• Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
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pony-writer/pornographer looking for work. old stories undeleted. i'm sorry. Patreon here


Even though it seemed normal for her, Derpy's never been the best at breathing. When she panics, when she flies too fast for too long, or sometimes just randomly in the middle of the night, waking her up out of her dreams and nightmares. She's never known there was a solution for her problem, or for the other problems she didn't even know she had.

After Derpy's visit to the hospital, things in her life get more complicated than she feels like she can handle. What happens after that? Derpy tries her best, of course. That's all anypony can really do.

Written as part of a series of ongoing PG-13 commissions for an Anonymous donor.

Content Warning: Mild AU, depression/intrusive thoughts, realistic portrayals of mental illness and emotional trauma.

Please be careful reading this story if you suffer from depression or another mental illness. Some of the passages contained now (and especially later) may be triggering.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 14 )

Keep going! It's a very interesting story. Those doctor ponies really should have set her up with counseling or taken the time to explain things, not just said "here's medicine for what we think you have, k thanks bye".

Please keep going.

I have/had asthma, mostly allergy related and now I avoid anything that might trigger it. But it's awful and I feel this.

I hope she gets better.

This looks to be very cute, but its so hard to read when the dialogue isn't within ""

'Enjoying' probably isn't accurate, but please do continue when/if you're able.

Derpy is so high right now

Great story so far. Please continue.

This is pretty intense. Every few paragraphs, I'm reminded of some of the less pleasant parts of my life.

I really hope Derpy gets a happy ending.

While it can be a bit difficult to follow at times, my fault not yours, I can certainly relate to a number of the unpleasant feelings Derpy is going through...

I too would like to see this continue.

The lack of quotation marks is understandable when you're using the mode of storytelling I'm seeing here. However, if the dialogue and thoughts of characters could at least be italicized, it would improve the story's readability and presentation.

So far, I really like what I'm reading. There is a creeping, unsettling edge to Derpy's confusion.

And the pony behind the counter had said, Also, does he mean //something-something//-etamol? Because that's not covered by your insurance. Probably.

I'd really remove those, at the very least. Italics, quotes, or no slashes at all would look just fine. Here, it looks like you left editing/rough draft marks in your story and intended to put something here, despite it being intentional that Derpy doesn't catch/understand the name of the medication.

The part with the phone was extremely jarring for a pony story. Otherwise, this is the most uncomfortable story about medication that I've read since... I think it was one of Regidar's stories, one with Pinkie Pie.

This is unpleasant...in a good way?

Either way poor Derpy needs a hug.

Brilliant. In every chapter, something sparked; sometimes it was grand, sometimes intimate, always dazzling. If I had to pick a favorite excerpt (among many), it would be this:

Derpy just stuck to the ones she knew, because every time she figured out a new one she would use it all day until everypony around her would groan each time she said it, and even then she could tell they weren't very happy she was learning a new word anyway, so it was better to stick to the old ones. Yep.

I would love to read more, but not at your expense. But, going by what you said here:

But I want to get to the inspiration of the story, which was confrontation with folks supposedly interested in 'helping'.

I believe in this topic, if that makes any sense, and the necessity of its exploration. And I know you're the best around to explore it. This is an important story.

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