• Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Sunday


pony-writer/pornographer looking for work. old stories undeleted. i'm sorry. Patreon here


Time in Ponyville has broken. Everypony is dealing with it in some way or another—except you. You're fine, somehow. Oh, and me. I suppose that's where things start. Let's be on with it then, shall we?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 62 )

The master of ambiguous descriptions strikes again!


Not bad at all. This should be featured (shame we can't decide).

~Skeeter The Lurker

Good show, darf! I enjoyed this a lot, though it was quite the deviation from your usual work. :twilightsmile:

A Darf story that isn't a clop?


:pinkiehappy: Eh, oh well. It still looks good.

Again, I'm pleased to see that all your content isn't well written smut. Good story yet again, Darf.


mapu #7 · Jun 13th, 2013 · · 18 ·

Well this was pretty boring, also hated the "flashbacks" or whatever those inserted segments were called. Might be just me taught.

Well, the formatting is a bit off, but other than that I enjoyed that read. I was half-expecting Doctor Whooves to show up somewhere in this (if he is not actually the "second person") and I usually enjoy an unforseen difference in a story.

Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...
Nice. This is...

Waitaminnut, did Mr. Cake walk in to his wife cheating on him, or did he walk into an intruder breaking into Sugarcube Corner? :duck:

It is done. Quite deserving too. :ajsmug:

Those closing lines :pinkiesad2:

The first, I think.

2717607 I'll have to reread that whole part.

Alright, upon rereading, yeah, the first it is. The placebo effect of this caffiene-free cola made me think otherwise.

Good ol' Darf, doing the things nobody dares to do! Stories in quotations ahoy! I never really found a use for that code, and it seems you have!

Though you might wanna fix that bold code if you haven't already...

2717423I CAN'T DO IT JON.

2717683 Well, I'll tell you what, Dashie! You can give up now, or you can stick it out! Because I certainly can't do it without you, and I know you can't do it without me!

2717695I...I appreciate it...


A Darf story that isn't clop?
FUCK YEA! :flutterrage:


It's always little pieces like this that truly make you think, isn't it.

Good show.

What would you tell her, if you could?

Hey Twilight! Use your magic, dummy.

This is an amazing story. I would love to see a sequel, but I know that any sequel written would ruin it.

I'm just debating in my head whether every single sentence in this story has correct grammar or not... Example; "in the basement of a delightful little abode occupied by the previously mentioned one Twilight Sparkle."
Now, at first I thought there was no way that could be right. The 'one Twilight Sparkle' doesn't really apply to the part before it 'the previously mentioned'. But after looking through it again I can see that if we take out 'the previously mentioned' from the sentence it becomes: 'occupied by one Twilight Sparkle' which actually does work. So technically the sentence is correct. Almost every other sentence in what I've read so far seems almost wrong. Which I find somewhat distracting. Though at this point it seems Discord is speaking, and that the almost wrongness might be intentional. Either way, I think it's kind of fun to read, even if the story's a little slow.

At fist I was like :ajbemused:

But then I was like :rainbowhuh:

At the end, I was like :facehoof:

In all, it was like :yay: :pinkiecrazy: :raritystarry: :trollestia:

No, things happen for a reason. I’m sure of it, and I’m the type who doesn’t even believe in reason on the best of days.


This is Australia...

Comment posted by Burritoburger deleted Jun 14th, 2013

I am totally calling Twilight 'Purple Ponk' from now on.

What! A darf fic thats not clop! What manner of black sorcery is this?

Huh. That was certainly a thing. A fascinating and exhaustive exploration of ten seconds in time and some rather enlightening vistas in Discord's mind. I enjoyed it.

This is the first second-person perspective work I've read that hasn't earned instant ire for its perspective. I haven't finished reading it yet, but that alone is impressive enough that I guarantee you won't have a downvote from me.

So, overall: Is it terrible that it took me until after two little "viewings" to realize it was Discord narrating? Sigh.

going around at the moment

You got me here; I snortled out loud. :rainbowlaugh:

There’s someone famous who asked that once. Less famous than me, I’d wager, though I’m sure he’d debate that if he wasn't

That's a thing. I forget what; very bad insomnia right now.

I hope that’s not where you’re bringing this.There will be no unpleasantly philosophical metaphors today.

Missing a space. Sorry, just caught my eye.

:applejackconfused: ...yeah that's all i really have to say about this.

2717816 I like how any non-Grump fans who read that chain will think that we're hating on the story.

Our story, like all stories, must have a beginning somewhere. This one in particular is just a bit odd because, rather than beginning, we shall intend to start in the middle. Not in the middle of the story, rather, but right in the middle of things. The thick of it, as it were, surrounded on all sides by beginnings and endings. And the middle of our story, in an abstract sense, but also the beginning.

Oh, god. I'm gonna have to think during this one, aren't I?


I see no dislikes, so I'd say all is good.

AMAZING story! :raritystarry:

This was absolutely brilliant, you can indeed write fantastic stories with the wave of a hand. I enjoyed it so much that I kept reading and rereading certain parts of it, adding a delightful irony to the whole experience. :twilightsmile:

I did find some errors though, I'm not sure whether some are... intentional, perhaps?

untangling the sheets from her body and letting them fall tp the floor.


When the drop falls from her hoof the ground

to the ground

if he wasn't busy


to a fine ash, like sand

period (.) at the end is missing

It holds it acorn out again.

its acorn

The mare’s coat coat is blue

there's one extra "coat", apparently

sewing supplies and etcetera

just "etcetera" should suffice

And as for Pinkie's punchline, it couldn't get better than that! :pinkiehappy:
Now excuse me as I go mull over the deeper meanings of your story...if there are any. :duck:

2719466Me too.:pinkiehappy:And just because of that beautiful little moment we just had, I'm following you. Happy un-birthday!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Dark. Really freakin' dark.

Probably the only second personish fic I've ever thoroughly enjoyed. It works on a literary level, too.

So, did clock cause all that, or was it just Discord messing around?

I was tempted at first to say that the individual vignettes were trite or cloying (and the Cakes, Celestia and Fluttershy were kind of ... eh ...) then I remembered the Applejack and Dash ones, those were good.
The banana peel gag was poorly executed compared to the fun of the narrator. Maybe that was the point, what is the future? Imagine a man slipping on a banana peel forever.

Over all, I loved it, and it does sometimes feel cruel to run these little horses through the same sad comedy story paces everyday, infinite repetition of the same character themes until every story is just a rehash of the "accepted" interpretations that trap them.

*Grins* Interesting and appealing. I confess even with the Discord I found myself pondering who else could fit in that spot. Time Turner maybe, or Minuette. Almost any background character really as long as you fleshed them out slightly. Either way, very impressive.

Thoroughly enjoyable read. It would have been Discord narrating; he's the only one who fits all the right tones and such (though he seemed a bit more passively malicious here) and the only one who could be in a position to narrate such an event.

Whether Darf stories be clop or not, I've come to understand that rarely are they not worth dropping everything (mind, not being discourteous about it) and reading. Not skimming; skim and you lose a lot in stories like this or Αλεcτρονα. You have to pay attention, and when a good narrative like this really starts to come together in your head, there's a satisfaction and enthrallment like little else.

....so who were we?

No one is going to comment on the amazing reference to Far Cry 3? :rainbowhuh:

...Oh, I guess I just did. :twilightsheepish:

Well, whatever was the point, or moral, or what the sequences were theming, flew right the fuck over me like a satilite in orbit.

I felt like there was no point in this read, however I've found myself lacking in any "higher" thinking all day anyways, so that's just me. Whatever it is you guys are catching, I'm not getting.

nice... wait, what's happenin...
˙˙˙uıuǝddɐɥ s,ʇɐɥʍ 'ʇıɐʍ ˙˙˙ǝɔıu

I don't particularly like this, but don't particularly dislike it either. I just... don't get it.

He might not have intended to teach a lesson but he did anyway....he's a great big jerk.......

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