• Member Since 31st Jan, 2016
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Nitro Indigo


I write about griffs. (♀ | Timezone: BST | Discord)

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Source

While on holiday in Wales, Gallus, Silverstream, and Terramar decide to spend the afternoon at an amusement park in a small seaside town. Silverstream has the time of her life. Gallus... not so much.


Not related to Silent Wings. Pre-read by Casketbase77 and several people on the Fimfiction Discord server.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 11 )

I enjoyed this :twilightsmile:

It's always nice to see snippets of ponies (well, not exactly but you get the gist of it) just hanging out on Earth.

Personally, I really enjoyed Gallus and Silverstream's interactions before, during, and after the ride. It's sweet, heh. And as someone else brought up, nice detail on Gallus feeling better towards the end.

As an aside;

She couldn't imagine being deaf!

I see what you did there.

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I’m glad you liked that side-comment. It was one of Casketbase77’s ideas.

“I won first prize in the shooting gallery,” Terramar replied. Gallus’ jaw dropped when he saw that he was dragging a white and pink, bug-eyed unicorn plushie that was almost as big as he was. It looked like Professor Rarity on a bad day. “They said my aim was good enough to hit an eagle in the eye. Don’t tell Gilda you heard that from me.”

Wow, this line does look better in retrospect, especially considering the aside to Gilda earlier on in the story.

Anyway,s this fantastic FIMFic is short, sweet and Silverstreamy. And I thank you for it.

10375554 That’s the main reason I liked your suggestion.

Dan
Dan #5 · Aug 9th, 2020 · · ·

August is the absolute worst month. The only good thing about it is the State Fair, and it's been cancelled this year. Fuck 2020.

I wish I had some cute horsebirds and catbirds to hang out with. It would make this miserable year much more bearable.

10375578 Where I live, this month has been alternating between too hot and overcast so far.

Adorable!

Mighty fine. Wraps up quickly and cleanly too, which I admire. I’ve always found closing lines to be the most difficult part of a fic to write. Then again I also struggle with lighthearted humor, which this fic also has plenty of. I can tell that after feeling out Gallus and Silverstream’s bond in Silent Wings, you were really comfortable giving them rapport in this fic. A lesser writer would make Silver into an insufferable genki girl and Gallus a total stick in the mud, but they’re both grounded and reasonable here. In their own ways.

No one seems to have picked up on the Megan reference. Oh well. Sometimes subtle mythology nods don’t pan out with the audience.

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No one seems to have picked up on the Megan reference.

Someone on Discord did.

I had to ask for help with the closing lines, and the ending of Silent Wings. The best ending line I've ever read in a fanfic was in Runic Notation.

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10384225

raises hand

I did - I thought it was hilarious, and a touch endearing, heh.

Hello, a review for your story has been posted in the My Little Reviews & Feedback Group. I hope you find it helpful. :twilightsmile:

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