonna tell her?” She asks, looking"
"gonna tell her?” she asks, looking"?

"continues to prod at the fire pit, I put a hand over"
"continues to prod at the fire pit. I put a hand over"?

"Scootaloo goes along with it, laying down on the mattress"
"Scootaloo goes along with it, lying down on the mattress"?

Also regarding this chapter: Ouch. And presumably, of course, there's a lot more of that on the way...
(I don't plan to stop following the story, though. :))

Yeah, for some reason Fimfiction thinks that these chapters were posted in 2020, so it's probably not giving updates, lol.

Ah, yes, I did notice the timestamps seemed... odd. I'm not sure what's going on there.
Well, in the absence of a fix, perhaps short blog posts accompanying future updates would be a good idea? I'm worried about missing one myself, and then there's the thought that many readers might not even know about this one yet.

“Ah’m… glad Granny passed,” I say bitterly, and on the tail end of my words I start to sob. “Ah… Ah couldn’t take it… the way she looked at me after it all came out! Lookin’ at me like she didn’t know me! Like Ah was a monster! That w-was worse than anything! ”

Damn that's pretty dark Bloom. Even though Granny was dissapointed I'm sure she still loves you. Cause like you said she treated you like her own daughter, I'm sure she doesn't hate ya despite what you've done.

"plod over to where my bag lays at the edge"
"plod over to where my bag lies at the edge"?

"Scootalloo takes it gratefully"
"Scootaloo takes it gratefully"?

"Both Scootaloo and I both turn our heads slowly to look"
One too many "both"s, I'm guessing?

(Not an error spotting, just a comment:)
"Fortunately, that mostly means yelling and throwing stuff rather than hitting me."
Fair bit of significance there for just one word.

"and wrapped the heads nails in the wire"
"and wrapped the heads of the nails in the wire"?

...Kind of wondering why she didn't just use wood glue, though.

"and turn it this and that, examining it"
"and turn it this way and that, examining it"?

Yep, things are going so well for everyone here! :D
(Also, wow, I could almost hear the subtle ominous soundtrack on that scene with Twilight; I'm not sure how much of that was knowing context, but since the relevant context is also from you, nice writing, there. :))

(Oh, though I still did not get a notification for this chapter, nor a bump up the list up update stories. Since you don't seem to plan to do a blog post per update, I'm increasingly concerned I'll miss one, though I suppose I can just keep scrolling as far down the list as it takes until this story's marked complete or something.)

Anyway, thank you for writing. :)

Oh Nice!!
I'm super excited that this was updated again, and I hope there is more to come!

OK, is this town influenced by darkness or is it really just people falling this easily? Stars above, Sweetie... and Scootaloo is the voice of reason... ho boy.

Ah, excellent, and this one went through the proper update... uh... things. Notification, rising in the list, all of that. Thanks, and sorry about any additional bother you may have had getting that to work.

"and slather on a coat of tar on each before spraying"
"and slather a coat of tar on each before spraying"?

"Her expression is that same odd, hollow look as we crouch down in the snow near the lone dumpster along the side of the gas stop."
Doesn't she have her mask on right now? "The three of us come out of the woods from behind the place, hoods up and masks down."? Did I misinterpret that, can they tell anyway, or is it something else?

"Masked, gloved, and silent, the three of us pull our hoods up"
Uh, hm. So was that bit earlier about them having their hoods up and masks down just not supposed to be there at all? Though on the other hand, this bit describes them pulling their hoods up but already being masked, as I read it, so... what exactly is going on here?

"My heart is my throat and my stomach is in knots."
"My heart is in my throat and my stomach is in knots."?

"In a day it’ll be like were never here."
"In a day it’ll be like we were never here."?

"with her fingers wrapped around me neck"
"with her fingers wrapped around my neck"?

"a clear spot beneath and awning"
"a clear spot beneath an awning"?

"and nudges out one of the sticks before taking between her lips"
"and nudges out one of the sticks before taking it between her lips"?

"I can see written plain as day over her"
"I can see it written plain as day over her"?

Woah now they're resorting to robbery?!:pinkiegasp: Man they're definately not coming back form that, this stories getting intense and I like it cant wait to see more:pinkiehappy: Also I'm surprised Twilight is still on their side as well as the Rainbooms considering that Anon a Miss was the CMC's fault.

This the possibly the darkest and saddest thing I've read since Silent Ponyville. Probably even more. I needed an hour to get my cool back. All this pain...

As it is, she’s easily the richest girl at CHS, and she and her little clique of stuck-up snobs have spent the last year making our lives a living hell like it’s their job.

Heh, reading this actually made me think she would have enough sensibility to stop acting like a jerk, at least to them. Guess not.

I think that's kinda of the whole point of this fic in regards to the students of CHS. Their utter hypocrisy and complete inability to learn from their mistakes.

Obviously, there should be consequences for the CMC - regardless of their intentions, their actions resulted in Sunset being taken by the Fog, and a lot of people being hurt.

However, there comes a point where catharsis stops being cathartic, and you're just beating a dead horse with a dead horse.

And in regards to Anon-A-Miss, they're hardly the only ones at fault - while they did light the match, the other students, including the Rainbooms, not only supplied the kindling, but poured gasoline on the fire and made it worse. And poor Sunset was their Wicker Man.

They substituted one scapegoat for another.

That's essentially it, yeah. Given the opportunity to face the things about us that make us bad people and try to fix them, and having the option to blame those things on another person and continue living our lives, blissfully ignorant, most people choose the latter, unfortunately. In this case, the students did just that--first hanging Sunset out to dry, then blaming their own indiscretions on Anon-A-Miss despite them being just as culpable

I can see and understand that but just the magnitude alone is staggering. Maybe I'm just too optimistic but amongs so many people there has to at least one exception. Literally, everyone doing it and then keep doing and spiralling themselves and others into despair, self-harm and 'villany' seems slightly unlikely. Very cynical view on the world.

So, to get real here for a second (I mean IRL real), I grew up in a situation largely like this. My public school experience was a campaign of physical and emotional violence, and yeah, you would think there would be at least one person who spoke up, but there wasn't. Turns out that peer pressure is a helluva thing.

This isn't really worldview, unfortunately. I'm writing from experience.

Ohh. I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, sucks those 'situations' exist. And not just at schools.

But still, what about families. (In-Universe, not sure, it's appropriate to bring that IRL. I don't want to bring up a firestorm). Is there really no one more sympathetic to their plight and just abusive, ignorant at best? All three of them?

There probably is but the CMC can't see it, after all Sweetiebells, Appleblooms, and Scootaloos sisters go to this school so even if their were other family members who knew of this and were sympathetic it is hard to see and hear their words of comfort when those you hold the closest (In this regard the sisters) are also the ones hurting you, while I have not had to experience this I sadly was one of these very people to my brother......thankfully I got over myself but I saw it's effects on him, and thankfully now me and my brother are mending that bridge

"and on the last one we’d only barely made it away from before the cops showed"
"and on the last one we’d only barely made it away before the cops showed"?

"doing cartwheels as I mull of her proposition"
"doing cartwheels as I mull over her proposition"?

"the only who ain’t losing her head"
"the only one who ain’t losing her head"?

"Maybe because she’s the more grounded of us?"
"Maybe because she’s the most grounded of us?"?

"She says it like every ain’t already gone"
"She says it like everything ain’t already gone"?

"a weak rattle as Scootaloo moves to from left to cut off their"
What was that "moves to from left" meant to be? I'm not parsing it sufficiently to suggest a correction, sorry.

"than the soft, sobbing still coming"
"than the soft sobbing still coming"?

"she eases up her grip before, leads the way with Ginger silently weeping behind her, I take"
"she eases up her grip before leading the way with Ginger silently weeping behind her. I take"?

"“Ah’d hate t’hafta to do something about it.”"
"“Ah’d hate t’hafta do something about it.”"?

"practically sticking my inside it, and spot"
"practically sticking my head inside it, and spot"?

"Each of us knows where the others."
"Each of us knows where the others are."?

"get close enough, and the spins around to face me."
"get close enough, and he spins around to face me."?

"and grip the hand of the knife with"
"and grip the handle of the knife with"?

"over my shoulder it’s the stink of death."
"over my shoulder; it’s the stink of death."?

"as the Fog of the Trails whirls around"
"as the Fog of the Trials whirls around"?

Hmmmm....given the official sequels title, I think there's a reason why Applebloom feels weird around Sci-Twi.

Will this harsh truth be administered to the masses in the fic, at some point? Because I would just love to see the looks on the guilty's faces when they realized that they made the very monsters now about to hunt them. I'm a very vindictive person in that manner; something about seeing someone shown their own hypocrisy is oh so sweet.

I think that's my inner sadist talking.

I have just one question: What Trials?

Comment posted by Kirbyfan123 deleted Oct 1st, 2021
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